What if nothing changes after yrs of struggle?

[n00bPimp]

Putting sh!t down straight and honest, I have embedded myself for 3 yrs with countless game articles, books, self-help stuff, meditation, epiphanies, etc and I still am not getting any girls. I mean, does this only happen to me? I am still nervous and don't seem to do "right" things with girls to get em.

You know why you still can't get girls? because you're only reading sh1t, you're only analysing game theory sh1t, and you're only THINKING about this sh1t. You're not doing the only thing that counts, which is going out AND DOING THIS SH1T. No it doesn't happen to just you. It happens to everyone who doesn't want to conquer his fears, it happens to everyone who doesn't have the discipline to push themselves, and to all those who don't mind living a miserable life as long as they feel comfortable now. The truth is, the only way to enjoy long lasting happiness is by going through small but worthwhile pains.

I am seriously believing (half-jokingly) that maybe some type of spiritual leader or godly man who will set the course of this fvcked up world in right way will be born between me and my future wife or some sh!t; and maybe that's why God has been c0ck-blocking me the whole time haha jkjk.

It seems like you're waiting for someone to come solve your problems. Perhaps because your whole life you have been a follower and not a take charge person.

Nah, but really, I see my brother (sibling) hooking up chicks with ease and is never nervous, but always confident and surrounded by people that think he's cool. You know when you meet or see "that" man and you can't explain why, but you know he's cool and is a real man?

Because he doesn't give a **** about what others think. He lives in the moment, and you live in the mistakes of your past and your worries of the future. You focus on the negative (hence this thread) and thats keeping off the positive social life you want.

I have struggled a long time and after getting shot down at bar again yesterday, I am thinking "WTF", maybe I am just a dumba$$ who doesn't get it or some divinity is majorly c0ck-blocking me. I don't know guys... What should a guy like me do

Social organisms are built in a way so that betas dont threaten the stability of alphas. Betas are built in such a way that they will give up when faced with the adversity that alphas regularly face. This lack of courage is what keeps betas in their place on the social structure. As long as you lack courage, you will not advance in the structure, you will never be alpha.
The key to inner game is not about learning HOW to make girls respond to you, its about learning to control how YOU respond to them.

Society will always throw stones at you to keep you docile, and you will never be able to stop those rocks. What you CAN do however is learn to brush off the pain. Only then will your life change, and only then will you be confident and attain long lasting happiness.

 

[Nygard]

Oh man..not another "Man up!" " Become Alpha!" "Get some courage and some confidence".

It' very easy to pick the problems out, anyone could do it, even the poster himself. I won't disregard the work you put into it just to educate the user about why he is sucking, but that is just not going to help if he has a low self esteem and doesn't believe he's cut for it. If you tell me that society is built in such a way that becoming good with women from a position of total scarcity is an uphill battle , then I'm going to be sure there is absolutely no way for me to change. You write that there's a huge lack of courage, as if it is some kind of state secret. Well, guess what, it isn't a secret.

You're telling hit to learn stuff that is not supposed to be learned directly. For example: "learn to brush off the pain", " about learning to control how YOU respond ". Describing his brother, you tell him he needs to learn to not care, learn to live in the moment, learn learn learn learn. What the **** did we do so wrong that we need to learn to live? How do you learn to live? By learning how to learn to live? Sweet.

moneyisking, instead of attacking your situation, let me tell you something: none of this crap ever works. I've never known of anyone who has gotten better by his own hard work and perseverance. The few that I've heard of become gurus and their stories are anecdotal at best, they are not proven and there's no way to prove their tall tale is not a marketing stunt. There's always some guys around who will tell you they did, but they were actually "chodes" when they were too young and immature to have anything set in their lives. There's one way out, however, and that is social circles. Stop trying to approach, that almost never works and we will never get it right. Start signing up for activities, sports, beer leagues, anything. Make friends there, join their social circle. Eventually, you will mix with naturals and learn from them ( this is also known as tandem learning and it's a proven learning method). Also, you will get to meet all these women by connections and such. You will never look back. I have a friend who did this and is now pulling women left and right and did not approach or worked hard for anything.We are social animals, and WE JUST CAN'T learn behavioral traits by ourselves, we need to learn them socially. You will see, once you have all this social stuff down, whatever little you learned from these books will give you a small push with all the people you will meet after building up your circles.

 

[corrector]

I've dumped that last "Make Woman Laugh" e-book -- I think it's BS and looks are more important. So now I was looking at "looks" e-book (How to be Handsome) and getting information. They said for starters, people have to dress congruently. That was a no-brainer. Today when I went to church, I accidentally wore a white runner one one foot and a black runner on another foot.

This teaches me that whatever I learned yesterday worked against me. If I didn't know about congruence in clothing, then that accident probably would not have happened. This shows that you can always absorb information, then subconciously use it against yourself if there is some hidden process in the mind.

Now, I'm thinking, maybe subconciously I'm sabotaging my chances, and any information I learn could also be used against me. When I look at it, I never made that mistake before of wearing white shoes and black shoes...but made it the following day after reading a tip on fashion congruency.

Does anyone else find they mess up in ways they never did before when they read these books? So, there we go again, what is the smoking gun? Do we learn to be this way, dress or act this way, do x,y,z, etc..... change our subconcious thinking with affirmations? Or, maybe it's a quick-fix mentality of thinking there is one piece of information out there that can change your whole life that you don't know about, but it costs x,y,z, and here are a free worthless tips to put credibility to the product so we can insult your intelligence to add insult to injury while we are trying to sell this product? This in itself sounds like a big game.

 

[the305]

Honestly you're best route is to get a wing or mentor. you more then likely have a few sticking points you don't realize you have. Usually only other people can point them out.

 

[FastMen]

Don't know dude. I'm the same way and I'm almost ready to just throw in the towel as far as women are concerned. Maybe there are just guys that aren't capable of being successful with women. I've decided to stop making choices in my life that would be a benefit to a future family (since I won't have one) and just make choices that make me happy.

this mindset is the worst
you should think youre going to get a girl you really like
and not act like a loser, i know its har i been there, but you must stay strong
and faithfully on you wishes
rock on,talk to any girl u like theres many...

 

[Megaman XIV]

this mindset is the worst
you should think youre going to get a girl you really like
and not act like a loser, i know its har i been there, but you must stay strong
and faithfully on you wishes
rock on,talk to any girl u like theres many...

That's great, but these days, women choose men since women are the ones being approached daily by random men who are average. Especially the really hot ones. Even ugly and fat chicks have that kind of choosing power.

@ Scion, most guys who suck with women either go into hiding and come out when they have money or fame or something valuable to offer.

Or they get out the house and try their LUCK.

 

[moneyisking]

Oh man..not another "Man up!" " Become Alpha!" "Get some courage and some confidence".

It' very easy to pick the problems out, anyone could do it, even the poster himself. I won't disregard the work you put into it just to educate the user about why he is sucking, but that is just not going to help if he has a low self esteem and doesn't believe he's cut for it. If you tell me that society is built in such a way that becoming good with women from a position of total scarcity is an uphill battle , then I'm going to be sure there is absolutely no way for me to change. You write that there's a huge lack of courage, as if it is some kind of state secret. Well, guess what, it isn't a secret.

You're telling hit to learn stuff that is not supposed to be learned directly. For example: "learn to brush off the pain", " about learning to control how YOU respond ". Describing his brother, you tell him he needs to learn to not care, learn to live in the moment, learn learn learn learn. What the **** did we do so wrong that we need to learn to live? How do you learn to live? By learning how to learn to live? Sweet.

moneyisking, instead of attacking your situation, let me tell you something: none of this crap ever works. I've never known of anyone who has gotten better by his own hard work and perseverance. The few that I've heard of become gurus and their stories are anecdotal at best, they are not proven and there's no way to prove their tall tale is not a marketing stunt. There's always some guys around who will tell you they did, but they were actually "chodes" when they were too young and immature to have anything set in their lives. There's one way out, however, and that is social circles. Stop trying to approach, that almost never works and we will never get it right. Start signing up for activities, sports, beer leagues, anything. Make friends there, join their social circle. Eventually, you will mix with naturals and learn from them ( this is also known as tandem learning and it's a proven learning method). Also, you will get to meet all these women by connections and such. You will never look back. I have a friend who did this and is now pulling women left and right and did not approach or worked hard for anything.We are social animals, and WE JUST CAN'T learn behavioral traits by ourselves, we need to learn them socially. You will see, once you have all this social stuff down, whatever little you learned from these books will give you a small push with all the people you will meet after building up your circles.

Thanks man, great advice

and thanks everyone for advices

 

[speakeasy]

Putting sh!t down straight and honest, I have embedded myself for 3 yrs with countless game articles, books, self-help stuff, meditation, epiphanies, etc and I still am not getting any girls. I mean, does this only happen to me? I am still nervous and don't seem to do "right" things with girls to get em.

I am seriously believing (half-jokingly) that maybe some type of spiritual leader or godly man who will set the course of this fvcked up world in right way will be born between me and my future wife or some sh!t; and maybe that's why God has been c0ck-blocking me the whole time haha jkjk.

Nah, but really, I see my brother (sibling) hooking up chicks with ease and is never nervous, but always confident and surrounded by people that think he's cool. You know when you meet or see "that" man and you can't explain why, but you know he's cool and is a real man?

I have struggled a long time and after getting shot down at bar again yesterday, I am thinking "WTF", maybe I am just a dumba$$ who doesn't get it or some divinity is majorly c0ck-blocking me. I don't know guys... What should a guy like me do

I'm in the same predicament. I've just stopped reading most this game stuff because I don't feel like it's helping me. I mostly hang out in the anything else forum and talk about random stuff. I have a buddy who gets laid all the time. He's not a dude that I think he's any better looking than the average guy and I don't think he has much game. I've never even seen him cold approach, but yet he just stumbles into p*ssy all the time. He says he doesn't even try.

I'm at my last wit trying to explain why some guys get laid a lot and some guys don't. I am starting to think that there's a lot of sh*t that's just outside of our control.

 

[HolyG]

Hi guys, I've spent the last 10 years of my life trying to become a pro basketball player. I read basketball help books to learn the game, I surf basketball forums to learn tricks. I watch NBA games all the time. I research DVDs that tell me how to play, shoot, and dribble properly.

yet I'm not making progress.

Oh? What's that?

PLAYING basketball? Actually getting on the courts?

Uh, no, not really... maybe once a month or so..

what's that? I have to actually play my ass off, everyday and practice everyday until I get better?

No, no, I'll stick to the books and keep whining. Thanks.

 

[FastMen]

That's great, but these days, women choose men since women are the ones being approached daily by random men who are average. Especially the really hot ones. Even ugly and fat chicks have that kind of choosing power.

@ Scion, most guys who suck with women either go into hiding and come out when they have money or fame or something valuable to offer.

Or they get out the house and try their LUCK.

But remember the power they have is the one you give, if you give them any power they wont have any...I know if you like her you will try your best and maybe carry your heart on your arms , im romantic too., and you can always try to do the things someone else tells you but it wont work because you are not me, and viceversa, so i think yes they can choose , but if they make a stupid decision of choosin other guy because only looks, or money, they will pay the consequences, i see this happens all the time....so my advice is beyourself, say what you feel, but stay on the field.:rockon:

 

[r0cky]

Hi guys, I've spent the last 10 years of my life trying to become a pro basketball player. I read basketball help books to learn the game, I surf basketball forums to learn tricks. I watch NBA games all the time. I research DVDs that tell me how to play, shoot, and dribble properly.

yet I'm not making progress.

Oh? What's that?

PLAYING basketball? Actually getting on the courts?

Uh, no, not really... maybe once a month or so..

what's that? I have to actually play my ass off, everyday and practice everyday until I get better?

No, no, I'll stick to the books and keep whining. Thanks.

Well put. You're brilliant. Hopefully the OP and all those who feel for him read this and wake the fu k up

 

[bam bam]

rocky and holyg on the ball with this... yup sounds like a lot more knowledge then experience to me... I dont know anyone who hasn't gotten more confident doing something over the years gym/riding/snowboarding... gotta push your comfort zone or your not learning... it's great you get nervous but it does fade after time...

nygard your turning around the argument to make it sound like ya just go be yourself everyone will love you anyways. That doesn't happen dont tell him to avoid trying to work at a part in his life he feels is lacking. Humans are social but not socially equal. If you let him be passive in his life then the women he wants to go for he will regret cause he wont go for them. Instead he'll get the women that are a desperate and chasing him. What's given to you isn't as valuable as knowing how to get it again yourself. Give a man a fish and you feed him once... teach a man fishing and he feeds himself for life... something like that at least...

 

[PoliticalCrisis]

Grow some Balls.

 

[slaog]

OP you say you've read all of the material out there but it sounds like you don't understand attraction.


I keep reading about how guys' friends say its so easy to get girls and you know what, they're telling the truth, it is! They believe its easy so it is for them. And theres the key word, believe. Before you get women you have to believe you can. At the moment you firmly believe you cannot.


Have you tried to change your beliefs lately? Because its clear you need to. Even looking at your username is clear you have false limiting beliefs.

 

[FairShake]

If nothing works...keep going.

What do you really have to lose? You will be in the exact same position you are now. If you quit you will be in a lower position.

 

[Huffman]

You're telling hit to learn stuff that is not supposed to be learned directly.

You spell it out, most of the stuff taught round here is not supposed to be learned directly. This is why people have been constantly giving out the exact same advice for the last 3 years, and why the guys just don't learn it.

I mean, all the DJ articles here are nice and good! But they are only text that describes skills! How are you supposed to learn a skill from reading a description?

There is work to be done, guys. Learn it the hard way or never learn at all.

 

[djprophet]

Putting sh!t down straight and honest, I have embedded myself for 3 yrs with countless game articles, books, self-help stuff, meditation, epiphanies, etc and I still am not getting any girls. I mean, does this only happen to me? I am still nervous and don't seem to do "right" things with girls to get em.

I am seriously believing (half-jokingly) that maybe some type of spiritual leader or godly man who will set the course of this fvcked up world in right way will be born between me and my future wife or some sh!t; and maybe that's why God has been c0ck-blocking me the whole time haha jkjk.

Nah, but really, I see my brother (sibling) hooking up chicks with ease and is never nervous, but always confident and surrounded by people that think he's cool. You know when you meet or see "that" man and you can't explain why, but you know he's cool and is a real man?

I have struggled a long time and after getting shot down at bar again yesterday, I am thinking "WTF", maybe I am just a dumba$$ who doesn't get it or some divinity is majorly c0ck-blocking me. I don't know guys... What should a guy like me do

all the self help books in the world wont help you if you dont learn from them, your problems with women stem from nervousness which they can sense, try going to a mall and approaching all the women and get rejected

 

[PokerStar]

the only **** blocker out there is the one that stares at you in the mirror.

 

[Maxtro]

After yet another failure with a girl, I'm really staring to believe that some men are just not meant to get girls.

Should there be a time when giving up is the right course of action?

I have no intention of living my adult life as a lonely man. I just can't see a point to it. In a little over a year from now I'm going to be out of college and 30 years old. Is there really any hope of getting a woman from then on if I haven't been able to get one in my youth?

 

[Zarky]

OP, first off, you're making the mistake of asking for advice on internet forums. 99.9% of the dudes on seduction sites have no skills with women, and yet they're trying to give advice? I've been on dating sites since 1997 and have never seen one bit of information here that couldn't have been found in either Ross Jeffries, Mystery, David Deangelo, or whomever. And 999999 out of every 1000000 posts are just laughable.

The only reason I'm here is that when I respond to a post, I have to put my thoughts in some sort of order, so that I can convey them to others, and sometimes this process enlightens me even more. That's really the only use for internet forums.

To answer your question: It's a numbers game. If you've got the techniques in your head then it's ONLY about how many women you're approaching. So, how many women are you approaching each week? Should be at least 15.