Well Im just gonna ask you guys for some help with this one

[captain55]

Still not a ****ing word from her fellas. I usually handle rejection pretty well I don't know why I'm taking this one so personally...oh wait i do know.... I don't think there is a guy on here who has chased a woman harder than I did with this chick.

I manage to get her number a year and a half ago dirive an hour and a half to see her and my phone dies on the way there and she stops talking to me I never even meet her. I hit her up out of the blue a year and a half later and by some miracle game her into going on a date with me. Not only that but I get this chick to go on a third date after she blew me off, and I thought it was a successful date since I still managed to make out with her. all that **** and I didnt even get to bang her...

distance spent driving on this woman total- 1100 miles
result- 3 make out sessions, sleeping next to her for a night with my underwear

**** ):

 

[captain55]

I texted her last night "why the cold shoulder? I dont beat around the bush with women I like if I like a girl she's gona know it"

She responds...

"what cold shoulder? " with the sarcastic smiley face.

IDK if she still likes me and is playing games or is just keeping me around for validation at this point because she's insecure ,its tough to read her interest level because she never really changed. Even when she was willing to drive two hours to see me (obviously high interest level) she would never text me first, and even ignore them sometimes.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I texted her last night "why the cold shoulder? I dont beat around the bush with women I like if I like a girl she's gona know it"

She responds...

"what cold shoulder? " with the sarcastic smiley face.

You've brought a tooth pick to a gun fight. At this point it's Michael Jordan in his prime versus a paraplegic. Hoist the white flag already, learn from your mistakes, take the lint-sized piece of dignity you have left and WALK AWAY.

 

[Infern0]

I texted her last night "why the cold shoulder? I dont beat around the bush with women I like if I like a girl she's gona know it"

She responds...

"what cold shoulder? " with the sarcastic smiley face.

IDK if she still likes me and is playing games or is just keeping me around for validation at this point because she's insecure ,its tough to read her interest level because she never really changed. Even when she was willing to drive two hours to see me (obviously high interest level) she would never text me first, and even ignore them sometimes.

Yup so you dropped frame yet again. You are in a terrible mindset when it comes to women. No matter what you say, it's easy to see by your actions that you have this girl on a pedestal, and if we can see it you better belive she can. You aren't going to get anywhere with this attitude.

I could give you advice that'd give you the best chance (slim) of reversing this mess but I'm not even going to because your mindset is fvcked and one way or another this ends in pain for you.

Move on, learn the lessons and start getting the fundementals down and fix your mindset. This girl thinks you are a joke and your actions are not proving her wrong

 

[captain55]

I called her out on her bull**** asking her why would she go make out with a dude and not talk to him for two weeks and hit me up randomly and this was her response

"huh? I haven't heard from you since we last saw eachother"

me "No I called you several times, maybe its cause your up in the hills"

her " I haven't got one message or call from you"

so at this point I decide to play dumb and go along with it "maybe its cause I get bad reception here"

her "yeah your tripping"

Im ****ing speechless.
She does live in the hills but I highly doubt she didn't get my text messages this is 2015 afterall. At this point Im done, but Im gonna throw her the bait and see if she's willing to drive to come see me next week, I got nothing to lose. .

 

[captain55]

Yup so you dropped frame yet again. You are in a terrible mindset when it comes to women. No matter what you say, it's easy to see by your actions that you have this girl on a pedestal, and if we can see it you better belive she can. You aren't going to get anywhere with this attitude.

I could give you advice that'd give you the best chance (slim) of reversing this mess but I'm not even going to because your mindset is fvcked and one way or another this ends in pain for you.

Move on, learn the lessons and start getting the fundementals down and fix your mindset. This girl thinks you are a joke and your actions are not proving her wrong

And how can I reverse this? I feel like testing her to see if she will make the two hour drive is the only way. Just debating on when I should ask her to come..blow off my plans with other women this weekend for her or should I wait till next week to ask her? Still made out with her last time I saw her, I aint in the friendzone yet brutha

 

[BondAFC]

captain55;

I don't get it. The title of this thread is:
"Well Im just gonna ask you guys for some help with this one"
You are given help and solid advice... and you ignore all of it..
Why ask for help and then just continue with your obsessive behavior?

Or were you really asking for help to "fix her" and "make her want you"?
That is impossible. She isn't interested. Period. End of story.

You know how to tell when they are interested...
Women who are interested make it EASY FOR YOU to be with them!!!
They never break dates. They show-up on time.
They will travel the ocean to be with you.
You are never in a state of confusion when a woman is interested in you.

Are you confused by this woman Captain?
Your messages are thick with confusion and anxiety. That is your EGO.
Your EGO is driving you back for more and more punishment.
Your EGO is screaming "Try Harder!!!"
Your EGO is crying "This isn't fair, I want her".
The more energy you invest in this, the worse it will get.... Trust me.

Objectively, you are obsessed over a women who is in the midst of a divorce that lives TWO HOURS away..
a.) Any recently divorced woman is a damaged-mess/train-wreck and doesn't know what she wants for at least a year.
b.) Two hours one way is a four hour commute....

Retreat, regroup, re-focus on yourself.
Exercise/Run/Workout.
Do some self-analysis/meditate or find a decent shrink to talk things over with.

Immediately, deep-six all her contact info, photos, texts, etc.
Block her on the dating sites...Stop cyber-stalking her.

Walk/Run away...Focus on you.

Heal.

 

[captain55]

UPDATE - so this chick and I made us official Saturday night, basically she wrote me off as a player and told me to **** off. She said she wanted to get married and have kids and travel someday and I dont seem like the settling down type. She said the only time she hears from me is when I get bored of my side chicks and she needs a man who is consistant not who she hears from once a week etc.

So I told her how I felt about her and shes like how do I know your serious? How do I know Im not just the next chick on your list? I said that if she dated me and I fell in love with her, I would have no problem settling down once she proved herself to me as relationship material. She's giving me a chance. I know for fact She's serious about me because she took down her pictures on her online dating profile and she does not know that I know she has a dating profile.

Hope this works out for me, I need to get in her pants asap so I can get her attached and seal the deal. I feel like Im one bad text away from her changing her mind about me.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

:crackup: :crackup:

Don't mock him, it's not nice.

Bro, come on, we all think she's playing you like a card. You're overthinking this a little too much. Toughen up. Harden up. Get calloused a little. It'll only help you here.

As much as we want this to work out for you, we're all thinking it won't. If everyone is going against you in this, then you're probably wrong. But we can't change your mind. So good luck with her I guess.

 

[ZTIME]

UPDATE - so this chick and I made us official Saturday night, basically she wrote me off as a player and told me to **** off. She said she wanted to get married and have kids and travel someday and I dont seem like the settling down type. She said the only time she hears from me is when I get bored of my side chicks and she needs a man who is consistant not who she hears from once a week etc.

So I told her how I felt about her and shes like how do I know your serious? How do I know Im not just the next chick on your list? I said that if she dated me and I fell in love with her, I would have no problem settling down once she proved herself to me as relationship material. She's giving me a chance. I know for fact She's serious about me because she took down her pictures on her online dating profile and she does not know that I know she has a dating profile.

Hope this works out for me, I need to get in her pants asap so I can get her attached and seal the deal. I feel like Im one bad text away from her changing her mind about me.

I don't get it!! Did you drive 2 hours away to make this official? Did you do it over the phone or by text?? And WTF does official mean? It means she took her POF pictures down to help alleviate your insecurities? That's officially weird to me!

In my business we advertise a lot. We use a term called reach and frequency which helps us determine the cost of getting our message to the masses. We've learned that the lower quality customers will come from further away because we have to discount our prices to get them to come to us. While the people within a 30 mile radius of us are more apt to business with us due to convenience and appreciation for our services.

I bring this up because in the dating or relationship world, the same rules apply. I consider 2hrs travel quite a long reach, and with your schedule and the expense of travel it will be a lot less frequent. This doesn't normally work out well. Not to mention that a girl can normally replace you easier with someone closer to her.

 

[captain55]

Well fellas I got what I wanted.

if anyone is curious as to how I got her, well I woke up with a text from her saying Im such a nice guy...but she feels like Im not the settling down type. etc...

as angry as I was...I accepted that it was genuinely over. I called her damaged goods, and said a 22 year old guy with the world by the balls has no business dealing with the baggage of some divorced chick anyways..... for whatever reason that one simple text message redeemed the respect she had lost for me.


One major red flag- She asks me very personal questions sometimes, so much so to the point where I feel violated. And that's what kind of scares me.

She was asking me what intentions I had with her, and I told her eventually I would like to find a chick to take to new york with me and marry her and have kids with her if I felt like she was the one. She hangs up the phone on me, and says "i keep hearing you say if you find some girl you would take her to new york, but it doesnt really seem like your talking about me"

 

[DragonBlood]

I told her eventually I would like to find a chick to take to new york with me and marry her and have kids with her if I felt like she was the one. She hangs up the phone on me, and says "i keep hearing you say if you find some girl you would take her to new york, but it doesnt really seem like your talking about me"

She is feeling insecure after her divorce, and you are only making it worse by pushing for sex and acting aloof.

/thread



After reading through I strongly disagree with the advice you have gotten so far. Its shockingly bad. I dont even see the relevance of the 2hr drive. If she is going through a life change this is far from permanent. Perhaps thats why she is curious about your plans (to some degree).

You confused her by saying "find some girl". Have you not already FOUND the girl? Or is she just a warm up while you look around? Im sure this chick is use to empty promises as far as kids and marriage is concerned, and these are the last topics you should be bringing up. Your aloof act that you are not desperate for sex isnt fooling her for a second, I think she has every right to be so jumpy. I dont buy the marriage curve ball you threw in there. Your intentions do not match your words.

Let go of sex (your oneitis), dont talk about marriage, really connect with this girl and bring positive emotions. She needs to heal and feel a connection for you. Your thirst for vag and to "seal the deal", which is fair at your age, is actually hurting you right now.

If we are really talking about the future... I would have worded it like this. "I would like to take you to new york, Ive always dreamed of moving there <reason>". DONE.

later in convo: "There is an american style diner I know, lets go there this week". So how this goes? Pull her into your fantasy. Be chill. Even Im excited about going to the diner now and living the new york experience haha. Why are you not having fun with this girl? Whats going on here? Best of luck to you captain.

 

[captain55]

Just found out she was never really divorced.. When I call her out on it She said she could never take me seriously even though she had feelings for me and figured I was never going to commit to her..bottom line is guys she was attracted to me but . She knew I had options and was seeing other women...add to the fact that ...I'm way better looking and taller than her ex I can't see why she would go back to him. She has been on and off with him for like eight years though I guess he has that advantage over me. I feel like this site has hurt me more than helped me. I think my game has gotten so good that women think I'm full of **** because they catch feelings for me so fast...that they.back off and get scared. If all I did was be straight up with her from the start, and told her she was the only girl I was talking to I think she might of taken me seriously. I told her the only reason I did that was cause I assumed she was doing the same and she said she wasn't. I know things won't work out between them most likely but the question is will she hit me up again. I could tell by her texts I think she has some feelings for me..but I ended the Convo.

 

[captain55]

Another thing I should mention. I called her a divorcee with baggage just a few weeks ago when you guys remember me telling her to **** off. Is it possible that my words hurt her so badly she ran back to the ex? She's nor with the guy for five months and gets back with him a week after I said that **** and she had a huge meltdown ....can't be a coincidence.

 

[captain55]

Not only do you have a serious case of ONEItis because you chased the IM ALMOST THERE BRAIN ON HYPERDRIVE ****.

Im questioning your sanity and intellect. You are 22 years old. You as you state"have the world by the balls". Yet there is a 4page thread on some DIVORCED CHICK THATS TRYING TO MAKE YOU SETTLE DOWN AND TALK ABOUT KIDS. I REPEAT YOU ARE 22. Can you even take care of yourself, or do mum and dad still help you out. Look in the mirror for a few seconds, and slap your self on the head.

wake the **** up.

She lived two hours away...she wasn't easy...she was hot. I don't know if I liked her as much as I thought I did. This place has turned me into a bit of a serial dater. I enjoy the challenge. If she had commited to me early on I think I would of been done with her by now. Imnstarting to get caught up.in the chase...instead of putting my time into building a relationship with a quality women.

 

[Infern0]

Just found out she was never really divorced.. When I call her out on it She said she could never take me seriously even though she had feelings for me and figured I was never going to commit to her..bottom line is guys she was attracted to me but . She knew I had options and was seeing other women...add to the fact that ...I'm way better looking and taller than her ex I can't see why she would go back to him. She has been on and off with him for like eight years though I guess he has that advantage over me. I feel like this site has hurt me more than helped me. I think my game has gotten so good that women think I'm full of **** because they catch feelings for me so fast...that they.back off and get scared. If all I did was be straight up with her from the start, and told her she was the only girl I was talking to I think she might of taken me seriously. I told her the only reason I did that was cause I assumed she was doing the same and she said she wasn't. I know things won't work out between them most likely but the question is will she hit me up again. I could tell by her texts I think she has some feelings for me..but I ended the Convo.

So she's a deceitful liar, insecure, drama queen etc.

Good game weeds these kinds out very early as they can't stand not being in control

This site hadn't "hurt you" it tried to save you from a messy situation even though you tried your hardest to stay in it.

Let's hope she doesn't contact you again, you are a glutton for punishment

 

[captain55]

So she's a deceitful liar, insecure, drama queen etc.

Good game weeds these kinds out very early as they can't stand not being in control

This site hadn't "hurt you" it tried to save you from a messy situation even though you tried your hardest to stay in it.

Let's hope she doesn't contact you again, you are a glutton for punishment

HAHA true. But I gotta be honest, at the end of the day....all the little games i played with her, being aloof, dissapearing, spinning plates, etc. IT all just hurt me in the end. I liked her and I should of just tried to pursue a relationship with her. I would of texted her alot more...everyday...but I would only hit her up only to make plans when I wanted to meet up, I mean thats how most of us do it right?

Next time I do feel like I like a girl Im not even going to waste my time thinking about when or what I should text her, etc. **** games... Next time if I find a chick I really like Im gonna text her 100 times in a row 5 days a week if I feel like it.

While I was out seeing other women to keep myself from putting her on a pedestal she was feeling insecure and making judgements about me to see if I was relationship material.