What are the benefits of being in a relationship?

[Serenity]

Everybody lies, and you are a hypocrite if you say you don't lie. Again, the virtue of honestly is a lie, honestly doesn't get you the girl, game does.

It's really cumbersome to discuss it when you assume such a black and white stance on it. Sure, everyone lies at least a little bit at some point, but there's certainly a difference between those who find excuses to lie such as yourself and those who try to stay as honest as possible.

I'm not saying honesty gets you the girl, at least not that alone. No single thing is what gets the girl, it's all the factors compounded, of which honesty is just a small but often Important part of a bigger picture.

You can probably do without honesty and get pretty far that way, but could have gotten even further with yet another positive quality on top of everything else. Why would you not optimize yourself?

The same way you married your wife because she provided qualities of value to you, its the same way she married you, either good genetics, money, security, etc. Relationships are transactional, its easier for her to divorce you if go bankrupt than you divorcing her if she doesn't have a job. That's female nature, you are red pill, you should know that.

Oh, right, no disagreement there. Obviously it wouldn't make sense to stay if there's nothing in it for us. I would fully expect her to leave if I fail as a man and she should fully expect me to leave if she fails as a woman. Believing it works any other way is just delusional.

I live in Norway, our divorce laws don't fvck men over as badly, she wouldn't stand to gain much from it.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Brother, a man conditioned to please others for many decades since childhood, doesn't know he has to put himself first. He literally cannot do it, because in his neurons that pathway doesn't exist. His brain releases neurotransmissions that make him feel good when he sacrifices for others and puts himself last. here is a video explaining the brain. You should inform yourself first.

Yes a man can be conditioned to be a pushover from childhood. But no it's not true that people can't rewire their brains. Read Psycho-Cybernetics. Arguing whether it's one's "true self" is moot. Your self is what you want it to be; it's a choice.

If I lie to fvck Mrs. Universe, am I bad person? No, I did what I had to do to get what I wanted. My and myself decide what's moral, not by others, but by me.

If I lie in my resume to get the job what I want, is that bad? Why? I got the job with a strategy while you with your bull$hit virtue of honesty didn't get the interview and stayed with "At least I didn't lie" cope.

No you are not a "bad" person. You're making a choice to do what's best for you. I agree with you here that your morality is your own. We all make a million decisions like this a day. The caveat is that decisions have consequences that we have to consider, that's all. Lying to get a job will have less fallout than pointing a gun at a guy for his wallet, for instance. Lying for a lay, even less so, if any.

 

[Manure Spherian]

No, I did what I had to do to get what I wanted. My and myself decide what's moral, not by others, but by me.

Are you alright with others doing likewise, with you on the receiving end? And I’m not just talking about lying.

 

[New_Journey]

Are you alright with others doing likewise, with you on the receiving end? And I’m not just talking about lying.

Brother, we all are living in this competitive jungle, we all do what's necessary to survive and thrive.

 

[New_Journey]

difference between those who find excuses to lie such as yourself and those who try to stay as honest as possible.

Hahaha yeah that's convenient.

"Do, or do not. There is no try" - Yoda

 

[Serenity]

Hahaha yeah that's convenient.

"Do, or do not. There is no try" - Yoda

I have no respect for people who deceive me and I do not expect others to have any respect for me if I deceive them. I guess you're of a different mind on that. I suppose you're fine with people lying to you since you're so fine with lying to others, if not you'd be a hypocrite.

It's really odd to me that you're defending such anti-social behavior, but thanks for being honest enough to let me know not to trust you I guess.

 

[New_Journey]

I suppose you're fine with people lying to you since you're so fine with lying to others, if not you'd be a hypocrite.

Everyone lies so I don't care what people say, I make my own judgment.

but thanks for being honest enough to let me know not to trust you

This the way my friend. Trust but verify. You shouldn't trust anyone in the first place.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Brother, we all are living in this competitive jungle, we all do what's necessary to survive and thrive.

Would you be forgiving of someone who put you in a coma while mugging you? Like, would you awake from it and think, “That guy was just doing what he had to do?”

 

[New_Journey]

Would you be forgiving of someone who put you in a coma while mugging you? Like, would you awake from it and think, “That guy was just doing what he had to do?”

The classic " I have no more arguments, let me go to the extreme" You are another married man, act like it.

 

[CornbreadFed]

1). I don't have to worry about hunting for sex, going on first-third dates anymore, or the maintenance of appealing to women. My energy and resources can be more diverted to myself or activities I can enjoy with a longer-term partner as opposed to a girl I just met. For example, I am not going camping in arctic circle Lapland with a girl I just met off bumble. In addition, I can focus more on my career and starting my own business. Last, I don't have to be super dressed up going to the store and I can focus more on strength/conditioning instead of being low body fat to appeal to women.

2). Most women suck and being single constantly puts you in front of terrible women that just mentally drain you.

3). I have already had plenty of sex and dated enough women to the point to where I know what I want. I do believe that all men should have a 304 stage to get it out of their system.

 

[jhonny9546]

I've always wondered if this forum helps us become better men (it does, I confirm), and whether it also helps with our relationships with others (less certain about it).


One of the most important things I’ve learned here is the value of self-respect, setting boundaries and not allowing others to cross them. It’s not about convincing people to see you differently, but about filtering out those who disrespect you. Now, when it comes to relationships with women, the idea is: if someone crosses a line or disrespects you, you could tell them to leave. They did it, and there's no going back. But then, how do people actually make a relationship work? And so which are the benefits of being into a relationship?


Disrespect, in some form, is bound to happen throughout a relationship. Of course, I’m not talking about toxic behavior or red flags, but normal disagreements, misunderstandings, and annoyances, even with a healthy, reasonable partner. These kinds of conflicts don’t always equal disrespect. In fact, I’ve seen toxic relationships evolve through friction, where both partners come to understand each other's flaws in a deeper, more genuine way. But the relationship was flawed by the beginning, so it will not work.


Experienced men here, especially those who’ve been hurt, will likely respond more cynically, with a "pessimistic" take on relationships. I wouldn’t expect a divorced man to say “work on it,” but I’d still value his maturity far more than someone stuck in a blue-pill fantasy.

But, I think being single, feeling good about yourself, having options, and being mature is the peak of hedonism.
Whereas being a mature man with an ideal partner and shared goals is the peak of asceticism.

I think a relationship with someone of our same wavelenght it's just a step above of being single with many options. It's just more fullfilling to know there is someone actually valuable in this corner of the world you live in. We cannot deny.

 

[john1234]

Companionship
I do appreciate companionship. She made the effort to learn how to cook and clean for me, which I respect, so I can’t fault her there. But I’ve found that women often become overly attached and want too much of my time. I struggle with that level of intensity; it feels smothering.


Sex
The thing is, after a while, having sex with the same person repeatedly can start to feel routine.

Sure, it's great to have access to it consistently even spontaneously, but it can get a bit stale over time. That’s when I start to question the point of the relationship altogether. Seeing other women and wanting to smash them feel totally natural, but since in a closed relationship , I can't, and that can be painful.

If you're going into a relationship just for the sex, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. There has to be more, something meaningful that she brings to the table beyond the physical.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

From time to time it helps to purposely abstain from having sex with your wife or girlfriend for a length of time. Say 2-3 weeks but not even separated, you stay together but it’s just both of you agreeing to abstain from sex for the health of your relationship.

It freshens things up. Feels like new again.