Watch Out For Borderline Personality Disorder Chicks!!!

[Homeslice]

Holy sh*t, this post REALLY hit home... just broke up finally with a girl EXACTLY like this (outside of the cutting) who I had become too emotionally involved with... here's the story...

Hooked up with her while she was still dating her b/f of four years, he was the ONLY person she had ever been with. Needless to say, after a few months, I was the second. As I was in my DJ'ing days back then, I didn't really give a hell if she ****ed him, as I was just using her as a f*ck buddy... Of course I let my feelings get out of control, she would always tell me she was going to leave him, she even would sometimes, but then just go running back to him shortly thereafter. Finally, she found out after she told me for the upteenth time she was going back to him, that I was seeing a few other people...

This of course set her off, as she could no longer have me at her whim, and she calls me Friday night BAWLING about how much she loves me, etc. etc. I told her I cannot take her any longer however, and it just isn't worth it.

To any guys going through this type of thing, I know its hard to do, but just drop the chick. Trust me, if you can get a girl that fine once, its not hard to do it again. I had to find it out the hard way, thinking she was too hot to drop, but after I did I've found myself with quite a few beautiful women who I would take over her any day. You just don't realize it when you're with the one you're with. Good luck and stay strong.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

HOMESLICE:

Yeah bro a lot of psycho byatches like this are out there!!!

I have to admit, when I met her I was at the height of my DJ'ism. I was messing around with 4 other girls and she had heard all about my "reputation" across school. She told me about her bf right off the bat and said not to worry about it though. She was all over me from that day on, she even left her bf for me. Here's the problem with these girls, they're emotionally unavailable!!! They are so fuvked in the head from whatever bullshyt they've been through that they have no regard for emotional feelings that normal girls feel. Sure they HAVE feelings, but they block them out. All these crying episodes and claims of love are complete and utter bullshyt. There's only one way to handle this chicks:


RUN AWAY AND DON'T LOOK BACK!



PIMP

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Defensive System: Projection

"It is this projection out onto others of all that is essentially reality inside of the borderline themselves that leads them to often be so abusive to those around them".

One of the many defense shields used by BPDs is called PROJECTION!

Projection is to blame another person for one’s actions.
Primitive and Infantile Defense
In Adults: Chronic in most personality disorders

Projection – Action
You made me do it! Ever hear those words from an angry and frustrated child? In essence, the child is projecting the responsibility of his/her actions onto someone else. This child is anxious to rid themselves of the garbage. Projection is to ‘blame’ another. And, the words, ‘you made me do it,’ slip out ever so easily.

A little 5-year-old girl was listening to her grandparents in a tiff. Grandma said, “You made me [do this]!” Grandpa said, “No, you made me [make you do this]!” Finally, K, an intuitive child, shouted in response, “Stop projecting!” She caught them both by surprise. A small child had recognized projection in action.

Example #1: (Action)

Jim is holding an expensive camera. Jane is fumbling with the keys to the door. In the meantime, Jim drops and breaks the camera. Jim screams at Jane, “See what you made me do! I broke it because you didn’t open the door!” Jim blamed Jane for dropping the camera. Jim could have prevented the camera from dropping if he had employed foresight and safety measures..i.e putting the camera band around his neck.

Projection – Emotional
You make me [feel] so mad! This is a bit more complicated because a degree of transference is involved. Easy speak – Transference = transferring memories from the past, placed onto a different person.

The derivatives of transference in this case transmutes into projection. Meaning, if an individual gets angry beyond the objective meaning of the statement, (reads more into it than intended) then a level of projection is at work. In other words, a person that reminds another individual of their hated father (transference at work – transference is ALWAYS a distortion), and OVERREACTS to a statement from that person based on that memory (triggered), then, that excessive anger would be projection.

Example #2: (Emotion)
Jane said, “Jim, just make a choice. We don’t have all day.” Jim screams back, “Why don’t you just shut your big mouth?” and stormed off. On examination, Jim grew up with an over critical, and impatient mother. When Jane made her remark, Jim regressed into the child that hated his mother. Jim did not see Jane standing there at the moment. He saw his hated mother, in the transference. Now that Jim has a bigger body and is more confident to protect himself, he reacted in defense of the critical mother. It happened in a snap of the fingers. In this case, Jim was projecting out of his transference. Jim had distorted Jane into his hated mother. Remember, transference is always a distortion.

Projection Keyword Alerts

· ACTION – You made me do it!

· EMOTIONAL – You make me feel this way!

By the way, Is transference (another defense shield) and projection the same?

No. Some claim they are the same because psych can become convoluted (duh) to the point meanings are no longer clear to the novice. However, on exact examination, projection is ‘caused’ by the transference. Transference is ‘activated in the person, and projection is the release of that transference out of the person. One treater said, “I hope you know, all this anger you are projecting on to me is not my anger, it is YOUR anger.” The client coolly said, “Can you think of anything better to do with it? (Gabbard)

Transference – K. Stringer
http://www.toddlertime.com/terms/transference.htm

Defense Mechanisms – K. Stringer
http://www.toddlertime.com/terms/defense.htm

Unlocking the Secret of Terms – K. Stringer
http://www.toddlertime.com/borderline/psych-101.htm

Bringing on! Let's disarm those b!tches!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Phoenix:

Nice post!! One of the most blatant examples I can think of with the psycho girl I was involved with was the following:

I had taken her to my fraternity formal and she started opening up and telling me all about how much she cares for me and such. I blew off her feelings and laughed and she got so upset that she left me at the formal. Well her formal was 3 weeks later and although we had fixed the arguement by then, she took another guy. I told her I know she's going to fuvk him (we weren't together at the time) and she looked me dead on in the eye and said, "No I'm not, I don't want to." Well the night of her formal she kept on calling me (attention w-hore) but I didn't answer, she's leaving voicemails telling me to come over there and spend the night with her.

Anyways the next night she's at my house and she's all over me. I push her off me and I look at her and go, " You fuvked him didn't you." She goes, "yeah I did. But only because YOU didn't come over!" WTF is that!!!! Then she goes on and gets emotional and says, "Well what do you want me to do? Your the one who's fuvked 4 girls in the past month!" I laugh and say who told you that!!" She goes, "Don't worry about it." Of course that was a lie to justify her slvtness.


Wow I can't believe I hung on to her crazy @ss for so long.



PIMP

 

[BrokenTrustDrummer]

yeah, sometimes being with girls like that can be like being trapped. i know that you shouldn't feel responsible for anyone else's feelings but when it comes to life and death it gets scary. one girl told me that being with me was the only thing keeping her from killing herself. you dont want to stay cuz she's psyco, but you can't leave as quick as you'd like to because she might just do it. good post, get it in the open

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Childish behavior!

"Are you gonna fu!k him? ... Then she looked me dead on in the eye and said, "No I'm not, I don't want to."

Definitively, childish behavior.

People from cluster B disorders are the masters of the "winning award" for acting!

I'm just wondering how they get this "knowledge", do they study this?, are they trained?, are they gifted?

If a girl comes on strong/acts childish/extremely flirty/extemely sexy = BIG red flag!

Man, we, still, have a lot to learn. A lot of psychology material, be sure of that!

P.s: Pimp, RKtek has some really interesting posts abour HPD. Be free to check it out!

Keep posting!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Pimpsicle, I didn't see this thread until now - in my day we use to call these type of women "Lying Wh@res!!". I think she is a hor first and then may have some type of a psychological disorder. I know these types very well and have tried to warn you of her deceit and selfishness!!

Without taking her supposed undiagnosed psychological problems into account you still should NOT have trusted her or have become emotionally 'serious' with her because this is not what a man does with a Hor and a Liar!!

As soon as you trust a hor you lose and eventually will feel like a fool for embracing her horish condition and the lies that accompany her hor mindset!!

Don’t do this again!!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

PRL:

Oh trust me brother, I learned my lesson!! I was very naive and a little too ****y through out this whole episode. Believing that since I was such a "pimp" I could have my way with her. And I DID have my way with her for a long time until I developed feelings for her stupid @ss. Its been almost one month of no contact. She hasn't called in a while but I stopped answering them and she has all her friends call/talk to me all the time and I tell them all the samething. "I don't care, I don't want to know and it doesn't matter to me anymore."


Only weird part will be in a few weeks. We are all going on that cruise I mentioned a while ago and I thought maybe she wouldn't go but she is.


PRL: Did you catch the part how she faked a terminal heart condition to make me feel guilty?? That should tell you what type of wacko I was dealing with!!


I think I'm about 70% recovered from this nightmare. However its going to be a real test to see her again.


Phoenix: Thanks for the heads up on RKTek. I spent that last 3 weeks frantically researching Histrionic and Borderline Personality Disorder to have a better insight on what I was dealing with. I found RKTek's posts as well, just wish I would have found them months ago...LOL I'm very interested in this aside from the bullshyt that I went through, its pretty unique shiat.



PIMP

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Pimp, just a little word of advice for when you go on the trip, be aware that you will probably relapse into your old patterns and feelings when she is around. Not much you can do about it, just be aware of it.

This is one of the main reasons you can't go back with Exs. The old you resurfaces.

We often see posts from guys who say "I was an AFC with her before but now I'm a DJ. Will she fall for me now when she sees the new me?" NOPE. Your old psyche with her will just return.

Just pleasantly ignore her on the trip and continue with the "she means nothing to me now" frame.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I'm impressed!

This post is really interesting/useful for us, but not too many peple have read it!

I would call this thread an extension of "the worst kind of girls"! They're really dangerous.

My problem was excactly number 6:

If a man pursued her, she wouldn't be interested, but let a man pursue another woman, and she will fall deliriously in love.

Then number 9:

The difficulty in "working" with women with BPD is that they will actively coerce nurturance until he burns out. There's a risk for an increasing sense of loss of control (on his part).

Look at her crazy behavior:

I'd say something she said to me to a girl friend, then later the psycho girl would deny. Guess what, everybody thinks I`M the lier/crazy (wtf?)

She was blatantly flirtying with a guy and everybody saw, when I called her on her behavior she said "I wasnt flirtying with him! I wouldnt have talked to him, if he hadnt talked to me" Which is a lie, because I saw, she was the one "pressing the buttons"!

This is the Projection shield Sh!t! (now it makes sense!)

This psycho knows I love/know about computers, then she entitled herself to go around saying I`M a hacker (Wtf?).

Once she sent an email to our group like this: We gotta meet at my house , bla, bla....we`ll have a party!

Do you see?? She doesnt even ask, she demands us. Be there, instead of Will you be there?

Another day a friend of mine called her then she said "Hi x EVERYBODY is sending you kisses here!"

Wtf? NO ONE was sending kisses to him! (This reminds me of a story a saw. A girl once brought a bouquet and when she arrived home was saying that a guy gave it to her!)

When I call her on her BS, I`m the bully one, I'm the messed up one, I'm the envy one (wtf??). Guess what, To hell with her and the whole group!!! If they can't see they're been used its their problem, I'm out! I knew that there was something wrong going on, but I didnt know what. I thought It was me, but it was really her.

They're so damaging that even psychologists have a hard time, see:

"The therapeutic relationship with individuals with BPD can be so unstable that service providers bounce back and forth between the excessively distant and excessively involved extremes -- mirroring the clients' pathology!

Individuals with BPD bring intense moods, extraordinary demands for attention, testing behavior to the treatment process. They can provoke feelings of helplessness and anger in service providers.

Willingness to consult with a colleague is also an good indication of a healthy approach to working with these individuals. "

They're so nutcase that even psychologysts may consult a colleague when treating someone with BPD!

Now probably most of the people I know is thinking I'm the psycho one! Oh Gosh, I deserve that!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by JustDoItAlways
Pimp, just a little word of advice for when you go on the trip, be aware that you will probably relapse into your old patterns and feelings when she is around. Not much you can do about it, just be aware of it.

This is one of the main reasons you can't go back with Exs. The old you resurfaces.

We often see posts from guys who say "I was an AFC with her before but now I'm a DJ. Will she fall for me now when she sees the new me?" NOPE. Your old psyche with her will just return.

Just pleasantly ignore her on the trip and continue with the "she means nothing to me now" frame.

Just: Yeah bro I appreciate the heads up. But I was never a AFC with her. I was the ulitmate DJ, she even told me that she's never been so challenged by a guy she wants the way I challenged her. Sure I did/said a few AFC things towards the end but that's before I knew what I was dealing with. I reallly doubt I'd slip back into wanting her again, I just have to look at her for what she did to me emotionally and I'll be fine.


I'm not even going to talk to her. If she talks to me I'm going to act like I didn't hear it....




PIMP

 

[Deep Dish]

There is some controversy within the mental health field as to whether mental illnesses are biological or sociological in origin. Leaving those uncertainties aside, it should be noted that such women as described in this thread often come from abusive backgrounds. In screening, it would be advisable to ask a woman if she was sexually or physically abused, if her parents are divorced, if her parents were alcoholics, and if she has any history of drug use or alcoholism. It should also be noted that chaotic individuals seek out other chaotic individuals, because childhood trauma programs them to seek out chaos, and so a man who is drawn to chaotic women, of whatever variety, should evaluate himself.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Good View

"It should also be noted that chaotic individuals seek out other chaotic individuals, because childhood trauma programs them to seek out chaos, and so a man who is drawn to chaotic women, of whatever variety, should evaluate himself".


Well, for sure!

There's a study asserting that some people with disorders are attracted to others with a different disorder. Like a controlling one with a dependent one. That's what we call symbiosis.

But don't forget that there're some people that are wearing a "mask", so we think we know them, but they're just wearing this mask as a way to extract something they want.

Sometimes we bump into those individuals without noticing how crazy they are, sometimes just with time we really get to know them. Or maybe by talking to a lot of people close to the one we suspect, recent, past, very old partners/friends!

For example, there's someone I know that is really charmy, charismatic... The kind of person you really think "wow", "he's amazing" BUT, as I'm close to him, I know he's knavery, lier, egotistical player, and takes advantage of whoever is on his way, it doesnt matter if its his cousin, uncle or friend!

At first I just thought he was an egocentric guy, but this is more related to NPD (narcissistic personality disorder)!

What a traitor! He can stab you on your back/pocket/emotion with no remorse!

The more I read about PDs the more I'm starting to understand some people around me!

Scary, but as it was said, knowledge is power!

Innocence (for some people out there) = Let's take advantage of him/her! I hate this!

BTW: I'm trying to pay attention to her behavior, in order to see how she proceeds!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Phoenix: You got it exactly right. I got along with this girl so well and we had SO MUCH in common besides are incredible attraction towards one another. However, as I mentioned Histrionics and Borderlines are VERY GOOD at "masking" their intentions. That's where I came up with the Chamelon analogy. They will literally change their colors for every guy they want to brainwash. Then the guy will believe they connect very well. This girl was cute, charming and had the BEST body I've EVER seen. Little girl 5'4 120lbs with a great D-cup rack and a nice bubble @ss. She knew exactly how to work it and that kept me hooked in the beginning. Then once my emotions became involved it was full blown manipulation from there on out.

I also second what Deep Dish says. At the 1st sign of family trouble, abuse or anything out of the ordinary, I'm going to NEXT them because it ain't worth the craziness that is sure to follow.



PIMP

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Good we know this!

Yeah.

We have been there, that's why we agree with each other most of the time.

It's good that instead of "let it go", we "went through" and researched and tried to understand what the hell was going on!

But that's what life is about, we grow up through this sh!t (if we're wise/strong enough), so we don't fall into this trap again!

Unfortunately to them (histrionic/borderline, and most of PDs), it's a vicious cicle, they keep going through the same sh!t over and over! They let their frustations take over they minds and keep damaging themselves and the others, even the ones that love them!

Pimp said:

Histrionics and Borderlines are VERY GOOD at "masking" their intentions. They will literally change their colors to brainwash the guy into thinking they connect very well. She knew exactly how to work it and that kept me hooked in the beginning.

Yeah, I had been there. SHe gives the greatest time you can ever ever have, dresses extremely sexy, looks at you with that "bright" eyes, kino you, caress you, says you're smart, you're intelligent, she says "I like you", "I love you"...up..up. Then when you're completely mesmerized...

BANG, she does something to really piss you off! She lies, she flirts with other guys, kisses other guys, fvcks other guys, despise you...all openly! (As stated on number 5: They pick you up, then they throw you down!).

Then she disappears all "happy" like never ever happened between you and her! (crazily looking for the next one).

This is insane!

Someone with BPD said:

"She feels so abandoned and unloved. She gets very angry, and has tantrums a lot. She doesn't believe anyone loves her, so she tests and tests them til they're gone, then she is again alone. She wants people to leave her alone, then when they do, she feels abandoned".

"I was Picking up men in bars, using them for sex, then kicking them out of my bed before they could dump me - always feeling empty and unfulfilled but avoiding the reasons".

"I ran from one relationship to another, seeking rescue, finding abuse. Thinking if I wasn't abused I wasn't loved. Love? I asked myself, what the hell is love anyway? What am I searching for? It was like hunting for something invisible. Something unfamiliar, but yet something I yurned for. ... the big VOID".

From the Borderline Forum:
http://www.psychforums.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=134

This's sad!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Re: Good we know this!

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
Yeah.

We have been there, that's why we agree with each other most of the time.

It's good that instead of "let it go", we "went through" and researched and tried to understand what the well was going on!

But that's what life is about, we grow up through this sh!t (if we're wise/strong enough), so we don't fall into this trap again!

Unfortunately to them (histrionic/borderline, and most of PDs), it's a vicious cicle, they keep going through the same sh!t over and over!

They let their frustations take over they minds and keep damaging themselves and the others, even the ones that love them!

Pimp said:



Yeah, I went through the same sh!t. SHe gives the greatest time you can ever ever have, dresses extremely sexy, looks at you with that "bright" eyes, kino you, cares you, say you're smart, you're inteligent, she says "I like you", "I love you"...up..up. Then when you're completely mesmerized, then


BANG, she does something to really piss you off, she lies, she flirts with other guys, fvck other guys, despise you...all in an atempt to frustrate you!

Then she dissapears all happy like never ever happened between you and her!

This is insane!

This's sad!

I wouldn't be surprised if this is the same girl we are both talking about!!! LOL

Like I said, I'm probably just going to ignore her on this cruise that's coming up, but I was also thinking it would be really fun to get underneath her skin! Yeah its probably a bad idea, but it would be awesome if I could in a sense, act as she does. I guess from all the shiat I've gathered on BPD & HPD, I could be Borderline just to fuvk with her head! I know I'm a sick son of a byatch..

About the whole people being attracted to their polarity, I think that's very true. In a lot of ways I'm pretty Narassistic. Not to the point where its a serious problem, but definitely more than the average person. And from what I understand Histrionic is a female version of a Narassist. So that would explain the attraction on the mental level.


I'd like to hear some good ideas on how to fuvk with her head a little?? LOL



PIMP


PIMP

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Allert!

I was also thinking it would be really fun to get underneath her skin!

Man, I definitely wouldnt go there!

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I knew from the beginning that this girl was really strange! But as I had known a girl similar to her, I thought I wouldnt get caught out of guard, and that she wouldn't beat me.

But as you're getting close to her "mind", you're gonna be part of her crazy world, you'll be sucked, you'll be manipulated and deceived! You'll be confused and DEPRESSED!

The smoothest guy would be caught soon or later!

It was painful, It cost my reputation as a Dj/good guy and almost costed my sanity, believe me!

"When they need and what they need to, most Borderlines often are compelled by impulse to push away, to sabotage in order to protect themselves from the agony increasing that is ever present inside".

Quote from: http://www.borderlinepersonality.ca/bpddefined.htm

Blue Phoenix (that's me!)

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Re: Allert!

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
I was also thinking it would be really fun to get underneath her skin!

Man, I definitely wouldnt go there!

Yeah I figured you'd say something like that. Your right she did get the "smoothest guy hooked!!" I'll just keep up with my previous statement and stay the FUVK AWAY!!


PIMP

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Gosh!

I sent an email to a psychologist from one of those psychology websites, here is what he said:

"I can't say if she's a psychopath from the net, but if she fits the profile for one, then she might have some psychopathic traits. Definitely stay away from her!".

And from his website, he said:

"People are waking up to the fact that the most dangerous psychopath of all is the educated, socially adept psychopath".

Here's the kicker:

"Dr. Black claims that psychopathy leads right behind depression, along with schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder, which is an astounding fact".

"Typically, they attempt to appear familiar with sociology, psychiatry, medicine, psychology, philosophy, poetry, literature, art, or law".

1. "Those who cannot love want power".

2. "Since love and morality do not get in their way, they often succeed in bewitching those around them" - Guggenbuhl-Craig.

Pimp, does this sound familiar to you?

Until today, this psycho keeps saying "nice shirt", "beautiful watch", and so on.. What does she want from me?