What Chicks are worth....?

[acw]

What Chicks are worth keeping as friends...???

I was just pondering this quetion after getting off the phone with a chick friend of mine (we dated once but it didn't go anywhere. her 2 kids and 2 x's turned me off) who's a very nice girl.

She's useful in some respects...but i always wanted to bang her just once...and never got any (sigh). I guess this will always be the case (although now that i think about it...there are some girls i have taken out but have no interest in screwing...)

And then it occured to me that i don't have any rules for keeping girls as just friends.

I'm thinking about all the chicks i have dated...how many of them can i call friends?

Would they be useful as friends...if so then how?

If not as friends then what the Hell good Are they?

Are they going to promote me and my business....Maybe?

I gotta get some mileage of this....help me out.

I gotta come up with some rules for keeping Girls that i have dated as friends...that is if they serve any useful purpose.

What are some of your rules (or do you just forget um)?

 

[Luveno]

I've only ever befriended one girl that I had dated.

When it comes to befriending women, its not very different from befriending men ; you look for honesty, integrity, fun, and basically someone who'd take the day to help you move your stuff if you were moving into a new apartment.

The issue is that most women do not have the same qualities of loyalty that men do. Whether its inherent or cultural, or a combination, is not known.

I'd say draw upon your experiences with her and find out if she would be one of those people, or if she already has been. If you see this within her, she'd make a valuable friend. Most women, however, do not have this honor.

At that point, keep in touch from a safe distance only to be able to get something out of her should the opportunity arise in the future.

 

[jophil28]

Similar (or the same) rules apply to keeping women as "friends" as having them as girlfriends. To me the only difference in expectations is that you do not pursue her,or want to sleep with her. On that note, if you DO still want her sexually, do not agree to be "just friends", you will be setting yourself up for a long pointless chase .

* THey must want YOU in their life more than you want them . Their overall IL in you still needs to be higher.
* Look for and expect the same level of honesty and respect that you would from a G/f. If she breaks a promise, makes lame excuses or flakes, she is gone.
* I would only continue a friendship with a woman I dated if I dumped her , not the other way around.

There may be other requirements ?

 

[edger]

Chicks are worth being f*cked and being c*mmed on. As long as I'm emptyimg my load all over them on a regular basis, I'm a happy guy.

I don't keep women around, unless they're hot and I'm f*cking them. If they're not hot, then they're poor social proof(I would think a lot of people would assume you're f*cking her)...and that's the last thing I need, unless I want to be undersexed the rest of my life. That's not to say though I still wouldn't be kind to them and treat them like human beings.

 

[acw]

-I'm starting to think of their usefulness. If i can use them as a advocate for my business....then its kewl.

I can make some money by expanding my network and if they are spreading goodwill about me...i can live with it.

But if they are just sponging off me...or just turn out to be plain worthless...then i'm gonna 86 them.

Chicks can be useful as props too....you bring um with you to clubs or shopping (of course, everything is dutch and you don't pay shat or just a cup of Joe).

Gotta salvage something for my time....

 

[speed dawg]

Just like any other PEOPLE in general, chicks are worth what they want to be worth. It all starts with the self-respect.

Rules you ask? There aren't rules. I respect people who respect themselves and respect others, regardless of their beliefs.

 

[STR8UP]

One of my business partners always uses the saying

"What's the best way to make a million dollars?"

"Start with two million"

Same principal applies to women. You want one woman? Be seen in a public place with two other women flirting with you. Their body language ALONE will be enough to amp up attraction from other women.

They don't even have to be super attracted to you, they just have to see you as a sexual being (this totally backfires with women who have friendzoned you). They also don't have to be supermodel attractive. The hotter the better, but even if they are only reasonably attractive it's enough to spark competition anxiety from other women who are in the proximity.

What are the rules?

1) You immediately discard any woman who has placed you in the friend zone. Doesn't mean you have to be fukking all of them, but they all have to respect you as a man and respect your sexuality.

2) When in doubt, refer to rule #1

There really is only one rule, and that is avoiding women who have de-sexualized you.

Oh yea....and always make sure there is a healthy mix of testosterone around. Sitting around with half a dozen chicks talking celebrity gossip is a no-no. Surrounded by half a dozen chicks on the dancefloor of a club is awesome. Point is- if you are in a small group situation you don't want to be the only dude. You will likely lose value in their eyes and yours.

 

[Colossus]

Some of my best friendships are with girls. I think it's important (and healthy) to have close male and female friends. Women offer a different type of friendship than a mate. Not necessarily better or worse, just different.

There are some strict guidelines you should adhere to, however:

-Never befriend a girl who dumped you
-Never pursue a friendship with a girl you actively want to have sex with. They key word here is ACTIVELY. You may not kick her out of bed if it was the right moment, but you shouldnt want to rip her clothes off every time you see her.
-Most successful female friendships start with the basis of her being more interested in you.
-Physical attraction (on her part) is often the glue that keeps a friendship together, initially.
-Never pursue a friendship with ulterior motives of an LTR or eventual sex.
-She should obviously be a girl you like and respect.


ALL of my female friends, some of whom are very close, wanted me very much at one point or another. A couple probably still would accept an advance from me. But the key here is I never felt the same way about them. I even slept with a couple of them, but it was just sex. We moved on and stayed friends.


To all you guys who see women as nothing more than walking cvm rags, you have a warped view that is not going to bring you any sort of fulfillment in life. You can call me a 'moraliser' or whatever sort of ad-hominem label you want, but all you are doing is sidestepping the fact that you have some festering bitterness towards some past event or persons. I dont even like to comment on these things any more but it makes me sick. This place used to have a lot more men who respected themselves and, by natural extension, other human beings.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you're not ƒucking her, you're her girlfriend.

Of the literally thousands of threads I've read about a guy with "friend" problems with a girl there are universally two terms the guy will use:

She's just my friend, I'm not trying to bang her.

and

I just hang out with them like they were guys.

,...every time man, every time.


First off lets cover the common term "hang out." This is a catch-all term many AFCs use to justify their behaviors. "Me and my girl-friends hang out together all the time, what's the big deal?" So, what exactly are you doing when you're hanging out? More talking perhaps? You see 'hanging out' is a nice general term, but you've got to be doing something, right? What is it that you do? Is there a difference in what you do with your same sex friends? You see if I tell my wife "Honey, I'm taking my friend Alice to church on Sunday morning" that's a whole lot different than me saying "Honey, I meeting up with Alice for drinks on Friday night," the difference is in what we're doing.

Of course the next thing a prepared AFC will trot out is 'common interests'. Common interest means a mutuality of interest; in other words she's into what you are and you're into what she is. Thus if you're into pro wrestling and muscle cars she must also be. If she's into painting her toenails and talking about cute boys on her bed on a Thursday night you must be also. Now that's black & white, but it comes back to what exactly it is you're doing together - as friends. You see, when two guys are into doing the same thing it's called 'common interest', but when a man and a woman enjoy the same thing it's called 'compatibility'. This of course dovetails into how men will make concessions based on sex. How many guys suddenly have an "epiphany" about modern art because their female 'friend' does in comparison to if their male friend asked them to go along to the museum? Once again, friendship mitigated by gender differences.

Another very common rationale AFCs like to use is the "sex by association" reasoning for befriending women. The idea behind this is that associating with one female "friend" will pivot into sex with another one of her friends. The assumption is that this "friend" is kind of like having a letter of recommendation for a guy to hook up with another one of her friends. The premise is ridiculous in itself, but as convenient as this may seem the notion is loaded with inconsistencies.

First, in this context, your inter-gender friendship is once again founded on your own sexual ambitions as a guy - thus a disingenuous friendship to begin with. More often than not guys will justify agreeing to a LJBF rejection from the girl they wanted to get with by using this excuse. However, assuming that you did establish a completely platonic, organic friendship with a woman, this reasoning presumes she has more than a few girlfriends, they're attractive enough to want to date, they're single, and they too don't see you as "friendship" material since you've already established you're a non-sexual threat with the original friend.

A common AFC mistake is to think that friendship will lead to sex. It's counterintuitive to most AFCs that anxiety and discomfort are the primary elements to sexual tension. In his mind friendship leads to comfort and comfort leads to sex. And why wouldn't he believe this when he's been told by countless girls (and more than a few fellow AFCs) that she "needs to feel comfortable with him before she'll do that"? So the natural progression to him is to establish friendships and qualify himself for her intimacy. What he fails to realize is that he has it backwards - it's discomfort and sexual anxiety that leads to sex, and then to friendship. Most AFCs lack the confidence to engage in the very important, very necessary, phase of seduction and tension, and move directly into comfort and rapport.

Now, lets apply this to your female friend's other girlfriends. Women talk. In fact it's all they do most of the time. To invoke POOK here: "If a friend she sees a friend you will always be." Your status as a friend gets transferred to her girlfriends. Why?

First, if she was a prior target for you who turned into a LJBF you already have that as the foundation of your friendship. Any of her girlfriends that would subsequently date you will know that she was your primary interest initially - not them. Secondly, assuming you had a completely innocuous, asexual, platonic beginning to your inter-gender friendship, there will be competition anxiety with the other girlfriends. This will result in a tendency for the original friend to filter your exposure to which of her girlfriends she finds the least threatening.

Finally, to complete the circle here, all of this leads up to understanding that your female friend will NEVER be one of your guy friends. This silly notion is founded on the expectation that your female friend will hold the same interests and have the same reactions that your male friends will. Women are never going to be your wingmen. One of the great downfalls of men today is too much female influence in their lives, to the point that it's become a social stigma. Beware the guy with too many, or exclusively female friends. This might make for the plot of stupid movies, but most women are wary of guys with so many female friends that they question their being able to relate with and be Men.

 

[PeeGee]

I tend to not keep female friends for more than 3-4 years at the most. Either we drift apart because we have our own lives or I outgrow them/lose interest in them.

This thread seems to have two topics: girls you have dated and girls you want to date.

Girls you have dated: why keep them around? If you broke up and there's no bad blood, then fine. But if you broke up and still harbor 'what if' feelings, it's always better to cut ties until you get over it.

Girls you want to date: I tend to require knowing a little about a girl before I make a move on them. This means I have to act fast for new friends, or I find myself liking a friend more than I should after she probably put me on the friend 'ladder'.

It doesn't happen often but when it does I have to cut ties with them until / if I get over them. And frankly if I get over a girl, I don't bother looking them up any more (why would I want to associate with somebody I no longer feel attached to?)

Ultimately I feel the best way to make a decision is to figure out whether you have more emotional investment in a girl than she does to you, and act based on that, rather than your own emotional investment as the reasoning. Especially since you are not dating/sleeping together.

 

[Duffdog]

Women have boyfriends and girlfriends. If you're not ƒucking her, you're her girlfriend.

Of the literally thousands of threads I've read about a guy with "friend" problems with a girl there are universally two terms the guy will use:



and



,...every time man, every time.


First off lets cover the common term "hang out." This is a catch-all term many AFCs use to justify their behaviors. "Me and my girl-friends hang out together all the time, what's the big deal?" So, what exactly are you doing when you're hanging out? More talking perhaps? You see 'hanging out' is a nice general term, but you've got to be doing something, right? What is it that you do? Is there a difference in what you do with your same sex friends? You see if I tell my wife "Honey, I'm taking my friend Alice to church on Sunday morning" that's a whole lot different than me saying "Honey, I meeting up with Alice for drinks on Friday night," the difference is in what we're doing.

Of course the next thing a prepared AFC will trot out is 'common interests'. Common interest means a mutuality of interest; in other words she's into what you are and you're into what she is. Thus if you're into pro wrestling and muscle cars she must also be. If she's into painting her toenails and talking about cute boys on her bed on a Thursday night you must be also. Now that's black & white, but it comes back to what exactly it is you're doing together - as friends. You see, when two guys are into doing the same thing it's called 'common interest', but when a man and a woman enjoy the same thing it's called 'compatibility'. This of course dovetails into how men will make concessions based on sex. How many guys suddenly have an "epiphany" about modern art because their female 'friend' does in comparison to if their male friend asked them to go along to the museum? Once again, friendship mitigated by gender differences.

Another very common rationale AFCs like to use is the "sex by association" reasoning for befriending women. The idea behind this is that associating with one female "friend" will pivot into sex with another one of her friends. The assumption is that this "friend" is kind of like having a letter of recommendation for a guy to hook up with another one of her friends. The premise is ridiculous in itself, but as convenient as this may seem the notion is loaded with inconsistencies.

First, in this context, your inter-gender friendship is once again founded on your own sexual ambitions as a guy - thus a disingenuous friendship to begin with. More often than not guys will justify agreeing to a LJBF rejection from the girl they wanted to get with by using this excuse. However, assuming that you did establish a completely platonic, organic friendship with a woman, this reasoning presumes she has more than a few girlfriends, they're attractive enough to want to date, they're single, and they too don't see you as "friendship" material since you've already established you're a non-sexual threat with the original friend.

A common AFC mistake is to think that friendship will lead to sex. It's counterintuitive to most AFCs that anxiety and discomfort are the primary elements to sexual tension. In his mind friendship leads to comfort and comfort leads to sex. And why wouldn't he believe this when he's been told by countless girls (and more than a few fellow AFCs) that she "needs to feel comfortable with him before she'll do that"? So the natural progression to him is to establish friendships and qualify himself for her intimacy. What he fails to realize is that he has it backwards - it's discomfort and sexual anxiety that leads to sex, and then to friendship. Most AFCs lack the confidence to engage in the very important, very necessary, phase of seduction and tension, and move directly into comfort and rapport.

Now, lets apply this to your female friend's other girlfriends. Women talk. In fact it's all they do most of the time. To invoke POOK here: "If a friend she sees a friend you will always be." Your status as a friend gets transferred to her girlfriends. Why?

First, if she was a prior target for you who turned into a LJBF you already have that as the foundation of your friendship. Any of her girlfriends that would subsequently date you will know that she was your primary interest initially - not them. Secondly, assuming you had a completely innocuous, asexual, platonic beginning to your inter-gender friendship, there will be competition anxiety with the other girlfriends. This will result in a tendency for the original friend to filter your exposure to which of her girlfriends she finds the least threatening.

Finally, to complete the circle here, all of this leads up to understanding that your female friend will NEVER be one of your guy friends. This silly notion is founded on the expectation that your female friend will hold the same interests and have the same reactions that your male friends will. Women are never going to be your wingmen. One of the great downfalls of men today is too much female influence in their lives, to the point that it's become a social stigma. Beware the guy with too many, or exclusively female friends. This might make for the plot of stupid movies, but most women are wary of guys with so many female friends that they question their being able to relate with and be Men.

Rollo,

I used to think exactly like you did. EXACTLY-- I even have had thoughts about this exact subject and may have phrased them the same as you. That is, until a female friend whom I wanted to F for a few years finally came out with what she was thinking. It turns out that even though I was a total AFC with this girl-- meaning, I got her a job with my production company, bought her a car, took her out on the town all the time, picked her son up from school, etc... she really was just waiting for me to have some balls and F her brains out. The whole time she was just waiting for me to be a male and show my testosterone the same way I did with other girls. One would automatically think that there was no possible way that a girls "friend" would ever have a chance with her, but this was not the case. All it took was one night out with her at a bar and me showing my nuts on the outside and she F'ed me several times that night. I was completely flabbergasted that my "friend" for over 4 years simply wanted me to screw her this whole time and was just waiting for it.

Strangely enough, I have not had another female friend since. This small detail makes me think that there are elements to your reasoning that are correct, but I strongly disagree with the part where the girl "never" wants to screw the guy.

 

[acw]

Some Awesome comments from the Boys...I appreciate it.

The term "Friends" means there is some kind of exchange. People who have become your friends are those who have something that Enrich's your life (i'm talking healthy relationships). If you have people around you whom you call friends but they don't do anything for you (enjoy their company, help you, are there when you need them, learn from them, grow with them, etc) then...they are NOT YOUR FRIENDS...PERIOD.

...i have found some use for Chick Friends....but only a few. Those who promote me...Professionally and or Socially.

If they aren't promoting my business or my Peanis Needs...then what good are they?

I know what value i bring to the table in the form of friendship, contacts, social standing, etc and if you can't do something close to that...cya!

I'm sure this will piss a lot of women off...but hey...who cares at that point. Basically they're worthless to me or any other male (for that matter) and Who needs Um?

Don't get me wrong...i'm not gonna bad mouth them....or say anything derogatory....but if they aren't creating any VALUE in my life...then they will just take up MY VALUABLE TIME...

You wanna know me...and be "friends" with someone like me...you better be bringing something to the table.....!!!!

 

[jophil28]

All it took was one night out with her at a bar and me showing my nuts on the outside and she F'ed me several times that night. I was completely flabbergasted that my "friend" for over 4 years simply wanted me to screw her this whole time and was just waiting for it.

THis also has happened to me three or four times back in the 80's and 90's.
IF fact it was my SOP back then and it worked fine...it was not a very efficient method because it took so long to F*K her but it worked.
It refutes that popular belief that you never get out of the friend zone.
IF a woman really wants you, that 'window of opportunuity' never really closes.
There will be a different outcome if her IL dropped or was not very high to start with ,or she goes 'shopping' and finds someone else .

 

[PeeGee]

THis also has happened to me three or four times back in the 80's and 90's.
IF fact it was my SOP back then and it worked fine...it was not a very efficient method because it took so long to F*K her but it worked.
It refutes that popular belief that you never get out of the friend zone.
IF a woman really wants you, that 'window of opportunuity' never really closes.
There will be a different outcome if her IL dropped or was not very high to start with ,or she goes 'shopping' and finds someone else .

This and duffdog's post are very dangerous for newbies who think that their oneitis could be theirs but are just afraid to make a move to see.

You need to always be trying to replace any girl you have a crush on who is not available (single, willing to cheat). Otherwise you will not be in a situation where you have the upper hand, and that will end disastrously for you.

 

[edger]

To all you guys who see women as nothing more than walking cvm rags, you have a warped view that is not going to bring you any sort of fulfillment in life. You can call me a 'moraliser' or whatever sort of ad-hominem label you want, but all you are doing is sidestepping the fact that you have some festering bitterness towards some past event or persons. I dont even like to comment on these things any more but it makes me sick. This place used to have a lot more men who respected themselves and, by natural extension, other human beings.

You can't sit there and claim the majority of attractive women don't like to be purely "lusted" for. Most of them get all dolled up every Friday and Saturday night, in their mini-skirts(or their skin tight stretch pants that come to just above the ankle) and heels with the one specific intention of being d*ckteases. I remember my ex one time telling me, how she "loves when guys see her in clubs and then go home later to jerk off to her". "I looooove that", she said. Don't put it past them that they don't want to be seen as c*m rags. They love it. They might tell you they hate being seen as sex objects(remember the old age wisdom around here, don't listen to what they say, but what they do, as their behavior often contradicts what they say?), but the truth is, they love it.

 

[Colossus]

You can't sit there and claim the majority of attractive women don't like to be purely "lusted" for. Most of them get all dolled up every Friday and Saturday night, in their mini-skirts(or their skin tight stretch pants that come to just above the ankle) and heels with the one specific intention of being d*ckteases. I remember my ex one time telling me, how she "loves when guys see her in clubs and then go home later to jerk off to her". "I looooove that", she said. Don't put it past them that they don't want to be seen as c*m rags. They love it. They might tell you they hate being seen as sex objects(remember the old age wisdom around here, don't listen to what they say, but what they do, as their behavior often contradicts what they say?), but the truth is, they love it.

That's not what I'm saying at all. Of course they love male attention in it's various forms.

My comment was in regards to men in particular who view women as little more than walking masturbatory aides. I'm not trying to victimize those 'poor slvts' who do allow themselves to be used as such--there will always be women like this and men will always use them. My point was that if you want to grow as a Man it would behoove you find women worthy of engaging on a level beyond just a load-drop.

Guys who view all women as hors frankly have most of their experience primarily with hors.

I know it comes off like I'm Captain Morality here defending the honor of all women, but my intent is to encourage MEN to act more honorably for their own sake and set higher standards for the company they keep. What guys fail to acknowledge is that shamelessly using the same girls they revile as slvts doent make them any better than the slvts themselves.

 

[Duffdog]

Guys who view all women as hors frankly have most of their experience primarily with hors.

Or, they could just have much more experience than you think. I have come to the realization that all females are *****s...they just have different prices and some want guys to think that they aren't.

It is just delusional to think that there are some mythical species of female out there who is "saving herself" for her prince charming...um,no...she was already railed by the entire hockey team 5 times and didn't tell you about it. Females aren't loyal, they don't think about pink clouds and bunnies all day and they have already done everything you think they haven't. The guys who think that women are loyal have their girlfriends fvcking guys like me on the side who recognize the fact that females are nothing more than human beings who have needs. Do you really think that the pretty little flower in the pink dress isn't thinking about what it feels like to have 3 d1cks rammed in her at once? Of course she is, she just won't say it out loud.

But, go ahead and believe that there are some women who are "quality"...remember, the divorce rate in California is 80%. Well, it was 80% when the economy was good and people could afford to divorce every other week. Now its lower. And what is the number 1 reason for divorce in CA???????? infidelity!! wow?! wierd-- so, you mean to tell me that females cheat?!?!?! I never would have assumed something like that to be true, I am totally taken by surprise! Next you are going to tell me that 1 in 10 people are not the son or daughter of their father because the female lied about sleeping with other guys?...oh wait. That's true also.

Seriously, you do sound like captain morality. Men cheat, women cheat. If they get caught it was just because they weren't very good at it. Yes, life is not fair and some tall, hot guy like me is fvcking your girlfriend when she "goes out."

Of course, I could be totally wrong on all this too. Its not like I actually met their boyfriends later after I fvcked them and was introduced as "this guy from (whatever they make up)"

 

[Luthor Rex]

It turns out that even though I was a total AFC with this girl-- meaning, I got her a job with my production company, bought her a car, took her out on the town all the time, picked her son up from school, etc...

:kick:

Well thank you, now my afc days don't seem so bad...

 

[Colossus]

Again you think I'm defending women here.

I have no delusions about the 'purity' of women, as I have been both the cheater and the cheatee on numerous occaisions. I dont think women are any more or less "moral" than men, they are just more likely to justify their behavior post-hoc.

Saying you believe all women are hors is a convenient validation of your past experience and observation, but it would be more astute to state that all women have the potential to be "hors", as we define them, under the right conditions. As RT likes to say, the sweet girl who will tell you she wants to 'wait' is the same girl who will go and bang the young stud she met at the foam cannon party in Cancun 2 hours earlier.

We could argue till the cows come home about the semantics of hor, slvt, cheating, or whether girls dream of having 4-way interracial orgies.

The point is that if we are going to allegorically define ourselves as kings then we shouldnt be rolling amongst the pigs. Sure it feels good to roll in sh!t but then you are no better than the pigs that made it. Women who display classless behavior should not be eligible for your company, regardless of how easy the pvssy is....but this is an issue of personal philosophy.

 

[jophil28]

The point is that if we are going to allegorically define ourselves as kings then we shouldnt be rolling amongst the pigs. Sure it feels good to roll in sh!t but then you are no better than the pigs that made it. Women who display classless behavior should not be eligible for your company, regardless of how easy the pvssy is....but this is an issue of personal philosophy.

Exactly.