What if I begin to question or doubt the Don Juan method?

[blue11199]

I know all the advice here is tried and true. I know gaming is like learning to ride a bike. In the beginning you fall a number of times, but you get back up and keep practicing. I know getting girls is just a numbers game, and, when it comes to rejection, I shouldn't take it personally. Just let the chips fall where they may.

But, after a number of rejections, a part of me deep inside starts to question and doubt the Don Juan way. How do I deal with this doubt inside of me? I feel like maybe the Don Juan way is not the optimal, ideal way to get girls. I feel like I have it all wrong and should be more down to earth with girls. Maybe I should treat girls like I treat my normal friends. Be kind, patient, and understanding.

Please help me regain faith in the system, because the system sure does require a GREAT deal of faith and confidence, since you guys always say that confidence comes from within and not from validation by external successes with girls.

What if the Don Juan way is just theory that may be flawed?

 

[katatonia]

I feel like I have it all wrong and should be more down to earth with girls. Maybe I should treat girls like I treat my normal friends. Be kind, patient, and understanding.

Try that bullsh!t and see how you go. :nono:

 

[1337]

its only natural for your mind to doubt the dj way after rejection. Not every girl is gonna say yes to you, just like you won't say yes to every girl. Its not bad either.

 

[Murse]

If you are starting out and are new to this there is a trend. Your game will get worse than your AFC days before it gets better again, trending upward to a point you will think you have ****ing spider man senses when it comes to social interaction with woman.

 

[blue11199]

don't most normal relationships start out as friendship and escalate to intimacy with time as both ppl get to know each other better? i feel like the don juan method rushes things too fast, which not all "good" girls want. im talking about educated girls with a conservative upbringing, not liberal girls who always go out to clubs and look for excitement

 

[CaptainJ]

don't most normal relationships start out as friendship and escalate to intimacy with time as both ppl get to know each other better? i feel like the don juan method rushes things too fast, which not all "good" girls want.

Yes it does... In Friends.

But Friends is not the real life. It's impossible for a man and a woman to be friends and be sexually attracted to each other, they are polar opposites.

"Good" girls as you call them, want to be swept off their feet by a MAN, not by some supplicating wuss who tries to sail a friendship into her pants. There is no Don Juan method anyway, it's just called BEING A MAN.

Act like a man, that is all a girl asks of you, Be a Man and everything falls into place.

 

[blue11199]

yea, but i question how QUICKLY a MAN should sweep an highly educated girl off her feet. can't a smart, educated girl easily sense you're just a player if you start flirting with her right off the bat? doesnt flirting with educated girls trigger in their mind "ugh this guy is just another player looking for a one night fling. i'm better and smarter than that. my parents taught me better. next"

 

[Exhumed]

No, it triggers "Ooh he's flirting with me, I'm sexually attracted to him" or "Eww I'm not interested in him."

I think a lot of girls are looking for a one night fling with a player, they don't say this because it would sound slutty, but if she's into you she will try to make it happen without feeling like a slut. Like I was going with this girl to see a movie with her and her friends, I had known her for less than a day, and while she was waiting in line she thought up some kind of excuse to go back to her dorm and fvck...then after doing everything else right I failed to escalate. But that's beside the point

 

[horaholic]

yea, but i question how QUICKLY a MAN should sweep an highly educated girl off her feet. can't a smart, educated girl easily sense you're just a player if you start flirting with her right off the bat? doesnt flirting with educated girls trigger in their mind "ugh this guy is just another player looking for a one night fling. i'm better and smarter than that. my parents taught me better. next"

Do you think educated girls dont want to get laid or something? We're not tricking the girls to sleep with us, we are trying to appeal to their femininity. Intelligence has nothing to do with it. Girls think with their emotions, no matter how educated she is. Actually, you'd hope she's smart enough to know whats going on when you are flirting with her. Besides, if she's so frickin 'smart,' she'd know how good of a catch you are anyway, instead of banging losers like they all do.

All girls can spot a player, but let their emotions get the best of them, and convince themselves that he's not, or that she can change him.

The only drawback to gaming an educated woman would be if you couldnt stimulate her mind enough, or you didnt have enough status that being educated could bring. Both of which, can be worked around.

With ALL girls, you need to strike while the iron is hot. Sure there are occasions, where you dont hook up for a long time after you've known each other, but these are usually cases where it 'just happens.' In other words: after the guy that beat you to the punch is done with her, and the timing just happens to be right. If you are seducing a girl, you need to be quick about it. That doesnt mean you have to fvck her on the first date, but if it isnt at least always moving forward, you need to move on ASAP.

 

[blue11199]

thanks a million everyone. all the feedback really helped, and yea you guys are dead-on. i got my mojo back thanks to you guys, and i am forever grateful lol

 

[sodbuster]

only about 1 in 100 will "DO" a friend,just enough to keep AFC's hopefull. Most times,they want a total stranger that they can imagine is perfect for them. The woman I married and I had a date on New Years day[only talked for about 2 hours before,but she wanted me]. I was hungover and wrung out from a night of bedroom acrobatics the night before. Because I didn't care about the outcome of the date,she almost tried to rape me. I wasn't PLAYING hard to get, I was.

I'm divorced now, I didn't qualify her well enough[thinking with my little head].

 

[thedude4242]

captain j- you say good girls want to be swept off their feet. define how this is done or how you would go about it please. thanks.

 

[drak_ool]

the Game is not a method, it's a state of mind. So long as you try to apply technics you learn here without first internalizing the basics of seduction, attraction and self-improvement, you will not be successful.

And ya, as far as your suggested approach, a bunch of posters told you to go ahead and try it, see how well that works. But you can save yoursefl the trouble, really, it has been field tested millions of times by afc's around the world, with the same unanimous result in the end: FAIL

 

[Buddha_Mind]

I dig this thread and these responses. There definitely is a malleable nature to most things in life, and absolutes are rare.

There are many ways to get good with girls. I do find this forum helpful, as pointing out some big psychological triggers for women -- and in some ways, this is sociology or basic psychology. There are certain perceptions and attitudes that are common with women -- and by taking time to understand these, as males, we can become better with them.

I think ultimately you have to find what works for you. A woman cannot make or break your life. You must stand up for yourself when being disrespected. And you must work to be a strong human being. It is with internal and external strength that we achieve what we wish -- and this takes hard work and taking risks.

At this point, I am trying to live my life positively. Interact with women in a light and fun way -- and more than anything I am working on myself -- my own abilities to be more attractive and likable. What's wrong with that? It doesn't mean compromising anything -- but it more so means understanding yourself, what you want, and learning to shape the outcomes of social situations with greater insight.

That **** is the magic powers of being human.

Keep growing and working brother. The journey continues.

 

[DonJuan11]

I know all the advice here is tried and true. I know gaming is like learning to ride a bike. In the beginning you fall a number of times, but you get back up and keep practicing. I know getting girls is just a numbers game, and, when it comes to rejection, I shouldn't take it personally. Just let the chips fall where they may.

But, after a number of rejections, a part of me deep inside starts to question and doubt the Don Juan way. How do I deal with this doubt inside of me? I feel like maybe the Don Juan way is not the optimal, ideal way to get girls. I feel like I have it all wrong and should be more down to earth with girls. Maybe I should treat girls like I treat my normal friends. Be kind, patient, and understanding.

Do you have sex with your normal friends?


Please help me regain faith in the system, because the system sure does require a GREAT deal of faith and confidence, since you guys always say that confidence comes from within and not from validation by external successes with girls.

What if the Don Juan way is just theory that may be flawed?

It's not flawed, you just think so because you are not getting the results you want immediately. It takes hard work, patience, understanding, rejection, before you can get results. Everyone wants a quick fix, a quick answer, no one wants to work for anything anymore. You have put time and effort in to it before getting results.

Granted, some guys can sleep with girls in the first 5 minutes of meeting them, while other guys go out with them 5 months and still haven't gotten to third base. The same way some guys don't work very hard and are rich, while other guys work 14 hour days and never have any money. It's a process that takes hard work to achieve, but once you get it, you will feel very happy you worked so hard to get the right result.

You can NEVER EVER give up when things get tough. Always fight on, always push back. If you give up once, you will always quit when things don't instantly go your way.

 

[shyguy32]

First off I like how you associate "educated" girls as being smart enough to pick up on your flirting attempts. Guess what EVERY girl you flirt with thinks you want to sleep with them, it's called a ***** shield. So you just have to smile and flirt and Kino and get through that ***** shield.

Don't think because their "smart" that they have any control over their emotions of being attracted to you. Just go with the flow and it's as much about you wanting to have sex with this chick as it is her. So if you just want to go slow and practice all your techniques then go slow! Noone here is saying you have to sleep with the girl within 5 hours 5 days or 5 months.

And relationships are built on mutual attraction and then that attraction turns into friendship as you spend more time together. But it doesn't start out as friends and then ALL OF A SUDDEN you two are attracted to one another.

 

[blue11199]

Playing devil's advocate here:

What percent of the male population actually resorts to using this website or other dating resource? I bet 90% of my friends have no clue about this website or any other resource on how to pick up girls, yet nearly 100% of the population marries, and the population is still on the rise.

And, how often do you see pick up artists talking to random women in a bookstore? Wouldn't doing this jeopardize your image and reputation in your local community eg. college?

 

[rickyo]

And, how often do you see pick up artists talking to random women in a bookstore? Wouldn't doing this jeopardize your image and reputation in your local community eg. college?

Yeah, is this right here, or is this concept of reputation all in ones head? And do guys seriously pick up chicks at the mall, or at a bookstore, or anywhere else?

Fact, where do guys actually pick up chicks? Is it all college for most guys?

 

[shyguy32]

Blue, probably 95% of your friends no nothing about this website or any other website like it. And yes we call marrying and effing, keeping the human race alive.

What this website and the ones like it do is give you some tools to use to try and increase your chances to succeed with women. But really if you're around the PUA community enough and you read enough of the articles (which I've read many articles). But what it really teaches you is how to be a better YOU, someone fun and exciting.

To me and I'm sure many other people will chime in if they read what I'm saying. But I've read self help books, I've read PUA books and I've read these forums and all they're really trying to do is make you a better person to attract people to you. You're looking at all this as "tricking" women into liking you and all that says to me is that you don't believe in yourself. You're still asking yourself "what if she really finds out who I am instead of all these tricks I'm using on her".

Well here is how you must look at this, your giving her the opportunity to get to know you, because if you hadn't used the techniques that your learning here then you might not have started the conversation with her in the first place.

If i said "Hey Blue I want you to start a garden and grow me some vegetables". If you knew nothing about gardening wouldn't you want me to give you some tools to plow the ground, some seeds to grow the veggies?

 

[blue11199]

yea ill admit it, i recently got rejected and didn't take it so well. i tried acting like the don juan, and i failed because like you guys say, its about becoming a better person, not tricking a girl. im still a wuss deep inside. ill admit it

but my questions are still legit