What do you guys think?

[zookeeper]

Been reading the forum for awhile now and thought that I'd post and see what you guys think about my current situation.

Background: I'm 36 and newly single (was dating the same girl on and off for 9 years, dated a few in between but didn't really hit it off with any of them) and I've been seeing this new girl for a few weeks now and I'm pretty confused on what I think or should do now.

I met her (she is 27, pretty in a very classic beauty kind of way) at the restaurant where she works (she is the day manager) (couple of people from work and I go there a few times per week to have lunch) so I decided to ask her out on a date to have drinks. She accepted and we had a great time. We seemed to hit it off pretty well, she was laughing and we talked for about 3 hours. I kissed her goodnight and left feeling pretty good.

We have since then gone out about 4 times with the last being the Friday night of labor day weekend. Each time has been fun and the nights ended with long kissing sessions in the car outside wherever we happened to be.

So this leads me to our last "date". I asked her to dinner picked her up at her house and we had great time as far as I could tell. After dinner I dropped her off at her house she asked me in for drinks. She lives on a lake so we decided to sit on the dock and have our drinks and talk. She was sitting on my lap all was good in the world. I had to get up super early the next day 4 am to leave to go out of town for the weekend and being 11 pm I decided it was time to leave. So she walks me to my car kisses me goodnight several times and hugs me goodbye. Told me she had a great time and I left.

So fast forward to this past week and everything seems to be cold with her and has left me petty confused. After the long weekend Tuesday rolls around and I see her at lunch (BTW I didn't call or text her all the rest of the weekend and neither did she) say hi and smile and her, she smiles back and everything seems fine. Normally we don't have extended talks at her work at lunch (she is busy and I'm with work people) Anyway I stop in after work to have a drink and see if she is around. She isn't there normally later she leaves at 6:00 it's like 5:45. After a few I leave and call her, no answer, don't leave a message but I'm sure she can see that I called. An hour or so later I send a text that says "miss me?" on it. In a couple of hours I get a text back that says "Hey, how are you doing?" I respond with small talk about how great the weekend was and ask about hers. She responds the same and then says "I'm unpacking my room talk to you soon!" (She just moved into her house a week or so earlier. So what ever)

So this leads me to where I might have really messed up, unless something happened before then. So I see her at lunch on Thursday she comes over and talks to me and my friends and tells us how she is going to be back in later that evening to watch the kick off football game that was going to be on at 8 pm. We joked about football since she is really into it and I'm not.

The evening rolls around and I decide what the heck I'm going to stop down and say hi. I arrived and I happen to see another girl that I work with (who has a big crush on me) sit down with her and have a few drinks. So finally I happen to see the object of my desire arrive and walk to the bar. She scans the room and I'm sure see me with this other girl. She then proceeds to go and sit with a couple of guy friends of hers. (complete dorks as far as I can tell, plus the body language didn't suggest that anything was going on with them) At this point I decide to go over to her table and say hi, and make a joke about the game and what the score is. She introduces me to her friends and I'm chatting with her. She then says looks like your date is looking for you. I then proceed to tell her I'm not on a date and I work with her and happened to run into her. We talk a little longer and then I decide to just leave. When I get home I sent her a text that said "I didn't mean to piss you off or anything, and it was fun seeing you" She responds "You didn't piss me off" that's the last I've heard from her. That was Thursday night and now it's Sunday early evening.

So what do you all think? Did I mess up on our last date, or was her seeing me with another woman bad? It's not like we would talk everyday or anything but something certainly has changed. How did she go from being "hot" to being cold in the matter of a couple of days? Did she meet some else? Should I just move on or try something else with her. I did enjoy spending time with her and it seemed like she enjoyed me. One thing that I will add is that I don't think she has dated very much and I also think she is under the understanding that I'm some type of player or something. Which really I'm not, woman just seem to like me and I do enjoy talking to them but I'm a flirt more than anything else. Any thoughts that you might have would be great!

 

[cordoncordon]

Well since it sounds as thought she started to go cold on you before she saw you with your coworker, I doubt if that is the problem. In fact if anything it was good she saw you with her. Doesn't hurt to bring out a little jealousy now and again just to show her you have other options.

I would say it's one of two things. Either, she just decided after 4 dates she "just isn't that into you", or after 4 dates of not making a move sexually (and I don't mean kissing-I mean sex) she has "friend zoned" you. Either one is plausible. If you don't make a move on a woman after a certain amount of time, they just lose interest, think you are not man enough to do anything, and you are now her buddy. That night she invited you in for drinks was the night you failed to seal the deal. Had to get up early? What were you thinking lol? She wanted to play hide the sausage that is for sure.

As for the other possibility of just not being into you, it happens. Hell a friend of my gf's just got dumped by a guy after they saw each other for 2 months pretty much every day (at one point 21 straight days) and she was totally blindsided. She has no idea why. But, it happens.

 

[squirrels]

I'm not really sure what you're apologizing for.

Methinks MM is right...you should have escalated the intimacy when you were alone with her. Even if you didn't f**k her right there, at least show some physical attraction. Everyone thinks women get weirded out by men trying to sex them early in the relationship. If it's ALL you care about, maybe, but they're more likely to get weirded out if you don't try at ALL. They start to feel like they're wasting their time and they come to look at you as they would a friend or close relative. She probably thought she was spending too much "idle time" with you...didn't feel like it was really going anywhere. Especially since you're older than her. You don't want her to feel like she's dating her fbig brother or something...show some carnal interest.

Notice when you came over to say hello to her, she's trying to disqualify your other girl by pointing out her age. Which means she still has some interest. But I'll bet she's playing the field a little...you know, doing some of the typical "thinking too much" that women are known for.

I would act like nothing's wrong. If she starts becoming more distant, give her space. And there's NOTHING wrong with you seeing other women. After all, she's not your girlfriend yet. But the bottom line is either she wants to see you again or she doesn't. Don't send those bullsh!t texts asking whether she misses you, whether she's mad at you, etc...all that shows is beta-male behavior and anxiety. It also puts moral pressure on her to respond to you in the interest of politeness...which while it will satisfy your curiosity, REALLY freaks women out. A lot of guys make the mistake that guilt-tripping a girl into returning calls is a good move because it gets her talking to him, but it's relationship suicide.

Just call her up and invite her out to something fun again. And if you get her alone, put a move on her.

Oh, and cut this sh!t out:

So finally I happen to see the object of my desire arrive

"Object of My Desire"? This isn't a cheesy paperback novel and you're not Fabio. Treat her like a lady, not some unreachable angel. Or that's exactly what she'll become.

 

[zookeeper]

Wow quick responses

Wow you guys are quick! Thanks for the insight.

Whatever happens it's okay since I just started seeing her and haven't invested that much into it all. It just sort of threw me for a loop since I had her eating out of my hand in the beginning and then she went cold. It happens I know, I'm just used to it happening with a bigger bang normally so we know where we stand. My ex and I used to bring it to a head very quickly if something was up.

One thing I was doing was completing playing the I'm interested but have other things going on and in this case might have backfired on me. Maybe pushed it a little far.

Yeah I know I should have gotten the job done on our last date. That's completely a stupid move that won't happen again with her or the next one. Anyway it's fun being single again and the excitement that awaits is great! I highly recommend it.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo ZooKeeper,


MOST women are lifelong actresses. They have been perfecting their "craft" since birth. They are skilled at saying one thing and meaning another. They are skilled at acting one way while FEELING another way entirely. Many do this as some eschewed means of self-preservation or conflict avoidance. But there are also those who do this to RUN A POWER MOVE on you.

This is why you must always only be cautiously optimistic about whatever good signals a woman gives you early on in your romantic interactions with them. Many here believe that most women are so erratic only due to their inability to control their emotions. And while this may be true, I disagree that this is the ONLY reason. In fact, I believe that at least an EQUAL number of the more "maliciously manipulative" women really have quite a firm grasp on their emotions.

And those that fit THIS particular category are the ones who ACT, they put on a PERFORMANCE to attract you, to bait you in-------THEN that's when they "decide" whether or not to let you get within range to affect their emotions.

And if they find you "wanting" for any reason whatsoever, THAT'S when they drop your ass for what you may think is "no reason" whatsoever. In fact, it is because they have been ACTING all along that many women like this are even ABLE to do this.

You see, a man can only have a significant emotional impact on SOME women only when she opens the door to allow him to. And that's the objective of the whole ACTING scenario in a nutshell. If a woman deems you worthy enough for her to DROP HER ACT, then that announces the beginning of her willingness to expose herself emotionally to you.

And ironically, this also explains why the reverse is also true. Many guys in long term relationships WONDER how it is a woman that they have been with for years can (seemingly) drop them coldly, callously, and quickly at the END of the relationship.

Well NOW you know the reason, don't you, soldier?

It's because at some point she "decided" to close herself off emotionally towards them, and then, out of either self-preservation OR malicious manipulativeness, WENT BACK TO ACTING-----just like she was doing at the START of the relationship.

This is why you should NEVER put too much stock in how a woman "ACTS" around you UNTIL you have experienced at least 2 to 3 months of her demonstrating CONSISTENTLY good behavior towards you. This way, you at least have enough HISTORY with her to reference as you evaluate the legitimacy of her feelings towards you.

Is that clear?


Oh, and ZooKeeper...


...Welcome to the WAR, soldier.

 

[decades]

You had an opening by the lake. lost opportunity. It seems like you might be taking things a little slow for her. It also seems to me that she has you chasing her instead of her chasing you. you texting her. you calling her. you going over to her office. you going over to her table. you also didn't need to tell her this chick wasn't your GF. Could have made a joke (yeah I am in high demand aren't I? ;-)) about that left her wondering what's really going on. I think she knows you're inerested and is just making you chase. Make one more attempt to set up a date. If no response, sit back and let her do some chasing from then on.

 

[Metro3pilot]

1. missed opportunity @ the lake

( does this even need to be explained, have you seen the 40 yo virgin ? )

2. bringing another chick where you knew should would be

( I think social proof only works for the pickup not after you have kissed her, after that it just pisses them off as it would you if the situation was reveresed )

3. you're chasing her and you're over eager

( does it need to be explained ? )

sorry to say because you sound interested in her, but you need to put her on the back burner, leave her alone and let her come to you and find some more plates to spin.

:rockon:

 

[kingwilliam]

I would call her and ask her out........and then **** her. If she says she cant and makes up some rediculous excuse, then drop her and move on to the next one. Oh yeah, that girl from work, I would also go ahead and start hittin that too.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I could never get the attraction to the whole dating "on and off" thing. You typicaly break up for a good reason. If the reason isn't good enough, why break up? It just sounds like settling for a "good enough" situation.

 

[Latinoman]

1- No sex? You are 36 and she is 27. Which means that both of you should be in the same zone as a 35 or 36 year old man is the equivalent of a 27 or 28 year old woman. The best way to get a woman attached to you is via intimacy.

2- Very stupid of your part to sit with that woman. A woman that is probably sending you "I'm hot for you signals". Acceptable to say "Hi" and have some small talk (no drinks) and move on. But trying to get somebody jealous, especially when both of you already established are attracted to each other and have kissed was very foolish.

3- Your text message was amateurish. I am talking about the one that you implied she was pissed off. There is no need for that. And quite honestly...I feel that for a 36 year old man...you do WAY TOO MUCH texting. I rather deal with emails. More so than telephone conversation or Text or IMs. But nothing replaces face to face.

4- She does not contact you since Thursday and you STILL have not tried and contact her back? I know a lot of people try to play the "cool" game. Dude...I am a COOL guy...and when I want a woman...I contact her. It is not how often or how fast you contact a woman...instead it is how you approach and do the contacting.

5- Women do play the acting game. At this stage (in which you have not escalated with sex), you might as well "play along" to see if she is genuinely offended (after all, you are with a woman in the place in which this girl works) or if she is playing games. As long as you have control over the situation, you will be fine.

 

[joekerr31]

ok, some good posts so far.

heres my two cents....

you have done absolutely NOTHING wrong at this point. not a damn thing!

she should be appreciative that you were hanging out with her until 11pm when you had to get up at 4am - i know i wouldnt do that for a chic.

second, she IS upset with you, but who knows why. it started after the lake, escelated when she saw you with that chic, and now shes running in silent mode to either punish you / break it off with you.

so what can you do now? well, there are lots of things you can do.

should you call her? in my opnion? no.

and i'll tell you why. you've done NOTHING wrong so far and now are dealing with bullsh*t behavior on her part. what does that tell you? it tells you that if you are dealing with such behavior now, theres a LOT more of it to come.

STOP f*cking doing what all men seem to do and that is IMMEDIATELY assume that you have done something wrong when a woman gets upset with you. sh*t, most of the time you haven't done anything wrong, you're just dealing with your every day sh*t tests and mood swings.

who knows why she is upset? maybe she had a bad relationship before you and when you left the lake house she, like an emotional spoiled brat, took that as you not making her the focus of your attention. maybe she took that to mean you werent attracted enough to her to stay. whatever the case, whatever her issues, its HER issue.

DO NOT let her issues mess with your mind.

the best thing to do in this scenario is to put her out of your mind and move on to the next chic.

maybe ask the chic out who has a big crush on you (provided you are attracted to her).

but with this chic, consider her off the radar until she comes back to you. and i'll tell you why. it is also possible that she is pulling a power move here. she's withdrawing her attentions from you, which then forces you to escalate your pursuit of her, which subsequently make HER the prize.

which means that to get her back you have to cut your balls off - and no woman is worth that.

as far as im concerned this chic has three strikes against her:

1) making a snyde comment about who you were having a drink with (ie. assuming you were a 'dog' and dating other women without her knowledge)
2) being rude in response to your txt message (ie. the unpacking comment)
3) being rude again in response to your txt message (saying 'im not pissed at you' and then not talking to you after that)
4) (although this isn't necessarily a strike) when she walked in to the bar she ignored you and went and sat with her buddies. not a strike, but a sign that this chic is a game player. most women would have made eye contact and smiled and given you an opportunity to call them over and say hi.

its up to you as to whether you want to give her another strike or not.

and yet another point, if this chic is hanging out with a bunch of nerdy guys i guarantee you that she's probably getting a lot of male attention. she might not be interested in them, but nonetheless, their attention inflates her ego, which just make your job harder because she thinks more of herself than she should.

in closing, and i reiterate this yet again - DO NOT assume that YOU are the problem. if you haven't done anything wrong by your standards and a woman starts behaving stupidly then guess what? she's a nut job. she's a pain in the *ss now and she'll be 10x the pain in the *ss in a year from now.

it sounds like you've got options, SO USE THEM! forget this chic and get out there and start fishing for more.

 

[joekerr31]

oh, one other thing.... i guess a lot of guys on here have never been treated well by a woman.

but i can tell you this. when a woman is really in to you, things are EASY.

when you've been with a healthy, mature, functional woman who was also IN to you, you'll never spend a bunch of energy trying to keep an unhealthy, dysfunctional, immature woman around again.

its only becuase most guys seem to have only experienced these f*cked up broads that they consider it normal and put up with this sh*t.

 

[Latinoman]

Let's reverse the roles. HE is the manager of a restaurant.
He is expecting his date to meet him at his restaurant.
He walks and see his date having drinks and a cozy conversation with a man that is obviously interested on her.


Now...here is how I see things. In this particular scenario in which the roles have been reversed...the first thing that will cross my mind is why my date goes to my restaurant where everybody knows me and sits down to have drinks with a man that obviously is very interested on her. And does that in MY face in MY place. Even if she is doing nothing (e.g. not interested in the man)...she still failing me, because she is entretaining a man that wants to get in her pants.

Furthermore, there are ways of saying hi to a person that works with you from a different sex and that obviously is interested in you. You go to that persons table and say hi. You do NOT sit down and do NOT have several drinks and a conversation with that person...NOT in front of your date and in his/her place of employment.

Second, if I have moved to a new home or apartment and I get text messages after text messages from a woman that have gone to 4 dates with me (especially when we don't really talk that much during the week) at the worst of moments...when I am umpacking...I will reply to one or two and imply that I am busy. I am not going to be carrying my cell phone around. She did nothing wrong...she and he are not having sex. For all I know...he is just a date.

The BIGGEST mistake I see in this Forum is how men TRY VERY HARD to ACT like DJs by acting "Cool". If I want a woman...and I establish she is also very interested on me (this is important), then I PAY attention to that woman. And I do my DJ moves in front of her eyes. I try to see her and I try to get with her. I communicate and I show her that I am interested on her. I do all those things and she does not get bored, because I can literally talk about ANYTHING, I can literally do ANYTHING, and I always have something interesting in my life. To this day, ALL the women I have driven crazy I have communicate with literally every day...via email or by seeing them. Once I have sex or whatever, (which happens pretty quick because the chemical attraction is typically strong) and few days after that (not immediatelly), I still email or call but my PHYSICAL presence separates from them either by a business trip or because I want to be with my children. I want them to MISS the PHYSICAL Latinoman...not the abstract (B.S.) Latinoman. How do they know I am a very masculine being if I am not with them to show it by my natural actions?

 

[zookeeper]

Okay I figured I'd give everyone an update and clean up a few things.

The first one is on all of the texting and if I guy my age should be using it instead of calling etc. First off I work in the mobile phone industry and texting is second nature for me (even at my age). Second when I met her she was asking questions about her handset since I would know the answer and I noticed that she had a motorola q (which has a keyboard) anyway I asked her why she picked that one. Her response was oh for sending text messages and I send a lot of them. So I figured it was a good way reach her since it's her preferred form of communicating. Personally nothing is better than face to face for making an impression and connection but to fill in the blanks it seems to work.

The other thing is why I didn't push harder the night when everything seemed to be right. Well it did seem to be the perfect time to make it happen but while the evening was going well and heading in that direction it didn't feel like the right time. I've been with enough woman over the years to know when it's the right time, it just didn't feel like the right moment to go for it. Know what I mean?

Okay so for the update and my conclusion. So monday I don't see her or hear from her. Tuesday I see her at lunch. I happen to arrive early (well my work friends were late, they are all male by the way) so she comes over and sits with me. We chat and she is all flirty and smiles. Just small talk and I'm joking with her about the service and the food there. So my friends arrive and she goes back to work. So that evening rolls around and I'm out with some friends having a few drinks and I get a message from her asking "what was that kind of coffee that you said I should try?" I respond and tell her "Illy, why are you buying me a present?" She replied "No, I'm just buying some beer,wine, and coffee at World Market" A little more small talk, with me making a few jokes about her.

Now it's Thursday and I haven't heard from her or contacted her. Latinoman I agree with your point that sometimes guys might play it too cool. If you want something go for it right? I agree but every situation is different and sometimes you just know it will fall in place and others you think you need t to play it cool.

My over all conclusion at this point is if something happens fine but I'm not going to spend much more time even thinking about it. One trait that I've noticed about younger woman is that they are so flaky about stuff sometimes. Could be a case of not being that into me but it really seems to be more of general attitude that they have about things. Normally this behavior is reserved for woman even younger then this one. She is 26 soon to be 27 next month but I'm afraid not very experienced when if comes to dating. So time will tell, when the timing is right and the mood I may ask her out again. Besides I have my eye on another hottie that has been looking pretty good lately. Being single is pretty cool!

 

[Latinoman]

Zoo...you originally left some facts out (the texting one being a big one). I have a blackberry...so, email is better for me as I can write a little more and even get them thinking. I avoid telephone conversations as much as I can, because if she does not answer, it takes the focus away. My emails are my foreplay.


But enough of that. Based on what I'm reading...it appears that you might have OVERREACTED a little. And looking back...talking with that woman was NOT a bad idea (the co-worker that has the hots for you). I still stand by the fact that you sat down with her and had a few drinks...no cool there. But talking with her for a few minutes was more than good. Women KNOW when others are attracted to you. And it is important that your "new" woman understands that. Because it makes her realize that she is not the only one out there that finds you attractive.

Based on the update...this woman is interested in you. But, trust me on this....you MUST escalate. If you are making up in all four dates...one of them have to lead to sex. Does not have to be the perfect scenario...it just have to be good enough. Especially if both of you are into each other. And it is obvious that you like this woman a LOT (nothing wrong with that).

I am going to PM you something about coffee.

 

[blueguy]

I don't have much time to read all of the introduction and the responses. But I do agree with and the first thing that popped into my mind is what squirrels said. You've had 4 dates with her and have not escalated the intimacy. She probably has a feeling it is going nowhere. Then she sees you with another chick and thinks you're not into her and must be fukking other girls instead.

There is a vast generalization that women have: if you're not trying to get into their pants as quickly as possible, then you're not interested in her. So a guess (and who knows since this is judging by text) is that she has been acting all along while really thinking inside (why the hell hasn't he done anything yet?) Well, now she's pissed and tired of waiting, thinks you're not interested, and it's all coming out unexpectedly and suddenly (in your eyes) in the end.

 

[Latinoman]

I don't have much time to read all of the introduction and the responses. But I do agree with and the first thing that popped into my mind is what squirrels said. You've had 4 dates with her and have not escalated the intimacy. She probably has a feeling it is going nowhere. Then she sees you with another chick and thinks you're not into her and must be fukking other girls instead.

There is a vast generalization that women have: if you're not trying to get into their pants as quickly as possible, then you're not interested in her. So a guess (and who knows since this is judging by text) is that she has been acting all along while really thinking inside (why the hell hasn't he done anything yet?) Well, now she's pissed and tired of waiting, thinks you're not interested, and it's all coming out unexpectedly and suddenly (in your eyes) in the end.

The only time I don't escalate with a particular woman is if I have 2 or 3 other women on the works...and, you can rest assure that ONE of them is getting escalation.



Oh, I have escalated at the same time with 4 of 5 plates I was spinning...and I eneded up having sex with all 4 of them within a 72 hour period. And quite honestly, I am career oriented, and want to also focus on my children, so...decided to do the "one at the time" approach. Three of the 4 wanted a relationship (the 4th was "happily married" but implied that she wanted to continue the affair)...after a while, you forget who you shared certain story with. Things get confusing.

I personally prefer relationships, especially if I manage to meet a good woman that I know is going to respect me. So...now I escalate with one when I have two or more plates and I talk with the others...if the one I escalate becomes pain in the butt...then I go to the next...if one have the basic requirements for a relationship...then I jump on that. I prefer condomless sex and I would NEVER get in a relationship with a woman that I cannot trust in that aspect of sex. I like doing things too (such as going out to places) and with my kids (as I try to set an example for them), it is better if I go out with one woman at the time.

I went in a tangent here.

Escalation...important.

 

[logic1]

oh, one other thing.... i guess a lot of guys on here have never been treated well by a woman.

but i can tell you this. when a woman is really in to you, things are EASY.

when you've been with a healthy, mature, functional woman who was also IN to you, you'll never spend a bunch of energy trying to keep an unhealthy, dysfunctional, immature woman around again.

its only becuase most guys seem to have only experienced these f*cked up broads that they consider it normal and put up with this sh*t.

Zookeeper

Read the above post very closely. It contains a lot of truths.

It seems the advice on this forum contradicts itself in many ways, keep this in mind.

I cannot justify the lack of sex as a reason. If anything she would be all tied up in knots over the anticipation of what is to come if she is really into you. This reason is one way on one thread and another way in another thread. Thus the contridictions. Your comment on the time being right is dead on. I agree you want it to happen when everything is a 100%. You want to give her an experience she will never forget. So I'm with you on the timing. Bad timing which could turn into terrible sex will send her packing also. It works both ways.

I feel your only mistake was the 18 year old type comments by texting. I dont care what business you are in. The only way to go is phone or in person. And if you get voicemail leave a message.

The only thing you left out is the type of dates. She is 27 and if they were all dinner dates could be a problem. I'm 46 and that would bore me to death (next). She might want more excitement, fun , ect.

I'm thinking she still wants you in a bad way. The beer, wine and coffee comments. Think about it. You might have missed a date opprotunity. Unless she is throwing a party for someone else.

JMO

 

[zookeeper]

As for the "dates":

1. Just drinks, no dinner. Talked for 2 1/2 hours, kiss goodnight.

2. Spur of the moment, sushi / sake after I happened to see her at her work and we left to go to another place. Made out for a bit.

3. Hung out with her and her girl friend for her friends birthday. Had a few drinks, no dinner.

4. Dinner date, lake house etc.

One positive thing is that she has almost always paid her own way, I always offer but that's been refreshing that she wants to pay.

 

[zookeeper]

Another update

Just an update...

Thursday night after work I decided to stop down at her work and have a few drinks and see what was up with her. I get there and she was off of work but hanging around playing a video game with her girlfriend and coworker. Said a friendly hello with a smile and then went to the bar and sat down. From where I was sitting I could see her out of the corner of my eye. She keep playing with here hair and looking over my way. After about 10 minutes or so she walks over with her friend and says mind if we join you. And I responded "sure as long as your good and keep your hands off me." She sat down and gave me a smile. So we exchange small talk and I'm sure to play the ****y and funny role as much as seems fit for the setting.

So at one point I say "I was thinking that maybe I'd give you another chance to take me out and do something" She didn't really respond directly to what I said other than she said "I just read a review about the place where we had dinner at" I responded was the review good? Since we had really bad service there and the food seemed ok. But she said the reviewer liked the place. I pick the place out hadn't been there in a while and now that they have new owners it seemed to go down hill. Anyway I asked her out in a jokingly way and she didn't answer. Might have caught her off guard or maybe she doesn't want to go?

So we talk some more and it's getting later and her friend wants to play the video game some more. I over hear them saying one more game and lets go home. She had to give her girlfriend a ride home I guess. So as they are getting up to play some more she tells me I can join them if I like. I say well I'm getting ready to leave but I'll stop by and say goodbye before I go.

I finish my drink and get up to leave and go over to where they are at. Fun watching her play the game, she has a very nice a$$! I say my goodbye and ask her again "So if you want to make me dinner or take me out that would be cool with me" She responded "well not tonight" Then I reply "I wasn't meaning tonight, anyway I have to go" then I leave.

So was I playing it too hard with the I'm the prize and you need to step it up to be with me? Later I thought that I should have just asked her directly with out playing games. But I really want to make sure I turn the tables on her and make her case me and not the other way around.

It's Monday morning now and I haven't contacted her and she hasn't contacted me either so I'm just figuring out the next move. Plus I've been busy all weekend dealing with my ex and how she wants to get back together and all that crap.