What do you make of this?

[Bigpapa]

The thing is, there's nothing wrong with having an espresso, but not many men can sexually escalate during a coffee date.

If you're a skilled conversationalist, you can arouse the slvt in any woman, but you cannot reach congruency in a forced way, you have to live and breathe sexuality in a way that makes her see you as a conquest, not the other way around.

You claim to be a player, but the nonsense you write begs to disagree with what you flex

If the girl does not sense that you are sexually interested in her she will bail out. This thing with she has to see you as a conquest is one of the worst thing you can advise someone because women will assume that you are not into her and you will only have blue balls

Same thing with being a skilled conversationalist. Just talking with women dries their vagina. Women give no f8cks about your conversional skills, you are not their shrink and they do not really have anything interesting to say in the vast majority of cases

Take your garbage somewhere else bro

Guys who admit that they have no idea what they are doing are way more respectable, than guys who want to flex on how amazing they are but in reality are just as clueless

 

[Bigpapa]

Then why are you even here?

Let me ask you one thing from another perspective

Why would you come here and ask opinions if you think that everyone here is a loser?

On one hand when you ask someone for their input because you assume that they are better than you, on the other hand when you do not agree with something you assume that everyone is a loser

Also, why would a guy that is extremely rich not have problems with women? Bill gates, the Amazon guy are all known to be very bad in terms of women ( unless they do not go to prostitutes ). More does not mean that also other things scale at the space

Which one is it?

 

[Bigpapa]

Self-validation. Putting yourself on a pedestal to make others qualify themselves to you.

He doesn't want help; it's not what he came here for.

Compared to most guys here, he seems genuine ( at least for now )

Give him the benefit of doubt for the time being

You know, the best way to evolve ( scientifically proven ) is a Tit for Tat strategy. If you are too aggressive nothing will grow around you, and if you are soft everyone will take advantage of you

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You claim to be a player, but the nonsense you write begs to disagree with what you flex

Funny, can you show me where I claim such a thing? I have a healthy polyamorous sex life, but I didn't get that through being a PUA or a player. Nor am I here to become one.

Same thing with being a skilled conversationalist. Just talking with women dries their vagina. Women give no f8cks about your conversional skills, you are not their shrink and they do not really have anything interesting to say in the vast majority of cases

And here you go projecting again.
Conversationalist doesn't mean the same as talking their ear off.
Just because women don't care what you have to say, and that you date empty bimbos with nothing to say, doesn't mean that's the same over here.
Just because you're a failure doesn't mean that anyone who isn't is automatically lying about their success.

 

[pipeman84]

A good cafe has a very Parisian vibe which means that basically you sit next to each other and you can escalate easily

escalation (meaning kissing and sexual touch) in a public place such as bar/cafe - not many women would feel comfortable with that, I as a man am not.

The worst possible idea for a first date is going to a park ( especially if you are post university ), as it either puts the idea that you do not really care to put an act or that you are clueless.

the alternative view is that you're authentic and fully secure in your masculinity so you don't act to impress.

Also for a woman is strange going out with a guy, as she wants to get to know him, look at him, etc . This is difficult to do if you walk in the park and sit side by side.

As a guy I also want to get a good look at her entire body, how she moves etc and that's better accomplished walking in broad daylight as opposed to siting in semi darkness in a bar/cafe. There's also the option to sit on a bench, which is just like in the cafe setting, but with more privacy.

Plus you ask a lot of effort from her end, to walk through the park. Why she should put a lot of effort for some guy that she does not know and is not in some sort of relationship with?

LOL at the bolded part. There's even a saying in the English language, 'it's a walk in the park' to refer to something that's easily accomplished.

 

[Bigpapa]

escalation (meaning kissing and sexual touch) in a public place such as bar/cafe - not many women would feel comfortable with that, I as a man am not.

the alternative view is that you're authentic and fully secure in your masculinity so you don't act to impress.

As a guy I also want to get a good look at her entire body, how she moves etc and that's better accomplished walking in broad daylight as opposed to siting in semi darkness in a bar/cafe. There's also the option to sit on a bench, which is just like in the cafe setting, but with more privacy.

LOL at the bolded part. There's even a saying in the English language, 'it's a walk in the park' to refer to something that's easily accomplished.

Sexually escalating does not mean only kiss or sex, it is about you setting up a sexual frame

Even touching her in a sexual way is called escalation

With the rest of the things you said is just you thinking, but you can do whatever you think is best for you. No one is forcing you to do anything as long as you accept also your part of the blame when things do not go where you would want them to do

 

[Bigpapa]

And here you go projecting again.
Conversationalist doesn't mean the same as talking their ear off.
Just because women don't care what you have to say, and that you date empty bimbos with nothing to say, doesn't mean that's the same over here.
Just because you're a failure doesn't mean that anyone who isn't is automatically lying about their success.

Even those who have something to say do not appreciate these conversations before you sleep with them. Maybe they appreciate it before if it is in a small dose and as a way to show her that you are not retarded

But even then, there as many cases as smart women dating not so smart guys as there are smart women dating smart guys

Actually the smarter you are the sh1t tier your love life is ( again backed by data )

The logical conclusion is that women do not care about what you have to say in general

Contrary to you, I know this because I was doing this mistake when I was younger and I still do it from time to time

What you say is not backed up by the real
World, like most of what you say

 

[obelisk]

Come on. How many multi-millionaires, bodybuilders or otherwise are clueless about women? Why in hell are you bashing on a guy who is trying to be honest and looking to improve (which I think the OP is)?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Actually the smarter you are the sh1t tier your love life is ( again backed by data )

See, that's where you're wrong. Data are nice, but you have to know how to read them.
It's the brainiacs, the 'high IQ' people, the MENSA people, who are so socially stunted that their sex life usually suffers.
Smart men have excellent love lives, thank you very much.

Even those who have something to say do not appreciate these conversations before you sleep with them. Maybe they appreciate it before if it is in a small dose and as a way to show her that you are not retarded

And how would you know what it's like conversing with an educated smart woman, when you only hunt bimbos with nothing to say? No wonder you cannot argue yourself out of a paper bag - anything you haven't experienced has to be false / misinformation. More brawn than brains. Why do you think I emphasise skilled when I'm talking about conversation?

Who are you that you need to show you're not retarded? Do you look like that?

 

[Stoic]

Then why are you even here?

I think Op was just saying he has a lot of positives going on for him. He is just missing the game piece and mindset part of the equation.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I think Op was just saying he has a lot of positives going on for him. He is just missing the game piece and mindset part of the equation.

Indeed. Just because someone becomes a millionaire doesn't make them smart with women.

 

[Bigpapa]

See, that's where you're wrong. Data are nice, but you have to know how to read them.
It's the brainiacs, the 'high IQ' people, the MENSA people, who are so socially stunted that their sex life usually suffers.
Smart men have excellent love lives, thank you very much.


And how would you know what it's like conversing with an educated smart woman, when you only hunt bimbos with nothing to say? No wonder you cannot argue yourself out of a paper bag - anything you haven't experienced has to be false / misinformation. More brawn than brains. Why do you think I emphasise skilled when I'm talking about conversation?

Who are you that you need to show you're not retarded? Do you look like that?

1. Data is quite clear. The more educated you are the more you struggle in your love life as a man. You agreed with me that very smart guys struggle

The level of education is also highly correlated with the iq. The chance of someone being smart and not having at least an university degree is slim, especially these days

Now, to have smart discussions you also have to be educated, as otherwise it would be unlikely to have any affinity for smart discussions

And this is what the data say, in the moment you hit the university degree that is the moment when the love life starts suffering, and it gets worse and worse as you get more advanced degrees

What you said is just arguing in bad faith

Now, you can be a smart guy and have a great love life. That for sure can happen, but it is mainly due to learning what works and what does not, not because of your skill in discussions ( which is a byproduct of education ) as you put it

This again does not invalidate when I said that women do not care about what you have to say

On the contrary it just validates what I say, because attraction/sex/love/etc are things at subconscious level. It is it or it is not, for sure you can not influence it with words, you can only influence it with action. And talking is different than action

2. I never said that I date bimbos or stupid women. On the contrary

Overall You can argue as much as you want, you just dig your own hole

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The level of education is also highly correlated with the iq. The chance of someone being smart and not having at least an university degree is slim, especially these days

Oh man.

It's okay, I'm following Mark Twain's advice here. Enjoy yourself.

 

[Xman]

Some of you over-think the venue for a date. She will either like you or not, regardless of the place.

Also, no you do not need to escalate and “bang” a women the first 30 minutes of meeting her. It is okay to not be hyper focused on a quick “bang”.

 

[Bigpapa]

Oh man.

It's okay, I'm following Mark Twain's advice here. Enjoy yourself.

Trying to save face by acting “”alpha”, what a cliche. Oh boy, not even an ounce of creativity from such an illustrious creative and skilled conversationalist like yourself

Shoo away and don’t for forget your bullsh1t too

 

[Ricky]

One thing that has changed from my PUA days is that now text is the main form of communication.

Text is problematic in many ways. First the timelines of communication are shortened. You wouldnt call the day after a date in the past for fear of coming off as an eager beaver.

what about text? Serious question as ive been out of the game from 2006 to now essentially

i am seeing tons of problems
From these shortened timelines and expectations

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

what about text? Serious question as ive been out of the game from 2006 to now essentially

I use text mostly for logistics, not much else. I don't hold conversations over chat/text unless it's someone I know well enough to be able to imagine their tone/inflection.

Communication is mostly about non-verbal communication and intonation, not about the words you speak. So text, leaving only the words, is imperfect communication, even if you have a wide vocabulary.

The whole 'text game' is fun, but with terrible ROI. I would stick to approaching in person and not use the text and/or dating apps. Whenever women contact me on IG, I use the chat to set up another meeting so we can speak in person. Women who like to chat are mostly into it for the validation.

 

[nzrod]

from a woman perspective it is looked as no effort and cheap

All about money rather than happiness then

 

[nzrod]

And you ask her out on a coffee date?

Let me guess, you didn't want her to know you're a millionaire?

From my experience, and many others (including total players) taking a woman to a nice dinner on a first date is a total rookie move. More often than not it is waste of money as no connection or worse...I took one woman to a nice dinner on the first date and within half an hour it was clear she was a total conspiracy theorist who thought every world leader was the antichrist and criticised me for not agreeing with her. Wasted $200 on that one and 1.5 hours of my life. Coffee or park date first as a filter, THEN offer dinner date...which is what I did here.

 

[nzrod]

Self-validation. Putting yourself on a pedestal to make others qualify themselves to you.

He doesn't want help; it's not what he came here for.

WTF are you talking about? False. I came here and asked a genuine question as I want some advice and I got some good advice, thank you all. Then you come in aggressively for no reason.