What do you say when she asks about your weekend?

[john_1234]

You meet a new girl that you are interested in an you tell her that you have lunch with you ex?? How does that make the the new girl more interested in you? What would make her think that you aren't still into your ex? You guys are lying so much it sounds like you are saying things that's hurting your game.

And you guys are bastardizing "faking it until you make it." It does not mean pretend to be something that you are not, it means emulate the characteristics and qualities that you want to become until it become natural. All you guys are doing are becoming liars.

The sad thing about this is that (smart) women know what you guys are doing. I've been out with women who have gone out with guys that do this and its one of the HUGE things that makes women put up their b1tch shields, they want to block the BS. They think that guys can't help but lie to cover up their shortcomings and that is what you guys are doing. It's sad.

And through all of this, no one has yet come up with a valid reason why they shouldn't go out and actually do the things that they would rather lye about doing. What's up with choosing to do things half @ssed if you do anything at all?

there are weekends when i'm a total bum... playing video games and watching tv. now if a prospect asks how my weekend went, what should i tell her? like i mentioned earlier, i consider myself sincere and i have been that way all my life. b4, i'd be honest about EVERYTHING and tell prospects lines like "oh i didn't do anything over the weekend." I made the decision to stop being so forthright about everything because it never got me anywhere. it took me a long time to realize that w/ new girls, "you don't owe them anything" as westcoaster says. she's not your wife/girlfriend and you're under no obligation... and she isn't either. there are degrees of lying. if someone lies about **** like his career, that he's single even though he's married, etc., i'd consider him a liar. but if someone throws a small lie like "i had lunch w/ an ex" rather than "i played halo all weekend long," i personally don't see anything wrong with that. it's your choice: you can choose to be forthright about everything and risk lowering your value; or you can throw a small lie and maintain it. i've experienced being on both sides and i choose the latter.
and about telling prospects you hanged out w/ an ex, you made me see it from a different angle. but depending on the circumstances, it can work either for or against you; works on girls who already have a strong interest in you that's for sure

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

This thread should be merged into this one or at least referenced.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=101407&highlight=lie

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

there are weekends when i'm a total bum... playing video games and watching tv. now if a prospect asks how my weekend went, what should i tell her? like i mentioned earlier, i consider myself sincere and i have been that way all my life. b4, i'd be honest about EVERYTHING and tell prospects lines like "oh i didn't do anything over the weekend." I made the decision to stop being so forthright about everything because it never got me anywhere. it took me a long time to realize that w/ new girls, "you don't owe them anything" as westcoaster says. she's not your wife/girlfriend and you're under no obligation... and she isn't either. there are degrees of lying. if someone lies about **** like his career, that he's single even though he's married, etc., i'd consider him a liar. but if someone throws a small lie like "i had lunch w/ an ex" rather than "i played halo all weekend long," i personally don't see anything wrong with that.
and about telling prospects you hanged out w/ an ex, you made me see it from a different angle. but depending on the circumstances, it can work either for or against you; works on girls who already have a strong interest in you that's for sure

So you're saying that your life doesn't interest women. Alright, so what happens when a woman actually believes you and your lies, then what? Are you going to give up playing Halo? (which I play too and have had women over to play along with me).

[rant=on]
It just looks as if you are so blinded by putting up a front that you justify lying over actually making a life change. It's like a woman who is really a size 10 but squeezes into a size six. Yeah, she can hardly breath and she "stomach Dunlap," but she's wearing a size six. But when she meets a guy that she's told that she was a size six, what is he going to say? You think he's not going to rag on her to his friends?

But you know what? You're right, you are under no obligation to tell the truth, even if you were married. But that type of guy is a "player" not a DJ. Is there anything wrong with players? HECK NO! But don't try to sugar coat what you are doing by justifying cheating and lying to hide shortcomings which you don't want to address (nothing personal).

And about different types of lies alright, justify it however you must. Men are notorious for telling more lies than women anyway (yes this is true). The lies women tell are just bigger.

A guy's lie: Yeah, I had dinner with my ex last night.
A woman's lie: The baby is yours.

Sugar coat it as you must but it's still a lie that could eventually negatively impact another person.

Now I've taken this down the "morality road" which a lot of the long term members here know that I have my own definitions of morality, but I want to emphasize that in this instance it's not about morality. It's about taking short cuts to get a quick fix instead of doing whatever it takes to make a lifestyle change.

[/rant]

 

[john_1234]

So you're saying that your life doesn't interest women. Alright, so what happens when a woman actually believes you and your lies, then what? Are you going to give up playing Halo? (which I play too and have had women over to play along with me).

[rant=on]
It just looks as if you are so blinded by putting up a front that you justify lying over actually making a life change. It's like a woman who is really a size 10 but squeezes into a size six. Yeah, she can hardly breath and she "stomach Dunlap," but she's wearing a size six. But when she meets a guy that she's told that she was a size six, what is he going to say? You think he's not going to rag on her to his friends?

But you know what? You're right, you are under no obligation to tell the truth, even if you were married. But that type of guy is a "player" not a DJ. Is there anything wrong with players? HECK NO! But don't try to sugar coat what you are doing by justifying cheating and lying to hide shortcomings which you don't want to address (nothing personal).

And about different types of lies alright, justify it however you must. Men are notorious for telling more lies than women anyway (yes this is true). The lies women tell are just bigger.

A guy's lie: Yeah, I had dinner with my ex last night.
A woman's lie: The baby is yours.

Sugar coat it as you must but it's still a lie that could eventually negatively impact another person.

Now I've taken this down the "morality road" which a lot of the long term members here know that I have my own definitions of morality, but I want to emphasize that in this instance it's not about morality. It's about taking short cuts to get a quick fix instead of doing whatever it takes to make a lifestyle change.

[/rant]

you're overanalyzing this. it's a simple white lie, that's all. i see where you're coming from because i've been on both sides when it comes to this. yes, some weekends i could be a total bum. call it what you want, a "shortcoming" whatever... i'm simply trying to say that if you are forthright and honest about being a bum over a weekend, you will lose value. i respect your views and all, but for me i wouldn't go so far as to say one was putting up a front if he told a simple white lie

 

[WestCoaster]

It's worthless trying to explain this technique because I went from seeing a gal and leaving it at that to now it's having dinner with an ex, which I'm against saying.

All I'm saying is one technique (which shouldn't be used all the time) is to say you had a date or you were with one gal and get off it.

Now it's being exaggerated, someone has put in the ex-, someone is embellishing saying you can't be authentic, now it's getting to the point where people are saying you lie about everything.

Close this thread ... apparently only a few of us understand the true meaning of what I originally wrote.

Total, 100 percent honesty has never been dished to you by a woman either ... just thought I'd throw that out there.

Close the thread, no one gets it.

 

[DJDamage]

Little white lies never hurt anyone.

I am sure if you were in the bathroom taking a sh1t and you decide to pick up the cellphone and there is your woman on the other end asking " so what are you doing"??!! You should be smart enough to say " I am just taking care of some business, let me call you right back".

Telling a woman you are trying to increase interest level you were hanging around another chick is the same thing.

DJD

 

[WestCoaster]

Correct DJDamage ... the thread still needs to be closed. Most people aren't getting it.

 

[Latinoman]

More power to you Francisco if you're succeeding and being up front about everything and finding quality women who appreciate a guy who lives life with truth, honor, and has some interests. I've probably dated as much as you and I'd say perhaps 5 percent of the women actually appreciate those qualities. I'm serious: more power to you if you're finding women like this.

.

He is an INTERNET dater. Not the same thing as REAL LIFE. You are talking about REAL LIFE women. He is talking about INTERNET women (or that's the impression based on his pro-internet dating approach).

 

[Vulpine]

I understand Francisco's point. He's saying that you can be honest and tell the truth - but since you are a DJ, you are going to have it framed nicely versus negatively.

Example:
"I felt like sitting around playing Halo all weekend, so I did."
or
"*Chuckle* Actually, I sat on my butt and played video games the whole weekend. Do you play any games?"

There is really nothing wrong with that since you did what you wanted: confidence - no fear, no remorse.

 

[Latinoman]

Personally...I rather not lie. I rather either say the truth or say nothing. From my perspective (and to answer the question of the thread), they ask because they want to know WHO you were with.

 

[WestCoaster]

I'd rather not lie either, but the woman only wants to know one thing: who you were with.

If you weren't with anyone, she thinks you're boring and is walking ... even if you have 500 of the most dangerous, exciting hobbies in the world.

If you have zero hobbies (which I would NOT recommend so don't take my words out of context once again) but said, "Suzi and I went for a bike ride on Saturday," the gal is now interested.

Don't ask me to explain this phenomenon, it's just the way it is ... it's the plain, simple truth. I tossed this by a friend of mine this weekend and he said damn straight. That's the way it is and will always be. Sosuave would do its readers a great service to discuss the "be seen and/or heard with another woman" more than what is currently on this site.

 

[Latinoman]

I'd rather not lie either, but the woman only wants to know one thing: who you were with.

If you weren't with anyone, she thinks you're boring and is walking ... even if you have 500 of the most dangerous, exciting hobbies in the world.

If you have zero hobbies (which I would NOT recommend so don't take my words out of context once again) but said, "Suzi and I went for a bike ride on Saturday," the gal is now interested.

Don't ask me to explain this phenomenon, it's just the way it is ... it's the plain, simple truth. I tossed this by a friend of mine this weekend and he said damn straight. That's the way it is and will always be. Sosuave would do its readers a great service to discuss the "be seen and/or heard with another woman" more than what is currently on this site.

I will tell you one thing...the second time I talked to the woman that is NOW my girlfriend (professional, good looking, independent, "confident", etc.)...I mentioned to her something about my co-worker (a 24-25 year woman). In fact, I believe that I talked about either going out to a local night club with my co-worker. And I believe I also mentioned some things that co-worker told me to tease me when we were at work. I said those things casually and I believe, I said them to answer a question my now girlfriend asked me. I truly don't remember. I do remember one thing...she asked me if I and my co-worker were involved (intimate) or if that co-worker felt attraction for me. She asked that out of no where.

My point? Of the many things we talked that day, that's one of the few things I remember clearly picking her interest to the point that she bluntly asked me if I had been involved with that co-worker (which is like a little sister to me - although, extremely goodlooking).

Now, I would not recommend anyone to abuse this. It has to come out natural.

I think that the only hobby a woman might find extremely interest is the type that she also loves to do. If she LOVES dancing...then you can rest assure that if you are a dancing instructor, she will find that interesting. If she loves rock climbing and you happen to be an avid rock climber, she might also find that topic interesting. BUT the danger there is that you can easily fall into the friend zone.

But...nothing beats the possibility of ANOTHER woman interested in you too. Because now she has potential competition...and she understand (and trust me, they do) that you are spinning a plate and could care less if she turns her back on you.

 

[noit77]

Hi Westcoster,
you made your point very clearly though a more than sufficient number
of posts here. You don´t have to worry that only few people did follow you.
Everybody is free to make is own decisions and to take his own
viewpoint.
Thanks,

 

[WestCoaster]

I did make my point, and an additional point isn't that people aren't following me, it's that they totally exaggerated what I wrote and went down a completely different path, saying I was advocating being a liar all the time and approving of not having a life. Never said any of those things. Not following me I can handle; lying about what I wrote bothers me.

Lock this thread.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I understand Francisco's point. He's saying that you can be honest and tell the truth - but since you are a DJ, you are going to have it framed nicely versus negatively.

Example:
"I felt like sitting around playing Halo all weekend, so I did."
or
"*Chuckle* Actually, I sat on my butt and played video games the whole weekend. Do you play any games?"

There is really nothing wrong with that since you did what you wanted: confidence - no fear, no remorse.

That's what I'm saying. I don't think there's anything wrong with staying in and playing video games or doing nothing if you fvcking want to. The thing is that sticks up like a red flag is when a guy himself thinks that there's something wrong with it when when it comes to telling women. If he really feels that there is (and maybe for him there is) then why not actually do something about it?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

He is an INTERNET dater. Not the same thing as REAL LIFE. You are talking about REAL LIFE women. He is talking about INTERNET women (or that's the impression based on his pro-internet dating approach).

And you're one of those guys who obviously thinks that sarging online completely different than face to face, it's not. What makes you think that women on the Net are any different? THEY'RE THE SAME WOMEN!!!

What world are you living in? You guys and your excuses...

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Westcoaster, you're right on.
I know several hot women from where I used to work (we still get together now and then). The "be seen with women" dynamic has played out before my very eyes so many times in these situations (even between women that are just casual friends of mine).
It really pays to plant a seed of suspicion in her head, and subtlety is key.

It's easy, she will do all of the work for you - just allow her to use her imagination on the vague information you provide. Heck, I know I've done the same thing when thinking about another woman, why not turn the tables for a change. The hotter the woman, the better this works. Sometimes all that's needed is to send an email to her, and copy someone else whose email address is obviously a woman, then go on vacation for a while

And about the little white lie thing - well I guess some folks draw the line differently than others, but if I feel good about (read:conscience) saying something, then I'll say it. A comment about being with another woman does not have to be a lie. You could (for example) simply relate a casual conversation you had with, say, a cashier in such a way (with enough vagueness) to set her wheels in motion. If done properly, she won't quiz you to death because there isn't enough to go on. Nonetheless, it will make her think. Job done.

 

[Nausicaa]

How do you guys react when the situation is reversed? I've had girls talk about their nights out and they say something like, "Oh my gosh, this guy started hitting on me, and it ended up getting sort of creepy, and when I asked for my number, I just gave it to him!!".

I just laughed and talked about something else.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

How do you guys react when the situation is reversed? I've had girls talk about their nights out and they say something like, "Oh my gosh, this guy started hitting on me, and it ended up getting sort of creepy, and when I asked for my number, I just gave it to him!!".

I just laughed and talked about something else.

Let them rant. Women love comparing things, especially when it's apples to oranges. They can't help gripe about the AFC that she went out with earlier in the week.

I end up asking her questions about the date and she goes on about all the mistakes he made. I sit quietly, nod and give an occasional chuckle; never saying "I'd never do that." At the end of it all I just ask quizzically, "And what exactly did you see in this guy to go out with him in the first place?" This qualifying question tells you what she's all about (is she a professional dater, on the rebound, just confused about what she wants or whatever). Plus it puts a little tidbit in the back of her mind that she's dealing with someone different so she had better pay attention to what she does also.

 

[Latinoman]

And you're one of those guys who obviously thinks that sarging online completely different than face to face, it's not. What makes you think that women on the Net are any different? THEY'RE THE SAME WOMEN!!!

What world are you living in? You guys and your excuses...

No Francisco...they are NOT the same women. Make no mistake about that. I did plenty of sarging online. I did it for almost two years (to avoid getting involved with "real world" woman, while I was still living with my soon to be ex-wife).

The fact is...a very smart woman in Real Life will notice ANY man way before that man notices her. She already knows if you scratched your balls or were looking at her or were talking with other women. Many times that woman has seen or noticed you DAYS before you even noticed her. Furthermore, IF she has not noticed you or seeing you...you can rest assure that one of her females friends have (and would provide the details to her). That early in the stage, many women would LISTEN to what society (e.g. girlfriends) will tell her. That's how women get rid of potential losers; by visual elimination.

It takes a REAL DJ to be able to attract those kind of women (smart, intelligent, independent, attractive, professional, sexy, AND educated) in REAL life.

In the Internet, we are handicapping those women. The only thing they can see is either a "profile" or what we write. They cannot catch us scratching our balls or with a bad posture or gawking on another woman or any of those things women find unattractive.

Why do you think that LOSERS (real life) manage to score in the Internet but are LOSERS when it comes to meeting real life women? That's why I always say that the Internet is for Losers. I'm not saying that every man in the Internet is a Loser. What I'm saying is that it is a perfect tool for losers to use to get laid.

Now...many people say that it still takes some skills (which I don't deny when it comes to the writing part), because people would eventually meet face to face (now, that's the part I disagree). And I say, "Then you know very little about women".

Once a man passes the test (e.g. she finds him very attractive)...then she tends to overlook at the negatives. You see? Online you are already communicating (or manipulating) a woman to see ALL your goods. She then creates this notion of "soulmate" or possible "soulmate". When she finally sees you, she starts overlooking the OBVIOUS signs of how messed up that man might be.

How do you think many women stick with abusive men in real life? Because those men managed to win their hearts by showing good qualities first. Later on, they came with their true self. Then the women say "I know that deep inside he is a good man" crap.

Same principle.

So, Francisco...safe the it for the guys that have zero experience or limited experience with women.

Now, if you said that the Internet is a great tool to get laid and if you say that it is EASIER (much more) to get laid via the Internet...then I would agree with you 100%. But implying that is the SAME is...hmmmm...like they say in my Barrio: mierda.

And I say that with all due respect. This is more a debate issue. I know you are an outstanding contributor to this place.