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Was she playin’ me? Ego damaged.

SleepOnTheFloor

Don Juan
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Met a girl out and about a few weeks back, exchanged numbers, flirted, the usual.

Texted all week, as you’d imagine, and I kept it flirty, fun and humorous. The texts became more frequent as a result.

She wasn’t going out the following weekend until I told her she should, so she came down from where she lives (40mins away) to go out with her friend.

Got to the club, introduced her friend to mine, they hit it off (winner), we are all having a laugh, getting with each other etc. And we go back to her mates and the rest is history.

Great compliments came back from the night (ideal), but it comes out that she’s got a date the following night, but she says she doesn’t wanna go but has to cause she can’t cancel last minute, although she would rather spend the night with me. I play it off, ans tell her go for it, otherwise she’ll always wonder.

Think the date went well - she was a bit less chatty the following day. Could tell something was up, she’d be commenting about my recent relationship, my ex (not negatively, but questioning if she was just a rebound), so I reassured her - we spoke on the phone for 2 hours until the early hours, I asked her some questions to which she told me that she really liked me, I’m an amazing kisser, I’m really funny, funnier than the other guy etc... the usual. She also appeared unhappy that she wouldn’t get to see me as I’m on holiday for two weeks.

Anyway, I hear from my mate (who’s now dating her mate) that her mate told him that she’d said that apparently “i’d called her, it was all me on the phone, I told her how she felt and now she was confused”... not true. At this point, a bit angry but don’t wanna believe Chinese whispers so leave it for what it is.

I leave it and the following day she messages me, I don’t reply till a long time after), but we chat loads and, she tells me she missed me and that she wondered why she hadn’t heard from me after the phone call; she’s also initiating topics such as plans for families etc. And even questions my choice of name that it would suit her last name more than mine. She asks if she’s hard work, and if I’m asking her to make a decision on me or the other guy. I say no, chill, then leave it at that.

Throughout this I have been flirty, complimentary and interested in the ‘right amount’ based on my experience, knowledge and research.

This morning my friend tells me she’s going to a wedding with the other fella and that he’s been told by her mate that the other guy is more suitable because he lives closer, she has no intention to move to our city and wants to transfer jobs. At this stage, I realise I should cut it off to save face, so as I do... I begin write a message Inn WhatsApp and notice that she’s deleted some messages for both of us (I didn’t even know you can do that), and literally cannot fathom why - it’s only the one’s where she told me how she felt that she was a rebound, and I said we should talk on the phone it’s easier but they’ve still been deleted.

Instead of questioning her, I told her I can’t give her the time she deserves, and that if circumstances were different, but I have to leave it for now.

Her response is very blasé - “It’s okay, don’t be sorry, I completely understand. Thank you for the message though, it’s better to be honest ”

... now i’m not crying a river here, but my ego is slightly damaged. I do like her, but I am wondering - is she even remotely bothered? Was I just being played? WTF is up with deleting those messages? Did she actually “really like” me at all?

Now I know you can’t show weakness with women and you have to keep it assertive, fun and humorous but part of me wants to call her out on it.

Interested in thoughts on:

- was she actually really into me?
- why delete those messages?
- why did she react that way to me breaking it off?
- if I wanted to turn this around, could I? And how?
 
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sazc

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I refuse to date anyone over 30 minutes away from me. I simply don't have that time.

it was mentioned that she thought the other gentleman was better suited Because He Lives closer. It has nothing to do with you it has everything to do with what she's looking for right now, and what she's looking for is a guy who lives closer
 

SleepOnTheFloor

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I refuse to date anyone over 30 minutes away from me. I simply don't have that time.

it was mentioned that she thought the other gentleman was better suited Because He Lives closer. It has nothing to do with you it has everything to do with what she's looking for right now, and what she's looking for is a guy who lives closer
Fair one, but based on what I’ve been told and the comments she’s made, we are more compatible, click better, laugh more etc... then there’s the sex...

Accordingly to research online, compatibility is what a woman decides on when torn between two guys.
 
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Fair one, but based on what I’ve been told and the comments she’s made, we are more compatible, click better, laugh more etc... then there’s the sex...

Accordingly to research online, compatibility is what a woman decides on when torn between two guys.
What about the sex? Obviously it wasn't better than the other guy, or at least not better enough to make her choose you.
 

sazc

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Fair one, but based on what I’ve been told and the comments she’s made, we are more compatible, click better, laugh more etc... then there’s the sex...

Accordingly to research online, compatibility is what a woman decides on when torn between two guys.
I think you are just looking for ways to make sure that this bruises your ego.
 

Igetit!

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I refuse to date anyone over 30 minutes away from me. I simply don't have that time.

it was mentioned that she thought the other gentleman was better suited Because He Lives closer. It has nothing to do with you it has everything to do with what she's looking for right now, and what she's looking for is a guy who lives closer
That's 100%,Grade "A"......

HORSESH1T.
 

Billtx49

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but based on what I’ve been told and the comments she’s made, we are more compatible, click better, laugh more etc...
You have absolutely no idea about how one on one compatible they are based on what she and others have told you…
She will lie to you to keep you hooked until her transition is completed…
 
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SleepOnTheFloor

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There's your problem.
What about the sex? Obviously it wasn't better than the other guy, or at least not better enough to make her choose you.
They haven’t had sex yet, and like I say, the feedback about me was great. You also know by how a girl moves and moans when you’re having sex that she’s having a great time.
 

simongtown

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She didn't 'play' you, you told HER to see another man! Then she did, meaning she got banged by two different guys on consecutive nights.

If she says she prefers to see you then go see her! You practically inserted another man's **** into her pvssy. Now you are complaining that she played you.

Either you are completely dense or you are trolling.
 

SleepOnTheFloor

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Women choose well before you even have sex when you have value.
Agreed - which is why I am more concerned about the “really like you” comments - she was talking about me all week to her mate apparently. And she was the one saying I’m so funny and that she is always laughing around me.

She admitted on the phone that during the Friday night she told her mate she wanted to sit on my face... I mean from my POV, it all looked positive?
 

SleepOnTheFloor

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She didn't 'play' you, you told HER to see another man! Then she did, meaning she got banged by two different guys on consecutive nights.

If she says she prefers to see you then go see her! You practically inserted another man's **** into her pvssy. Now you are complaining that she played you.

Either you are completely dense or you are trolling.
She said she wasn’t going to cancel last minute, so she obviously wanted to go...
 

simongtown

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You told the girl to go fvck another guy and she did. Now you are wondering why you lost the girl.

No one is that dumb. No one.
 

SleepOnTheFloor

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I just wondered if she was into me like she said because she hardly put up a fight for it that’s all.

Says it all though, really!
 

SleepOnTheFloor

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You told the girl to go fvck another guy and she did. Now you are wondering why you lost the girl.

No one is that dumb. No one.
Don’t remember telling her to go fvck anyone - just said go on the date and work out who you’re more into.

That backfired
 

SleepOnTheFloor

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But that doesn't mean the other guy can't give her a good time also.
Agreed - but it’s also outside of sex - to quote “you’re very different, but he’s not as funny as you, I’m literally always laughing.” So yes, you can be given a good time in different ways.

My annoyance is that she’s not put up much of a fight so I wonder if she was actually into me at all?
 
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Agreed - but it’s also outside of sex - to quote “you’re very different, but he’s not as funny as you, I’m literally always laughing.” So yes, you can be given a good time in different ways.

My annoyance is that she’s not put up much of a fight so I wonder if she was actually into me at all?
How old is she? If she's sufficiently young, it's entirely possible that nothing she says or does means anything at all.
 
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