What Do You Think?

[ketostix]

If I was you, I would be p!ssed off too. That is just a really bad judgement call on her part.

Its her birthday weekend... she has a boyfriend who sent her roses... and she is going to the strip club with a bunch of random DUDES? Without you! Hell to the NAW, is whats up with that scenario.

If the shoe was on MY foot (and I am a girl), I would be OK with my boyfriend going to the strip joint with his BOYS (on one of the days leading up to the bday). I wouldn't be ecstatic, but I'd be ok with it. But some random chicks from work, without me? ...Nuh-uh.

Its just NOT COOL. You know? Not a great idea. It shows a lack of CONSIDERATION and respect.

Kick that h0 to the curb.

Tell her that she just isn't the girl for you. And to have a happy birthday. I am more than sure that one of the random guys taking her to the strip club will make her feel better... let him have her. His problem now. Not yours.

Wow the girls iqqi and penkitten are on it. I usually don't like what Iqqi says but she seems to know what she's talking about here.

This girl has a history of hanging with other guys and doing who knows what with them. I don't think she's going to stop anytime soon. I wouldn't consider her long term relationship material. I'm surprised you sent her flowers.

I guess the real test is does she come home after the strip club to be serviced by you?

 

[DJ React]

Originally if i didn't want her to go, i would have said "i made reservations at some fancy restaurant to celebrate, but if you would rather go out with your friends thats cool we can do it some other time..."

Based on her reaction to that i would make the decision to keep or let her go. However she pretty much told you that she didnt want you around her guy friends. If that is the case it is about time to next her. She is definitely not the D.D. on her birthday so dont give her the enjoyment of thinking you are going to stick around while she goes out if you don't like it.

NEXT

 

[amnbyrd]

Well around midnite she txted me again saying"So are we broken up now". I didnt bother replying to this. That and now its noon the next day and she still isnt back. That combined with the last txt makes me think that she got a lil too crazy and ended up spending the night with who knows who.
Screw it

 

[3countriesPlan]

you sure you can walk away? I used to post on this site a few years back about a girl who pulled crap just like this. get out man.. do it now or waste another few months or years....

 

[Interceptor]

byrd, you need to learn from this.
So call her, and aks her what went down.

Don't act paranoid, or possessive.
Ask her what happened.

IF you don't like, tell her so.
Don't be wishy washy.
Tell her what you expect in a relationship.
Give her the "shoe on the other foot" secenario.
Ask her point blank, "What if I went out to the strip clubs and left you at home? Even though you're MY gf now?"
"Would be the way you want me to treat you?"
See what she says.


Don't be a chicken about it. And just run away like you always do.
You're not asserting your personal boundaries. You're not asserting your preferences and likes and dislikes. So she feels ,. you don't CARE.
Since you're NOT SAYING ANYTHING, she feels like "fvck it, he doesn't care anyway. About me, or anything I do, so fvck it."That is the message you're sending when you disconnect like this.

By not asserting yourself , you come across as weak and non confrontational. Like you don't have the maturity or the tools to confront her and take control and put her in her place.

Don't lecture her.
Don't dictate to her.
Maintain your control.


Be cool about it. Non judgemental. Don't go off on a rant.

And ultimately,if you don't really give a damn about this chick, then cut her loose. Do yourself and her a favor....

 

[amnbyrd]

Well earlier today she txted me like nothing was wrong and asked if I wanted to go to the movies. I didnt respond and she was like"please dont do this. You know how I feel about you". I pretty much told her how it was and that she made her decision when she left last night. Things pretty much ended with her saying she still loves me but that shes not gonna "beg" for me. She said she didnt do anything wrong and stood by the disignated driver story. I feel really down right now but I know Im better off without her. Still sucks though

 

[aliasguy]

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I think you've done just fine.

I wouldn't explain, or complain, at all to her anymore.

I would just not answer her calls. Don't talk to her unless you HAVE to. And if you do, be polite, but "short." Not so much that you look hurt, but that you have no time for her and her bad behavior.


The "i love you, but I'm not gonna beg for you" crap is just THAT ..... CRAP.

Don't fall back in now. You've sorta made your bed. If you ever take her back, she'll walk all over you. Forever.

You sound like you're ok about this, but yeah, it DOES suck.

Trudge on, man.

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[Maxtro]

Interesting thread. Unfortunately I've never been in a LTR so I can only speculate. From what I understand it seems that amnbyrd is fine with letting the relationship fall apart? And the only communication since the "incident" was texts?

 

[stylemaker]

I second that if she loves you she would beg anyways. Two incongruent ideas.
"i love you, but I'm not gonna beg for you" CRAP. I love you so I can turn this around on you and Im not going to beg for you because you'd get me twice.

 

[DonJuan11]

Its Friday and my gfs birthday is Sunday. I had roses sent to her work.
Well tonight she said some guys in her shop are taking her out to this strip club to celebrate. She said another girls goin to. Well to be honest the idea of this bothers me. My question is should I be bothered by this or what??

It's always a good thing when your gf would rather be at a run down strip with some guys rather than you on a Friday night.

You guys get upset at me for saying women have the power in deciding sex and then you get questions like this?

- Should I play rap music with 6 or 7 swears in the car?
- Should I wear jackets from the 80s or the 90s?
- Should I pick her up at 8:30 or 9:00?

 

[amnbyrd]

update: Out of nowhere its 10pm and she txts me saying shes out driving drunk. Me being the caring person I am asks her where she is and I went out looking for her. I called a guy who said shes at the club. WTF? He said shes been hanging out with guys and she was in the bathroom giving some guy head. Thats soo messed up.

 

[Maxtro]

Seems like she got mad and decided to end it. Que Sera, Sera

 

[Potbelly]

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The calls and texts mean almost nothing. You can't tell what they really MEAN. If (A), she's truthful, then all well and good. If (B), she's "covering," then that just sucks, and she's liar and most likely a cheat.

WE DON'T KNOW which is the case. But I have my strong suspicions.

I'm a little concerned about your "regret" comment. What do you plan to do? I don't believe you can work this to your advantage by holding this incident over her head. Going on and on about it changes nothing. You CAN'T proceed by blowing up over this when she gets home, or the next time you see or talk to her. That will do more harm than good.

I'd recommend that you NEVER mention this episode to her again.

Ever.

I would not answer any calls or texts tonight at all. Wait 'till tomorrow, or Monday. Let her sweat it. Based on what she's said tonight, she knows she's "wrong" (if you wanna label it.) Or at least, she knows you are unhappy about it and wants to placate you.

You can't know what's really going on here. I think you should drop it completely. If she starts up about it, and pushes for a conversation, just say you don't want to talk about it. Say, "What's done is done." and just shut up. Don't let her "explain" or go over the events of the night. Maybe truth, maybe lies, who knows, so just don't even listen to it.

Keep your eyes open, and don't let on you're pissed. Don't "punish" her. Don't b*tch about what she did tonight. Just watch closely, and see where your relationship IS, and whether you want to continue in it.

And have a night or two out with others (men or women or both) without "asking" her if you can. Just DO it, don't hide it, but don't crow about it either.


All will be made clear to you soon. Just keep your eyes open.

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Damn sometimes you give the WORST advice. I made bold the only good thing in there.

Man don't listen to this guy...just do what you've been doing. D1tch that b1tch. Seriously, don't do the above. That's some bullsh1t longass dragged on GAME a fvcking WOMAN would do (no offense penkittien/iqqi, but most women will pull this long drawn out bullsh1t).

Seriously bro....OPEN YOUR FVCKING EYES. YOU ARE HER GODDAMN BOYFRIEND. HER BIRTHDAY. SHE IS TAKING YOUR ASS FOR GRANTED BRO. DROP KICK HER TO THE CURB AND DON'T LOOK BACK. SHE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU MAN. YOU DESERVE FVCKIN RESPECT. <---

 

[Potbelly]

update: Out of nowhere its 10pm and she txts me saying shes out driving drunk. Me being the caring person I am asks her where she is and I went out looking for her. I called a guy who said shes at the club. WTF? He said shes been hanging out with guys and she was in the bathroom giving some guy head. Thats soo messed up.

DAMN I POSTED BEFORE I READ THIS. Fvcking knew that ***** was no good.

Bro let this sh1t go and find a better chick man. You had a fvcking wh0re on your hands. Going to a damn strip club (STRIKE ONE) on her BDAY (STRIKE TWO) with DUDES (STRIKE THREE) and you're not invited (AND SHE'S OUT).

 

[penkitten]

i am reminded of an old biz markie song...
oh baby you... you got what i need... but you say hes just a friend... you say hes just a friend...
the moral of this story ...
never go out with a girl that says she only has a friend

 

[amnbyrd]

Last Update: Its now Sunday and she kept txting/calling me saying we really need to talk and all that BS so I just got my number changed.
THE END

 

[Monkey]

NEVER take her back...

Any girl getting drunk then driving around is bad news. Next thing you know you're in the car with her and she ends up killing both of you.

No matter how much she begs NEVER take her back!

 

[iqqi]

Sorry to hear that. glad you got out with your dignity. what a wh0re. why'd you LTR her in the first place?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Her excuse for not inviting you is simply too weak and a huge red flag - She has low interest in you.

A devoted gf would love to have her bf with her to celebrate her birthday.

I have to agree with this.

 

[xdreamz]

sounds to me like she wanted some free time with her girl friends to go out and it made you kind of bothered...its alright she probably means a lot to you. from my experience when you start getting bothered by where she's going and stuff it causes some problems because it communicates weakness. so just learn from your mistakes and be clear