What do you make of this?

[Bigpapa]

escalation (meaning kissing and sexual touch) in a public place such as bar/cafe - not many women would feel comfortable with that, I as a man am not.

the alternative view is that you're authentic and fully secure in your masculinity so you don't act to impress.

As a guy I also want to get a good look at her entire body, how she moves etc and that's better accomplished walking in broad daylight as opposed to siting in semi darkness in a bar/cafe. There's also the option to sit on a bench, which is just like in the cafe setting, but with more privacy.

LOL at the bolded part. There's even a saying in the English language, 'it's a walk in the park' to refer to something that's easily accomplished.

Sexually escalating does not mean only kiss or sex, it is about you setting up a sexual frame

Even touching her in a sexual way is called escalation

With the rest of the things you said is just you thinking, but you can do whatever you think is best for you. No one is forcing you to do anything as long as you accept also your part of the blame when things do not go where you would want them to do

 

[Bigpapa]

And here you go projecting again.
Conversationalist doesn't mean the same as talking their ear off.
Just because women don't care what you have to say, and that you date empty bimbos with nothing to say, doesn't mean that's the same over here.
Just because you're a failure doesn't mean that anyone who isn't is automatically lying about their success.

Even those who have something to say do not appreciate these conversations before you sleep with them. Maybe they appreciate it before if it is in a small dose and as a way to show her that you are not retarded

But even then, there as many cases as smart women dating not so smart guys as there are smart women dating smart guys

Actually the smarter you are the sh1t tier your love life is ( again backed by data )

The logical conclusion is that women do not care about what you have to say in general

Contrary to you, I know this because I was doing this mistake when I was younger and I still do it from time to time

What you say is not backed up by the real
World, like most of what you say

 

[obelisk]

Come on. How many multi-millionaires, bodybuilders or otherwise are clueless about women? Why in hell are you bashing on a guy who is trying to be honest and looking to improve (which I think the OP is)?

 

[Stoic]

Then why are you even here?

I think Op was just saying he has a lot of positives going on for him. He is just missing the game piece and mindset part of the equation.

 

[Bigpapa]

See, that's where you're wrong. Data are nice, but you have to know how to read them.
It's the brainiacs, the 'high IQ' people, the MENSA people, who are so socially stunted that their sex life usually suffers.
Smart men have excellent love lives, thank you very much.


And how would you know what it's like conversing with an educated smart woman, when you only hunt bimbos with nothing to say? No wonder you cannot argue yourself out of a paper bag - anything you haven't experienced has to be false / misinformation. More brawn than brains. Why do you think I emphasise skilled when I'm talking about conversation?

Who are you that you need to show you're not retarded? Do you look like that?

1. Data is quite clear. The more educated you are the more you struggle in your love life as a man. You agreed with me that very smart guys struggle

The level of education is also highly correlated with the iq. The chance of someone being smart and not having at least an university degree is slim, especially these days

Now, to have smart discussions you also have to be educated, as otherwise it would be unlikely to have any affinity for smart discussions

And this is what the data say, in the moment you hit the university degree that is the moment when the love life starts suffering, and it gets worse and worse as you get more advanced degrees

What you said is just arguing in bad faith

Now, you can be a smart guy and have a great love life. That for sure can happen, but it is mainly due to learning what works and what does not, not because of your skill in discussions ( which is a byproduct of education ) as you put it

This again does not invalidate when I said that women do not care about what you have to say

On the contrary it just validates what I say, because attraction/sex/love/etc are things at subconscious level. It is it or it is not, for sure you can not influence it with words, you can only influence it with action. And talking is different than action

2. I never said that I date bimbos or stupid women. On the contrary

Overall You can argue as much as you want, you just dig your own hole

 

[Xman]

Some of you over-think the venue for a date. She will either like you or not, regardless of the place.

Also, no you do not need to escalate and “bang” a women the first 30 minutes of meeting her. It is okay to not be hyper focused on a quick “bang”.

 

[Bigpapa]

Oh man.

It's okay, I'm following Mark Twain's advice here. Enjoy yourself.

Trying to save face by acting “”alpha”, what a cliche. Oh boy, not even an ounce of creativity from such an illustrious creative and skilled conversationalist like yourself

Shoo away and don’t for forget your bullsh1t too

 

[Ricky]

One thing that has changed from my PUA days is that now text is the main form of communication.

Text is problematic in many ways. First the timelines of communication are shortened. You wouldnt call the day after a date in the past for fear of coming off as an eager beaver.

what about text? Serious question as ive been out of the game from 2006 to now essentially

i am seeing tons of problems
From these shortened timelines and expectations

 

[nzrod]

from a woman perspective it is looked as no effort and cheap

All about money rather than happiness then

 

[nzrod]

And you ask her out on a coffee date?

Let me guess, you didn't want her to know you're a millionaire?

From my experience, and many others (including total players) taking a woman to a nice dinner on a first date is a total rookie move. More often than not it is waste of money as no connection or worse...I took one woman to a nice dinner on the first date and within half an hour it was clear she was a total conspiracy theorist who thought every world leader was the antichrist and criticised me for not agreeing with her. Wasted $200 on that one and 1.5 hours of my life. Coffee or park date first as a filter, THEN offer dinner date...which is what I did here.

 

[nzrod]

Self-validation. Putting yourself on a pedestal to make others qualify themselves to you.

He doesn't want help; it's not what he came here for.

WTF are you talking about? False. I came here and asked a genuine question as I want some advice and I got some good advice, thank you all. Then you come in aggressively for no reason.

 

[Ricky]

I agree. That's why, when someone asked me if you should've taken her to dinner, I answered:

So, I meet a woman in a coffee house, I make a date to have a drink with her (so you can bail when she turns out to be something you didn't expect or want) and if she's a good match she can ride pillion on my motorcycle to show that she's fearless and trusts me.

Is the motorcycle a metaphor or a symbol for something else

 

[Ricky]

 

[Bingo-Player]

You can't be linear with women , there's no real process to follow you have to go with what feels right in the moment

If you feel like you want to kiss her , kiss her , if you feel like you want too fvck her fvck her

Most women now will just go with the flow trying to structure your interactions by doing xyz at certain times is pointless

remember YOU lead she follows

If she for one second has doubt in your ability to lead her into bed and into a relationship she will get bored and her attention will wonder which I think is what has happened here

She also may have had to time to digest and think about the age gap

10 years you can just about get away with but I would say its the upper end of the limit

15-20 years is just too much

 

[obelisk]

Is that matte black? Nice look.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Guys, let's not encourage him now.

 

[obelisk]

Why? AA totally has the Mad Max look ready to go if we ever enter a dystopian nightmare. He can choose to be the villian or the protagonist. I think it's a chill look for an older guy like myself.

 

[bat soup]

I'm a 52yo guy, in great shape, most people say I look 45. Step 1 - Saturday: I chatted up a hotty at a cafe - she is mid to late 30s. She gave me her number. I asked her out the next day. She agreed. Despite being great weather she made it clear she wanted to meet in a cafe not walk in the beautiful park we have here.

Step 2: Sunday - great cafe date. 1.5 hours. She hugged me at the end and said she wanted to see me again and looked excited.

Step 3: Monday - probably a rookie move. I just texted "Great to meet you yesterday". No response from her.

Step 4: Wednesday - I texted suggesting a walk on the beach or dinner on Saturday. I joked about giving her completely diverse options. No response.

How can a woman go from 100% interested to 0% ghosting me just from Monday's text?

Thanks

She agreed to have a coffee with you, gave you a hug and then disappeared.
It's pretty typical female behavior.

I didn't read everything but I saw someone mentioned 2 degrees and she's a professional something or other.
So what?
Can you put your peenus in her two degrees? Does her job title stop her from wasting your time?
No. All of that means nothing, less than nothing, if she's not into you.

Her behavior is her value and her behavior is BS.

 

[Homem_Da_montanha]

I'm a 52yo guy, in great shape, most people say I look 45. Step 1 - Saturday: I chatted up a hotty at a cafe - she is mid to late 30s. She gave me her number. I asked her out the next day. She agreed. Despite being great weather she made it clear she wanted to meet in a cafe not walk in the beautiful park we have here.

Step 2: Sunday - great cafe date. 1.5 hours. She hugged me at the end and said she wanted to see me again and looked excited.

Step 3: Monday - probably a rookie move. I just texted "Great to meet you yesterday". No response from her.

Step 4: Wednesday - I texted suggesting a walk on the beach or dinner on Saturday. I joked about giving her completely diverse options. No response.

How can a woman go from 100% interested to 0% ghosting me just from Monday's text?

Thanks

need more details how the date went.
You didn’t escalate and try to kiss her?