What does this mean?

[Murk]

It’s normal to not get hard when you’re new. Countless times I didn’t get laid through nerves.

Stop jerking, keep putting yourself in these positions and build your self confidence. I’ve been there many times back in the day.

This girl is feeling you, pop a viagra and invite her over to bang. Soon before she gets bored.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

What I did at the restaurant is still bothering me. She said make out with me right now so I shouldn't have given a fvck and just kissed her.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

I can't get over it

 

[B0redandl0nely]

What is wrong with me?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What is wrong with me?

Your not talking to enough females.

 

[GrowingPains]

Pop quiz, @B0redandl0nely

You feel a connection with her because...?

A) Is she funny?
B) You guys relate on a lot of things?
C) Because she's the only girl showing you attention?

Do you think there's other people you can connect with like her?

A) Yes, there's 7 billion people in the world
B) No, she's special!

You can't stop thinking about it because...?

A) She's the love of your life
B) She's your only option
C) Your insecurities and ego are making it hard for you to accept your loses
D) Both B and C
E) Both A and-... please don't pick this fvcking answer

I have a challenge for you. Get 5 new people's phone numbers, guys included because we all need bros, and then tell us if you're still thinking about this chick.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Pop quiz, @B0redandl0nely

You feel a connection with her because...?

A) Is she funny?
B) You guys relate on a lot of things?
C) Because she's the only girl showing you attention?

Do you think there's other people you can connect with like her?

A) Yes, there's 7 billion people in the world
B) No, she's special!

You can't stop thinking about it because...?

A) She's the love of your life
B) She's your only option
C) Your insecurities and ego are making it hard for you to accept your loses
D) Both B and C
E) Both A and-... please don't pick this fvcking answer

I have a challenge for you. Get 5 new people's phone numbers, guys included because we all need bros, and then tell us if you're still thinking about this chick.

First question, A and B. Second question, while I acknowledge A is true, I feel B. Third questions, no answers apply quite yet but I could see myself loving this girl over time. I really like her.

 

[GrowingPains]

First question, A and B. Second question, while I acknowledge A is true, I feel B. Third questions, no answers apply quite yet but I could see myself loving this girl over time. I really like her.

My Answer key looks like this:


1. You feel a connection with her because...?

C) Because she's the only girl showing you attention?

2. Do you think there's other people you can connect with like her?

A) Yes, there's 7 billion people in the world

3. You can't stop thinking about it because...?

D) Both B and C
[B) She's your only option
C) Your insecurities and ego are making it hard for you to accept your loses]

But you answered differently. So let's explore that.

I'll ask you why you chose the answers you did then explain why I feel the answer I selected is correct. Others reading this, feel free to chime in.

1. Are you speaking to other women? Do you think you can connect with other women in a similar way? If she never responded to you again, how would that make you feel and why?

2. She's special to you, why? You've known her for how long? What has she done to make you feel like she's special? Other women can't offer this? If they can, is she still special?

3. Do you think if you had 5 other women talking to you, you'd be worried about your losses with this one? If you had 1 baseball to throw at a stack of bottles at the fair you would probably put a lot of thought into it right? You would be trying to make the most of that one shot and you'd be sad if you messed up the throw because you only had one. But what if you had 5 balls, would that change your mindset? You'd probably through more freely, with less worry, and you'd probably land a couple throws too. What do you think? Does the analogy reveal anything about the situation we're analyzing?

Challenge accepted or nah?

 

[B0redandl0nely]

My Answer key looks like this:


1. You feel a connection with her because...?

C) Because she's the only girl showing you attention?

2. Do you think there's other people you can connect with like her?

A) Yes, there's 7 billion people in the world

3. You can't stop thinking about it because...?

D) Both B and C
[B) She's your only option
C) Your insecurities and ego are making it hard for you to accept your loses]

But you answered differently. So let's explore that.

I'll ask you why you chose the answers you did then explain why I feel the answer I selected is correct. Others reading this, feel free to chime in.

1. Are you speaking to other women? Do you think you can connect with other women in a similar way? If she never responded to you again, how would that make you feel and why?

2. She's special to you, why? You've known her for how long? What has she done to make you feel like she's special? Other women can't offer this? If they can, is she still special?

3. Do you think if you had 5 other women talking to you, you'd be worried about your losses with this one? If you had 1 baseball to throw at a stack of bottles at the fair you would probably put a lot of thought into it right? You would be trying to make the most of that one shot and you'd be sad if you messed up the throw because you only had one. But what if you had 5 balls, would that change your mindset? You'd probably through more freely, with less worry, and you'd probably land a couple throws too. What do you think? Does the analogy reveal anything about the situation we're analyzing?

Challenge accepted or nah?

I admit I'm prone to oneitis but I do feel like I can connect with other women in a similar way even though I have a hard time relating to people in general. If she never responded to me again, I would be very upset because I like her a lot. She's special to me because she's not turned off by my quirks like most girls. I havent known her that long but long enough to judge her character. I'm sure other women can offer this but she's still special. I know abundance is good but my feelings for this particular girl are strong. That's why I don't understand why I fvcked up in the restaurant and didn't kiss her when she said "make out with me." I feel like I fvcked up and almost put myself in the friend zone like a phaggot by turning down her advance. "PDA much," what the fvck was that? I've never done anything like that before. Nevertheless, I say MY answers to your pop quiz are accurate.

 

[B0redandl0nely]

However, I am still open to other women

 

[GrowingPains]

I admit I'm prone to oneitis but I do feel like I can connect with other women in a similar way even though I have a hard time relating to people in general. If she never responded to me again, I would be very upset because I like her a lot. She's special to me because she's not turned off by my quirks like most girls. I havent known her that long but long enough to judge her character. I'm sure other women can offer this but she's still special. I know abundance is good but my feelings for this particular girl are strong. That's why I don't understand why I fvcked up in the restaurant and didn't kiss her when she said "make out with me." I feel like I fvcked up and almost put myself in the friend zone like a phaggot by turning down her advance. "PDA much," what the fvck was that? I've never done anything like that before. Nevertheless, I say MY answers to your pop quiz are accurate.

There's a lot of contradiction in what you're saying. It feels like you're on the edge of accepting the truth but still wanting to live in your reality - because it's easier that way. Try separating the reality you're creating for yourself and the one that actually governs what's going on around you. It's like you know you're starting to catch oneitus but you want to get sick lol. You've posted about this one girl so many times...

Most people will be turned off by your quirks, it's not just her. That's why dating and making friends in general is difficult. This is a fact, it has nothing to do with you. You can improve yourself to be more likable but at the end of the day, it's not about that. It's about being the best you, and people can take it or leave it.

You didn't answer the third question. You started to but then went back into worrying about her. The third question is meant to tell you that abundance is the answer to your problems. It is fine to feel strongly towards one of your prospects, but you are only setting yourself up for failure by focusing on one prospect. She will test you. She will confuse you. This will eventually end. Having abundance allows the effects of each of those things to minimize and for you to be indifferent when they happen.

I would suggest you don't put all of your eggs in one basket. And to stop harping on the past. You've said the same thing many times, internalize it and move on if you really want to change. Everyone makes mistakes. Those who learn from it and take action are the ones that are better for it. Failures are only failures if you don't learn from them.

Good luck,

GP

 

[B0redandl0nely]

Got another girl's number in class and she wants to meet me in the city next weekend.

 

[GrowingPains]

Got another girl's number in class and she wants to meet me in the city next weekend.

Awesome, do it again.

But since you're the kind of guy who over thinks things... I'd avoid getting girls numbers in class. You need to be able to focus on your work. Remember how this affected you with the other girl? You couldn't even focus enough to do work. Imagine if the source of your worries is in your class.

Don't sh!t where you eat, as they say.

 

[marmel75]

What is wrong with me?

A lot apparently

 

[Skittles76]

You're all getting trolled by this person

 

[sosousage]

wtf "PDA much" means

 

[B0redandl0nely]

wtf "PDA much" means

I don't know that's why it upset me so much. I guess I was self conscious about making out in a restaurant but I think I was a pvssy and I gave off a gay friend vibe by not at least giving her a quick kiss in that moment. I bugged out in the restaurant when I realized what I did.

 

[sosousage]

I don't know that's why it upset me so much. I guess I was self conscious about making out in a restaurant but I think I was a pvssy and I gave off a gay friend vibe by not at least giving her a quick kiss in that moment. I bugged out in the restaurant when I realized what I did.

its cool man. i also dont like PDA in places like restaurant

PS nothing wrong being gay

 

[B0redandl0nely]

its cool man. i also dont like PDA in places like restaurant

PS nothing wrong being gay

I'm not. But you think I am?

 

[RickTheToad]

I fear for humanities future if the current generation's males are like the op and BigDave. Scary.