I’m exceptionally good at losing people. In fact, so good that I am, I have a hard time holding onto people that I do want to stick around. I tend to let things slip and don’t follow up with maintaining relations. And when I do want to lose someone, giving them the sense I blew them off suffices.
But there’s this woman I met a few months ago who turned out to be very chaotic. She lacked any vitality in life—a hair from being homeless; is clingy, constantly whined about things, blaming everyone else for her problems, her life was permeated with chaotic individuals. It was one thing after another. After awhile, I stopped believing her. (e.g. her next-door neighbors, who are wanted fugitives for murder, stole some big thing from her backyard.) I strongly suspected that she has a borderline personality. Anyway, I was never intimate with her, never even kissed her, which was intentional. I didn’t want to form an intimate bond in case I wanted to eject.
After a few weeks, I bailed. She was always the one who called me, so I stopped returning her phone calls. That was maybe ten weeks ago.
She still calls, about once or twice a week. A few times she even played the game of calling me from pay phones to evade any phone screening (which I foiled by reverse tracing the numbers). I’ve been tempted to answer one of her calls to tell her to essentially shut up but I figured that once I started not returning her calls I better keep up at it. It’s been two and a half months, surely she’d have gotten the message I lost interest.
What prompts this question is that now she has resorted to e-mailing me, telling me essentially that she misses me and blah blah blah. I figure I have a few options:
But there’s this woman I met a few months ago who turned out to be very chaotic. She lacked any vitality in life—a hair from being homeless; is clingy, constantly whined about things, blaming everyone else for her problems, her life was permeated with chaotic individuals. It was one thing after another. After awhile, I stopped believing her. (e.g. her next-door neighbors, who are wanted fugitives for murder, stole some big thing from her backyard.) I strongly suspected that she has a borderline personality. Anyway, I was never intimate with her, never even kissed her, which was intentional. I didn’t want to form an intimate bond in case I wanted to eject.
After a few weeks, I bailed. She was always the one who called me, so I stopped returning her phone calls. That was maybe ten weeks ago.
She still calls, about once or twice a week. A few times she even played the game of calling me from pay phones to evade any phone screening (which I foiled by reverse tracing the numbers). I’ve been tempted to answer one of her calls to tell her to essentially shut up but I figured that once I started not returning her calls I better keep up at it. It’s been two and a half months, surely she’d have gotten the message I lost interest.
What prompts this question is that now she has resorted to e-mailing me, telling me essentially that she misses me and blah blah blah. I figure I have a few options:
- Send her an e-mail explaining how I’m essentially too busy to hang out with her ever again.
- E-mail that I’m too busy, explain how I met another woman. (But I figure she’d then very likely say she wants to meet her).
- Continue the blackout.
