"We don't have to have sex every time we hang out"

[MattR1984]

So my most recent plate who's a hard 9, smoking hot and I've been seeing her for about a month dropped this line on me when I was making out with her and warming her up. It had been 4 days since we last had sex and she was leaving town with family for four days the next day so I was trying to get it in with her, didn't happen.

She stayed at my house till about 2 in the morning all cuddled up by me, rubbing on my neck, shoulders, giving me a massage and making out with me but no sex. I even tried again and she said she's set on waiting till she's back in town and it'll be that much better by waiting till then. Minus the sex though it was a pretty good night. This is the second time in the past two weeks she's denied it

She's naturally not too sexual, told me that she "thinks" she's had an orgasm before. She also doesn't do oral, or receive it. Doesn't like certain positions. Says she didn't have sex till 19 or have a serious boyfriend till then and can count all her partners by using her hands so 6 to 10 is what she claims. She's only been down for misch and her on top (yes really). This being noted it makes me believe she's just not a girl who wants to have sex each time we hang out.

We had sex the third time we hung out and she was at my place but it took forever to make it happen, probably like 1 1/2 hours in my bed room. After that she said she was freaked out because she never moves that fast.

So after she left that night(the most recent one when she stayed till 2 and we didn't have sex) she said she'd text me the next days, never did, day after that, never did, I didn't either. She finally text the day after that and was like hey stranger, what are you doing. I just said I was at the gym, and ask what she was up to (40 minutes later) she waited like 3 hours to reply back and said she was getting her hair done or something. I haven't replied back and won't tonight anyways. We sorta have plans tomorrow to hang out and I'll probably text her and see if we're still on.

So have you guys ever dealt with a girl like this before? I don't believe I have. They are usually all about it or not at all. This one is wishy-washy at times but always accepts my hang out invitations or counters if she can't that day. She cooks for me when I'm at her place and if she comes to my house always offers to bring dinner. Should I continue to press for sex each time were together, or should I respect her thoughts on not having sex each time were together? Thoughts gentlemen?

 

[Peña]

Doubtful she is a 9. A plate is to have sex with. If she doesn't want to have sex find another girl unless you want her to control you.

 

[devilkingx2]

she doesn't sound so great. sounds like a prude to me, either that or she doesn't really want your D(if her stories check out, she's a prude, but I've found that you should take nearly everything a woman says personally)

 

[Skyline]

She wants a relationship out of you. Think about it, you've been all sex until now.

 

[Peña]

Waste of time woman

She wants a relationship out of you. Think about it, you've been all sex until now.

She avoids sex.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

No BJ's or like fo recieve?? wtf...OP is 30...how old is this broad?

Some of my best ex's would be soaking wet after a BJ! I'm with Devil, she goes into the prude catergory for me since no bjs or recieving?!

This will not change even if you do commit, she's using sex as power which is a big NO-NO redflag for me! Woman with high IL usually don't complain, idk man just don't get butt hurt. Sounds like you are handling that part fine. Maybe y'all aren't compatible? Some chicks just aren't as slutty as we hoped them to be.

Usually if I'm sexually frustrated I'll start arguments, try to catch yourself before that happens.

 

[Zarky]

Meh, she sounds frigid. The most beautiful woman I ever dated (a Brazilian chick) was also the absolute worst in bed. Beautiful face, amazing body (esp. ass), toned and tan. Great personality, really funny, knew English well, had beautiful Brazilian friends. Loved to kiss and make out....

But when it came to sex she was awful. She just lay there unmoving. She was so bad that after we f*cked twice I dumped her. Just done.

Some chicks are like that, man. Odds are this chick is the same. Many women just are not sexual creatures. Especially if she's non-orgasmic, then you're fighting a losing battle.

I wouldn't take it personally. But if you're a horny motherf*cker like most guys, you're going to have some problems here.

If things were different.. if she had a rockin' sexual history but was frigid with you, I'd say it had to do with something she's trying to get out of you. But since it appears that this has to do more with her personality than with your relationship, I'd say it's got essentially nothing to do with you.

 

[Frostman]

Women who complain about sex are trying to get rid of you.

 

[Jaylan]

Dear lord...why do men date women like this? If you knew she wasnt too sexual from the get go, and you knew she never got much enjoyment from sex...why in the world are you dating her!?

Next her and find a woman with a good sex drive.

The girl Im seeing has some sort of sex with me every time I see her. Our sex life is great, we have very good chemistry and its always fun and lively. Find a woman like that.

 

[LMFAO]

She's not worth your time. You need to make it clear to her that sex is important to you, without actually saying it but with her understanding it emotionally. Tell her you should just be friends if you don't have the right chemistry where you can't your hands off each other. This will get her hamster in a spin and see if she actually does give you a BJ after that and who knows what else. Seriously find other girls to bang. A hot woman isn't worth anything if she doesn't have proper sex with you.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

"Agree and amplify."

Quick story: there was a girl I was dating (girlfriend at the time, actually) whom I'd regularly invite over to my place, and most of the time we'd end up having sex. Then, one day, she comes over and we're watching a movie on my bed when I start making the regular moves that would be indicative of me wanting to have sex with her. I'm trying to place my hands in certain places and/or trying to start taking off certain articles of clothing, but she keeps moving my hand away and rejecting my advances.

Finally, I just ask her what's up (since she hadn't really done this before). In short, she tells me even though she thought I liked her, she felt like I only invited her to hang out so we could have sex, and that it wouldn't matter if it was her or someone else lying in my bed as long as it ended in physical relations. Now, this is a girl whom I was regularly giving screaming orgasms to (to the point where she'd be crying with tears in bed and asking for repeat performances); and yet, because of the frequency at which we were doing it, her emotions made her feel like maybe it was all simply because I wanted to get my rocks off (and again, this chick was my GIRLFRIEND).

So, what did I do? Well, I could have tried to argue with her by presenting a rational argument about how she was my GF and that I cared for her, and how I thought she liked sex, how could she be feeling this way, etc... but, as people on these boards can attest to, spewing out logical arguments to a woman who's thinking emotionally isn't going to get you your way. Instead, I decided to...

"Agree and amplify."

In short, I said two things:

Thing #1: Well, I thought you were enjoying the sex we were having and was just trying to bring you pleasure.
Thing #2: How about we just stop having sex altogether?
Her reaction: What?
Thing #2 (Continued): Yeah - I've told you before I'm not just in this for the sex. If you're feeling some kind of way about it, though, we can just put the sex on hold for a while. I'll still continue to hang out with you, but we can just forgo having any kind of sex until you feel like I'm in it for more than tha-
Her reaction (Continued): Oh no no no, okay, no, we don't have to go that far - okay, I get it, I think I just needed to hear that so I'd feel secure that it wasn't just about sex for you.

10 minutes later, we had sex & she had an orgasm. My response: "See?? This is fun, right? I don't know what you were talking about earlier!"

But the truth is, I did - she had a feeling about something and needed to get it off her chest; rather than deny that feeling or fight against it, I agreed and amplified which caused her to realize just how STUPID her feeling was so we could move past it. BUT - and here's the kicker - SHE has to be the one to decide that what she's feeling is stupid, not you. Which is why if you argue against it you LOSE. She wants to feel heard and like you understand her and her emotional state, even if what she's feeling in the moment seems like complete hogwash to you.

Anyway... hope this helps!

 

[Meisterman]

If she doesn't put out, then you WALK out. Plain and simple.

 

[Firestar786]

If she doesn't put out, then you WALK out. Plain and simple.

Couldn't have said it better !

 

[nismo-4]

Would she tell this to Brad Pitt? I guarantee she wouldn't!

Would you tell this to Kate upton or Sofia Vergara? I know I wouldn't.

She is a prude to you. Not good. Since she sees you as a beta, or beta bucks, you are either gonna be:

1. A beta orbiter who ALMOST gets her, but she won't put out.
2. Relationship before sex.
3. Just friends.
4. A receiver of blue balls.

She is all but sex. If she wants sex, she'll find a way to get it. But, she has sex as some prize and is making you jump through hoops. Hence she is in control.

Rollo has an article on his site called wait for it. In another article, there is a line that goes "Look bytch, your pu$$y ain't made of gold and I have plenty other women ready to go if you don't straightenthe f**k up." I paraphrased it, but I never tested this line out.

Alas, erase and replace this girl. Too much trouble. Denying sex for the first time? Low interest at it's finest unless you're just a friend.

Case closed.

 

[johntab67]

This is a great thread that is worth reading and implementing in your repertoire:http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=162412&highlight=recommended+reading

If you don't next and give her another chance, use the info from the above thread. If that doesn't turn her around next her. Implement the "orgasm deficit method" (she has 5+ to your 1-2) and you will own her.

 

[Poon King]

OP.. she is losing interest. The less control you have.. the lower the woman's interest. This is why abundance is so important and you should have SET STANDARDS for how you believe a woman should treat you. Women who deviate should get dumped. Period. I don't care what they look like.

All situations with women are pretty simple. We make them complex by factoring in the lies, manipulations, mind games and bullsh!t women are notorious for.

Few men seem to understand that women have no problem lying to men. In sexual relationships, most women are full of sh!t from start to finish. You can easily expose and nail them with a few simple questions. Their reactions will tell the truth.

As a general rule.. if a woman is being honest and you ask her to justify something she wants/does.. she will happily respond with the answer (with no attitude at all). HOWEVER, if you ask for justification and she gets angry, defensive, and emotional.. this means she is FULL OF SH!T and trying to manipulate you.

In this case you need only to ask the question: Why are you acting different now than earlier in the relationship?

I predict her reaction will be to blame it on you (tell me if I'm wrong on this). And she will definitely get defensive and emotional. Why? Because she is full of sh!t. That's why.

Observe the reaction.

Also, as others have said.. never let the woman lead the relationship. That puts you in beta status. The woman should follow your lead or p!ss off. No exceptions.

 

[MattR1984]

Just a update here: We were supposed to hang Saturday night but I canceled it. I countered with Sunday(forgetting she had plans already and had mentioned it to me before she left) she said she couldn't then so I offered Monday maybe. She said yeah we'll hang Monday.

I'm going out with a different girl I put on the back burner for a month recently tonight, she always smells great and we'll be on my couch and her smell will definitely be in my house Monday night for the one this thread is about to smell haha..

Anyhow from the comments here and talking with a buddy about it the direction is clear. If Monday goes anyway but perfect she's gone. I won't waste my time with games or flaky behavior, no one has time for that. The comments on here were good about how to handle this or what she probably is trying to do.

My friend even said she might be banging another guy and feels guilty about having sex with both of us. Which could be possible and I can't really complain as I am sexing 3 others at the same time as this one. But like I said. If it doesn't go perfect Monday I'll either break it off then or just not talk to her anymore and see what kind of result that yields. Thoughts on how to break it off between keeping it real and telling her I'm done with her because of the obvious or just going no contact?

 

[old_skoolr]

My motto when it came to broads and oral was "If she don't suck then we don't f.uck."

I suggest you follow it Op in future, hence you wont have to deal with problems like this.