So this girl I've been studying with this girl now for a few months throughout the semseter. The semester is about to end and we've had some good times... went to a concert, a party, i've kissed her a few times ect. She seems to show good IL. Now, I want to make sure things move to the next level and I am thinking of asking her directly if she wants to be my GF. Basically I just want to make sure she doesn't think of me as a friend ( I don't think she does) and want a relationship with her (shes a good girl). Anyway, what should I say/do? Thanks in advance.
Want her to be GF, should I ask or wait?
- Thread starter Newbie01
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Paid Laid & Made
Senior Don Juan
Okay, normally as a rule do not ask, its just sort of assumed after kissing and like 4 dates. Especially if she is only doing stuff with you. I did ask one time though back in the AFC days ... and I basically asked her to the movies (chick flick) on Friday night and after the movie, we discussed it and I basically said ... "Oh man I had a great time and I know the both of us have been spending alot of time together lately and to be honest, I am liking you a lot and I would really like you to be my GF." ... she looked surprised but said yeah. So its all good. But trust me, assuming might be a better idea, as this chick I did the asking with later told one of my friends that I should have assumed and not been a little wimp and asked.
Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
If you've kissed her on the lips, it should just be assumed. Although saying something like, "You know....it seems that you want to be more than just friennds, but I'm cool with that." would work.
So your saying I should keep on kissing her and not bring it up? I was thinking I would kiss her and then say something like ' I want you to be my GF'... For some reason it's hard for me to treat her like a GF (ei hold her hand/ put arm around her) since I haven't brought it up. I guess I should just do those things and it will be assumed?
FitnessGuy
Don Juan
Have you guys had sex?
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Dood your 23!! And your asking a middle school level question!!! LOL
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If you go out with this girl all the time and you've fuvked her then you shouldn't be afraid to hold her hand or do all that other lovey dovey ****!! Its ASSUMED that you 2 are together!! NEVER EVER EVER NEVER ASK her to be your girlfriend!! She'll know that your very inexpierenced and it might even turn her off big time!!!
PIMP
]
If you go out with this girl all the time and you've fuvked her then you shouldn't be afraid to hold her hand or do all that other lovey dovey ****!! Its ASSUMED that you 2 are together!! NEVER EVER EVER NEVER ASK her to be your girlfriend!! She'll know that your very inexpierenced and it might even turn her off big time!!!
PIMP
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
the last time I asked a girl to be my "girlfriend" - I was 11 years old! hehehe - u r 23?
Dude, I'm glad you asked us before you embarassed yourself - this is what we are here for.
Dude, I'm glad you asked us before you embarassed yourself - this is what we are here for.
thegamedontwait
Don Juan
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"NEVER EVER EVER NEVER ASK her to be your girlfriend!! She'll know that your very inexpierenced and it might even turn her off big time!!!"
That **** is so true. Things were going real good with this girl and she had even mentionned and hinted several times that she wanted to be with me as in g/f and b/f then and I was sure we were pretty much hooked up already. But as everybody kept asking me if the two of us were together I brought it up and all of a sudden she said she didnt want to have a relationship with me.
Still dating her like every few weeks and hope I can turn that thing around by taking her virginity during the next couple of weeks. Otherwise : NEXT!!
That **** is so true. Things were going real good with this girl and she had even mentionned and hinted several times that she wanted to be with me as in g/f and b/f then and I was sure we were pretty much hooked up already. But as everybody kept asking me if the two of us were together I brought it up and all of a sudden she said she didnt want to have a relationship with me.
Still dating her like every few weeks and hope I can turn that thing around by taking her virginity during the next couple of weeks. Otherwise : NEXT!!
LOL, yeah i know im not experienced... That's why I'm on the boards. Anyway, I've kissed her but haven't had sex with her. She's 19 and most likely a virgin (also I think she is very inexperienced), and is pretty shy. I haven't 'asked her out' or made it really known that we are together... Any other advice?
OddTech
Senior Don Juan
You're not even on 2nd base yet. Don't ask to be BF/GF and continue your game. You will know that she doesn't think of you as "just a friend" when you start to go to 2nd base. That's the key: continue your game. You only kissed, which is really nothing.
Slimijs
Senior Don Juan
The PUA think about LTR only after sex. But I guess we all are still Dj here 
But No don't ask her. If she acts like your GF, then she is one
But No don't ask her. If she acts like your GF, then she is one
ok heres my tips from a long line of personal experience.
1. YOU HAVE TO GO THREW A LONG PERIOD OF DATING WHILE HAVING MULTIPLE WOMEN TO EVEN CONSIDER ASKING HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. (you can only be the one who asks if you really got yo sh!t together)
2. DON'T ASK. JUST DATE HER A FEW TIMES A MONTH AND KEEP THE MYSTERY WAY UP. MAKE HER ASK. (nobody has to ask by the way, it can be implied and that keeps way more sexual tension in the relationship... i personally never ask)
3. ASK YOURSELF IF A GF IS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT. SERIOUSLY THE PROS MIGHT OUTWEIGH THE CONS IF YOU STOP AND THINK.
1. YOU HAVE TO GO THREW A LONG PERIOD OF DATING WHILE HAVING MULTIPLE WOMEN TO EVEN CONSIDER ASKING HER TO BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. (you can only be the one who asks if you really got yo sh!t together)
2. DON'T ASK. JUST DATE HER A FEW TIMES A MONTH AND KEEP THE MYSTERY WAY UP. MAKE HER ASK. (nobody has to ask by the way, it can be implied and that keeps way more sexual tension in the relationship... i personally never ask)
3. ASK YOURSELF IF A GF IS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT. SERIOUSLY THE PROS MIGHT OUTWEIGH THE CONS IF YOU STOP AND THINK.
Vigilante7
Senior Don Juan
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U can see the good advice that is given........
IF UR NOT GOING TO GIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM THEN DONT FUKING REPLY....WE DONT WANNA HEAD DUMB AZZ REMARKS ON THINGS WE ALREADY KNOW...........*COUGH* Pimp-sicle *COUGH*
IF UR NOT GOING TO GIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM THEN DONT FUKING REPLY....WE DONT WANNA HEAD DUMB AZZ REMARKS ON THINGS WE ALREADY KNOW...........*COUGH* Pimp-sicle *COUGH*
Pookalicious
Banned
Oh you sillypants!
Forget about these trifling women..they are all full of mixed messages and scary looking genetalia!
Start doing guys!
Once you go gay you wont go a stray
If you have quesitons, just PM me some photos of your ass
Forget about these trifling women..they are all full of mixed messages and scary looking genetalia!
Start doing guys!
Once you go gay you wont go a stray
If you have quesitons, just PM me some photos of your ass
FitnessGuy
Don Juan
It's up to you whether you ask her to be your girlfriend, it might even be a good thing if you do.
About holding her hand, some girls like all that up close attention and it might do wonders for your relationship if you start getting alot more physical with her.
Few things though.
How many times a week do you hang out with her?
Does she call you alot?
What does her interest level look like, on a scale of 1 to 10, you say you have been seeing her a few months but you are still unsure if she is your girlfriend? This makes me think that you guys don't hang out alot.
When you see her do you give her a kiss?
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Bro your 16, you have A LOT to learn. I did give him constructive criticisim!! I fukin' saved his ass from humiliating himself and surely ruining a good thing.
Go cough up your AFC lungs to that.
PIMP
I usually see her a few times a week. She calls me maybe a few times a week too, and I'll call her about the same. The calls are usually short though and just to set up when to study or work on something for class usually.Her intrest level seems good maybe 8.5 out of 10, I kissed her twice so far. Frist time about 2 weeks ago, then second time was kinda a good night kiss about a week ago. Both times she kissed back and it seemed cool. I'm just not experienced with showing affection ect. So I think I need to express more interest? I just feel I could show alot more if I brought up the GF issue and she said yes. I was thinking something along the lines of, 'so we're done with finals now, lets start going out'.?
FitnessGuy
Don Juan
I think you should, don't be scared to be affectionate, because it sounds like you want to be affectionate with her. I'm a very affectionate guy and girls love this, especially my girlfriend, who sounds much like the girl you described, the "good girl" type. I'm always kissing, holding, touching my girlfriend and she loves it, she is crazy about me, now this is when the time is appropriate of course. I don't stick my tongue down her throat in the library hehe.
If she reacts badly to you being affectionate, which I HIGHLY doubt, then she isn't the kind of girl that you need in your life. Again I am pretty sure she will react well to you being more affectionate with her. Next time you see her go up to her and grab her and kiss her, be gentle about it of course. Just say something like "come here" and just be affectionate, do what you feel, just be relaxed about it. Most guys aren't like this, and I think this is why all my girlfriends have always been freaking nuts about me, because I do what I "feel" and I'm highly affectionate. You sound like you are the same way man but you are holding back, just go for it.
About asking her to be your girlfriend, well I think you might as well, in fact I think she will appreciate it if you do. In a normal "girl meets guy" situation, this isn't a good idea, but from the information you've given I think I have a very strong grasp on what the girl is like and what the relationship is like and I'm gonna have to say yes, asking her to be your girlfriend is probably your best bet. Keep us posted on what happened, if you don't reply to this post Private message me or whatever, very interested in seeing where this goes. Goodluck
Thanks FitnessGuy, your post is encouraging. your right, I want to be affectionate but for some reason I just hold back. Theres one thing I forgot to mention about IL which happend about 2 weeks ago.
I was over at her house getting ready to hit the books while she was about to get off the computer. She was on AIM and talking to a friend. I was kinda standing behind her and the friend typed a msg saying 'So whose this lab partner i've been hearing so much about? I'm pretty much her lab partner so Im sure it was me.
I guess this should be a good sign of interest but I always tend to analyze everything, thinking of all the possibilities. I know her initial interest was very high, but almost feel like it might have gone down, not sure though.
Also, is it normal even if she has high IL not to initiate affection? I guess I've been kinda a pvssy and almost been waiting for her to show more affection.
I invited her to a concert this thurs. so maybe I'll be able to make some more moves there. Thanks again guys.
I was over at her house getting ready to hit the books while she was about to get off the computer. She was on AIM and talking to a friend. I was kinda standing behind her and the friend typed a msg saying 'So whose this lab partner i've been hearing so much about? I'm pretty much her lab partner so Im sure it was me.
I guess this should be a good sign of interest but I always tend to analyze everything, thinking of all the possibilities. I know her initial interest was very high, but almost feel like it might have gone down, not sure though.
Also, is it normal even if she has high IL not to initiate affection? I guess I've been kinda a pvssy and almost been waiting for her to show more affection.
I invited her to a concert this thurs. so maybe I'll be able to make some more moves there. Thanks again guys.
