Well, it seems like you're coming off as too much of a try-hard, and not real enough. And there's no game or charm to get things on a sexual level. So, nobody is taking you seriously, looking at you as a sexual being, or someone they want to be with, and they're just viewing you as an arrogant jokester. Thats what I see happening, anyway... Right from the very beginning - up until the end (which isnt a very long time between the two).
Everything seems like its based on forced wit and humor, and you're over-doing the "prize" concept - to where you seem completely full of yourself. You're not presenting any kind of a challenge, or getting people to chase - nor are you intriguing them enough to do so. They're not wondering about your value, because you just boast and brag.
Dry, sarcastic, witty humor in appropriate situations is good - if used effectively - but it cant be your entire personality, all the time. Using them in a commenting sort of way works best, but it should be natural. You know, the C&F personality that some of us have imbedded in us, as part of our genuine nature. Nothing should be forced or over-done - nor do you want to make a joke out of everything.
This is all too extreme, and nobody is interested in getting to know you better - because of these shallow, pointless, unsexual conversations. The sex talk that IS occuring isnt how you want it to be. They're not getting turned on or excited - just laughing like its a joke.
There needs to be more of a balance, and more substance... There's a time to be funny, and a time to be serious... There also needs to be more sexual excitement and chemistry. You're just making a joke out of everything, and they're laughing. But there's no witty intelligence or substance behind these jokes. There's also no charm or genuine sexual escalation. Being charming is a lot different than joking. They're both kind of fake, but one is "haha" funny, and the other turns them on, and gets them in a sexual mood. At the same time, if you provide a challenge, maintain some mystery, and get them to chase - their interest will skyrocket. You want all of these things - in one package.
The process / game also needs to be switched up a bit, which ties into this. You want to start off as charming, interesting, exciting, AND genuine - to get them intrigued, and wanting to get to know you better, but in a romantic way. Balance it out, so that you're not TOO friendly or nice, not a shallow jokester who isnt taken seriously, or a crazy perverted sex fiend who just wants to ****.
You want to, for example, listen and respond - as a normal social skill. Not just make a joke out of everything they say. But then, to keep things interesting, you also want to joke around from time to time. Even in the same conversation, as it works best and flows naturally. You know, back and forth - and also throw some charm and sexual interest in there, as well. But it should be natural.
Just like with anybody else... You NEED to have depth and substance, decent conversational skills, and a solid personality to attract ANYONE. You're going to be serious AND funny / light-hearted with most people. People want to be heard, felt important, understood, cared about, etc, but also they want to have laughs, be teased, and those things. Jumping from different topics, but remaining interesting throughout.
There's nothing wrong with sarcastic, dry, witty humor - ****, I use it all the time, and is a large part of who I am - but you need depth and substance, as well. Someone people can talk to on a genuine level, have serious conversations with, share their personal details to, and so forth. You dont want to be one-sided, or categorized as such. Humor and depth, intelligence and charm... Just an all-around cool guy. But with the women, an exciting, sexual guy on top of that.
You seem pretty confident and are good looking, and I dont think race an issue. You just need to work on your social intelligence and banter.
But honestly, a lot of this usually has to do with insecurity and fear of rejection / acceptance. Just like the jerk who uses nothing but insults, sarcasm, and bullyish behavior to hide his insecurities, not let anyone get too close, or have the upper-hand on him. He's always superior, never vulnerable, never trusting... But he's always alone and disliked by everyone.
Working on the jerk part myself, currently.
Everything seems like its based on forced wit and humor, and you're over-doing the "prize" concept - to where you seem completely full of yourself. You're not presenting any kind of a challenge, or getting people to chase - nor are you intriguing them enough to do so. They're not wondering about your value, because you just boast and brag.
Dry, sarcastic, witty humor in appropriate situations is good - if used effectively - but it cant be your entire personality, all the time. Using them in a commenting sort of way works best, but it should be natural. You know, the C&F personality that some of us have imbedded in us, as part of our genuine nature. Nothing should be forced or over-done - nor do you want to make a joke out of everything.
This is all too extreme, and nobody is interested in getting to know you better - because of these shallow, pointless, unsexual conversations. The sex talk that IS occuring isnt how you want it to be. They're not getting turned on or excited - just laughing like its a joke.
There needs to be more of a balance, and more substance... There's a time to be funny, and a time to be serious... There also needs to be more sexual excitement and chemistry. You're just making a joke out of everything, and they're laughing. But there's no witty intelligence or substance behind these jokes. There's also no charm or genuine sexual escalation. Being charming is a lot different than joking. They're both kind of fake, but one is "haha" funny, and the other turns them on, and gets them in a sexual mood. At the same time, if you provide a challenge, maintain some mystery, and get them to chase - their interest will skyrocket. You want all of these things - in one package.
The process / game also needs to be switched up a bit, which ties into this. You want to start off as charming, interesting, exciting, AND genuine - to get them intrigued, and wanting to get to know you better, but in a romantic way. Balance it out, so that you're not TOO friendly or nice, not a shallow jokester who isnt taken seriously, or a crazy perverted sex fiend who just wants to ****.
You want to, for example, listen and respond - as a normal social skill. Not just make a joke out of everything they say. But then, to keep things interesting, you also want to joke around from time to time. Even in the same conversation, as it works best and flows naturally. You know, back and forth - and also throw some charm and sexual interest in there, as well. But it should be natural.
Just like with anybody else... You NEED to have depth and substance, decent conversational skills, and a solid personality to attract ANYONE. You're going to be serious AND funny / light-hearted with most people. People want to be heard, felt important, understood, cared about, etc, but also they want to have laughs, be teased, and those things. Jumping from different topics, but remaining interesting throughout.
There's nothing wrong with sarcastic, dry, witty humor - ****, I use it all the time, and is a large part of who I am - but you need depth and substance, as well. Someone people can talk to on a genuine level, have serious conversations with, share their personal details to, and so forth. You dont want to be one-sided, or categorized as such. Humor and depth, intelligence and charm... Just an all-around cool guy. But with the women, an exciting, sexual guy on top of that.
You seem pretty confident and are good looking, and I dont think race an issue. You just need to work on your social intelligence and banter.
But honestly, a lot of this usually has to do with insecurity and fear of rejection / acceptance. Just like the jerk who uses nothing but insults, sarcasm, and bullyish behavior to hide his insecurities, not let anyone get too close, or have the upper-hand on him. He's always superior, never vulnerable, never trusting... But he's always alone and disliked by everyone.
Working on the jerk part myself, currently.