What do you say not to look bad when they ask you

[wjh]

I live with my parents. I'm 25.

The reasons why I don't live in my own apartment, or with friends, is because I 1.) went to college and graduated June 2006. 2.) I shortly thereafter took a 100% commission sales job in an industry that imploded. 3.) I have no money after struggling for over a year in a declining industry. I didn't give up at the first sign of worry. I tried, and tried, and tried to make things work and they didn't. The entire industry fundamentally changed for economic reasons. Dead in the water. I also had a 2 year relationship end that played a significant role in my emotional well being. She had BPD and I didn't figure it out until I was already emotionally broken over it. This site helped me with that girl but I digress...

I'm in the process of finding new employment in a new industry that I have zero contacts in.

I took a risk after college, when I was able to do it, and it didn't pan out the way I hoped and dreamed. I failed and I'm man enough to admit it.

If some girl wants to look at me like I'm a loser because of that, fine. She can find someone else. I won't hold her back. I know who I am and that I do have definite value. If she can't figure that out that's her loss, not mine.

That said, I don't get into it until I feel the girl is worthy of knowing the personal details of my life. I've found quite a few girls who actually do understand and don't sweat the fact that I live with my parents for their sake, I do it for my own reasons.

 

[edger]

Nope. She can't afford it by herself. I was just unlucky to have a dad that wasn't mature enough as a caretaker of a family. I don't see myself getting out of this situation for years unless I get divine intervention or something. I might get to 30 and be in this situation. We got no family and nobody to depend on really so if I did not work we would be on the streets.

Having your own pad is a huge confidence booster but a value/life booster as well. It raises your value with females and you grow as a man as well. Not much I can do but keep on doing what I been doing up to now.

I don't know how some guys in this forum come up with excuses for not living by themselves. If I was given the chance I would have left on my own even if it meant sleeping on a motel or on a car. You don't know the true value of living on your own till you want to and are able to but can't because life is holding you back. I could afford to live by myself but life is holding me back. That is what pisses me off.

Joe, go shoot yourself, you're a cancer to the earth . Forget all the negative feedback you're getting. Don't listen to these guys. So ****in' what??, you're living your parents. As long as you're paying them rent, washing your own clothes, cleaning your own room, etc.

To all the bashers, do you know all my family in Italy are living with their parents?? And did you know that they're all in their 30's? Did you know all of Europe is like this?? Europeans don't share this stupid, small-minded mentality that many useless Americans have. Did you also know my dad once told me, had he never got married to my mom, he would've still lived with his parents? Now, in my opinion, and this is me personally, I think it's better to be on your own, away from a parent(s). And that's for the simple reason that, I like my PRIVACY, especially privacy when I'm nailing some hot chick.

By the way, you can still have sex while your parents are in the house, just keep the door shut and keep it quiet.

OH and one other thing, my cousin, 26 yrs old, who lives here in NY, is a teacher and still lives with his parents, and has an attractive girlfriend who is also a teacher. And from what I know, he hasn't told me anything about moving out anytime soon.

And what do you tell a chick who asks you if you still live with your parent(s)? You tell her CONFIDENTLY that, yes you still live with your parent(s)..and make sure you tell her that you're independent(pay rent and wash your own clothes, etc.). It's amazing what confidence does. And if she asks you that question with negative undertones, tell her, "Yeah, is there supposed to be something wrong with that? I pay rent, wash my own clothes, and care for myself." That should shut the b*tch up.

 

[reset]

Don't take yourself out of the race. This place is about seeking women with high interest. You've got a future and are working towards it.

 

[edger]

If someone is trying to qualify you based on your housing situation, that's kind of a red flag to me...

Exactly.

Many women are also conditioned(what a surprise) to think living with parents is a bad thing, hence this is the mentality they adopt. A smart enough woman, or a woman with enough WISDOM will know it's not bad. It is your job to UNCONDITION them, the weak-minded beings that they are. Like I said, it is bad when you're not paying rent and caring for yourself(doing your own clothes, etc.)

 

[reset]

I live at home, pay rent, all the bills and utilities and everything, take care of myself. Still itching to get that pad though.

 

[mrRuckus]

Exactly.

Many women are also conditioned(what a surprise) to think living with parents is a bad thing, hence this is the mentality they adopt. A smart enough woman, or a woman with enough WISDOM will know it's not bad.

Eh?

I'm not dating any woman living with her parents. A roommate is bad enough.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I think honesty this time would be your best response:

"My dad walked out on us and I've been working since I was 16 (or whatever age) to support my mom and sister. They wouldn't have a place without me, and I can't just leave them."

Make yourself out to be the man your father wasn't. Let any woman know that for you to live on your own you'd have to pay for two places. Yes some girls will still not care and reject you for it, but making it clear to a girl that you've been doing well in a bad situation means you wouldn't have to lie and makes you sound kinda tough.

 

[Omen]

I live with my parents still, and let me tell you WHY I do.

First off I was living on my own in another state and working and loved it. Lease was up, and the cost of living was a little more than I wanted to spend, so I moved back home.

I moved back here to FINISH my college degree which I will have in May, AND TO SAVE MONEY TO START A BUSINESS.

I have been working on a business for a very long time, and as people know, IT TAKES MONEY.

So instead of dumping $400-500 for a place (rent is cheap where I am at) that money is saved so I dont have to take out as big of a business loan.

Renting a place is throwing away money for me right now. I look into the future, and go... If I want this business to be successful, and dont want to have to pay off a loan that much, I HAVE TO MAKE A SACRIFICE.

I also CANT work 40hrs a week or I will never get it started either.

I do what it takes to get something I have always wanted. I do NOT care what any male or female thinks at the time being, because when I am a successful business person, it will all pay off in the end and I can say... that small bit of sacrifice paid off. So then I can more than likely just buy a house straight up where I live with barely any loan at all depending on sales of the business.

Also too, for me its not like it sucks totally. I have access to a pool, wet bar, game room, music room, 65" TV with surround sound and 50" TV, my own room, own bathroom, and a total of 6,000sq foot of area. It isn't crowded.

So I approach it by telling a girl that I am saving every penny to start my business. If I was to spend $3,000 in rent for 6 months, $3,000 is a nice chunk of change to use which means the loan payment will be less per month, and the APR on the loan wont eat me alive either.

I LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. And for me, all of the naysayers will see this very soon. Damn, I wish I was doing what you are doing now. I can see now what you were saying all along.

Now not that I am telling you to lie and come up with a story about how you are trying to start a business and need to save every penny, but my story is true.

I've owned a business before, and I can say that money/loans and all of that are a huge pain. You have to do what you can, even if it means living out of your car like Famous Amos

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

HER: So you live with your parents?

YOU: Only for the moment. I'm only staying with them until the construction on my new place is complete.


Then driver her over to any number of the new build sites around your area (preferably at dusk when no workers are present), pick out a nice 2 story frame work house, sigh, and then say "Ah, 6 more months and I'll be able to move in." With the housing market in the toilet as it is now, you could probably stretch this one on for at least 3 years.

 

[decades]

It depends. it depends upon your "hotness" level. At your age, there are a plenty of women who will only care about your hotness. Until you can get more independent, work on your hotness level and your game, and you should do ok. Attraction is a chemical reaction. Women write letters to convicted serial killers. Kate Moss LUVS Pete Dougherty. Get the picture?

 

[Latinoman]

Joe, go shoot yourself, you're a cancer to the earth . Forget all the negative feedback you're getting. Don't listen to these guys. So ****in' what??, you're living your parents. As long as you're paying them rent, washing your own clothes, cleaning your own room, etc.

To all the bashers, do you know all my family in Italy are living with their parents?? And did you know that they're all in their 30's? Did you know all of Europe is like this?? Europeans don't share this stupid, small-minded mentality that many useless Americans have. Did you also know my dad once told me, had he never got married to my mom, he would've still lived with his parents? Now, in my opinion, and this is me personally, I think it's better to be on your own, away from a parent(s). And that's for the simple reason that, I like my PRIVACY, especially privacy when I'm nailing some hot chick.

By the way, you can still have sex while your parents are in the house, just keep the door shut and keep it quiet.

OH and one other thing, my cousin, 26 yrs old, who lives here in NY, is a teacher and still lives with his parents, and has an attractive girlfriend who is also a teacher. And from what I know, he hasn't told me anything about moving out anytime soon.

And what do you tell a chick who asks you if you still live with your parent(s)? You tell her CONFIDENTLY that, yes you still live with your parent(s)..and make sure you tell her that you're independent(pay rent and wash your own clothes, etc.). It's amazing what confidence does. And if she asks you that question with negative undertones, tell her, "Yeah, is there supposed to be something wrong with that? I pay rent, wash my own clothes, and care for myself." That should shut the b*tch up.

He asked questions and we provided answers.

Fact is...there is NOT positive way of seeing this from a woman's perspective.

Another thing...this is the U.S...not Italy.

If you are NOT independent...then you are not in a position to be in a LTR. Not when you are in your upper 20s.

 

[Latinoman]

I don't see this as a big deal. Some of the smartest people I know live at home, saving up for their own place. It takes at least a couple years out of school to pay off debt and save for your own place.

If someone is trying to qualify you based on your housing situation, that's kind of a red flag to me...

All I am saying is that maybe that person should focus on THAT...before focusing on women. Especially women that are in their mid 20s and want a man that is independent.

 

[Latinoman]

Exactly.

Many women are also conditioned(what a surprise) to think living with parents is a bad thing, hence this is the mentality they adopt. A smart enough woman, or a woman with enough WISDOM will know it's not bad. It is your job to UNCONDITION them, the weak-minded beings that they are. Like I said, it is bad when you're not paying rent and caring for yourself(doing your own clothes, etc.)

Dude...that's the way it is in this country. Women see it as a negative.

I am not going to lie to the guy.

And why would a woman prefer a DEPENDENT man when there are plenty of INDEPENDENT men out there?

 

[Latinoman]

I live with my parents still, and let me tell you WHY I do.

First off I was living on my own in another state and working and loved it. Lease was up, and the cost of living was a little more than I wanted to spend, so I moved back home.

I moved back here to FINISH my college degree which I will have in May, AND TO SAVE MONEY TO START A BUSINESS.

I have been working on a business for a very long time, and as people know, IT TAKES MONEY.

So instead of dumping $400-500 for a place (rent is cheap where I am at) that money is saved so I dont have to take out as big of a business loan.

Renting a place is throwing away money for me right now. I look into the future, and go... If I want this business to be successful, and dont want to have to pay off a loan that much, I HAVE TO MAKE A SACRIFICE.

I also CANT work 40hrs a week or I will never get it started either.

I do what it takes to get something I have always wanted. I do NOT care what any male or female thinks at the time being, because when I am a successful business person, it will all pay off in the end and I can say... that small bit of sacrifice paid off. So then I can more than likely just buy a house straight up where I live with barely any loan at all depending on sales of the business.

Also too, for me its not like it sucks totally. I have access to a pool, wet bar, game room, music room, 65" TV with surround sound and 50" TV, my own room, own bathroom, and a total of 6,000sq foot of area. It isn't crowded.

So I approach it by telling a girl that I am saving every penny to start my business. If I was to spend $3,000 in rent for 6 months, $3,000 is a nice chunk of change to use which means the loan payment will be less per month, and the APR on the loan wont eat me alive either.

I LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. And for me, all of the naysayers will see this very soon. Damn, I wish I was doing what you are doing now. I can see now what you were saying all along.

Now not that I am telling you to lie and come up with a story about how you are trying to start a business and need to save every penny, but my story is true.

I've owned a business before, and I can say that money/loans and all of that are a huge pain. You have to do what you can, even if it means living out of your car like Famous Amos

So you are saving $400 to $500 a month in rent...but want to date? What are you going to do...take her to McDonnalds?

Dude...it can cost you almost as much going to to places and dating a woman. Especially if you don't have your own place.

I say that you are not ready to date either until you get your sh_it together.

 

[Latinoman]

It depends. it depends upon your "hotness" level. At your age, there are a plenty of women who will only care about your hotness. Until you can get more independent, work on your hotness level and your game, and you should do ok. Attraction is a chemical reaction. Women write letters to convicted serial killers. Kate Moss LUVS Pete Dougherty. Get the picture?

I agree with this. I was unemployed for a short period of time in 20s and I swear, I was getting laid back and forth.

 

[reset]

If a chick doesn't see I'm on my way to getting my own pad, a better job etc, and would judge me on that, then we both saved each other a lot of time.

This has really bugged me. No I don't "live at home" I pay rent etc. like I explained. It's a roomate situation. But yeah, working towards my own independence. It's nothing to be f'ing ashamed of. Rents in my area are through the roof as it is.

Doesn't mean I don't have my **** together.

 

[Omen]

So you are saving $400 to $500 a month in rent...but want to date? What are you going to do...take her to McDonnalds?

Dude...it can cost you almost as much going to to places and dating a woman. Especially if you don't have your own place.

I say that you are not ready to date either until you get your sh_it together.

Ok, if you are spending $400 a month on a woman, you have a big problem. And why is it that guys think you always have to spend money on them to keep them? Sure it costs to go out to eat, but why do you have to do it all of the time? Why do you always have to go out and SPEND MONEY. There are many things to do that dont cost much at all, and are better than spending money.

I see this because I am a business person. Maybe you dont see it cause you have been spending money non-stop on women.

I've NEVER spent that much ever in any relationship in a month, or even possibly 3 months. I feel pretty sorry for you if you dish that type of dough out.

 

[Latinoman]

Ok, if you are spending $400 a month on a woman, you have a big problem. And why is it that guys think you always have to spend money on them to keep them? Sure it costs to go out to eat, but why do you have to do it all of the time? Why do you always have to go out and SPEND MONEY. There are many things to do that dont cost much at all, and are better than spending money.

I see this because I am a business person. Maybe you dont see it cause you have been spending money non-stop on women.

I've NEVER spent that much ever in any relationship in a month, or even possibly 3 months. I feel pretty sorry for you if you dish that type of dough out.

What do you spent a month in a relationship? $20. That sounds like an allowance given by your parents.

If I want to go to NY or Chicago...it is going to cost ME money to go there. If I want her to come with me (of course she pays her way), it will still cost ME $$$ to go there.

If I want to go to the theater (not the movies) to watch a play...there goes $100. If I want to go to a nightclub in the D.C. area...there goes about $100. Even if you do that one night a week...that adds to $300 to 400 a month. Especially when you add gasoline, parking and food into the equation. Even if you are NOT spending $ on a woman. It costs money to be in the lifestyle.

Note: Don't feel sorry for me. I have been independent (NOT living with parents, etc.) since I was 20. And did not have a "roomate" type since I was 21.

 

[Warrior74]

What do you spent a month in a relationship? $20. That sounds like an allowance given by your parents.

If I want to go to NY or Chicago...it is going to cost ME money to go there. If I want her to come with me (of course she pays her way), it will still cost ME $$$ to go there.

If I want to go to the theater (not the movies) to watch a play...there goes $100. If I want to go to a nightclub in the D.C. area...there goes about $100. Even if you do that one night a week...that adds to $300 to 400 a month. Especially when you add gasoline, parking and food into the equation. Even if you are NOT spending $ on a woman. It costs money to be in the lifestyle.

Note: Don't feel sorry for me. I have been independent (NOT living with parents, etc.) since I was 20. And did not have a "roomate" type since I was 21.

if you are spending this money to get her or keep her and not because you are doing something you want to do then you are a trick. plain and simple. if its your wants and shes tagging along...

 

[Omen]

What do you spent a month in a relationship? $20. That sounds like an allowance given by your parents.

If I want to go to NY or Chicago...it is going to cost ME money to go there. If I want her to come with me (of course she pays her way), it will still cost ME $$$ to go there.

If I want to go to the theater (not the movies) to watch a play...there goes $100. If I want to go to a nightclub in the D.C. area...there goes about $100. Even if you do that one night a week...that adds to $300 to 400 a month. Especially when you add gasoline, parking and food into the equation. Even if you are NOT spending $ on a woman. It costs money to be in the lifestyle.

Note: Don't feel sorry for me. I have been independent (NOT living with parents, etc.) since I was 20. And did not have a "roomate" type since I was 21.

Ok, first off, if I am not SERIOUS with a woman, I am sure as heck not going to be traveling with her. But yeah it's going to cost you money if you travel, but I dont think many guys just randomly travel with someone they aren't serious with. In my mind that is money well wasted.

D.C.. Yeah, I hear D.C is crazy for cost of living. I am in a place where the cost of living is one of the lowest in the US. I can tell you that my parents house with pool, finished basement and a total of 6,000sqft would be a couple of million in D.C. You can get that for under 450,000 where I am at.

We also dont have the glitz and glamor of a big city,so you dont spend money like you would maybe elsewhere.

I took a girl out once for frozen custard cause she never had it, and she had only had ice cream. She loved it, and was like... Wow, thanks for giving me an insight on this stuff. COST ME $4 FOR THE BOTH

And that is the thing. You have to define YOUR type of lifestyle, and determine where you live as well. I talked to a girl in DC and told her she was crazy for spending what she was on a place she was renting. She said something like $1,200 on a condo. For $1,400/month I can get a 5 bedroom house with 3.5 bath with over 3,000sqft.

She told me they spend their money on the lifestyle. We spend more of our money on housing, and dont worry as much about the lifestyle like D.C, Denver, or any other place would be like.

I guess it is a trade off.