Want her to be GF, should I ask or wait?

[FitnessGuy]

Originally posted by Newbie01
Thanks FitnessGuy, your post is encouraging. your right, I want to be affectionate but for some reason I just hold back. Theres one thing I forgot to mention about IL which happend about 2 weeks ago.

I was over at her house getting ready to hit the books while she was about to get off the computer. She was on AIM and talking to a friend. I was kinda standing behind her and the friend typed a msg saying 'So whose this lab partner i've been hearing so much about? I'm pretty much her lab partner so Im sure it was me.

I guess this should be a good sign of interest but I always tend to analyze everything, thinking of all the possibilities. I know her initial interest was very high, but almost feel like it might have gone down, not sure though.

Also, is it normal even if she has high IL not to initiate affection? I guess I've been kinda a pvssy and almost been waiting for her to show more affection.

I invited her to a concert this thurs. so maybe I'll be able to make some more moves there. Thanks again guys.

Yea I tend to over analyze everything also, sometimes I think this can be good, but I'm sure it can be bad also. Anyways yea that sounds like she does have interest in you from that message on AIM you read.

Few ideas why she isn't affectionate.

1. She is 19, so say she has had 4 serious boyfriends, there is a good chance that these guys weren't all that affectionate with her so maybe she isn't used to being affectionate? This is what I'm leaning towards, and if this is the case this would be good for you I would think.

2. Or it could be because she is used to guys being overly affectionate and initiating all the affection, but I DOUBT is the case.

3. She doesn't like you. Again I don't think this is the case otherwise she would have stopped calling after you two kissed.

My best advice to you is to "not worry about what she thinks" for the moment and start being affectionate, I think you will find that if you start with the hand holding and kissing/hugging/touching, she will respond VERY VERY well, if she doesn't then she simply isn't the kind of girl you need and then you will know that reason #3 I listed above is why she wasn't affectionate to begin with. I really doubt this will happen though, you have nothing to lose by trying. Go for it, just grab her, say something nice, and kiss her. If you are still a little hesitant think of it this way, 5 years from now this won't matter. I mean think back 5 years, you are 23, when you were 18, did anything that happened with any girl really matter that much? My bet is no, so go for it, because in the end little things like this don't really matter, they really don't. Goodluck man. Keep us posted.

 

[Newbie01]

Well, today I had my last class with her and we had our final exam. So as we were walking back I asked her if she was going to the concert I mentioned to her the other day, because I was gonna order the tickets. She said she couldn't go. I'm not sure if she really couldn't go to the concert or maybe she just didn't want to go, I don't know, but whatever.

About 2 weeks ago she mentioned going snowboarding with her friends and said I should go. Maybe I'll wait and see if she calls me for that.

I know at one point her IL was high but I feel like now it dropped. I'm kinda depressed right now but oh well. Should I not bother calling her again and just wait to see if she calls me? Thanks.

 

[SDBmania]

Hmm, tough. Well, if it were me, I would call. That's becuase I can't stand to wait(eventhough I'm usually patient).

 

[LikRetsam]

lol, don't overthink her not being able to go once dude. Take her somewhere where you can really make out. My guess is that removes all doubt of wether she wants you/ gf-bf.

 

[Hercules]

yup never ask, i asked once back in the afc days and she said yes, then i never heard from her again lol

 

[FitnessGuy]

I would just call her and try to take her out, if she keeps saying no then you know you have no chance. I mean if she says no to something else, and then again to something else, then there is a good chance she doesn't like you anymore. Hard to say, and hard to say if that will happen. There could be tons of reasons why she couldn't go to the concert. Maybe she doesn't like the band, maybe she has never been to a concert and is nervous, maybe she doesn't like you, maybe she just doesn't want to go. Regardless of what the reason is, getting together with her and busting a move so to speak would be the only way to know for sure if this girl is girlfriend material for you.

So yea, stick to the original plan I would say. Just don't freak out and be put off if she seems to give a low IL(wow I'm using acronyms now lol) when you take her out, asssuming you do, make the move, kiss, touch, hold her, be affectionate, if she likes you she will LOVE it. Goodluck.

 

[Newbie01]

Ok well, maybe ill wait a few days or so to give her a call. I just don't want to seem too desperate or pushy is all. When do you think would be a good time to call? A week or so?

 

[Newbie01]

Also, any ideas on what to take her out to? I mean I could call her up and ask her to hang out or to go out to eat? Maybe a movie? Also, how long should I wait? I'm not sure if waiting too long will make her lose interest.