Went through her phone.... - not good

[TheGambino]

Im still seeing a girl (fwb/plate) for 8 months now. I wrote a thread about her months ago. We started dating, hooking up but it turned into a fwb. I didn't put in the effort to date her properly the first months and she became distant and fed up. I feel like she doesnt see me as bf potential anymore.

I made some mistakes, by telling her a thing or two about my past which resulted in her not seeing me as bf potential. We don't go out on dates ever, we only visit eachother houses and hook up. (I tried to date her again, do something fun but then she tells me shes busy or some excuse, she only wants cex imo) So she reaches out most of the time when shes lonely and horney in the evening. We tried to talk a couple of times to solve things and she also tried to end it with me for a couple of times! I started texting her twice and the other 8 times she always dm'ed me again after saying that its better that we dont see eachother anymore. Anyhow I say, okay no problem then she says, but I miss you... and I go fvck her.

So 8 months straight weekly hooking up. When she becomes distant or complains about her feelings, I just listen to her (open her up) then I dont chase and then she keeps coming back, the cex is a 10. We also have a lot of fun, we argue almost never. I think the cex and attraction we really have (sky high) is what is keeping us going back.

Anyhow, I just don't want to fvck her when she is fvcking someone else, it's disgusts me, then Id rather quit, but shes only a plate/fwb.

I went through her phone last week (told her im just scrolling through her pictures) and didn't see something weird. I know this come off as insecure but I don't care, I just act like im checking her pictures. I had my jacket at her place so I texted her yesterday and she told me she was home later so I told her I come by to see her and get my jacket also.

She told me last week that her (girl)friend will sleep at her place (friday), my buddy saw her downtown with her (girl)friend so thats true. She told me she made her breakfast on her bed, and that they slept together which she does with her friend. Okay.. I just have a weird gut feeling, idk.

Ofc, things escalate, we end up in bed, we have cex yesterday. But she is a little distant, not as normal and she feels guilty that she can't be her ''normal self'' today.

Next morning she goes shower and I go through her phone (she knows it, just saying Im scrolling true her pictures) but she says ''I know your checking my dms, and messages''. Ok I dont care, I want no std's and it disgusts me to lick her when shes hooking up with other guys.

I read message from the girl she was with friday (her best friend).

Texting went something like this:

Girlfriend: ''hey we had fun yesterday''
myplate: ''yeah so much funnn''
myplate: ''that guy was so wow *shy emoticon
Girlfiend: ''good, did he text you already??''
myplate: ''No... I can't wait until he texts me....I literally can't''
Girlfriend: ''Hopefully he texts you''
myplate: ''Yes....not yet''

myplate: ''Oh btw, Guyo (probably other dude from past or so) added me in Instagram, o my god..'' (It looked like she didnt like this guy though''.
Girlfriend: ''ohh good that he did that!''

Checked her IG and he added her yesterday but she didnt accept his offer to follow her. I don't know this dude either.

Thats friday. Didn't see a text from a guy or phone calls though.

Ok, she told me she drunk, she told me her friend slept at her house, she told me she was home at 5, she told me she was in the street after the bar closed for an hour. It could be that a guy number closed her, made out with her or worse she lies and he fvcked her and didn't text yet.

For me, well yes obv, I write this thread so I care. But, I dont know how to go about it because if she really fvked him, I just want to end it, done, it just disgusts me

I didn't confront her in the house, didn't feel like it. But! She opened the text with her girlfriend in front of me when we were laying in bed, then went shower. I ask for her phone codes and she gives it and let me scroll through her phone for 20 minutes straight. Shes a woman, she probably knows that I would read that message about that ''wow guy''. Would she be that stupid that she forgot about that convo? I just doubt it myself. Would she hope that I read that message so she gets an emotional reaction. Or she never thought about that message at all. who knows

anyhow

options

1. meet up, confront her, tell her I read the messages, let her talk up and end the casual cex on a very polite indifferent way
2. say nothing go complete silent and act as nothing happened if she texts(can't really do that) I feel as if that guy doesn't text her and theres no other better option, she will text me when shes lonely again maybe next week or even earlier.
3. soft next, never text her and act busy (I dont like this style but I feel this is the best way to go about it)

She was affectionate, kissing, hugging the whole time, we had good cex but something was off

 

[SW15]

I would lean towards Option 3. This situation is a mess and isn't very salvageable. You're better off starting fresh with someone else and not making the mistakes that would lead to a messy situation like this.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

Rooting through garbage

HELP! I ****ed up big time and I want her back! How do I get her back? Easily one of the most common questions I’ve fielded at SoSuave over the past 7 years has been some variation of “…

therationalmale.com

In thinking about this interaction as a whole, you had some frame issues (Iron Rule of Tomassi #1). I have never looked through the cell phone of any of my girlfriends or casual sex partners over the years. That's not something I want to do.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

What do you expect? You aren't exclusive. That's a the definition of plate. Both can do what they want when they aren't around each other.

If you don't want that then get a girlfriend and give her exclusivity. Or don't. But you can't complain when you go outside in the rain and then get muddy.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

because if she really fvked him, I just want to end it, done, it just disgusts me

you want loyalty from a friend with benefits
if you need exclusivity, you should've locked her down
but you don't want to do that, you just feel entitled to her being exclusive while you fcuk around

 

[TheGambino]

Then I’d rather go to her house for 10 minutes and politely end things.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Maybe you should meet this guy, maybe he´s cool. No crossing sowrds, though!

Ahhh just messin with you. Time to pull younger and hotter plates

 

[Pandora]

I made a post before saying dont go through her phone because she is cheating on you. Never ever go through the phone. Some things are better not known about. Most times they are not cheating physically but they are having conversations on their phone that would piss you off. Their back up is in that phone. Just charge it to the game playa.

 

[TheGambino]

Still can’t go down on her or d1ck while another guy is cvming inside her. Grose

 

[Solomon]

This is the part of plate spinning rarely talked about, while you spinning her she spinning you

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Still can’t go down on her or d1ck while another guy is cvming inside her. Grose

Only because you don't wash your genitals doesn't mean she cannot be clean.

 

[TheGambino]

she started.

didnt do anything yet. She texts me “hey I’m home early, are you proud of me?”

I just want to ride to her house and end things right now. Only if she fvcked that guy

 

[characternote]

This is the part of plate spinning rarely talked about, while you spinning her she spinning you

exactly. I've said it many times. The guys I always see talking about 'I'm spinning 5 plates at the moment' don't understand that each girl has her own 'plates', of which you are one! lol

 

[HaleyBaron]

I run into problems where when Im spinning plates, the girl is trying to lock me down. Though I never care about going through a girl's phone. Never understood why a guy would do this unless they are insecure. I always told myself if I saw one of the girls I ****ed walking in public with another guy I would just laugh it off. A farcry from back when I was younger, when I would have felt my heart break. Once you learn the game, everything just falls into place.

 

[TheGambino]

Went over. Had an honest talk and confronted her. She admitted that she only made out with that guy, no cex. Told her that I don’t see anything serious between us and it’s better to stop. She defended trying to change my mind but she also said that she tried to break it off often but kept returning because she likes me.

we hugged and I left after 10 minutes.

now she’s blowing up my phone
That she likes me and cares about me blablabla and if I fvcked any women

I say thanks and that i didn’t fvck no one else. Now I need to move on.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Went over. Had an honest talk and confronted her. She admitted that she only made out with that guy, no cex. Told her that I don’t see anything serious between us and it’s better to stop. She defended trying to change my mind but she also said that she tried to break it off often but kept returning because she likes me.

Bro stop playing games. This is cringeworthy.

 

[TheGambino]

Bro stop playing games. This is cringeworthy.

??? What do you mean? I don’t play games I care about her and I can’t see her anymore if she fcked someone else. I’m being honest

 

[EyeBRollin]

You care about her yet you told her this:

Told her that I don’t see anything serious between us

That is game playing. Either you want this girl or you don’t. Which is it?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I say thanks and that i didn’t fvck no one else. Now I need to move on.

Why lie? Block, delete move on, she got felt up and felt him up, he got some nipple in his mouth and probably fingered her, she stroked his junk and they sucked face. There will never be any trust between you, you need to kill it dead. Go bang one of your other plates.

 

[TheGambino]

You care about her yet you told her this:



That is game playing. Either you want this girl or you don’t. Which is it?

because when I ask her for dates she is busy. She only wanted to fvck. I asked her twice that’s enough. She never suggests dates. Only in the beginning. So what can I do? Yes I care about her. I didn’t want to admit that to her about the date offer she refused a couple of weeks ago was a reason for me to not see her as a potential

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

because when I ask her for dates she is busy. She only wanted to fvck. I asked her twice that’s enough. She never suggests dates. Only in the beginning. So what can I do? Yes I care about her. I didn’t want to admit that to her about the date offer she refused a couple of weeks ago was a reason for me to not see her as a potential

You both act like children and need to grow up before you're ready to have anything more than just sex.