Wanna spin plates,but keep meeting women who push for exclusivity. How to deal with it

[Gamisch]

Still new member . Just posted how I went blue pill on my toxic ex and learned the hard way.

Back on the market, putting it in work and having some succes . Both on and off line ,but it's already "getting outta hand". I meet woman, and somehow they immediately want to push for serious relationships. Good ,nice ,kind women I would say ,LTR worthy.

.I am 38 and meet women around 30 mostly .I am far from rich( hyper ambitious , but still shaping my business ideas). Maybe I should add that after my mid twenties I went from one to the next LTR . So I am kinda experienced in picking up and dealing with women, but spinning plates is a new sport to me it seems.

How to deal with these situations? It seems these women smell it on me that I am a LTR type of guy. I rather spin plates and stay " single" but 2 months in and I already see some heartbreaks and pissed off women at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well, most of the higher quality women will demand exclusivity, it’s up to you to shape your interactions so that you can successfully plate them. Most of the guys here claim that their plates all know they’re seeing others, but I would posit that it’s not the case; most of us are simultaneously monogamous with the majority of our higher quality plates.

Attractive women all have options, even gf’s sometimes get distracted - they’d never admit it but it’s true. To them “it’s just sex” a “one time thing” they just vouch it in their minds that way because the “love you”. The only way to keep her monogamous is to see her all the time, monopolizing her so no other guys can get at her, and that doesn’t always guarantee thatshe will not wander from time to time.

Sad, but true. The only way to avoid it is control.

 

[Gamisch]

it’s up to you to shape your interactions so that you can successfully plate them

Can you please elaborate on how? Just straight up lying? Or are there more subtle ways? I ,indeed try to be honest ,but In this fase of my life ,i rather ly well then go through a dry spell (that kinda rhymes well)

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well for someone new at it yes it boils down to “shaping” the truth. I do not lie I just have a lifestyle that allows me many excuses to not be always available. You do, however have to own it, you need to know how to massage the circumstances - most folks suck at this. It’s takes borderline sociopathy unfortunately, and it does take a toll on your soul, if you have one to begin with.

 

[Gamisch]

Well for someone new at it yes it boils down to “shaping” the truth. I do not lie I just have a lifestyle that allows me many excuses to not be always available. You do, however have to own it, you need to know how to massage the circumstances - most folks suck at this. It’s takes borderline sociopathy unfortunately, and it does take a toll on your soul, if you have one to begin with.

Watching the ceiling all night and being unable to eat for weeks after being played yet again also make you feel like a soulless psychopath...

In the current dating environment I rather try your soulless approach for now!

 

[BadWatermelon]

Read this

I've noticed that women post-epiphany phase will start asking you about marriage plans and kids right away, sometimes before even the first date.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Women that like you will almost always ask for exclusivity. That is their job. To think otherwise is abnormal.

The best thing you can do is stall for time. Create a list of demands for your commitment. Or just tell her straight up you are not monogamous and will continue to fvck other girls. A lot of girls will walk but a few of them will come back if you successfully imprinted on them (“alpha widowed”)

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Depends how outcome independent one is and if one has options. Of course we all should be but we’re all in different stages.

 

[Namebejed7]

Are you acting in a way that implies LTR? Are you talking about the future and serious stuff or are you primarily in the moment?

 

[Gamisch]

Are you acting in a way that implies LTR? Are you talking about the future and serious stuff or are you primarily in the moment?

I do tend to be more on the serious side of things. I have a 10 y.o daughter (I am 38) after that had 2 LTR's ( 5 year and 3 years), some sloots in between ,but even then I had them crying I was abusing them for sex only after just a couple of months.

How do you even accomplish that , keeping it in the moment? No I dont use the words LTR and future ,but I do sleep over quickly . Mostly they cling on to me fast, feels like they only sleep with me if I give them " serious devotion ".

My main weapons seems to be making women feel comfortable around me , I am nice friendly talkative guy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

How do you even accomplish that , keeping it in the moment? No I dont use the words LTR and future ,but I do sleep over quickly . Mostly they cling on to me fast, feels like they only sleep with me if I give them " serious devotion ".

Can’t accomplish it, OP. It is how women are wired. Consistent sex with a guy = boyfriend. Chicks that can bang a guy for months and not want to be in a relationship with him are broken. They are the exception not the rule.

 

[SW15]

Back on the market, putting it in work and having some succes . Both on and off line ,but it's already "getting outta hand". I meet woman, and somehow they immediately want to push for serious relationships. Good ,nice ,kind women I would say ,LTR worthy.

.I am 38 and meet women around 30 mostly .I am far from rich( hyper ambitious , but still shaping my business ideas). Maybe I should add that after my mid twenties I went from one to the next LTR . So I am kinda experienced in picking up and dealing with women, but spinning plates is a new sport to me it seems.

How to deal with these situations? It seems these women smell it on me that I am a LTR type of guy. I rather spin plates and stay " single" but 2 months in and I already see some heartbreaks and pissed off women at the end of the tunnel.

If they are LTR worthy and they want an LTR with you, then having an LTR with one is a decent idea. It's up to you to deem one worthy of an LTR.

The famous saying goes that "Women are the gatekeepers to sex, men are the gatekeepers to extended relationships."

A 30 year old is an impressive catch for a 38 year old man.

Women that like you will almost always ask for exclusivity. That is their job. To think otherwise is abnormal.

The best thing you can do is stall for time. Create a list of demands for your commitment. Or just tell her straight up you are not monogamous and will continue to fvck other girls. A lot of girls will walk but a few of them will come back if you successfully imprinted on them (“alpha widowed”)

This is all accurate.

 

[Juanto]

most of us are simultaneously monogamous with the majority of our higher quality plates.

I am kind of in this situation as well. On one hand I dont feel bad about it as I treat them all well, but on the other I feel a bit bad (but generally speaking I am happy with this arrangement for myself). Can anyone else relate to this? Am I a scumbag?

 

[Veréngárda]

Look at them when they want exclusively and say "no."

Easy peasy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Look at them when they want exclusively and say "no."

Easy peasy.

Just be prepared to have most of them walk.

 

[indiff]

Women that like you will almost always ask for exclusivity. That is their job. To think otherwise is abnormal.

The best thing you can do is stall for time. Create a list of demands for your commitment. Or just tell her straight up you are not monogamous and will continue to fvck other girls. A lot of girls will walk but a few of them will come back if you successfully imprinted on them (“alpha widowed”)

What do you think of FreshNFit? One of their 'demands' is for the your girl to get off social media, cut contact with their ex, no male friends..etc

I'm torn between communicating those demands overtly on one hand, and on the other, I'm wondering whether I should just observe how they act in the relationship, i.e the medium is the message, wherein i should not have to communicate those demands and the fact that they still have not cut off contact with their ex(for e.g) shows that I am not their top guy(no genuine desire).

 

[zinc4]

Still new member . Just posted how I went blue pill on my toxic ex and learned the hard way.

Back on the market, putting it in work and having some succes . Both on and off line ,but it's already "getting outta hand". I meet woman, and somehow they immediately want to push for serious relationships. Good ,nice ,kind women I would say ,LTR worthy.

.I am 38 and meet women around 30 mostly .I am far from rich( hyper ambitious , but still shaping my business ideas). Maybe I should add that after my mid twenties I went from one to the next LTR . So I am kinda experienced in picking up and dealing with women, but spinning plates is a new sport to me it seems.

How to deal with these situations? It seems these women smell it on me that I am a LTR type of guy. I rather spin plates and stay " single" but 2 months in and I already see some heartbreaks and pissed off women at the end of the tunnel.

High quality and confident women will demand it.

 

[EyeBRollin]

What do you think of FreshNFit? One of their 'demands' is for the your girl to get off social media, cut contact with their ex, no male friends..etc

I'm torn between communicating those demands overtly on one hand, and on the other, I'm wondering whether I should just observe how they act in the relationship, i.e the medium is the message, wherein i should not have to communicate those demands and the fact that they still have not cut off contact with their ex(for e.g) shows that I am not their top guy(no genuine desire).

Fresh & Fit demands are reasonable. Though I would be open to social media if I am able to manage her account. My girl is not active on social media, so I didn’t have to deal with that.

The idea is you need to set the ground rules for your commitment. No attention from other men. If she won’t abide by those rules, she gets no commitment. She stays in the fvck buddy classification.

 

[Veréngárda]

Just be prepared to have most of them walk.

This is true.

 

[BadWatermelon]

What do you think of FreshNFit? One of their 'demands' is for the your girl to get off social media, cut contact with their ex, no male friends..etc

I'm torn between communicating those demands overtly on one hand, and on the other, I'm wondering whether I should just observe how they act in the relationship, i.e the medium is the message, wherein i should not have to communicate those demands and the fact that they still have not cut off contact with their ex(for e.g) shows that I am not their top guy(no genuine desire).

I'd be fine with them keeping social media, as long as they don't "have a for sale sign" (e.g. sexy pictures). Several of my friends' wives use it to share pictures of their kids and vacations.

In nearly every case I've seen taken women suddenly start posting pictures of themselves alone on social media, it's been right before a breakup/divorce.