Went from LBJF to going on first date tonight. did not see this coming.

-deejay-

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I can't find my original post about this girl whol LJBF'd hours before our first date. If you can find it, please reference it.

I contacted this girl off OKC a few weeks ago. We were supposed to go out on our first date a couple of Friday's ago but she cancelled on me a few hours before the date was supposed to happen because she said she decided to pursue some dude she's known online for 15 years. They met for the first time in NYC (he's from SF) a few weekends ago.

I've never met her and we've only communicated via gchat, texting, and email. We spoke on the phone once.

At any rate, after I got the LJBF speech, I basically ignored her. I didn't sign on to gchat very often and if I did, i let her reach out to me.

So today, I sign on and we chat. I just played around and told her we should have dinner tonight and she agreed. But she agreed that it's a date! See the IM convo below:

me: damn, if you were to come down xxx i'd say stop off by me and we can grab some dinner.

her: that would take me through DC right

me:yeah

her: no likey

me: right

her: :p

me: well, you can come up [this route] from the [this hwy] and there'd be no traffic in that direction. ;)

her: to where now?

me: i live off __ st and [this route]

her: well i head out of here at 5:45

me: ok

her: and my sweater is falling apart and i am not presentable :p

me: eh, so what. you're good enough, but just barely

her: ya i guess

me: you guess? lol

her: :)

me: it's either yes or no. haha

her: good enough for the library of ____!

me: their standards are clearly pretty low. lol. they hired you!

her: >:| you're not so nice lately :p

me: i'm messing with you

her: messy messy

me: so what time can i expect you?

her: i have no idea. where are we eating?

me: i live very close to _______. we can go there or get korean. you said you liked _______, right?

her: yesss

me: ok we'll go there.

her: :D

me: you're paying lol

her: :(

me: kidding. maybe...

her: all my money went to gas today. they do not reimburse me!

me: ahh, so you assume i'll pay? :)

her: you invited :p

me: well, i only pay if it's a date

her: well since it's just a first date i figure i can get away without having to put out or give you a BJ yet. (edit: this blew me away!!)

me: you'll just have to see

her: this is logical, right? there are rules

me: ok but then i'll expect it on the 2nd date ;)

her: yeah it takes at least 2 dinners for that.

me: fair. and you'll get the 2nd dinner too then. ;)

her: >:)

me: i expect at least a kiss then :-*

her: i will give you my cold

me: well played

her: sharing is caring

The last thing I sent to her was my address and then I stopped the IM and said I had work to do.

I'm not looking for a critique on the IM convo. I know it probably isnt' what some of the DJs on here would've said or done but it seems to have worked. Looking back at it, there were probably a couple of things I could've said better but it's too late now.

I'm looking for advice on how NOT to blow this. I really didn't expect this to turn out this way. I wrote her off and didn't try to stick around very often after I got the LJBF speech from here.

I've never been in this situation before. I like this girl but she is rather shy offline. At least that's the gist I got when I spoke to her.

Before you ask, yes, I am spinning other plates. 2 others to be exact.

Anyway, what are your thoughts about this situation?

Oh, from chatting with her since I've known her, she seems pretty flakey and I will not be surprised if she flakes out on me again.
 

-deejay-

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Danger said:
Jophil had a great saying and someone here uses it for a sig.

Do not reward a flake with a second chance to do so again.
right. if she flakes on me again then she's cut off completely.

but my post is in reference to me NOT blowing it with her tonight if the date actually happens.
 

Greasy Pig

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Tread carefully, OP. Actions speak louder than words, judge a woman on her actions not her words....you get the idea.
I really am uncomfortable with her setting the rules of engagement. It's a blatant frame grab and really shytty behaviour.
She sounds like a prick teasing cvnt to me.

My call is that her "A" guy fell through and she decided to hit you up for a free meal and you obliged. Jackpot for her, and fvcking nothing for you.

Anyway, just remember you have two other chicks spinning, so act that way. As backbreaker so rightly preaches, you aren't trying to reel in the fish, you just want to set the hook. Make her want more by giving her less.

I'm still undecided if you should make a move it not because her messages indicate that she is expecting that and has already said she ain't playing that game. On the one hand, if you make a move and she won't even kiss you, them you know to kick her to the kerb.
But on the other, making a move could be playing into her game.
Might have to throw to soneone like Harry Wilmington or backbreaker for a definitive answer.

In summary, fully expect her to try to mind fvck you and make you feel like a fool. Don't fall for the bullsht.
 

-deejay-

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Greasy Pig said:
Tread carefully, OP. Actions speak louder than words, judge a woman on her actions not her words....you get the idea.
I really am uncomfortable with her setting the rules of engagement. It's a blatant frame grab and really shytty behaviour.
She sounds like a prick teasing cvnt to me.

My call is that her "A" guy fell through and she decided to hit you up for a free meal and you obliged. Jackpot for her, and fvcking nothing for you.

Anyway, just remember you have two other chicks spinning, so act that way. As backbreaker so rightly preaches, you aren't trying to reel in the fish, you just want to set the hook. Make her want more by giving her less.

I'm still undecided if you should make a move it not because her messages indicate that she is expecting that and has already said she ain't playing that game. On the one hand, if you make a move and she won't even kiss you, them you know to kick her to the kerb.
But on the other, making a move could be playing into her game.
Might have to throw to soneone like Harry Wilmington or backbreaker for a definitive answer.

In summary, fully expect her to try to mind fvck you and make you feel like a fool. Don't fall for the bullsht.
sound advice. what you said is kind of what my gut is telling me. but honestly, i really don't expect her to follow through tonight. I fully expect her to give me some excuse as to why she doesn't want to have dinner tonight. She may say she's too tired from the long commute or that she's feeling worse.

Plus, I am not sure if she's using her excuse of being sick (btw, she's been sick since Friday) to not have to kiss me tonight. I don't care about her cold but I think I'll try anyway.

Since I've committed myself to taking her out to dinner tonight, how can I give her less? I am a little confused by this. I certainly won't pay for anything else.

She doesn't expect sex on the first date, but she kind of agreed by the 2nd date it would/could happen.
 

-deejay-

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Danger said:
Why even give her a second chance?
why not? i don't really have much to lose. i don't really know this girl and she's not in my circle of friends.

in a way, i am trying to use this experience to learn from it. and if it works out, then hey, that's an added bonus and surprise.
 

Too Many Women?

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Greasy Pig

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Giving her less means seeing if she initiates most of the conversation and really trying to make the date work more than you are.
Be an active participant but don't appear too eager to impress her or force the momentum of the date.
She should at the very least be trying to initiate conversation just as much as you do, preferably more.
Don't panic if there are awkward silences. If she's truly into you, she'll be trying to say something to reinitiate conversation.

Oh, and Danger's quote from Jophil does resonate.
 

-deejay-

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ARrocket said:
She's just in it for the free meal
I'm just in it for the experience. And by the way, I'm not taking her to a fancy place. At the most, I'll be out $25 and I'm fine with that.


Greasy Pig said:
Giving her less means seeing if she initiates most of the conversation and really trying to make the date work more than you are.
Be an active participant but don't appear too eager to impress her or force the momentum of the date.
She should at the very least be trying to initiate conversation just as much as you do, preferably more.
Don't panic if there are awkward silences. If she's truly into you, she'll be trying to say something to reinitiate conversation.

Oh, and Danger's quote from Jophil does resonate.
Understood. I was thinking I should do kino and other sexual innuendos as well.

But, I'm on the fence on whether or not I want to kiss her. She has been sick since Friday (so she says) and I haven't been sick in over a year.
 

alpha_ash

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-deejay- said:
why not? i don't really have much to lose. i don't really know this girl and she's not in my circle of friends.

in a way, i am trying to use this experience to learn from it. and if it works out, then hey, that's an added bonus and surprise.
Be hard core gamer then! Make sure you try all new stuff that you are curious about because then whether you win or not, experiment will be reward enough!
 

yyc12

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-deejay- said:
this girl whol LJBF'd hours before our first date.
Haha, that's nothing...I went from LJBF to sex within a span of 25min, lol! btw, I always feel that someone is just looking for orbiters when they go from LJBF to wanting more. Women always like moving forward; all this flaking and changing minds is never a good thing in the end.
 

Too Many Women?

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Purefilth

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Im fine with the 'LJBF->date' part, just not keen on her bringing up the svx with a price on her pvssy 2 free meals? are you kidding me?

She spent her last money on gas - so maybe thats true, but ill bet she has money still, she wants her free dinner(with absolutely no obligations - as she made fully clear).

I mean game on this girl and make her break that *nothing on the first date* BS. And if she holds to her word and says 'Stop/No/Dont' then fine. But dont give her another free meal. Next date you invite her to yours for a movie, and fvck her. She dont like that as an idea cos theres no free meal? NEXT.

Honestly - I have never taken a girl out to dinner without fvcking her a few times at least first.
 

-deejay-

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Purefilth said:
Im fine with the 'LJBF->date' part, just not keen on her bringing up the svx with a price on her pvssy 2 free meals? are you kidding me?

She spent her last money on gas - so maybe thats true, but ill bet she has money still, she wants her free dinner(with absolutely no obligations - as she made fully clear).

I mean game on this girl and make her break that *nothing on the first date* BS. And if she holds to her word and says 'Stop/No/Dont' then fine. But dont give her another free meal. Next date you invite her to yours for a movie, and fvck her. She dont like that as an idea cos theres no free meal? NEXT.

Honestly - I have never taken a girl out to dinner without fvcking her a few times at least first.

Well I'm not paying for the next date if we do go out to dinner or a bar or whatever. I think I made that clear with her even though I said it under the guise that I'm playing around.

I like your idea of inviting her to my house for a movie for the 2nd one, if it reaches that point.

I admire your ability to fvck before taking a chick out to dinner first. I think I may have done that a handful of times. Normally we go to a bar or something like that, first.
 

sigma335

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Make a the dinner quick, then bounce it to your place for a couple of drink or the nearest bar. Lower her inhibitions/slut defense she's gonna have up. Make moves on her then. If she is acting like a prude, no 2nd date, don't waste anymore time with her.
 

-deejay-

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I've held off from IMing her for a while today and she IMs me that she's "so exhausted".

I said, "me too".

I really sense a flake out coming up.
 

SgtSplacker

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If she did show I would not be intimate at all with her for that first date. From my experience talking about sex too early kinda stagnates the deed. Remember sex is something that nobody is supposed to know is happening until you are both naked, lol.
 

Too Many Women?

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

-deejay-

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SgtSplacker said:
If she did show I would not be intimate at all with her for that first date. From my experience talking about sex too early kinda stagnates the deed. Remember sex is something that nobody is supposed to know is happening until you are both naked, lol.
hmm, good point.
 

Greasy Pig

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Uh oh.... I agree OP, be prepared for major flakeage.

And try to be more playful, man!

Her: "I'm exhausted."
You: "Women don't usually say that until after I've finished with em."
Or: "Me too. I've been carrying my whole department all damn day."
Or: "Exhausted? I didn't think sitting around putting nail polish on all day would be that tiring."
Or: "Wow, does that line work on other guys, because it was pretty lame. Come on, try another one."

Get it? Bust these chicks' balls! Show them you're a funny guy who isn't afraid to challenge and offend them. Be brash, be brazen, be funny.
 
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