What do you say when she asks about your weekend?

[Latinoman]

I just ask quizzically, "And what exactly did you see in this guy to go out with him in the first place?" This qualifying question tells you what she's all about (is she a professional dater, on the rebound, just confused about what she wants or whatever). Plus it puts a little tidbit in the back of her mind that she's dealing with someone different so she had better pay attention to what she does also.

EXCELLENT POINT!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Latinoman, your post is well-thought, but I can't believe people are still debating Internet versus "real world."

Internet naysayers remind me of people who cling to futile principles...i.e. film is better than VHS, VHS is better than DVD...

Look, at the end of the day, all sarging ends with face-to-face...The Internet is an ideal tool for arranging face-to-face encounters...the benefits of online sarging are too numerous for me to list...I have met many women via online dating sites...educated, sexy, intelligent, etc.

Now, if a guy sits in front of the computer and engages these women in dialogue but never meets them face to face, that's a different story...

Viva The Internet!

Thank you Espi, you hit upon the one simple point that online dating detractors don't get, YOU MEET FACE TO FACE! Unfortunately for most of them, they either could not capture the interest in a woman to get to that point.

They give excuses of not being able to read a woman's facial expressions or body language online. This is the problem with AFCs, they look for a sign and THEN react. They don't drive the interaction themselves. More times than not their conversation skills are lacking and their writing skills are even worse. Women complain about their lack of punctuation or sentence structure all of the time not to forget the non use of spell checkers.

This reminds me of guys who make excuses for not sarging in clubs, that they think that women are just there to get free drinks and to have their ego's stroked. That's true if you're an AFC. Again, if you have the skills to grab their attention and keep it, there's no problem. I said it before and I'll keep saying it, it's a hell of a lot easier to denounce a method than learning the skills necessary to be successful.

Frankly, I have less problems with the things that most guys stumble on like number closing or asking for a date itself. I just trade a couple of emails and tell her that we should meet and she agrees, it's just that simple. I skip over the whole asking for a telephone number because it's a waste of time. The goal is getting a date, not a telephone number. But again that's just my way of thinking. It's a lot less complicated than what a lot of guys would want you to believe.

 

[WestCoaster]

Internet dating is an option, just that. I do it now and then, but not always. I'm back online now -- I'd rather not -- but I'm in a mini-slump, got a few women who were intrigued, got e-mails and am setting up dates. I don't goof around and play the back and forth e-mail game. After one or two exchanges I cut to the chase and set up a date. One gal thought I was moving too quick and wanted to e-mail more, I said no and moved on to others. I'm not wasting time online to find e-mail friends.

I'd prefer finding someone out in the real world, it doesn't always happen so I go on the internet. Honestly, it's one of my last options. Tomorrow I'm going solo on my own (no buddies or wingmen in my town yet) to a big downtown deal with wine, food, and music. Sometimes I do well solo, sometimes I don't, but I figure I'd rather make this attempt in front of live people rather than the internet.

Like the halfback pass in football, the internet is an option, but not the best choice.

* I've had people who married off the internet tell me it's the only way to go ... pleeeeeeeeeeease!

 

[WestCoaster]

I think meeting someone face to face is the best option. Internet is my fall back plan. I find it a bit contrived, "I like coffee and so does my match, gee, let's go out!"

But it's an option, not my first choice. Works for some, not always for me. I'm better meeting someone face to face, in a class, at work, etc.

I wouldn't dismiss the internet since so many people are dating that way these days. But it's not my first or best option.

To each his own.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

My limit is three emails sent...and I don't ask for the tele. number, either...I set up a priming date at the local coffee shop...I've had a few who don't show, but I use the no-show-hoe to my advantage: I email her the next day and apologize for missing our date...women love to be forgotten...

Westcoaster, not sure why you feel the internet is not the best option...I neg, I use C & F...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...just like "the real world."

I've yet to have a true complete "no show." A couple of weeks ago I was on my way to a coffee shop after work to meet a woman and she calls me to tell me that her sitter didn't show up (yeah, I occasionally find a MILF online). But since she had a Marjory high IL and I had put her off for at least a week she invited me to her house (after she had put her little one to bed). I left the next morning at about 4AM (yes, I had bed head).

The thing is I've had the same thing happen with women I've met at school or other places. Sarging women is the same where ever you choose to meet them. If you qualify them well the worse that may happen is that you will have to adjust your plans. A woman, no matter where you've met, will make herself available to you if she's truly interested.

 

[Latinoman]

Internet dating is an option, just that. I do it now and then, but not always. I'm back online now -- I'd rather not -- but I'm in a mini-slump, got a few women who were intrigued, got e-mails and am setting up dates. I don't goof around and play the back and forth e-mail game.

And that's my point exactly. The Internet should be a last resort tool when a man is experiencing a bad slump. I would personally use it IF I was to experience that slump. I kid you no.

But I would NEVER brag and say "The Internet is the same as Real Life" or that "It takes as many skills as real life".

It is a last resort.

And THAT's my point.

 

[Latinoman]

"They give excuses of not being able to read a woman's facial expressions or body language online. "

Francisco...making stuff? Because I never said such a thing. In fact, I personally don't care about women facial expressions or body language. If she feels attraction for me...she is Mine. If she doesn't feel attraction for me, then I don't even bother TRYING. I don't waste time with women.
Instead, I spend valuable time with the woman that deserves it.

Now...my point was more than clear...it is the woman that are not being able to see the man's expression. So...ANY man with some level of rudementary skills should be able to get a woman's attention via the Internet. Heck...for all I know the profile was written by a third person!

It takes more than skills to get a great woman attention in real life. It takes a Life Style. You see? A real "dj" should be able to get a woman's attention even before HE sees her.


And that is MY point.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Francisco...making stuff? Because I never said such a thing.

Oh come on now, you're taking this way too personally. I was giving a general example and NEVER said that you said that. But now I'm curious as to why assumed that I was using you as an example.

Now...my point was more than clear...it is the woman that are not being able to see the man's expression. So...ANY man with some level of rudementary skills should be able to get a woman's attention via the Internet. Heck...for all I know the profile was written by a third person!

You're not too familiar with the Internet Dating posts in this forum are 'ya?

It takes more than skills to get a great woman attention in real life. It takes a Life Style. You see? A real "dj" should be able to get a woman's attention even before HE sees her.

THIS is what the thread is a about. A lifestyle, which means having a life which you are proud of. Which brings us back to the original question of why guys choose to lie about their lifestyles instead of enhancing it? Is a man a DJ just because he lies and embellishes the truth to get a woman?

And that is MY point.

 

[Natch]

THIS is what the thread is a about. A lifestyle, which means having a life which you are proud of. Which brings us back to the original question of why guys choose to lie about their lifestyles instead of enhancing it? Is a man a DJ just because he lies and embellishes the truth to get a woman?

And that is MY point.

Th epoint is bigger than that too , Francisci is bang on point , if your life is boring to talk aboot , don't lie about it , get off your ass and make it interesting.

 

[WestCoaster]

Except Natch, you don't get it. They don't care if your life is "exciting" ... they care if you were with another woman or not. That's all. I've seen boring players get women, and guys without women with all kinds of exciting hobbies get zero women.

Again, the message is lost on the "get a life" theme on this board. Yes, one should get a life for their own good ... women could care less if you have an exciting life or not while you're pursuing them.

They want to know who you were with. The sooner you figure that out, the better you'll be with women.

Once you have the gf/fiance/wife, then you do exciting hobbies together. During the pursuit stage if you act like the lonely bachelor you might as well just kill yourself because you ain't getting any dates.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Speaking for myself, that women I know (both friends and friends with bennies) either ask to hang out with me when I'm out and about or ask me to join them because "I make things interesting for them."

Do they care whether or not I am with another woman? The secure ones don't because they know that my nature is to talk and hang out with women. They know that its the women that can hold my interest as much as I hold interest are the ones that I will see more often.

I've had several women pick up hobbies I enjoy for multiple reasons. But again I enjoy hanging out with active women. This may be the real point here, women who are interesting are interested in interesting men. Ones who don't care are more than likely as interesting as a bowl of Jell-O themselves.

 

[WestCoaster]

Agree Francisco, I don't like boring women either. But if you want to up their interest level by 1,000 percent, mention another gal.

I'm done with this topic ... some get it, some don't.

 

[Latinoman]

Except Natch, you don't get it. They don't care if your life is "exciting" ... they care if you were with another woman or not. That's all. I've seen boring players get women, and guys without women with all kinds of exciting hobbies get zero women.

Again, the message is lost on the "get a life" theme on this board. Yes, one should get a life for their own good ... women could care less if you have an exciting life or not while you're pursuing them.

They want to know who you were with. The sooner you figure that out, the better you'll be with women.

Once you have the gf/fiance/wife, then you do exciting hobbies together. During the pursuit stage if you act like the lonely bachelor you might as well just kill yourself because you ain't getting any dates.

AND THAT is the point and should be the point of this thread.

Sure...a person should have a life for his happiness. But that's not the point (as you pointed out). The point is: Women don't care during the pursuing stages about your exiting life. They care about WHO is with you during those moments.

I will tell you more...even if what you do is sit in the park for 8 hours straight watching birds...as soon as you say, "Well, Saturday...Monique and I went for bird watching in the park. We were there all day." You will notice that she will find THAT more interesting than you saying "I went and climbed Everest peak." Why? Well...it is obvious why.

 

[Latinoman]

Do they care whether or not I am with another woman? The secure ones don't because they know that my nature is to talk and hang out with women.

Dude...when it comes to possible "competition" for the man they want..there is not such a thing as a "secure" woman.

EVERY woman cares if they sense there is another woman competing for the attention of their man. If they don't care, then they don't care for that man.

In fact, women are so competitive against each other that the most secure of them (and most accomplished too) tend to be viciously competitive against each other in the work place...to then see them "nice" in front of each other.

Make no mistake about that.

 

[abdullahshariff]

White lie

They're asking you this question because they want to know who you were with. A couple gals in college told me this and they said, if you say nothing, they think you're boring. If you say I went out with this gal, they become jealous and start fighting for you.

It's a white lie if you didn't go out on a date, so what? No harm, no foul. Just say you went out with this gal ... and accentuate the positive, but be very vague. Say, yeah, we had a great time, she was cool ... and end it there.

What's not given enough credence on this message board or site is always be seen with women, or heard about going out with other women in front of other women. They try harder when they think other gals are moving in on you; if you're a loner, they don't find that attractive.

Tell them you went on a date or dates. ALWAYS throw other women in their face, be it physically in front of them or verbally. Even if you had a bunch of exciting hobbies they'd think it's cool for a second and forget about it. If you said you were on a date, they'd think about it for a long, long time.

Trust me on this, I have experience in doing this and each and every time it's played in my favor ... and I'm pulling the stunt in a couple weeks as I'm going with a friend (who is about a 9, but taken) to a place where this other gal I've dated works. Watch the sparks fly!

I tried this with a girl i was texting But i think it backfired bc she replied: That's great!! How'd it go?

 

[abdullahshariff]

He's trying to meet women and they don't care if he skydived. They want to know who he was with.

Talk it up about other women ... that's what they want to know. They think exciting hobbies are only exciting if they're doing them with you. Most women don't have hobbies and their emotions are tied into meeting men and battling other women for men.

Forget about the exciting hobbies, talk about exciting dates with OTHER women ... even if you're not going. That's the key. I understand this "have your own life" stuff all over this board ad nauseum and I have some pretty interesting hobbies myself.

If you're trying to meet women, f-ck it, they don't care if you bungee jumped off the Empire State building. They are self-obsorbed and they want to know who their competition is.

Tell them you went out with "Christy" even if you didn't and you had a great time. Watch the battle begin.

I tried this with a girl i was texting But i think it backfired bc she replied: That's great!! How'd it go?