What do you do when you go to bars alone?

[Zircon916]

I think I'm going to start going to bars by myself every night to pratice my game without the crutch of being with my friends. I don't really have any idea how this works or what I'm suppose to do when I get there. I plan on going during the weekday so it shouldn't be too crowded, as in I should be able to sit at the bar and order a drink right away so I can't BS like I'm sitting waiting for my beer.

So after I sit down at the bar and start drinking my beer, what the hell am I suppose to do? How do I not look creepy sitting by myself drinking while watching tv or whatever? I would think the obvious thing to do would be to start some random conversation with the bartender but I'd figure thats risky since if the bartender gets busy and can't really chit chat I'd be screwed.

So how do you guys work the bars solo? Really need some advice since I plan on either starting today or at the latest tomorrow.

 

[MisterMcGee]

1 question: Why a bar, of all things?

 

[Zircon916]

Uh, why not?

 

[Duffdog]

going to a bar by yourself is fine for some people. Myself included. Don't worry about feeling awkward around the bartender. Talk to him/her about what the cool nights are to come there, what the team is doing (if you are into sports), favorite drink, etc. During the week, most bartenders are bored out of their mind. A bar used to be a place to go to unwind, where you did not have to feel that you have to impress anyone. This may have changed as of late.

When a pair of random girls come sit next to you (which always happens in bars) start talking to them. They will undoubtedly ask you why you are by yourself. Explain that you wanted to do something different and you don't mind going out by yourself.

The last time I went to a bar by myself, it was very relaxing for me. I wasn't impressing anyone and just wanted to visit the bartender because she was my friend. While I was there that time, I chatted up a pair of girls and took them home. There should be no pressure to do anything you don't want to do. But please, try to find some reason why you are going there. It could be really simple, like "I wanted to have a few shots and watch the game" or whatever.

 

[Lord Shinra]

going to a bar by yourself is fine for some people. Myself included. Don't worry about feeling awkward around the bartender. Talk to him/her about what the cool nights are to come there, what the team is doing (if you are into sports), favorite drink, etc. During the week, most bartenders are bored out of their mind. A bar used to be a place to go to unwind, where you did not have to feel that you have to impress anyone. This may have changed as of late.

When a pair of random girls come sit next to you (which always happens in bars) start talking to them. They will undoubtedly ask you why you are by yourself. Explain that you wanted to do something different and you don't mind going out by yourself.

The last time I went to a bar by myself, it was very relaxing for me. I wasn't impressing anyone and just wanted to visit the bartender because she was my friend. While I was there that time, I chatted up a pair of girls and took them home. There should be no pressure to do anything you don't want to do. But please, try to find some reason why you are going there. It could be really simple, like "I wanted to have a few shots and watch the game" or whatever.

Thats usually what I do. Just try to always smile or something and not look like your plotting revenge.

Chat around.. shoot pool (if pool tables are available) do sh1t like that. Going out alone is someting I like to do. Although I tend to hit up coffee joints and bookstores more so then bars.

 

[Lord Shinra]

**** Sorry double post*****

 

[nmartinez12443]

Pick a bar that is packed and trust me there are places that have specials especially on wednesdays and thursdays and it gets even more packed than saturday. That will create a party atmosphere and no one will even notice your by yourself and they asked just say, "I am meeting my friends or I am looking for my friends". Just look for two sets and just have conversation. The tough part is when your in a dull moment in which your not talking to anyone. Your best bet is a large place in which you can keep moving and that is packed.

However, you ultimate goal should be talking to women and getting numbers. Approaching women is the #1 problem most people have. (including myself, but 3 drinks help)

 

[Solomon]

I think I'm going to start going to bars by myself every night to pratice my game without the crutch of being with my friends. I don't really have any idea how this works or what I'm suppose to do when I get there. I plan on going during the weekday so it shouldn't be too crowded, as in I should be able to sit at the bar and order a drink right away so I can't BS like I'm sitting waiting for my beer.

So after I sit down at the bar and start drinking my beer, what the hell am I suppose to do? How do I not look creepy sitting by myself drinking while watching tv or whatever? I would think the obvious thing to do would be to start some random conversation with the bartender but I'd figure thats risky since if the bartender gets busy and can't really chit chat I'd be screwed.

So how do you guys work the bars solo? Really need some advice since I plan on either starting today or at the latest tomorrow.

This is the Solomon Technique, works like crack

1. Walk in the bar, like you own it, Pratice your walk if you have too (models do this all the time), don't look around like an idiot, but also don't look to straight ahead, keep it balance, head straight to the bathroom (to freshen up) or the bar

2. Get a drink, open up the bartender and what not

3. Calibrate the situation, is it busy? is it dead? I tend to open up a pratice set, typically just to get rid of the pregame jitters. If it's busy I just scope the place out for a second

4. Open, Open OPen, I find a target to build social proof, typically a group of males, its easy, something I might say is "hey you guys, come here often? whats a good drink here?" introduce your self, smile be confident yet non-thretheing

5. Don't stick to the Social proof all night, work the room, don't approach to approach however (it's cool but remember to stick to the objective) get to the target, my game is like a tea kettle i need to warm up, when I approach my target I wanna be on fire

6. Go with the flow of the night, sometimes It may end up on the dance floor, sometimes at the bar, hell maybe even making out with someone

always remember the success to this is to have fun and be naturally confident

Solo

 

[Zircon916]

After reading some of these post I'm still not quite sure this is for me but I'll give it a try anyway, at least for one night.

So the main thing I'm afraid of is being able to start up a conversation with the bartender once I get there. It seems like if that doesn't work I'm seriously screwed. If for whatever reason the bartender is not receptive to conversation (who knows, maybe she might be a stuck up bitc.h?) I'm confined to drinking my beer and watching the game or whatever else might be on (and I'm not even into sports). I'll look like a weirdo all night.

 

[bud_2005]

Most importantly go into with a positive attitude. It takes balls to go the bar alone though.

 

[horaholic]

After reading some of these post I'm still not quite sure this is for me but I'll give it a try anyway, at least for one night.

So the main thing I'm afraid of is being able to start up a conversation with the bartender once I get there. It seems like if that doesn't work I'm seriously screwed. If for whatever reason the bartender is not receptive to conversation (who knows, maybe she might be a stuck up bitc.h?) I'm confined to drinking my beer and watching the game or whatever else might be on (and I'm not even into sports). I'll look like a weirdo all night.

Its the bartenders JOB to talk to you, especially if its slow. Thats the easy part. I bang more bartendresses than patrons because they ARE easier to talk to. If they wont talk to you, there is probably something wrong with you. Stuck up bytches get fired, cuz people dont want to be served by them. Most bartenders are AW's by nature, which means they want you to talk to them. The key to bartenders is to neg them, and thumbwar them, since that is the only kind of kino you can do while they are working. They are the BEST game practice. They are YOUR server, get it?

Besides, you're there to talk to the patrons anyway, so do it. Even if it's a bunch of guys. They just might have friends that will show up, and they might even be girls. If people aren't talking to you, buy a round of shots. They'll be your buddy REAL quick. Usually someone will chat you up anyway, just be friendly, and play pool or something.

 

[Zircon916]

Thanks for the info, it seems I just have to go in there with the right mindset and confidence. I'll give it a try.

 

[EFFORT]

After reading some of these post I'm still not quite sure this is for me but I'll give it a try anyway, at least for one night.

If you really want to get comfortable going out to bars alone, doing it one time isn't going to cut it, you'll probably hate it at first but just keep going and eventually you'll get it down.

 

[Nutz]

Go early and make friends with the people working there. Especially befriend the bouncers and similar people that don't have people in their face all the time like bartenders do. You can use those stationary folks as jumping off points to open sets. Once you get a few safety sets secured then you can just build up your mini social circle in the venue.

 

[Someone Much cooler]

I actually always used to go to bars and clubs alone. Every sat and friday. I suall establish rapport by asking about other local clubs, exchanging college info...My biggest Technique is to dance with evey girl in the pack (girls always travel in packs=think security blanket) I compliment each of them in their ear as i grind with them. Usually most guys think that irls will take them as a player if you do this, they dont it makes you thelife of the party, and if one declines smile and say dont be scared i wont hurt you on "my" dance floor. Then i playfully ask the friend why the other is so chicken =)

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

I've done it few times.Even when i go with my wings , we separate and we sarge solo but help each other when we need help.

Anyway , about sarging solo, here are two main steps :

1. Preparing yourself to go out alone

Be ready as always. Remember , you're there to make progress , to get out of your comfort zone , to practice game and the second you get rejected , you just hit restart button and start the game from the beginning. Im saying this because you need to get over rejection. In all means. Rejection should not affect you. Or you'll get stucked in your head for the rest of the night thinking why im being rejected.

Everyone gets rejected . Tim (on flawless natural ) says that you should use " MISS 5 APPROACHED " to generate fury. He says that you can get rejected about 5 times until you get your sh1t together(vocal projection , body language etc.) .
So don't worry. Just go there to have fun and make progress on your game and be ready to meet some cool/fvcked up people .
Also , try to hit the state before going out.


2.Stepping in the club

The second that you get inside , you should approach the first fvcking set that you see. I dont care if they are a mixed group , or they are fvcking fat and ugly. FIRST SET.

Approach them with whatever you want , opinion or natural opener. Just approach :cuss: .

Dont scan the bar , dont try to get a drink , don't go to bathroom. Just approach the first set. Than second , than third . Every set.

By now , youll be in talkative mode , and you'll know most of the people in the bar. Now you can decide who's worth your time and who's not.

I will be waiting for your report. Hit me up with a PM when you write your report down .




Peace

DaddyThePimp

 

[Magma]

Some of my most fruitful evenings have occurred midweek solo at the bar. My routine was basically laid out by Solomon, so I won't beat a dead horse. I think the midweek solo bar sarge should be in everyone's toolbox as an option. Shoot, there have been plenty of times where I just went down to the corner bar to unwind and have ended up with backseat BJ's or full-blown lays.

I would advise against the weekend solo bar sarge. But you should be able to handle yourself alone, in case you get separated from your group. I think a lot of guys on here that rag on the solo bar sarge are really just afraid to go out and actually do it without the aid of a "wingman" or whatever. Sarging solo is like freeclimbing. It's just you out there, without the aid of a buddy.

In fact, I got laid last night whilst out solo (which is why I felt a post in this thread was necessary and timely). Took her to my home, slammed her in her can, and was back out again by midnight to meet up with a buddy. Not to mention this little gem. I've had some crazy nights when I'm out by myself. The solo bar sarge can be lucrative. And that statement comes from my experience, bottom line.

Here is the key to the solo sarge: you ARE NOT out to pick up women. That should be your mindset.

Respect.

 

[Zircon916]

Update!!


Ok, I'm suprised I had the courage to actually go through with this but I went and let me tell you it didn't feel anywhere as weird as I thought it would feel. I actually felt alright being at the bar by myself. However...

I really do think I need a complete change in strategy for me to actually get anything useful out of my new venture. First of all, the bar was fvcking packed. It didn't look that much different from a saturday night. Needless to say all the bartenders were ping ponging around the bar the whole time so actually starting up a conversation with them was impossible. As soon as I walked in the bar I knew I was going to be flying this completely solo.

Some first time observations about the bar scene from the perspective of someone who isn't with their friends. For one, EVERYBODY ELSE IS with their friends. I never realized how much people go to bars in packs until i was not in one myself. When I hit up the bars on the weekends I usually roll with about 10-15 people, and it looks like so does everybody else! As I was sitting at the bar drinking my beer just observing, I seriously didn't really see a group of people less than 6. In fact most are 10+ deep huddled within their own groups. I sat there and realized as long as I have been going to bars (years), I have never had some random dude approach our group and start talking to us. I see why.

Anyway I need to rethink my strategy. My goal is to pick up women, or at least talk to women to pratice my conversation skills, and that definately aint happening in that kind of environment. The bars could be packed on a tuesday because its the holidays, who knows, but I think the first thing I need to do is start going way earlier, maybe around 8 or 9, what do you guys think?

Also, I was thinking about picking up a few "bar skills" to kill time and to look busy instead of just sitting at the bar watching TV or whatever. Maybe learn how to play darts or something? Or start only going to bars with pool tables? Can you guys think of anything else that would help me out?

 

[Zircon916]

Also one more think I want to ask. How long should I give the scene before I call it and go home? Tonight I was only there for 30 mins before I said fvck it. Do I need to wait it out longer? Even if I'm not really going anything?

 

[dbot]

Hitting up the bars by yourself is fun and easy to do. I don't normally pick up girls at bars, but I go alone all the time because I can do whatever I want without having to worry about keeping my friends company or entertaining them.

When you first arrive, scan the place to see if there are any other dudes there by themselves. If there are, then you have it made. It doesn't really matter if they're 30 years older than you, make your way to them and say what's up. Introduce yourself, ask them what they do, etc. More likely than not they'll be excited to talk to you. Guess what? You're no longer alone at the bar. Shoot the sh*t for a couple of minutes, tell him you'll be back, and bounce on over to another guy. If you're the only one who seems to be alone, then find a couple of other guys who don't seem to be very social, and start chatting them up. Come on, talking to guys should be easy.

After you introduce yourself and make friends with 4 or 5 different guys or groups, you've suddenly become the popular guy who seems to be making the rounds and talking to everyone. Now you should feel a lot more comfortable and shouldn't have a problem diving into bigger groups or picking up girls with friends and no wing.