What am I doing wrong on the pickup?

[zekko]

Logically none of it makes sense, and that's not what I'd think of a guy who asks some friend to set him up. I'm just explaining what young people (from the Blue Pill world) in a social circle would think (emotionally) about that situation.

Or maybe what women would think.
Since they almost always have numerous options themselves, they probably assume there's something wrong with a guy who doesn't.

On the flip side, you'd think they would understand that sometimes guys go through dry spells.

 

[VictorK]

If you're in a dry spell I guess you have to keep swinging and swing your way out of it.

Update: one of my flakes that I has written off messaged me and wants to meet up.

 

[Barracuda]

I haven't read all replies, so I may be repeating what others have said but:

Firstly, it's a numbers game. Yes there are a lot of flakes / buyers remorse cases - if those 2 you mention are 2 out of 4, then the problem is that you are putting all your eggs in too few baskets. Approach more.

Secondly, if it's 2 out of like 10 then how about not just getting the number to arrange a date on another day - instead, isolate and/or venue change and go on an INSTANT DATE right there and then while her buying temperature is high.

If you're good enough at getting the number then chances are you'll probably have enough game to do some isolation / venue changing and actually create a deeper connection ON THE SAME NIGHT.

Basically, the more you get her to invest, the more commitment you'll get from her.

That will definitely eliminate a lot of the flaking when you call her afterwards to arrange the day 2.

 

[Jitterbug]

Or maybe what women would think.
Since they almost always have numerous options themselves, they probably assume there's something wrong with a guy who doesn't.

On the flip side, you'd think they would understand that sometimes guys go through dry spells.

Of course. I meant women when I said "they".

Women don't have much sympathy for men on anything, least of all dating.

Remember, these days they are taught from birth that men are the oppressors. The oppressed don't sympathise with the oppressors.

Besides, they only have sympathy for those they consider weaker or beneath themselves, and you don't want to be there anyway.

 

[hithard]

You're thinking "first date". That's where you go wrong.

I'm assuming you're going after girls from 18~around your age. That's the same crowd I'm (and most guys here) going for.

For those girls, Dating Is Dead. Get those 3 words in your head. They are terrified of committing to an one-on-one date with a man they have not known for long, even if there is attraction.

What you need to think is "hanging out". You go to some exciting social event, and you invite them to come along. No expectation, no pressure.

Jitter I don't know if this is a local Aussie phenomenon but it is spot on. I've had girls I'm banging tell me the term dating is creepy. I've been out with wings who have had girls tell them the whole first date term is "scary". Others are telling their friends that the date might lead to axe murder, lame but true.
So 'hanging out' is the new date. I'm sure mankind evolved after that little milestone
I was working the local bars to develop a lot of social groups in each so I could bring the girl into my world and make them feel more comfortable or bring their whole group to mine for a mega sex pick merge. I also found those that flaked the first time round could be re-picked with a simple "just cleaning out old numbers on my phone who is this" type of call followed by fluff and joking around then setting up a causal meet. Causal persistence pays off.

Building a decent social circle(not all men) makes a massive difference.

People in Aust are a lot different from the sex crazed days of 2003-2007 blame it on the GFC

 

[Jitterbug]

I don't think it's the GFC, as it's men who pay for dates anyway, and they are still willing to, despite the financial hardship.

Personally I blame social networking + smart mobile devices, leading to over-saturated attention fix for women, and the obsession with "connecting" with their own group of friends all the time, leaving no room / desire to meet new people. Around 2007-08 was when Facebook & smart phones took off, and it was then that dating suddenly became "creepy".

 

[hithard]

I don't think it's the GFC, as it's men who pay for dates anyway, and they are still willing to, despite the financial hardship.

Personally I blame social networking + smart mobile devices, leading to over-saturated attention fix for women, and the obsession with "connecting" with their own group of friends all the time, leaving no room / desire to meet new people. Around 2007-08 was when Facebook & smart phones took off, and it was then that dating suddenly became "creepy".

The mood has changed in this country though. We went from the dizzy heights hedonism thinking the party would never be over to this $hitty scrimping and saving attitude. You could just hear their clams slamming shut in unison once the confidence was off the table. Personally the run up from 1997 to 2005 were awesome in all aspects.