Walked out on my date, did I over react or stood up for myself…

[tightgrp]

Simply put a woman who opens her legs for you right away is likely to do that with any other dude whos attractive.. those girls are often low quality or just looking to have fun. If youre a dude who wants more than jus casual fun and something meaningful, you probably dont want a skank or a girl whos sexually promiscuous.

Ofc theres other variables but from my experience an attractive girl that doesnt put out right away is usually one with healthy boundries and good qualities for the long run.

This topic isnt very relative to being any example of a good woman though. Quite the opposite. Just more or less what its like to be in the friendzone and not realize it.

Well said. IMHO a good woman determination is based on more than sex. In fact, I would rate desire and loyalty more important than sex.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Well it’s a good thing I’m not banging her or you then, right?

A man leads, and sets boundaries. The meek shall inherit nothing. You do you bubba.


"Loyalty is the consequence of leadership. And leadership is a touchstone of competence."

Lets just all become Amish and go to extremes. Whats the saying?
"Men without frame and the things they say" and do.
Manhammer is batting 1000 huh?

Funny just saw this chic's tweet and this thread is going. And she is correct.

"Guys acting pissy is the biggest turn off. If it's early on you might never come back from it

It shows you take things too seriously and can't control your frustration without embarrassing yourself"

End quote

 

[ThisIsSparta]

@OP

Stop wasting time on women - YouTube

 

[CornbreadFed]

@OP

Stop wasting time on women - YouTube

That guy is a jewel

 

[devilkingx2]

So I’ve been dating this girl that I met last month and we have been vibing. We have a lot in common, conversations flow, and we honestly have fun being together. We’ve been on about 4 dates together and on the last date we had, I walked out on her.

On our second date she invited me to go out with her and her sister for some drinks and on the third date we went to a little beach yoga class and then grabbed dinner afterwards. While at dinner, we were vibing had 2-3 drinks each, takin pictures and were even the last people to leave the restaurant. At the end of the dinner, I did not sense that the green light to kiss her was full on but I still took my shot to show my intent. She was walking in front of me and I pulled her shirt and hugged her tight. She gave me a surprised look so I just kissed her in the cheek and told her that I wanted to kiss her but I wasn’t going to do it just yet.

The following week she invited me to go out to salsa club event. She said the venue was having a 1 year anniversary and if I were down to go. I said sure, so I picked her and we rode out that night. When we got there, she said hi to her friend and her friend’s bf who she knew were going to be at the venue. After saying hi to them, she goes off to another table to say hi to some dude and his group. She stayed over at that table for about 5 minutes chatting with him and his friends while I stayed with her friend and the bf.

The night rolled on and we danced, took pics, had some drinks etc. but I notice that the guy she said hi to would come around our table and chat her up every once in a while and basically trying to run game on my chick.

Then on one occasion, he’s there joking with her and laughing, hugs her from the side and then tells her something about “let’s go to that side of the club and watch the live band” she laughs, hesitates for a bit and then goes with him.

At this Point I say fvck this, I call the waiter and pay for my drinks. I come back to the table and start chatting with the friend’s bf for a bit, contemplating whether I should leave or not. She comes back to the table within 10 minutes or so. She asks me to dance again so I did. But at this point, I’m not having fun anymore and she can tell.

I tell her “let’s leave in 30 because I have to wake up early tomorrow. She said she wants to stay and watch the next band that’s going to perform but she can leave in an Uber. So I said “cool, well I’m gonna go”. I say bye to her and her friends and I was on my way. She didn’t stop me from leaving or anything. Simply let me leave. haven’t spoken to her since.

Did I over react ? Even though our relationship wasn’t anything established or anything due to the fact that we haven’t kissed but at the same time, she did arrive to the place with me.

I feel it would’ve been a slap to my face if I stuck around and then taken her home after walking off with that guy. Thoughts ?

My advice to you OP is that if she's not showing any sexual interest by the time the first date ends you have to ramp up the flirting to 100.

And if you haven't even gotten a kiss by the second date you should be prepared to ghost her unless she's begging you to continue hanging out.

Minimize your financial and time investment if you're not getting action. Don't spend a lot of money on a girl who won't even make out with you or touch your penis.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Don't spend a lot of money on a girl who won't even make out with you or touch your penis.

I don't think this girl wants to acknowledge the OP has one

Dudes, never assume a girl who is interested in dating you is also sexually interested in you. That being said, always *act* like it and make sure she knows you're making the assumption.

 

[espanish]

good job on walking away. girl had no respect for you. however, took you too long to realize this.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

I gotta give you some tough love, playa.

No, you didn't overact, but you weren't active in the right kind of way.

And that is a common theme with most guys, they are wayyy to reactive, instead of being proactive.

So I’ve been dating this girl that I met last month and we have been vibing. We have a lot in common, conversations flow, and we honestly have fun being together. We’ve been on about 4 dates together and on the last date we had, I walked out on her.

Too much non sexual attention with no ROI (return on investment).

You should have made a move for sex after the first date (or if you are me, BEFORE the first date).

And if she displayed low or zero signs of reciprocation, then there wouldn't have been a second, third, or fourth date.

On our second date she invited me to go out with her and her sister for some drinks and on the third date we went to a little beach yoga class and then grabbed dinner afterwards. While at dinner, we were vibing had 2-3 drinks each, takin pictures and were even the last people to leave the restaurant.

Which meant absolutely nothing.

Because let me guess; you picked up the tab, correct?

And even if you didn't, that was still a lot of non-sexual time wasted.

So even if you didn't lose money, you lost time.

At the end of the dinner, I did not sense that the green light to kiss her was full on but I still took my shot to show my intent. She was walking in front of me and I pulled her shirt and hugged her tight. She gave me a surprised look so I just kissed her in the cheek and told her that I wanted to kiss her but I wasn’t going to do it just yet.

I commend you for going for the kiss.

The problem is, you waited too late to go for it.

She gave you a surprised look after you went in for the kiss...and this is on the second date.

So, assuming she would have reacted the same way towards your actions had you went in for a kiss after the first date, you would have been better off going for the kiss on the first date...which would be a red flag for you not to waste time on a second date if you can't even get a kiss after the first.

The following week she invited me to go out to salsa club event. She said the venue was having a 1 year anniversary and if I were down to go. I said sure, so I picked her and we rode out that night. When we got there, she said hi to her friend and her friend’s bf who she knew were going to be at the venue. After saying hi to them, she goes off to another table to say hi to some dude and his group. She stayed over at that table for about 5 minutes chatting with him and his friends while I stayed with her friend and the bf.

The night rolled on and we danced, took pics, had some drinks etc. but I notice that the guy she said hi to would come around our table and chat her up every once in a while and basically trying to run game on my chick.

Then on one occasion, he’s there joking with her and laughing, hugs her from the side and then tells her something about “let’s go to that side of the club and watch the live band” she laughs, hesitates for a bit and then goes with him.

At this Point I say fvck this, I call the waiter and pay for my drinks. I come back to the table and start chatting with the friend’s bf for a bit, contemplating whether I should leave or not. She comes back to the table within 10 minutes or so. She asks me to dance again so I did. But at this point, I’m not having fun anymore and she can tell.

I tell her “let’s leave in 30 because I have to wake up early tomorrow. She said she wants to stay and watch the next band that’s going to perform but she can leave in an Uber. So I said “cool, well I’m gonna go”. I say bye to her and her friends and I was on my way. She didn’t stop me from leaving or anything. Simply let me leave. haven’t spoken to her since.

Did I over react ? Even though our relationship wasn’t anything established or anything due to the fact that we haven’t kissed but at the same time, she did arrive to the place with me.

I feel it would’ve been a slap to my face if I stuck around and then taken her home after walking off with that guy. Thoughts ?

Sorry you had to go through that, man.

That is why I will continue to advocate Mode One philosophy, which either eliminates bullsh!t like that, or cuts through it.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

.

I gotta give you some tough love, playa.

No, you didn't overact, but you weren't active in the right kind of way.

And that is a common theme with most guys, they are wayyy to reactive, instead of being proactive.



Too much non sexual attention with no ROI (return on investment).

You should have made a move for sex after the first date (or if you are me, BEFORE the first date).

And if she displayed low or zero signs of reciprocation, then there wouldn't have been a second, third, or fourth date.



Which meant absolutely nothing.

Because let me guess; you picked up the tab, correct?

And even if you didn't, that was still a lot of non-sexual time wasted.

So even if you didn't lose money, you lost time.



I commend you for going for the kiss.

The problem is, you waited too late to go for it.

She gave you a surprised look after you went in for the kiss...and this is on the second date.

So, assuming she would have reacted the same way towards your actions had you went in for a kiss after the first date, you would have been better off going for the kiss on the first date...which would be a red flag for you not to waste time on a second date if you can't even get a kiss after the first.



Sorry you had to go through that, man.

That is why I will continue to advocate Mode One philosophy, which either eliminates bullsh!t like that, or cuts through it.

There needs to be a balance between the amount of time thinking/vibing about sex and the time not thinking/vibing about sex when a player and a plate are interacting. This is fundamental imo.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

There needs to be a balance between the amount of time thinking/vibing about sex and the time not thinking/vibing about sex when a player and a plate are interacting. This is fundamental imo.

I agree.

It is fundamental.

However, I am reminded of a Step by Step episode, where Al (the tomboy) needed help with her homework...while Dana (the booksmart girl) needed help with a woodshop project.

The conversation went something like this...

Al: I have all this math homework, and I just don't understand it.

Dana: I am good at math, but I can't help you, because I have this woodshop project I am working on.

Al: Oh, I am good at woodshop, and I love it.

Then they both gave each other a sinister smile.

In other words, you scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.

So, I said that to say this...

Me: I want your sexual attention.

Her: I want your non sexual attention.

She scratches my back, and I will scratch hers.