Frame is your regard for a situation or circumstance
I'll add my own experience about frame.
First of all, it really is that general. It's the
angle from where you are looking at something. It's the
interpretation of reality.
That interpretation is affected by the own
values, beliefs, opinions and desires because we try to
make reality comply with them.
Very easy example is this forum: Some may see a place of learning, some may see a place of mysoginistic, hateful men, some may see pathetic loosers complaining. The assessment tells you more about the person than about this forum itself.
Women are the web weavers. They control men by controlling their frame.
They create an image for us that is in their interest.
That's why people here advice to force women to action by asking them out: They have to give a clear statement that is
not subject to interpretation.
That's also why women gaslight: They want to
obfuscate their clear statement afterwards, so they can again
manipulate your reality to their benefit.
Here is also the tragedy of so many men found:
They act.
They pay extra
attention on her verbal and non-verbal communication and her actions.
They
adapt their own behaviour
based on her reaction.
-> She is in control.
Another process is this:
A man
reveals something about himself because of his direct communication style or by a facial expression.
She derives a value, belief, opinion or desire from it and integrates it in her impression about him.
She uses the new information by adapting the image he has about her
in such a way that it benefits her.
-> She is in control.
A good example of the latter is when changes in her interest level happen:
At first, she is flirting, seems to be single, is available, compliant, amiable and sexual.
Something 'disqualifying' occurs but she has to remain on friendly terms.
She answers tersely, mentions her boyfriend, acts professional constantly, 'forgets' personal information about you, exhibits behaviour she knows you don't like or she expects you not to like, expresses contrary opinions.
She wants your van for a vacation with her boyfriend in three months.
She doubts her relationship, is professional only when required, else friendly, drops behaviour you don't like and picks up behaviours you do like, doubts her contrary opinions, creates van vacations as a conversational topic.
Why do most women like
mysterious men? Because it's much harder to figure them out and they are
not easily controlled by others.
Why do most women like
experienced men? Because it's much harder to manipulate their reality and they are
not easily controlled by others.
Why do most women like
dominant men? Because they are in a position of power and actively shape the world to their liking. If the woman controls the dominant man, she can
shape the world to her liking.
As a consequence, the mysterious, experienced and dominant man is very sought after.
However, he is both powerful and uncontrollable. Therefore, he is only able to form a relationship with a woman that either submits completely and is of little use or with a woman that sees the world like he does.
If a man tries to be mysterious, experienced and dominant, he walks into both traps described above.
So it's clear operating in your own frame is advantageous for live in general.
A problem is the power dynamic: If someone else has more power than you, you better submit to his or her frame.
If you get into a new group as an outsider, you either submit to the frame of the group or you remain an on-looker.
For me, the
relevant question has become this:
What do I want and how do I get it?
I can temporarily submit to different frames. I think this is absolutely normal, think of regular people who work.
Example: Chick that works in gym.
I'm interested in her but don't want to approach in the gym. She notices though.
She positions herself closely, expecting me to approach. I don't.
Next time I enter the gym, she doesn't greet, leans against the reception desk with her back (on the side of the reception that is for the staff).
I go to the side that is for the gym members, directly behind her (like 50cm away) to fill out my workout plan. She doesn't turn.
Unphased I fill out the plan and start my workout.
I get Covid.
After 2 months I finally return to the gym, she is even more interested.
Example: Chick in a club (not a disco, I mean something like a soccer club) that has a higher status than me and that I depend on.
I'm completely new in the club.
I meet her and I'm interested (romantically). I start flirting, she reciprocates. I catch feelings.
During the next days, I understand I will depend on her and that she is at the top hierarchical position of the club.
I converse with her about club related stuff over chat the next two weeks.
A club event with a lot of members happens, including her. I am super stressed because I know nobody.
She starts a conversation with me but I impolitely end it right away and walk off.
She has casual sex with one of the dudes there.
Next (smaller) event, she mentions her BF and asks me a solely personal question to which she already got the answer the first time we met.
In chat conversation the next days, she remembers an information about me from the first time we met, but that information is relevant to the club.
So what I want to say: Frame is all good, but
you can't beat women at their own game.
Go for what you want, work on stoicism, work on assertiveness and aggression. That's enough.
