We Fall In Love With The "IDEA"

[A-Unit]

When you fall into love or out of love with a person, it's not the person, but the "idea" of the person.


Think about that.


How many guys break up with a girl they've been with for YEARS, pine for her over several months, and after enough BAD treatment, they FINALLY get over her?!


How many women want CERTAIN aspects of a guy that's in line with AN IMAGE THEY? They may SAY they want a certain type of guy, but having NEVER had it, how can they know?


When you find a girl who has big boobs, dresses sexy, is intelligent and wild in bed, you're falling in life with the 'idea' of who she is.


To test this reality...think of any girl you've dated...has there been a point where it changed?


...perhaps over a long enough period of time, you couldn't tolerate the bad treatment and finally, FINALLY, you moved on, because now you see her as bad.

...or, a girl you dated recently, you're neutral on, until she goes and does something EITHER VERY sex, or unsexy.


It's happened quite a bit to me, and it leads me to EXPLAIN alot. We don't fall for reality, our mind has us fall or fall out of favor with the idea concocted in our brains. When you break up with a girl, her one BAD action hasn't been sufficient to override ALL THE GOOD she's done. It's inconsistent with your IDEA or IMAGE of her. Yet, over time, you will gravitate toward the next image.


YOU CAN MAKE THIS WORK IN YOUR FAVOR...

It's called being "aware" of your image, and what you're conveying to people. It's conveyed from your innerself, because 93% of what you are is communicated through nonverbal cues.


I. Firstly, whenever you break up with a girl, next her and so forth, keep in mind image/idea versus reality. Put this in a matter of scope. Was the transgression REALLY that bad, or are you overreacting? Did she cheat on you, or just forget to call? Can you go a day without talking to her?

In the grand scheme of things, flaking isn't the end of the world. It will piss you off, and show little interest, but things do happen. Likewise, don't fall in love so quickly just because she says one right thing. It will take a series of events to cement a new image in your brain.

II. Secondly, first impressions. All she knows of you is what she'd see the first time. Even if you're different than how you come across on the first interaction, she won't know that. We're largely visual people, because we have to make split second decisions, dealing with what we see is easiest.

If you're first impression is meak/weak or bad, she has no other images to go upon. Unless you match her ideal, which is possible, but not likely, it is important to remain within yourself and establish it right from the start to gain max leverage. Then you do follow-up actions remaining consistent to your first image. Break that cycle and you weaken your position.

III. Thirdly, this is why your concept of love is so messed up, because the 'idea' has been sold to you, never made a decision on what it is you feel about love. Many would get wishy washy about it. You can't. Read what's going on. Wake up! See what's truly going on!


When considering, image, consider that for your own self preservation, and to gain leverage on her. Most people fall in love when they're apart, NOT when they're together. When you're apart, you're thinking about and feeling all the things you did while you were together, and that's what enables the mind to create such an obsession, to create such a demand on the body for the repeated sensation. When you're apart, you can COMPARE life WITH, and life WITHOUT you, or her. The idea reinforces itself, it grows or dies.


It also helps to understand HOW this works, as you can use it to progress a relationship. Since reality tends to be only a perception for most of us, from our varying vantage points, based on mood, etc, using image helps one create whatever reality you desire, present anything you want to a person, and have them feel/believe whatever it is you want. It's not really being fake, since they're already being fake with themselves. It's giving them what they want.





A-Unit

 

[thecraftylefty]

As much as I wish you were wrong about this "idea" A-Unit, it's the truth.

A lot of people buy into meeting our "soul mate, our "one and only," and the concept of fate. But those are just ideas pumped out daily by the masses. The ideas don't have much bearing on their own without a slew a people mindnumbingly following them. So the pattern keeps flowing.

On the other hand, I think it's just the way mankind has progressed throughout the years. And that's not to say it's a bad thing. We're always going to have the things that are good and bad for society. Ideas are going to be refined and passed through the generations regardless of what is best for them.

Why? Because, right now, it's the idea of having an ideal life, with a beautiful wife, and 2 1/2 kids, a nice place to live, and more luxuries than is necessary. If that's what ANYBODY really wants then that's absolutely fine, but don't want it because that's what everyone else is doing. Think for yourself about personal matters that are going to follow you for the rest of your life. Hell, I have high aspirations like anybody else, but for MY own reasons.

Personally, when I feel like it's time to settle down and choose a life companion it will be when I am ready to, not because I feel an unnecessary compulsion by what everyone else thinks I should do.

Think for yourself.


thecraftylefty

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Lefty n Crafty,


this is also why love CANNOT set in for a time period so that the true image comes to fruition. At first glance, you ask WOW, she's hot. That triggers the emotional response to procreate and fvck like rabbits. However, what does she do for you!?


Looks are nothing beyond the first date. And for men who have their shyt together, where does a woman fit into our lives if they're not attempting to fill the holes left void by our own dynamic energy seeking to conquer all?


The most successful family dynamics I've witnessed came when the men tended careers and women tended home. Not only does she play teacher, day care provided, chef, financial home manager, home buyer, but she's the anchor in the nest. All families I've witnessed with such a structure had annual incomes about $100k, and most above $250k. This because they LEVERAGED their individual but necessary qualities.


I say this because, we must look past the image we get so transfixed upon.


Male - leader/power polarity

Feminine - lover/follower polarity

If you seek a woman who's like you, you seek a twin sister, or a mother, not a woman, not someone who complements you, but a mother, a sister, a cousin, an aunt. While you may want they in your "IDEA", what inevitably works to BOTH your advantages is the polarities, the opposite polarities. Why?

Because your power and strength of masculine energy IS her love. Our protection IS love to women. Why do women most often go to men who provide free comfort and advice? They don't go to women for this comfort. Nor do we men go to ladies who are lesbian, feminist, or otherwise. Also noteworthy, women who TRY to be masculine is a huge turn off for most guys. The more aggressive the male, the less attractive they are. Why?

Duplication. Balance. We are strong, powerful, logcial, balanced, grounded, we desire something soft, feminine, something we fix and protect and sacrifice for. It's not only natural, it's should be.


Dating back in time...Asexual reproduction started out. The problem being, if an organism only maintained ONE type of genetic type, any diseases or retardation of the species would bring about imminent death. So sexual reproduction evolved so that the 2 sexes could pass on genes more efficiently, safely, and with less likelihood of a species dying off due to weak genes.

And from a bibilcal/religious standpoint, women are but a component of men, sometimes the better piece, nonetheless a piece. So what's that mean?

FIND ONLY WOMEN WHO LOVE TRUE MEN.

IGNORE THE IMAGE of WOMEN WHO ARE PERFECT.

Millions of studies have confirmed women from broken homes, divorced families, abusive relationships, etc, are not, and never will be truly ok. In some way, they seek the same power we possess, confusing the roles. AND, they never come to naturally love and respect us as we do them. Think about it: Do women actually pay THIS much attention to men? Do they jump on a website learning how to attract us? Are they taking home economic classes? Are they growing to add value to our lives?

Since the dawn of time, men have, for the most part, remained changeless. We've conquered. Provided for. Built up. Taken down. And we've done so quite well. Why the attack on us now? Why the abject sexuality and devience of women? You mean sex means MORE to you the MORE you have it with MORE people? How can we value anything that is so easily free and easily gotten? WE talk about value as it relates to our personal relative to women, what about as it relates to sex, or relationships. Does dozens of casual relationships provide skills to have BETTER relationships, or do you just learn that more and more people are less of what you like and become more disillusioned?

We need to change the mentality of allowing women to pick men like they'd customize a car or a house. This starts with us, for we can't issue a decree changing the world, or enacting a new law to bring about a change, so it starts at home. Over the weekend I heard...

"I dumped my Xbf because he sucked in bed. Amongst other things."

"I dumped the guy was I dating because he drove his original car from HS and he had not heat, so I drove."

"I want to find a guy tonight to be my sugar daddy."

While most of it was tongue-in-cheek from beautiful women (some of whom I've briefly dated), most of it says: they've got nothing better to say or present than sex for money.


Energy.

Our personal energy is boundless. Each night it is recharged. And, if you eat healthy and workout, it will remain high and attract all you desire in life. However, each thing we do in life takes a piece of our energy. From pursuing women, to working out, to building a business, to sports, to driving, to sex, the more people you spread this across, the less you posses. You, as boundless as you are, cannot satisfy the whole world, nor your whole social circle.

You must be replenished. Be it from friends returning favors, buying you a beer, offering objective advice, to a woman supporting (not criticizing) your goals. To realize this enables you to place emphasis under her image DOWN TO HER CORE. To see her for what she is.




A-Unit

 

[DJDamage]

The most successful family dynamics I've witnessed came when the men tended careers and women tended home. Not only does she play teacher, day care provided, chef, financial home manager, home buyer, but she's the anchor in the nest. All families I've witnessed with such a structure had annual incomes about $100k, and most above $250k. This because they LEVERAGED their individual but necessary qualities.


I say this because, we must look past the image we get so transfixed upon.


Male - leader/power polarity

Feminine - lover/follower polarity

If you seek a woman who's like you, you seek a twin sister, or a mother, not a woman, not someone who complements you, but a mother, a sister, a cousin, an aunt. While you may want they in your "IDEA", what inevitably works to BOTH your advantages is the polarities, the opposite polarities. Why?

Because your power and strength of masculine energy IS her love. Our protection IS love to women. Why do women most often go to men who provide free comfort and advice? They don't go to women for this comfort. Nor do we men go to ladies who are lesbian, feminist, or otherwise. Also noteworthy, women who TRY to be masculine is a huge turn off for most guys. The more aggressive the male, the less attractive they are. Why?

Duplication. Balance. We are strong, powerful, logcial, balanced, grounded, we desire something soft, feminine, something we fix and protect and sacrifice for. It's not only natural, it's should be.


Dating back in time...Asexual reproduction started out. The problem being, if an organism only maintained ONE type of genetic type, any diseases or retardation of the species would bring about imminent death. So sexual reproduction evolved so that the 2 sexes could pass on genes more efficiently, safely, and with less likelihood of a species dying off due to weak genes.

And from a bibilcal/religious standpoint, women are but a component of men, sometimes the better piece, nonetheless a piece. So what's that mean?

FIND ONLY WOMEN WHO LOVE TRUE MEN.

IGNORE THE IMAGE of WOMEN WHO ARE PERFECT.

Millions of studies have confirmed women from broken homes, divorced families, abusive relationships, etc, are not, and never will be truly ok. In some way, they seek the same power we possess, confusing the roles. AND, they never come to naturally love and respect us as we do them. Think about it: Do women actually pay THIS much attention to men? Do they jump on a website learning how to attract us? Are they taking home economic classes? Are they growing to add value to our lives?

Since the dawn of time, men have, for the most part, remained changeless. We've conquered. Provided for. Built up. Taken down. And we've done so quite well. Why the attack on us now? Why the abject sexuality and devience of women? You mean sex means MORE to you the MORE you have it with MORE people? How can we value anything that is so easily free and easily gotten? WE talk about value as it relates to our personal relative to women, what about as it relates to sex, or relationships. Does dozens of casual relationships provide skills to have BETTER relationships, or do you just learn that more and more people are less of what you like and become more disillusioned?

We need to change the mentality of allowing women to pick men like they'd customize a car or a house. This starts with us, for we can't issue a decree changing the world, or enacting a new law to bring about a change, so it starts at home. Over the weekend I heard...

"I dumped my Xbf because he sucked in bed. Amongst other things."

"I dumped the guy was I dating because he drove his original car from HS and he had not heat, so I drove."

"I want to find a guy tonight to be my sugar daddy."

While most of it was tongue-in-cheek from beautiful women (some of whom I've briefly dated), most of it says: they've got nothing better to say or present than sex for money.


Energy.

Our personal energy is boundless. Each night it is recharged. And, if you eat healthy and workout, it will remain high and attract all you desire in life. However, each thing we do in life takes a piece of our energy. From pursuing women, to working out, to building a business, to sports, to driving, to sex, the more people you spread this across, the less you posses. You, as boundless as you are, cannot satisfy the whole world, nor your whole social circle.

You must be replenished. Be it from friends returning favors, buying you a beer, offering objective advice, to a woman supporting (not criticizing) your goals. To realize this enables you to place emphasis under her image DOWN TO HER CORE. To see her for what she is.

Your best work yet, A-unit keep up the good work.

 

[thecraftylefty]

Grade A-Unit,

Masterful way of wording your thoughts.

Originally posted by A-Unit
Since the dawn of time, men have, for the most part, remained changeless. We've conquered. Provided for. Built up. Taken down. And we've done so quite well. Why the attack on us now? Why the abject sexuality and devience of women? You mean sex means MORE to you the MORE you have it with MORE people? How can we value anything that is so easily free and easily gotten? WE talk about value as it relates to our personal relative to women, what about as it relates to sex, or relationships. Does dozens of casual relationships provide skills to have BETTER relationships, or do you just learn that more and more people are less of what you like and become more disillusioned?

Great questions that needed to be asked. Regarding the last question, for me, I think it really depends on the person. If a person has always has the exposure to people who have let them down their entire lives then that's what they come to expect, sadly. Friends will abandon them, and girlfriends will cheat and only want them for sex (if they're lucky enough to get it) and money.

But it doesn't have to be that way if you come from a strong background that allows you to access what is truly important (or if you have a strong sense of self to overcome your harsh upbringing; confidence in yourself is so important). Relationships can be really good for a someone who has never been in one. The companionship of a GOOD woman is something that every man should want one day. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to genuinely go out with and have fun with mulitiple (as you put it dozens of) women while you're young. I think it's healthy.

Moving on...

Why are they attacking us now? The advent of television and the internet. More women feel empowered because their ideas can, and have, spread. Their ideas of equality in EVERY aspect of life are pervading society, with a vast majority of them that I sometimes look at with disgust and feek contempt for.

Pretty soon they're going to want the men to bear children, literally. Remember the movie Junior starring the Gov. of California? Science has done some amazing things in the past 100 years, so I wouldn't put it past them to figure out a way to do this (I shudder just thinking of some poor sap in the future telling his wife he'll gladly stay at home with a bun in the oven instead of the woman doing it, naturally). When is it too much? How far will they take it? Some say there's no need to panic. But if things keep changing in their favor at the rate they are now I wonder what I'll be like in even 50 more years.

Heck, today you'd be hard pressed to find a guy that's divorced getting custody over his kids. Women are getting the preference. Two parents have a hard enough time raising children, let alone one parent. And when one's influence is missing the child is missing out on so much, whether it's the mother or father. A father provides guidance and discipline, while the mother nutures and comforts.

Our naturals roles of man and woman are being skewed so much that the lines have become blurred. Yet they are in place for a reason. I'm following my role. I'll build my skyscraper high into the sky. I just hope others can follow their hearts and do the same.


thecraftylefty

 

[A-Unit]

Brainwashing.

It can't be both ways. Women can't take the lead role, but then expect men to be true men, head of households, and uphold their position. Likewise, a woman can't be a woman if she tries to usurp the man's role. As previously mentioned, the chemicals in our body (hormones,etc) make us wildly different, not to mention the 'essence' of our birth coupled with our respective upbringing [the views imparted on boys are far different than those imparted on girls by mothers and fathers].


Kids are overly sexualized. Yes, it's far too young to be troubled with dating, mating, and hooking up. I've had 16 year old cousins traumatized by emotions over older guys. Why should such a young girl worry about that? What is she to think of relationship as she matures? Will they be as dispensible as kleenexes when her time to committ comes?


One point often missed is that, so long as a 'free market' of dating exists with promiscuous players involved, women and men will have little comfort that a spouse or lover won't cheat. It's no different than the people who jump ship to get lower interest rates on credit cards. If a lover/spouse feels that someone BETTER can treat them more appropriately, you leave them. When were we sold this bill of goods that relationships and love are easy?


I see many posts that speak of timidity with regards to women. Guys are more passive and laid-back about how they persue women. They put it on the women to make moves, when in fact, its always been the GUY choosing the GAL for his life. And somehow we flip flop it on here? Can you see why guys/AFCs come from a position of weakness? They don't understand their own identity in society.


Isn't telling a woman precisely what you want without fear of the consequences BETTER and MORE MASCULINE than trying allude or seduce her into it? I reflect on posts relating to "The best way to call her." "The best pick up lines." You're looking for effective communication? Tell someone precisely what you want so they can see if they can give it to you. No b.s.


When guys approach the site, fundamentally they're still operating from a seduce/supplicate mentality. Even trying to conjure up images of the 'prize,' of metrosexuality, of any other device NOT man is still weakening your position. It's on society and wicked devices inside of that's trying to wean your power. What have us boys/men done wrong to be crippled, hobbling around Dell Desktops TRYING, PLEADING, PANTING to score pvssy, when by natural right MAN-WOMAN is natural? How has it been reduced by false institutions and thoughts?


This is why, as it relates to those seeking quick fixes, there are, never will, and should never be a quick fix, or you're negating your own masculinity. Pvssy needs you, YOU don't need pvssy. Remember that. A woman CANNOT be independent AND SEEK marriage. Can she?


A show of hands please. How many guys reading this post want a domineering woman to lead their lives for them? How many guys ONLY want some beauty queen whom he must clean up after? If you don't, then don't try to change her, CHANGE YOURSELF. DON'T accept their way of life. DON'T accept her as is. She's as much programmed as you're allowing her to be. A woman doesn't know about herself except by which means she knows her life. For example...


Most guys know that a woman's first glimpse of a man is her own father. If he's a great man who she respects, then she in turn trusts, respects, and loves men. These are the best women of society, but so few meet the test.

If he divorces the family and has no interaction with the girl, she will most likely grow up disliking men, since the closest man to her life has desserted her, all men, in her estimation will do the same. Even if a woman life this married, it will take a sufficiently LONG time to correct the scars. Do you want to be her bandade?

You needn't look far to discover the truths self-evident in this post and references. And from personal experiences, I've witnessed the effects first-hand as I've (like most) have dated women from broken homes, who's father left them, or abused the mom, or even wen through a divorce alongside them.

They thrash out, hate men, and are generally reckless enough with hearts they figure all men do it, why not break a few more?

The opposite happens to a guy who loses his father. He can resent his dad, OR, if he's too close to his mother, come to the boundaries of disliking his own sex.

As guys who are logical and prudent, we MUST change and recognize it. We MUST awaken and protect ourselves. You think I'm kidding? Why's the divorce rate above 50%? Why do girls seem so jaded about love? Why are women flocking to careers in droves, when in fact, their deepest desire is to have a baby?

A quote I would like to site:

Career is a feminist lie. Since when are careers the source of human fulfillment? What is so great about being an Assistant Loan Manager at a bank? Is society expected to provide successive legions of eager feminists with "fulfilling" careers to compensate for their loveless lives?

I'm not negating what value is provided by women, but many girls hit their mid 30's having never done what they desired: have a family and kids. Now, they're past their prime of desire.


Worse off, I came to the waking realization when it hit me that, everytime you go somewhere, you consider that girl a potential hook-up or mate. How overly sexual and gross can that be? Checking out your buddy's girl, or any ole skank at the bar (god knows' where she's been), or any lass working at the bar? That sort of thinking begets the dog-like behavior feminazi's like to tout as 'male.'


A woman is meant to BUILD UP your life, NOT BRING IT DOWN. NEVER EVER NEVER sacrifice your deepest desires for a woman. All we currently have is wrought by our forefathers with the aid of strong supportive women, and those who lost empires, did so because they let a woman overly influence them. A beautiful woman is wonderful, but that complete abject spread of it reminds me of such a Soddom and Gamora (sp?), like we're parading right into hell or something.


I honestly and truly believe at least the men on this site taking concerted efforts to better themselves and understand the programming they've been subject to have wonderful lives ahead of them. But to do so, you need to shed your masks of illusion and see reality for what it is. See around you. Question everything. Don't be a zombie and never live alive as you should. Live as you desire, even if that means a harem of women, should you really want 100 period-hoarding bytches ragging at one time.


To have any success, you must first have success over yourself. Allowing weak women into your life is a great way to weaken yourself. If you've got a promising future, and you allow some feminazi into it, you risk losing 50% of your fortune, and the potential happiness with a great mate. And while people would say certain institutions are dead, they're only dead in the mind if you never support them.


Ask yourselve those all important questions...

What value does sex have the MORE you have of it? Isn't it just masturbation as 2 parties act out skits from a Ron Jeremy film? Wasn't it supposed to be extracurricular activities with someone you love?

Do you value women the more you meet? The more you have, do you build up the value of a woman?

And if all you seek is pvssy, what value do you see in yourself and in your own life? What value do you place on yourself and the quality of woman you want in it?

The easier the woman, the less value she has for you, and you place on yourself.




A-unit

 

[Now What]

Re: Brainwashing.

Originally posted by A-Unit

I'm not negating what value is provided by women, but many girls hit their mid 30's having never done what they desired: have a family and kids. Now, they're past their prime of desire.


Worse off, I came to the waking realization when it hit me that, everytime you go somewhere, you consider that girl a potential hook-up or mate. How overly sexual and gross can that be? Checking out your buddy's girl, or any ole skank at the bar (god knows' where she's been), or any lass working at the bar? That sort of thinking begets the dog-like behavior feminazi's like to tout as 'male.'


A woman is meant to BUILD UP your life, NOT BRING IT DOWN. NEVER EVER NEVER sacrifice your deepest desires for a woman. All we currently have is wrought by our forefathers with the aid of strong supportive women, and those who lost empires, did so because they let a woman overly influence them. A beautiful woman is wonderful, but that complete abject spread of it reminds me of such a Soddom and Gamora (sp?), like we're parading right into hell or something.


I honestly and truly believe at least the men on this site taking concerted efforts to better themselves and understand the programming they've been subject to have wonderful lives ahead of them. But to do so, you need to shed your masks of illusion and see reality for what it is. See around you. Question everything. Don't be a zombie and never live alive as you should. Live as you desire, even if that means a harem of women, should you really want 100 period-hoarding bytches ragging at one time.


To have any success, you must first have success over yourself. Allowing weak women into your life is a great way to weaken yourself. If you've got a promising future, and you allow some feminazi into it, you risk losing 50% of your fortune, and the potential happiness with a great mate. And while people would say certain institutions are dead, they're only dead in the mind if you never support them.


Ask yourselve those all important questions...

What value does sex have the MORE you have of it? Isn't it just masturbation as 2 parties act out skits from a Ron Jeremy film? Wasn't it supposed to be extracurricular activities with someone you love?

Do you value women the more you meet? The more you have, do you build up the value of a woman?

And if all you seek is pvssy, what value do you see in yourself and in your own life? What value do you place on yourself and the quality of woman you want in it?

The easier the woman, the less value she has for you, and you place on yourself.




A-unit

An amazing post, A-Unit, and you saved the best parts for the end.

I definitely think that too many girls are screwing around, literally and figuratively, in their early and mid 20s when they are at their prime for having and taking care of children.

That oversexualization comment is so true. I'm more or less over that now, and now it's nice to have female friends. Particularly the various single mothers who happen to be my co-workers. We enjoy flirting with each other, but it's pretty innocent, and really just and ego builder for me and them.

The comments about valuing women and only letting quality women into your life really hit home for me. Do you have any insights on where or how to meet these high quality women? That is, quality women who want quality men, and want to get married and have kids, and want a strong marriage and family life.

Attracting women is no longer a problem for me. Instead, I find myself getting older, going on 26, and while I know this is not exactly considered old these days, I feel I've "been there, done that" for many things in life, and I find myself wanting to get married and have kids.

And as such, I am now more concerned with finding quality girls than easy puzzy. So far the best candidates I've found have been from a church group I attend, and from dance classes, and potentially dances (clubs) too. I've found age 18-35 church groups a good way to meet nice, clean, unmarried people. I also like dance classes, I love women who can dance. I don't go to clubs too much any more, but I'm not ruling them out either, again I love girls who can dance.

Dancing to me suggests a girl who is sexual, but clean. No one thinks less of a girl who dances with many different men, and many probably think better of a girl who can attract so many men without having sex with them.

 

[Freeman]

for a-unit

Such wisdom and charcter in one thats only 24 is admirable. I commend you on your work here!

 

[A-Unit]

Market Your Love Life.

If you have self love, all else will take care of itself. What does that mean?

Your outside world is created by your inner world.


One must gain clarity from the berage of sensory hits you take each day.

Ask yourself:

"To which woman could I entrust my spirit?"

That will ground you enough to look beyond the puzzy, because all girls have one. And any intelligent, enlightened guy knows sex is best with a girl that cares, not with some hoe paid to do certain motions. Even a drunken hookup can hold back her best cards out of fear or lack of comfort with you.


There's not a "best" place, you just have to be ready for all interactions and stop living the "programmed" life in your mind. For me, it wasn't NLP that did it, it was part seductive material, part metaphysics, part spirituality. Seductive material has its place, as I find it easier and more fun to communicate WITH the girls I like, RATHER than try to coax the girls I don't like into liking me. That's weak, EGO, SHYT. Stop doing that.


You're the center of your universe, everything else outside of you is orbiting positive or negative energy, and depending on your choices, will build you up or drag you down. You must remain solid within your world, because that's where Personal Power starts. You have it, you just haven't exercised it. SO START!


___________________________


You see...for you to find the women you desire, you first should center yourself around where you want to be.

For instance, I enjoy working out, martial arts, riding my motorcycle, reading, investing and real estate. Those aren't the best venues to find decent women, so I must...

...approach any girl *I* like.
...visit venues that have women, like bookstores, the beach, yoga classes, singles websites, benefits, fundraisers, etc.
....treat friends and family respectfully, b/c they'll refer you women.

You don't need to be a symp here and you don't need to be a d!ck, just realize we're all on a separate spiritual journey, and lashing out, hurting, or injuring another person won't change a thing except to temporarily eleviate some anger. In the long-run though, you breed ill will and contempt, bruise potential relationships, and foster bad energy.

Alot of people have judgement issues. Well, frankly, the higher powers that be created the 6 bill of us there are, and they didn't seem to have a problem with diversity, nor do they judge us as harshly, so why should you?


___________________________

Brush up on your skills. Yes, these are skills. Pimp skills. Self improvement is the fundamental of life and growth. It's why we're here, but it won't put a chick on your d!ck. And if a girl only loves you for the things you got around you, then doesn't love you, she's superficial and loves YOUR LIFESTYLE, YOUR IMAGE. Change that, pure, true connections are bridged from spirit to spirit. As men, you need to awaken from social programming and tap her spirituality and emotional side, while owning the skills of a player/pimp AS NEEDED.


Put it this way, I'd hate to know I'd have to throw down for stupid reasons, especially when I've had friends who had guns pulled on them and been face to with 10 heads pullin' my girls system, but it's nice knowing I can handle the situation IF NEEDED. Pimp/player skills are the same way. It's like having the weapon and using it AS NEEDED. It's better to have it and not need it, than NEED IT and NOT HAVE IT. You got me?


__________________________


Put it in perspective. The journey of success is a just that, a journey. Each attempt is just a brick in the wall, a notch in your belt; it's not weakening you, it's strengthening you. It's as if every blow to your being becomes larger, just as the HULK got more intense that madder he got.


Life never gets easier, you just grow and get better at dealing with the shyt that comes wit it. If you don't, that's the death of the soul and spirit, and why so many men are thrust into depression. They anticipated life to be easier, or different, when in reality, as you grow more responsibility is thrust on you, which you must grow to bear.


__________________________


I'd said before it's lame to post about a chick, b/c the minute you do so you should immediately forget about her. The very fact you've posted means you've centered her enough to make it a relevant enough issue in your life to spread amongst other people. Tell me...

....with all the possibilities of topics, from health, to wealth, to career, to dreams, to sports, to cars, to whatever, what is *this* gaining favor in your life?

Maybe it's just me, but when you take the blinders off and realize that a b!tch shouldn't occupy enough space to fill this board, you'll be awake. Personally, I commend the SSer's for their candid detachment of persuing relationships and their open exchange of sarge reports. FROM THOSE, you can learn, at least to get into her more.

____________________________


The beauty of it all is the connection you formulate with her through questions and seduction. Seduction is all those elements which spring forth from you. A person who digs themselves, eats right, takes care of themself, and has passion for life will naturally seduce anyone. YOUR SEDUCED BY LIFE, even if it's THEIR LIFE. They're insync with their life. Their body language is confident. They know what they want, they don't back their eyes away because they're comfortable in their skin and happy with their life. They're the center of their universe and nothing effects them unless they CHOOSE to be EFFECTED.

_____________________________


Tell me, I know past to some matters, and to others, it doesn't...but if a girl did EVERY conceivable sexual thing possible and then told you she did it with 10 other guys, would you feel as if what you were doing was special?

Probably not. I admire the girls who don't give up words easily, b/c you know they're the ones who value you as special. THERE'S FEW men, if any, they would trade a good girl, for a downright slut who'd suck his c0ck in day light in public as a wife. A girl like that is nothing more than a free prostitute.


Men aren't violating this whole balance BECAUSE men aren't getting emotionally involved with the women they're fvcking. Are they? Most guys here who said 'no.' And most guys doing field reports would say 'no,' too. But there's a funny paradox to this whole INDEPENDENT movement. The value men placed on sex derived from women was THEIR PURITY. It was their value to fvck only 1 man. Why was it ok for men? Because the underpinnings of sex were in balance.

Men = random act, emotionless

Women = sex, full of emotion, purity

Is it chauvinistic? Hell no. Why? Because thinking we're SO 'equal' negates...

...the fact we're human and have a higher level of consciousness than animals, making us non-animal.
...and our individuality of sexes, the very essence of being our separateness with respect to masculine and feminine energy.

If this case weren't so, then we could all be gay and just put babies in test tubes. But it's not, men and women seek relationships for the traits we inherently possess. And it's not the superficial ones of cooking/cleaning, if you really found a woman who couldn't do that, you could hire a girl to do it. No, you seek a woman to provide support, emotional fulfillment, love, devotion, and surrender.

Not only is society seeking to destabilize traditional relationships, forces are at work to do that.

How many signs or ads have you seen stressing a good relationship between man-woman?

How many tv shows portray a good relationship with REAL people?

_________________________

An exercise to conclude my tirade on this soap box I stole...

Turn away from TV, the media, and news outlets for 2 weeks. Just 2 weeks, a month if you can hack it. See what your INNER feelings and beliefs are. See how much free time you have. See what feelings guide you in life. See how your emotions calm down and the sex drive declines as you're not submerged by so many sexual images (on mtv it can be over 100 in a day).

Even Senor Fingers recommended such a strategy to gain "feeling" with your INNERSELF, and if you can do that, you can return to life. You won't need to live in front of the TV which is owned by big business, which is controlled by the wealthy, and governed by the FCC so heavily.



Peace.




A-Unit

 

[Julian]

i keep thinking this thread title says IKEA...

 

[Ricky]

Great tip.

You know what bothers me....

Dating a girl and one little blowup ends it. The girls today act on a "What have you done for me lately" system.

I can't deal with walking on egg shells around a girl. It is total bull**** to have to deal with.

 

[Virtú]

If you can't deal with it then don't walk on eggshells around her.

Seriously, if she's the kind of girl that you'd have to walk on eggshells with, then chances are you wouldn't want her even for an ONS.

If anything, she should have to walk on eggshells around you, going out of her way to satisfy you.

Unless dating is merely a social activity for you - in which case nothing I said would apply.

 

[Double]

hey virtu you have learned something. now keep on lifting hard.

 

[Virtú]

Women want everything on your terms, not theirs - all that they want, in their predictably backward and indirect fashion, is for your terms to be exciting and pleasurable for them as well.

It really is as simple as being enough of a man to just take what you want - all the seduction techniques and sexual knowledge are just tools for making this fact more palatable to the woman, to make their surrender worth their while.

The emotional bond that women crave so desperately, and which the successful DJ can create for her, is what makes this all possible.

 

[Double]

i agree absolutely. and i think thats great because i like things simple and on my terms. but the more important question is how does one become that man?

 

[Virtú]

Originally posted by Double
i agree absolutely. and i think thats great because i like things simple and on my terms. but the more important question is how does one become that man?

That is EXACTLY what I've been asking this whole time!

I guess it has to do with embracing your power to act in the world, a healthy dose of arrogance and selfishness.

Self-esteem - "You may..."
Self-confidence - "You can..."
Testosterone - "You will..."

Ask yourself what is stopping you from doing as you please ... aside from unavoidable things like laws, physics, and your desire to do well for yourself.

Chances are it's simply fear, or a lack of one of the three things I mentioned.

Do everything in your present power to increase those three things - testosterone is the easiest: lifting weights, team or combat sports, etc.
But start small, and progress gradually, or else you'll be discouraged by the enormity of the task that you've set for yourself.

As your power grows, and more importantly as your awareness of it grows, you'll begin to realize that you're too strong to be harmed by things like pain, difficulty, or disappointment.
When you realize that these things cannot harm you, your fear of them will diminish.

Now that you have become a strong man, the next step is to learn what your woman's piece of the pie is. Become aware of her and how she responds to things - this will require you to be able to read her, and to remember what you see.
If her piece involves something you enjoy, then take it as an invitation to do that thing as much as you can, and to let her tag along if you wish.
If her piece involves something new that you think you might like, then develop a taste for it.
If her piece involves something that you don't enjoy, then you have a choice. You can either put up with it, ask for something in return, or dump her.

 

[Double]

i know you been asking this question, virtu. thats the reason why i asked you. well i have the testosterone part pretty good down nowadays - with competitive sports and most importantly lifting and massive eating. but what i have big troubles with is the confidence and self esteem part. i have the feeling in the last couple of weeks/months that i just gotta do what i have to do, but at the same time i dont really believe in success or myself. but i just do it. also i dont believe that i dont make it - it is like a vaccuum. self respect and standing up for myself has become second nature to me and attracting women is pretty easy nowadays. but still i have no confidence and no self esteem, i fear things like presantiations and that i will switch back to being a nice guy with women. because i failed with these things in the past.

As your power grows, and more importantly as your awareness of it grows, you'll begin to realize that you're too strong to be harmed by things like pain, difficulty, or disappointment.

so you think if i just keep going then eventually in a couple of months i will gain confidence and self esteem? what do you think of visualition - like imagine yourself being confident in a speech or something?

 

[Virtú]

Originally posted by Double
i have the feeling in the last couple of weeks/months that i just gotta do what i have to do
but i just do it.
self respect and standing up for myself has become second nature to me and attracting women is pretty easy nowadays.

First of all, give yourself some credit for what you've accomplished. You're leaps and bounds ahead of most guys here.
If you have approaching and attracting women licked, then start escalating things with them. Don't worry about relapsing so much; you know what the symptoms are so you should be able to recognize it and stop it before it becomes a problem. As long as you're doing what you want on your terms, and she's just along for the ride, expendable and replaceable, then I doubt that there would be any problems.
As for presentations, the same rules would apply; do it until you're not afraid of it anymore, then keep doing it until it becomes second nature, then start having fun with it.
Eventually, you'll need to start enjoying who you are and what you do, otherwise it will just be a chore to you. Let it please you.

Originally posted by Double
so you think if i just keep going then eventually in a couple of months i will gain confidence and self esteem? what do you think of visualition - like imagine yourself being confident in a speech or something?

That's right, just keep pushing yourself. Maintain what you've already accomplished and keep expanding it little by little. Eventually, the reality of what you've become will fully internalize, it will become a part of you, as automatic as breathing. Then you can relax and take pleasure in your new self.

Many guys here recommend visualization as a way of both clarifying your goals to yourself and working out a way to achieve them. However, from my own experiences, I feel I should warn you that visualization is too easy to be treated lightly. Never allow yourself to be seduced by its ability to let you "live" your dreams without actually doing anything.

 

[Double]

thank you for your long reply, virtu. yeah right i should give myself some credits, i was pretty much the definition of a nerd - i really was everything what describes a loser. okay, i wasnt fat, "only" very skinny, but you can't be both. so i come from practically nothing. nowadays i'm friends with the cool guys who were too cool to talk to a loser like me. and the really funny thing is now that i'm improving even more, they start to look up to ME. but on the otherside this stuff is so fvcking strange, i dont know who i am nowadays. you're right that i'm worrying too much. for example....i'm sometimes really nervous about a simple situation like a phone call....cauz i was so damn scared in the past.........but when im actually doing it i'm relaxed and confident. or when there is social reunion with guys that made fun of me in the past and girls that ignored me in the past....i feel very nervous about it. but when i'm actually there the guys suddenly respect me and the girls suddenly come to talk to me, accidentantly pushing their T&A against me

true i know the symptoms and what to do against them.....so i don't need to worry so much about getting oneitis, i just have to keep the right mindset.

Eventually, the reality of what you've become will fully internalize, it will become a part of you, as automatic as breathing. Then you can relax and take pleasure in your new self.

that sums it up damn good! i hope soon it will become internal and i can reap the fruits of my work.


editk then i will be careful with visualisation. but thing is i have a damn hard time to visualize myself cauz i first need to think about how exactly i look, thats damn hard if the body is constantly bulking up and the hairstyle etc changing. but the best thing was when a while back i couldnt believe that i was the guy on the picture lol.

 

[S0LID]

Double, same stuff happened to me. The girls who never used to look at me, now approaching me, the guys who used to pick on me talking to me normal, it's almost as if i'm above alot of them, and I look down on alot of them thinking of it. Thing is though, I wouldn't want to be good friends with them now, I'm above most of them now, so why bother?

I think you should do what I'm trying to do, and thats to look your best so you don't care what you look like, if you know what I mean. So your comfortable in your own skin.