What if nothing changes after yrs of struggle?

[moneyisking]

Putting sh!t down straight and honest, I have embedded myself for 3 yrs with countless game articles, books, self-help stuff, meditation, epiphanies, etc and I still am not getting any girls. I mean, does this only happen to me? I am still nervous and don't seem to do "right" things with girls to get em.

I am seriously believing (half-jokingly) that maybe some type of spiritual leader or godly man who will set the course of this fvcked up world in right way will be born between me and my future wife or some sh!t; and maybe that's why God has been c0ck-blocking me the whole time haha jkjk.

Nah, but really, I see my brother (sibling) hooking up chicks with ease and is never nervous, but always confident and surrounded by people that think he's cool. You know when you meet or see "that" man and you can't explain why, but you know he's cool and is a real man?

I have struggled a long time and after getting shot down at bar again yesterday, I am thinking "WTF", maybe I am just a dumba$$ who doesn't get it or some divinity is majorly c0ck-blocking me. I don't know guys... What should a guy like me do

 

[Scion]

Don't know dude. I'm the same way and I'm almost ready to just throw in the towel as far as women are concerned. Maybe there are just guys that aren't capable of being successful with women. I've decided to stop making choices in my life that would be a benefit to a future family (since I won't have one) and just make choices that make me happy.

 

[Chromeo]

why dont you guys head to the chicago pride parade, im sure you could get some there.

or become a priest.


problem is really you guys are putting the ***** on a pedestal. Try going out to have fun instead of hoping to hook up with chicks.

 

[Groovy]

Girls are biologiclly programed to be attracted to guys who are confident and relaxed. (Thank you forums for teaching me this.) If you have good body languege, aren't nervous, if your voice is smooth and not cracking (that happens when you are anxious) then you can't help but to attract girls. Don't allow yourself to think you are "naturally messed up" when it comes to girls. You are a guy. Girls are attracted to guys. Lol. You're in the DJ forum, I would kind of expect you guys to think different, but I don't blame you at all...! It's messed up, but it's very common... These ideas are common in many places. If we are confused and not very well informed we'll be vunerable to thinking these things. Some people just don't know better... Fine, is it really totally their fault? But girls LOVE it when guys are confident. They'll pick up on your aura and be influenced by it.

If you are nervous right now tho, screw that, who cares if you're not getting girls for now. You'll do in the future. Be a little patient... Just because you don't have control over your emotions yet, doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything, and you will in the future, that kind of stuff takes time. Girls don't think that kind of stuff is attractive (being nervous) but if girls don't like you, nevermind, you'll have plenty of them in the future... And just because you're kind of anxious around girls that doesn't mean you're less of a person... It happened to the best, that is for sure.

Just remember that you only think you're "messed up when it comes to girls" if you choose to. You can believe otherwise!

If you are doing stuff just to attract girls, be careful about that. Don't act, "fake" confidence to get girls... Really be confident! And if some girl doesn't like you, fine. Just find another one. There isn't "one" that is ment for you. There are millions. Don't seek approval, thats another thing that many people come here and start doing. As soon as they know that confidence in attractive, they fake it to get girls. That's cool for some people I guess, if that is your goal, but I don't agree... Some guys say "fake it till you make it" but I don't agree necessaraly... Different people belieave in different stuff I guess, maybe that is really the most helpful advice to someone, who knows? But with that advice I really agree: "Try going out to have fun instead of hoping to hook up with chicks." Very good advice here imo.

Ps: If you're seeking approval women will know it and be turned off.

 

[Scion]

I'd stay away from most of that PUA stuff. Check out the Book of Pook in my sig, that's all you need really.

I agree with Chromeo. Don't make women out to be perfect, angel-like creatures.

Work on your body and all that shit aswell, muscular body, good posture, nice haircut, etc.

Lol, well I'm very aware that women aren't angelic creatures, most of them are sluts. Unfortunately that knowledge doesn't cause women to want to jump on my ****. I've tried for years and frankly I've gotten tired of trying and worrying about women. It does frustrate me when I'm told I'm sexy, cute, or hot but they same women who tell me this then go and ignore me.

 

[RedZone]

Things will change...all because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't happen ever. Just got to stick with it. What's funny is that one day you'll look back at the struggle and realize that it's one of the best parts of your life...You get to learn that you have what it takes to overcome whatever is in your way. And in a sick way it's enjoyable because you feel the pain without that you cant really enjoy happiness.

 

[corrector]

Putting sh!t down straight and honest, I have embedded myself for 3 yrs with countless game articles, books, self-help stuff, meditation, epiphanies, etc and I still am not getting any girls. I mean, does this only happen to me? I am still nervous and don't seem to do "right" things with girls to get em.

Well, I personally think that too much information without a focus can be detrimental. I'm coming to believe each material is a whole "world" in itself and you have to focus on one of them at a time otherwise you are all over the place and nothing gets done.

For example, I'm looking at "Make Woman Laugh". I have bought and downloaded some materials here and there. I read something that made me think. If you believe you "should" do something, you'll never get around to doing it. If you believe you "must" do something by a deadline or else, chances are you'll do it.

So, I'm going to decide whether I'm going to devote the next while to learning to make woman laugh and be a funny guy. There are tonnes of books out there that I'm pitched by, and books that I have. I figure, if you pick an area, focus on it and get good at it, then you'll feel like you made an accomplishment.

For example -- if I decide to focus on "Make Women Laugh", then obviously, the end result is that if I can make a woman laugh, then that's a focused social accomplishment. (i.e. learning to make someone like you and be at ease rather than defensive). Then I can move on to try out other things.

I am seriously believing (half-jokingly) that maybe some type of spiritual leader or godly man who will set the course of this fvcked up world in right way will be born between me and my future wife or some sh!t; and maybe that's why God has been c0ck-blocking me the whole time haha jkjk.

The Bible calls this person the anti-christ. As sentiment goes against the nation of Israel, and we are seeing a more united world, we are getting closer to the end. The only escape is if you are raptured away then you don't have to go through the 'Great Tribulation'. Money won't mean anything and if you don't have the 666 mark, you won't be able to buy and sell, and will be killed if you don't worship the image of the beast.

If God is "c0ckblocking" you, then you have a sence that what you are doing is wrong. Perhaps you should look at Jesus rather than women. Break the pedistle look to God who created women, not to a creation of mortal woman.

Nah, but really, I see my brother (sibling) hooking up chicks with ease and is never nervous, but always confident and surrounded by people that think he's cool. You know when you meet or see "that" man and you can't explain why, but you know he's cool and is a real man?

So, you can't blame genetics because your brother has the same genes you do. Why are you so the same, biologically, and yet so different?

I have struggled a long time and after getting shot down at bar again yesterday, I am thinking "WTF", maybe I am just a dumba$$ who doesn't get it or some divinity is majorly c0ck-blocking me. I don't know guys... What should a guy like me do

People always seem to blame God when things do not go their way. Why don't you pray and ask God to reveal Himself to you.

 

[SoldMySoul]

Things will change...all because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't happen ever. Just got to stick with it. What's funny is that one day you'll look back at the struggle and realize that it's one of the best parts of your life...You get to learn that you have what it takes to overcome whatever is in your way. And in a sick way it's enjoyable because you feel the pain without that you cant really enjoy happiness.

Spot fvcking on! I just gave you a rep as there was a ton of information in your small paragraph. Reminds me of the saying that goes something like this, "You quit 5 minutes before the thing happens or miracle happens...." $hit, I cannot remember how it exactly goes, but still YOU put it down for the fellows without ripping to shreds. Reminds me how this forum used to be.

 

[btownbuck2012]

You said that you've "embedded" yourself in a lot of self help material over the past 3 years BUT have you been out APPLYING it? Have you been setting goals for yourself? It seems to me that after 3 years of doing this stuff you should have seen some results by now.

Really ask yourself how hard you've been working on this stuff. Picking up chicks shouldn't be your WHOLE life but if you want to get better at it you've got to put in the EFFORT.

You mentioned that you got shot down at the bar again. Fvck bars dude. They suck. Try pushing your comfort zone and going to the mall or Target or something like that. Try setting goals for yourself. Make it a goal to ask out 3 chicks a week. Think about it. There's 52 weeks in a year. If you keep it consistent you will have asked out 156 different women in 1 year. Even if your success rate is 5% (which it won't be) that's still 7 women.

Just get out there and apply it hardcore and see what happens.

good luck

 

[lorekeeper]

Potential is nothing without work.

Work harder.

 

[bam bam]

Scion and Moneyisking seems like u guys are both pretty frustrated... but dont worry dudes! u got your health... the rest you can change with work at it... nothing comes over night gents... it's a quote for a cartoon I saw but it really does make sense in a lot of ways i've found it resonates with life and challenges people go through... "When you can't go on any further and your exhausted your half way there." un-fortunately people dont quiet explain to people how much work is involved in being amazing with women. This isn't a couple years of work and your done or a couple months. This is something that takes 4-6 years of practice to become pretty good at it. Not amazing but pretty good at it. You have to understand that getting good at anything takes lots of time guys. If you want to become a good wrestles your not practicing once a week or twice a week and expecting amazing results. Your going to just wrestle for a couple hours a day 6 days a week. With good coaching some genetics on your side you'll be able to do well after a few years of hard work. Want to know something interesting? Guess how much time you've put into just one particular thing in your life 6x2x50 2 weeks off for rest. U've put in 600 hours in one year of practice to become a good wrestler. Any of you guys who are a bit familiar with the sport one year of training wont get you very far at a provincial level wont even mention national level. Now wrestling only has a small amount of variables in it. Social dynamics has a far greater amount and most people dont put in 2 hours a day picking up women or going on dates. That might be their total for the week. Going to a club doesn't count for this time talk time and interaction time counts. This is a long process buds... Dont get frustrated about these stories you read on this website about guys being amazing with women getting laid all the time. There full of **** most of the time. Most men are terrible with women and the once that are better then average have money or social status of some sort. If you want to be the one that doesn't use money or social status ("gangster" "shooter" "mma fighter") then your going to have to work on it that much harder to get the results your seeking. Most men live a quiet depression never really getting what they want always settling for something that's pretty good but comes along. They never get what they really seek for. She's fun cute not much else is going on in my life so i'll date her. Or the well she's got a bit of a rough face but she wants to **** so ill throw her a bone. You do at the end of the day what makes you happy. But dont frustrate yourself because you read some crap on this site about how these guys are soo smooth and soo amazing with women. I guarantee you 100% that most of the people here talk out of their ass. There are a couple people here that give good advice but how good are they at following their own advice or at getting women? My professor told me something thats stuck with me for a long time... Those who can do those who can't teach or preach.

If I knew your story more I could suggest some stuff for you to try out see how your results work. But all I can say for you is to use ur experiences with women as trail and error. Try something that u like to do and see how it works. Then change a little bit of it around and try it out again. Keep changing and tweaking till you get the results your after. If you get one results by changing something ask yourself well I now know how I can change that response from them. But is it the response I want or not? If yes then your gold keep doing that for all parts of the interaction. If not then try figuring out what could you do to bring that out. Just to go out and do random actions that haven't worked before is no good. You have to monitor yourself closely and see what changes in your approach and also what kind of women your approaches. This is a very simple game but complex. Dont be as result oriented as focusing on understanding how by changing little things about your interactions from approach to phone call or text or whatever it is you want to know about. After a while you'll learn patterns and start to see things clearer. Then your results will start to gradually show. Once your past that stage you have some basic primitive idea of how to go about meeting women picking them up and getting laid or in a relationship. But that's basic stuff after that the fun stuff starts you can experiment and start to really **** with peoples heads and try getting three sums out of girls who aren't bi-sexual. Or whatever tickles your fancy I suppose. Any how hope this helps if you need any other specific info you can shoot me a msg... both of you... i'll try to help if I can... But dont get discourage gents... it's work like anything else... you wanna be a good musician it's not over night that it happens. Takes years of work.

 

[Nygard]

Like Bam Bam said in his amazing reply, you lost the lucky lottery, now you have to pay the price, and the price is over 5 to 6 years of hard work to get decent.

If you really plan on plowing through, do yourself a favour don't read Roissy's blog until you're well over the other side. While I reckon that his writing is very good and it's mostly true, it will only drag you down and reinforce a negative mindset. That's pretty much what happened to me and I pretty much took myself out of the gene pool.

 

[moneyisking]

Thanks guys.

Just to post my gibbers, I am a kind of guy who thinks that so called "inner game" (aka attitude, mentality, core, whatever) is much much important than anything exterior.

For example, say you're in a University class with 200 people and professor makes everyone stand up one by one to introduce themselves. When you can get up and very confidently introduce yourself, I would say you're very confident (I normally feel nervous and shake inside). This is small example that can be reflected to a situation with a girl.

I most of the time "feel" different inside when I am talking to just a dude or a hot girl. I want to feel comfortable when I am talking to a hot chick as when I talk to a dude, but it's not happening sadly.

Man, I really wish that this is inner game thing is just settled for once and I can finally be my whole-self and my true self whenever I am talking with a girl, b/c truly fellas, we know every single guy is different, but if he is confident (does not feel shaken, not nervous, feeling like a ROCK), then no matter what his skill in game is, he will get a girl. It's usually b/c he is not of the above positive feelings inside, he doesn't get a girl. I wish I would be feeling like those positive feelings all the time.

 

[Huffman]

There's a lot of BLAH BLAH going on in this forum, and you've probably read it all.

YOUR ANSWER: if you keep doing what you do, then you're gonna get the same results (=no results). Try something different. Throw it all to hell. See where you end up. You sound like you need a break.

 

[Captain]

Get out there and PRACTICE. That's what's holding you back. Get the fvck out of your comfort zone.

 

[kingsam]

guys message me who want prime advice on this sh!t... i got some reallly really good sh!t but im not going to post it on here why? because im not that nice and its going to cost you some of your dignity to me to get it, get some kind of value out of it.. me i know ill get laid again soon enough i've banged over 12 girls and before i fully realized how to fvck close have still hooked up with over 35 proof is in the pudding read between the lines

OMFG do you want a medal...

nice EGO, drop it, a natural doesnt have such a big ego

 

[Asasione]

Don't know dude. I'm the same way and I'm almost ready to just throw in the towel as far as women are concerned. Maybe there are just guys that aren't capable of being successful with women. I've decided to stop making choices in my life that would be a benefit to a future family (since I won't have one) and just make choices that make me happy.

This is the most depressing post I've EVER read. Your loser mentality is so deeply ingrained that I don't think anything anyone tells you or that you read will change that frame. How do you honestly plan your life around an area that's a challenge and claim you've tried everything.

Your mentality is fvcked up and you NEED to change it, no DJ technique will work with poisonous thoughts and expectations in your mind, your sabotaging your interactions with negative subconcious thoughts and until you hit rock bottom and stop giving a damn what anyone thinks or you make an effort to work on your inner game nothing will work.

You've heard it over and over it's not what you say its HOW you say it. You might be talking in a weak defeated way without knowing it because of how you think. Change your thinking which IME is hard as hell or you'll get what you've always gotten

 

[Scion]

This is the most depressing post I've EVER read. Your loser mentality is so deeply ingrained that I don't think anything anyone tells you or that you read will change that frame. How do you honestly plan your life around an area that's a challenge and claim you've tried everything.

Your mentality is fvcked up and you NEED to change it, no DJ technique with poisonous thoughts and expectations in your mind, your sabotaging your interactions with negative subconcious and until you hit rock bottom and stop giving a damn what anyone thinks or you make an effort to work on your inner game nothing will work.

You've heard it over and over it's not what you say its HOW you say it. You might be talking in a weak defeated way without knowing it because of how you think. Change your thinking which IME is hard as hell or you'll get what you've always gotten

Meh, I'm 26 years old, I've always had no luck with women. Their treatment of me has proven that I'm not desirable as a mate, even though I've been lying to myself saying otherwise. I've just started to accept it, some guys will never have any interaction with women. It's pretty much impossible to fix what the last 26 years has done to me, it would be incredibly hard and I don't think sex would be worth the trouble (I've completely given up on the idea of having a family). Just gonna say 1 thing, most of you guys don't know what it's like to spend your entire life as if women are repelled by you.

 

[2crudedudes]

First of all, this stuff doesn't work magically. There are a lot of changes in your mind and lifestyle that need to occur before you see results. Depending on how dedicated you are to making this happen will be how long it takes for you to really catch on.

3 years may or may not be a long time, depending on how much you've actually learned, and more importantly, how much you actually do. Just reading this stuff isn't gonna make you instantly more attractive. You have to go through the practice stages until you have it down pat.

 

[Asasione]

Meh, I'm 26 years old, I've always had no luck with women. Their treatment of me has proven that I'm not desirable as a mate, even though I've been lying to myself saying otherwise. I've just started to accept it, some guys will never have any interaction with women. It's pretty much impossible to fix what the last 26 years has done to me, it would be incredibly hard and I don't think sex would be worth the trouble (I've completely given up on the idea of having a family). Just gonna say 1 thing, most of you guys don't know what it's like to spend your entire life as if women are repelled by you.

You have to have a blind belief its true, whether its true or not that your desirable. I honestly believe women would be lucky to be with me and they have to work to get anything physical from me. I don't tell myself this, I know it as a fact and women treat me in accordance with my beliefs because I'm congruent in my behavior.

Spend your time working on your thought patterns, try seeing the positive in everything, try finding an interest in what's around you, try finding humor in what happens around you, try having fun and being happy on your own. People gravitate towards interesting fun people. Forget women for now and work on yourself, you need a workable foundation because you already know outer game. You definitely haven't tried everything