What I believe to be, by far, the hardest thing about cold approaches

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Smashing is a priority. I have put up a solid lifetime notch count in part because I prioritize smashing.

However, I seek interactions beyond solely smashing. I like to smash more than most but I also like extended interactions.

When I approach, I am seeking a sustainable, extended interaction with a woman. Some might call that a longer term partner.

I don't typically look for pump n dump. I prefer longer term sex to shorter term sex.

But, are you looking for monogamy with this long/short term partner?

All things equal, yeah, if your approaches are more monogamous-relationship oriented, then sure...you gotta spend X amount of time with Y woman.

Such relationships goes beyond sex.

But, that aside...nah, 30 seconds is enough.

 

[SW15]

are you looking for monogamy with this long/short term partner?

The Only 9 Options for Men as They Age - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones As I’ve discussed before, most men, even Alpha Males, have no intention on being players for the rest of their lives. At some point, even the horniest players will want to “settle down” in some form or fashion. Today I’m going to...

alphamale20.com

My preferred relationship model from this framework is Option 6, which is serial monogamy. I generally prefer extended monogamous relationships but don't expect marriage. Traditional monogamous marriage is Option 1 from this framework and likely the worst option in a Western nation. Option 1 is the option that the typical blue pill ideology beta male who doesn't read forums like SoSuave or pay attention to content from creators like Rollo and Fresh & Fit would follow.

Over the years, I have varied in preference between Option 6 and Option 3. More often, I have been pursuing Option 6.

Options 7-9 are poly-based relationships. That blogger is more of a proponent of poly relationships than I am. I don't agree with his takes on poly stuff, but he does have some good thought framework articles.

if your approaches are more monogamous-relationship oriented, then sure...you gotta spend X amount of time with Y woman.

Most of my approaches would be like this.

 

[GoodMan32]

There has been less of a culture of approaching strangers in the 2010s-2020s than there was in the late 1990s-2000s when both of us were younger.

I can notice a difference in 2024-2025 as compared to 2011-2012 on approaching. 2011-2012 was a few years after the smartphone got to market.

Approaching women in non-bar venues takes on a variety of forms. It can be done in gyms/fitness classes, indoor retail venues (grocery stores, malls, bookstores), or outdoors.



Plenty of guys do something like what you did at Whole Foods. Guys will linger around grocery store while they are grocery shopping themselves seeking approaches.

Grocery store approaching is low percentage as well.



In Dallas (a city with limited pedestrian foot traffic), women are well known for using headphones/earbuds to discourage approaching outdoors. While Dallas has limited foot traffic, it has some parks and recreational walking paths. Women use headphones/earbuds at those places.

Additionally, women use headphones/earbuds at their gyms to discourage approaches as well.

This has gotten more commonplace over time.

When I was in college (2001-2005), the iPod was new. The iPod was released in Fall 2001, in my freshman year of college. In roughly 2003 (the mid-point of me being in college), I could go to my college's on campus gym and only the hottest 10-20% of women would be wearing headphones/earbuds at the gym. By the early 2010s, that percentage was over 80% of women at gyms catering to working age people.

It's interesting how they wear earbuds to discourage approaches, yet then they have the audacity to complain "How come men don't approach me anymore?"

It's like they fail to make the following connection: In addition to discouraging approaches from men who aren't your type, earbuds also discourage approaches from men who are your type.

 

[SW15]

It's interesting how they wear earbuds to discourage approaches, yet then they have the audacity to complain "How come men don't approach me anymore?"

It's like they fail to make the following connection: In addition to discouraging approaches from men who aren't your type, earbuds also discourage approaches from men who are your type.

The typical Millennial and Gen Z woman is somewhat anti-social. While some might occasionally have the audacity to complain about a lack of approaches, I don't think it's that big of a deal to them.

I think many Millennial/Gen Z women are happy to give up the approaches for men who are their type in exchange for not having to deal with men who aren't their type.

A woman who wear headphones/earbuds to the gym and while walking/running outdoors can still get hit on at the grocery store, mall, or a bookstore where she isn't wearing headphones/earbuds. As long as a woman isn't a shut in, she has enough exposure to the outdoor world to get some approaches.

If a woman is complaining about not getting approaches, then there's something clearly wrong with her day-to-day routine.