So I came back and read the rest of the thread.
There is nothing to be gained or anything new to be learnt with any interaction with this woman. Let it go if you can but be polite and respectful (its a trait all too lacking these days). It does sound like you still have an attachment to this woman so be careful with anything you do or say.
You still need to kill that inner Beta that wants the "perfect marriage" and settle down and have kids etc. This ideology is easier said than done and most men struggle to get a hold over it. By no means am I saying not to look for a lifelong partner and perhaps love BUT not every single woman that fits the criteria actually fits the criteria, your brain tries to mold the person to fit into whatever fantasy you may be consciously or subconsciously holding onto.
As an example I'm nearly 38 now and been spinning plates for a good part of 12 years now. Many plates fall and break and never return and others stop spinning and fade away only to return a few months or years later. They all know how I am and that I don't want to settle down and have kids (just yet) as I still have some life goals to achieve. I was a competitive kickboxer in my youth and avid sailor to the point where I could have gone Olympics and perhaps (if drugs didn't get in the way) onto an America's Cup team, so I'm hoping that maybe before I'm 45 I can still achieve something in that realm.
The above example is what Men in general should be aiming at becoming (I'm not perfect nor have I fixed all my flaws) but having a mindset like this should help to alleviate a lot of issues we men have when dealing with women. Once you have a few huge life goals aside from marriage and kids then suddenly everything starts to make sense and fall into place. It's not perfect and there is always more to learn but your focus becomes laser sharp and nothing fazes you.
It all comes back to Pook and Rollo, fix your own life and embrace it as best you can and everything else falls into place and you stop worrying or carrying about the rubbish.
While I'm by no means the world's greatest plate spinner - I've had my fun with that at various times in my life. Presently, I dunno I'm just kind of tired of it and it's not fulfilling for me. Not necessarily saying I "need" to get married, but I'd like something a little higher up on the meaningful scale right now.
As far as when she's reached out (because remember I don't reach out to her) I've always been cordial and light-hearted. I don't bring up or discuss anything related to our time together and that's not going to change from my end. She kinda brushed the surface of it one time when she first broke the long NC we had going - but I sidestepped it. If she wants to have an adult conversation to retrace the steps I might consider it, but odds are extremely low to non-existent at this point.
I don't feel I'm attached in a sense I'm completely romanticizing this girl. I used to read a lot of stories from significant others of people with BP to keep my mind in check. She was not managing her condition maturely (might still not be either) and it's one that can never be cured. It was unleashed on me once, so not sure I could put myself thru that again. But It's like I was saying, she let me in on her trauma that one night - that stays with a person especially when you get run right the hell off afterwards. Call it compassion or whatever, I dunno.
