Walked out on my date, did I over react or stood up for myself…

Lover_boy

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So I’ve been dating this girl that I met last month and we have been vibing. We have a lot in common, conversations flow, and we honestly have fun being together. We’ve been on about 4 dates together and on the last date we had, I walked out on her.

On our second date she invited me to go out with her and her sister for some drinks and on the third date we went to a little beach yoga class and then grabbed dinner afterwards. While at dinner, we were vibing had 2-3 drinks each, takin pictures and were even the last people to leave the restaurant. At the end of the dinner, I did not sense that the green light to kiss her was full on but I still took my shot to show my intent. She was walking in front of me and I pulled her shirt and hugged her tight. She gave me a surprised look so I just kissed her in the cheek and told her that I wanted to kiss her but I wasn’t going to do it just yet.

The following week she invited me to go out to salsa club event. She said the venue was having a 1 year anniversary and if I were down to go. I said sure, so I picked her and we rode out that night. When we got there, she said hi to her friend and her friend’s bf who she knew were going to be at the venue. After saying hi to them, she goes off to another table to say hi to some dude and his group. She stayed over at that table for about 5 minutes chatting with him and his friends while I stayed with her friend and the bf.

The night rolled on and we danced, took pics, had some drinks etc. but I notice that the guy she said hi to would come around our table and chat her up every once in a while and basically trying to run game on my chick.

Then on one occasion, he’s there joking with her and laughing, hugs her from the side and then tells her something about “let’s go to that side of the club and watch the live band” she laughs, hesitates for a bit and then goes with him.

At this Point I say fvck this, I call the waiter and pay for my drinks. I come back to the table and start chatting with the friend’s bf for a bit, contemplating whether I should leave or not. She comes back to the table within 10 minutes or so. She asks me to dance again so I did. But at this point, I’m not having fun anymore and she can tell.

I tell her “let’s leave in 30 because I have to wake up early tomorrow. She said she wants to stay and watch the next band that’s going to perform but she can leave in an Uber. So I said “cool, well I’m gonna go”. I say bye to her and her friends and I was on my way. She didn’t stop me from leaving or anything. Simply let me leave. haven’t spoken to her since.

Did I over react ? Even though our relationship wasn’t anything established or anything due to the fact that we haven’t kissed but at the same time, she did arrive to the place with me.

I feel it would’ve been a slap to my face if I stuck around and then taken her home after walking off with that guy. Thoughts ?
 

Stanley

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How long has it been since you last saw/spoke with her? Regardless silence and distance is your friend.

Edit: After looking at past threads you should've moved on by now.
 
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Pierce Manhammer

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I think you were more than justified, I however would’ve gotten up and left the moment she went off with the guy, not saying a word. Just ghost. What she did was fuxked she shat on you. Forget her.
 

RazorRambo24

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Sorry to hear that happened to you. You 100% did not overreact. But I think you also are a bit naive to not realize that this girl just sees you primarily as a friend. ITs been months of you guys hanging out and you haven't really took it to even 1st base barely.. The bases thing existed for a long time man and it has always been a good measure of where you are at with a woman.

These days women are much different its like if you dont go to home base with them early on, most people would say you have nothing going on lol. GOod women will make you work for it.. But apparently this woman just kinda lead you on.

No matter what, I only see wrong on her part.. If she doesn't see wrong in what she did, that's quite unfortunate. The best thing you can do as a man is separate yourself from her with dignity and self respect.. She made it clear she's not that interested in you. Its just sad she strung you along for this long.
 

BillyPilgrim

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So I’ve been dating this girl that I met last month and we have been vibing. We have a lot in common, conversations flow, and we honestly have fun being together. We’ve been on about 4 dates together and on the last date we had, I walked out on her.

On our second date she invited me to go out with her and her sister for some drinks and on the third date we went to a little beach yoga class and then grabbed dinner afterwards. While at dinner, we were vibing had 2-3 drinks each, takin pictures and were even the last people to leave the restaurant. At the end of the dinner, I did not sense that the green light to kiss her was full on but I still took my shot to show my intent. She was walking in front of me and I pulled her shirt and hugged her tight. She gave me a surprised look
Stopped reading at "she gave me a surprised look"
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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After saying hi to them, she goes off to another table to say hi to some dude and his group. She stayed over at that table for about 5 minutes chatting with him and his friends while I stayed with her friend and the bf”

I would have booked it right here ^

No you didn’t overreact if anything you took to long to shake the spot after your chick got robbed.

No further engagement from your part was required to make a clean swift exit after she ditched you to go do her bidding in the dark with dude.

The most notorious bank robberies in history have been executed with military precision in way less time than that my boy

5 minutes your girl flirting with another guy in your presence is a gang of disrespectful time.
I wouldn’t even tolerate small talk before that happens I swig my drink and peel out

your coup de grâce was when you told her you had to leave in 30 and she didn’t even care.
She let you walk out empty handed.
A girl with sky level interest and moist panties dripped in puzzy juices for you would have been “ok lets go”

After 4 dates this b1tch should have had a bit more decency and respect for you by not leaving you to hang dry in the open like if your presence’s worth is next to dogshxt.

These are the low class types that deserve to be dropped viciously

At the end of it all, you didn’t break stride and dropped her like a bad habit on sight.
 
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tightgrp

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Sorry to hear that happened to you. You 100% did not overreact. But I think you also are a bit naive to not realize that this girl just sees you primarily as a friend. ITs been months of you guys hanging out and you haven't really took it to even 1st base barely.. The bases thing existed for a long time man and it has always been a good measure of where you are at with a woman.

These days women are much different its like if you dont go to home base with them early on, most people would say you have nothing going on lol. GOod women will make you work for it.. But apparently this woman just kinda lead you on.

No matter what, I only see wrong on her part.. If she doesn't see wrong in what she did, that's quite unfortunate. The best thing you can do as a man is separate yourself from her with dignity and self respect.. She made it clear she's not that interested in you. Its just sad she strung you along for this long.
What's good about a woman making you work for it?
 

Gamisch

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Imo you have a wrong idea of what dating really is. Hanging out does NOT mean dating.

Yes ,women can be confusing . She might send you good night texts ect. But the actual get together should tell you everything you need to know.

I do have to say, after she told you about her feeling towards you , it's completely on you whether you keep trying to make it work or not. Her behaviour was "normal"; she is NOT your gf , just a friend . You dont own her and she's not your property (yet).

You can keep hanging around with her, because at least you'll be socially active. Perhaps you'll meet another one via her. If you do you just gotta be aware that she is a friend and you should chase other girls now
 

Lover_boy

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How long has it been since you last saw/spoke with her? Regardless silence and distance is your friend.

Edit: After looking at past threads you should've moved on by now.
Haven’t spoken to her in a week. And this is a complete different chick from past threads
 

CornbreadFed

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At the end of the dinner, I did not sense that the green light to kiss her was full on but I still took my shot to show my intent. She was walking in front of me and I pulled her shirt and hugged her tight. She gave me a surprised look so I just kissed her in the cheek and told her that I wanted to kiss her but I wasn’t going to do it just yet.
This is creepy and you lost all of your credibility at this point. You sure she didn’t see you as a friend?


Did I over react ? Even though our relationship wasn’t anything established or anything due to the fact that we haven’t kissed but at the same time, she did arrive to the place with me.
If you have been on 4 dates and seen a girl for a month without even kissing then she clearly sees you as a friend or her interest is too low. Drop this girl and move on. I’ll bet money she won’t contact you again either!

oh I just read your post above me :rofl:
 

SmoothHendrixPS2

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Once again the nice guy loses. I recommend not going on more than one date without sex. Don't hesitate to be sexual. She's not your girl. You were her play brother. She manipulated food, drinks, attention, and non sexual companionship from you. After the third date she was convinced you'd never turn her on, and I don't blame her. Gave her all the power.
 

Barrister

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OP,

Until you have slept with a woman - as in - had sex with her, you are nothing to her at all. Kissing means jack sh1t. You were 4 dates in and had not really done much of anything let alone slept with her. You were heading straight into orbiter status for her and that is exactly how that last "date" at the salsa night came off across. The little harmless buddy.

You were correct to leave when you did. But keep in mind you MUST be escalating towards sex at all times with women who you will be placed into the friendzone very quickly.
 

ThisIsSparta

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So I’ve been dating this girl that I met last month and we have been vibing. We have a lot in common, conversations flow, and we honestly have fun being together. We’ve been on about 4 dates together and on the last date we had, I walked out on her.

On our second date she invited me to go out with her and her sister for some drinks and on the third date we went to a little beach yoga class and then grabbed dinner afterwards. While at dinner, we were vibing had 2-3 drinks each, takin pictures and were even the last people to leave the restaurant. At the end of the dinner, I did not sense that the green light to kiss her was full on but I still took my shot to show my intent. She was walking in front of me and I pulled her shirt and hugged her tight. She gave me a surprised look so I just kissed her in the cheek and told her that I wanted to kiss her but I wasn’t going to do it just yet.

The following week she invited me to go out to salsa club event. She said the venue was having a 1 year anniversary and if I were down to go. I said sure, so I picked her and we rode out that night. When we got there, she said hi to her friend and her friend’s bf who she knew were going to be at the venue. After saying hi to them, she goes off to another table to say hi to some dude and his group. She stayed over at that table for about 5 minutes chatting with him and his friends while I stayed with her friend and the bf.

The night rolled on and we danced, took pics, had some drinks etc. but I notice that the guy she said hi to would come around our table and chat her up every once in a while and basically trying to run game on my chick.

Then on one occasion, he’s there joking with her and laughing, hugs her from the side and then tells her something about “let’s go to that side of the club and watch the live band” she laughs, hesitates for a bit and then goes with him.

At this Point I say fvck this, I call the waiter and pay for my drinks. I come back to the table and start chatting with the friend’s bf for a bit, contemplating whether I should leave or not. She comes back to the table within 10 minutes or so. She asks me to dance again so I did. But at this point, I’m not having fun anymore and she can tell.

I tell her “let’s leave in 30 because I have to wake up early tomorrow. She said she wants to stay and watch the next band that’s going to perform but she can leave in an Uber. So I said “cool, well I’m gonna go”. I say bye to her and her friends and I was on my way. She didn’t stop me from leaving or anything. Simply let me leave. haven’t spoken to her since.

Did I over react ? Even though our relationship wasn’t anything established or anything due to the fact that we haven’t kissed but at the same time, she did arrive to the place with me.

I feel it would’ve been a slap to my face if I stuck around and then taken her home after walking off with that guy. Thoughts ?
Your mistake was dating her 4 times....... if a woman doesnt kiss on date 2, there is no genuine desire and it is going nowhere->NEXT

If anything you were UNDER-reacting on your last date. You should have been leaving as soon as she walked off with that other guy. No comment, leave and ghost. Instead you found a weak excuse why you would like to leave the place with her in 30 minutes(?)..

Bro you need to play hardball with disrespecting women.
 

Peaks&Valleys

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The most notorious bank robberies in history have been executed with military precision in way less time than that my boy
Freaking phenomenal analogy right there. If I was an English Professor: A+
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Op: for future reference unless you’ve had your peepee in her hoohaa you aren’t anything but another guy, and even after you’ve have you still may be nothing.

She used you, let this be a lesson. It has happened to legions of men. Take the loss and move on. 90% of my notches came from FNL’s a few took 2-3 days after 3? Turn it down and pull away, if she comes after you then make sure the next meeting has the logistics in place for sechs and push for it - don’t be rapey - if she doesn’t acquiesce walk, just summarily end the meeting and bail. None of that “let’s sleep in the same bed but not have sex” bs.
 

Macadellic

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As soon as she walked to group of guys to chat I would have decided then and there she is a low value disrespectful woman. If I wanted to I could have just spread by social net to expand and meet others and give off the we are just friends vibe.

You can do this if you do not have many friends to begin with because like another poster said you can meet other girls through her. You can also meet other gals at the venue.

Now if you are going to leave it needed to be done when the other guy stole “your girl” right in front of you.

But like others said she is not your girl.
And four dates in with not even a kiss?
lol I wouldn’t have let myself reach that point.
 

RazorRambo24

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What's good about a woman making you work for it?
Simply put a woman who opens her legs for you right away is likely to do that with any other dude whos attractive.. those girls are often low quality or just looking to have fun. If youre a dude who wants more than jus casual fun and something meaningful, you probably dont want a skank or a girl whos sexually promiscuous.

Ofc theres other variables but from my experience an attractive girl that doesnt put out right away is usually one with healthy boundries and good qualities for the long run.

This topic isnt very relative to being any example of a good woman though. Quite the opposite. Just more or less what its like to be in the friendzone and not realize it.
 
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