wannabesuave
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2008
- Messages
- 22
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I started a new job about 9 months ago. I soon became infatuated with this girl (I'll call her Jessica), who I later came to realize was in fact the hot babe in the office. The first couple of times I found myself near her I was like "Well Hi - how are YOU?" - so obviously projecting interest that she was taken aback both times, giving me a bit of an odd expression and replying "I'm fine, how are you?".
I realized I was making a mistake, so I backed off big-time. I noticed that lots of guys in the office would come over to her desk and talk to her and make her laugh, and I didn't want to be another one of her "friends". No - I wanted much more - I was head-over-heels in love with this girl. So I decided to avoid her - not talk to her, approach her or even look at her. I would remain distant and mysterious and not peg myself as a "friend". I didn't want anyone else in the office to see my obvious interest in her again - I wanted to hide it. Two other reasons were that I suspected that she might have a boyfriend, and I didn't know what company policy was on employees dating, so I figured I'll conceal my interest in her, the better to possibly develop a secret 'out-of-office' relationship with her.
I basically avoided her for 6 months. During this time, she made a point of catching my eye a few times as we were passing each other in the aisle. Each time, she would stare right into my eyes with the most seductive smile, and not look away. Frankly, it was a bit embarrassing - I would always return her smile, trying to show her I was confident and liked her, but then quickly look away so others wouldn't see us looking at each other that way.
One day, she sent an email to everyone in the office "So-and-so (co-worker)just had her baby, and mother and child are both fine!" or something like that. So I replied to her "I think it's about time to give that baby a shower!". She replied with "Hee hee - you're funny!". Damn was I happy! That gave me courage.
Sometime later, I sent her another e-mail "Do you like chicha morada? I tried some last night, and it was quite delicious!" (It's a Peruvian soft-drink, and this girl is of Peruvian heritage). She replied "Yes! It's very good! Where did you find it?" Now, I didn't want to just tell her the name of the restaurant, so she could go there with someone else. I wanted to be the one to take her there! So I replied "That's a secret! " I thought she would reply with "hey, that's not fair" or SOMETHING, so I could get around to saying "well, I can't TELL you where it is, but I can TAKE you there! " or somthing like that.
Well. No response. Just nothing. So I thought "what the hell... is she mad?"
Soon after, the top boss sent an e-mail to everyone which was unintentionally embarrassing to Jessica. Sometimes when management send out an email to everyone, they ask us to respond if we're interested in doing whatever they're talking about. In this case, he had informed everyone that flu shots would be given in the office on a certain date. Jessica had replied "I'll get one" or something. But the boss sent an e-mail to everyone saying "you don't have to reply - you can accept it without replying". But he forgot to remove her trailing e-mail! So everyone could see that Jessica's email had prompted the boss's email, and his words just sounded a little harsh, and I had to laugh, but I also sympathized with her. So I tried to tease her, to make her feel better about it. I e-mailed her "Yeah Jessica jeez - can't you just accept it without replying? You don't have to reply to me either! "
Again no reply. Shortly afterward I noticed her looking at me from her desk - with a 'worried' or 'concerned' look on her face. I just looked away, trying to adopt an expression of mild disappointment. In fact, I was VERY dissappointed - I felt so misunderstood. "How could she think I'm being mean - I even put smilies at the end of each e-mail to make it very clear I was trying to be funny and playful!"
Well, she stayed angry; she wouldn't even return a hello in the hallway. Her friends behaved the same way - giving me the cold shoulder or angry looks, like I'd done something horrible. I didn't know what to do. Finally, I thought of something. I had to take a chance and find out once and for all - I had to find a way to talk to her so I could say "look, you geek - I was KIDDING! I wasn't making fun of you!"
There was a waitress at the Peruvian restaurant who seemed to like me, but I wasn't attracted to her, even though she was pretty good looking. It occured to me that I could type up a letter to Jessica in the office, and hand it to her quietly like I was just giving her something she had printed from the printer.
Here's what it said: "This can wait til after work if you're busy - I'm writing to ask you a favor. See, there's this girl I like - she's a waitress at my new favorite restaurant. I've only seen her a few times, and only spoke to her last night, when she told me she's going back to Brazil in a week and doesn't know when she's coming back here. I can't ask her out, because the timing is all wrong. But I feel I have to do something to make a big impression on her, or I'll lose my chance with her for good. Here's where you come in I thought that if she saw you having a great time with me over dinner, I would become more attractive in her eyes, and I might be able to keep in touch with her and eventually get together with her. You're the only girl I know of right now who might be able to pull this off. I know it's a lot to ask, but I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could have fun with it. The dinner would be on me, and the food is great, and they have chicha morada. We'd have a lot to talk about - work, of course, plus I'd like to learn a lot more about Peru. Well, just think about it. I'm expecting you to say no, but you could surprise me. Either way, it's no big deal, so don't worry about it." And I left my phone number, but not my name - I'm not sure why. I thought this was a pretty clever letter - my actual intention was to take her out to dinner, have her pretend to be interested in me, which would tend to make her feel actual interest in me, an then she'd notice the waitress also seemed to like me, and I'd have some real validation. And if she actually didn't like me, I could stick to my cover story "Hey, I wasn't asking you out - I just wanted somebody to help me with this other girl".
Well! I handed it to her, saying "this is for you" and she briefly looked up from her work to glance at it and mumble thanks. I went back to my desk and tried to hide my nervousness by looking busy. A few minutes later, I hear "JOHN?" "Yes?" "IS THIS FROM YOU???" (bewildered look on her face as she points to the page I'd just handed her). "Umm...yes?" (looking back at the page, still with bewildered look) "Oh....I didn't know.........thanks" and she stomped off to the lunch room.
****. This wasn't good. The people sitting nearby saw it go down, and Jessica no doubt went right to her friends and showed them the letter. I went out to lunch, and when I came back found her response by email "Thanks for the invite. But I don't think my fiance would be happy about it. Good luck with the girl. "
Well, that sounded acceptable - at least I'd found out, and she seemed to be being cool about it. Great! It was all I could hope for after making her so upset. I quicly replied "I'm so sorry - I didn't know you had a fiance. Thanks for wishing me luck."
But that wouldn't be the end of it. The following day I came in to the office and the atmosphere was charged. Some people were snickering, some were giving me angry looks. I kept my head down and went to my desk. It wasn't long before my manager came over and said "John, why don't you follow me?" into a conference room, where another manager joined us. "Well, we heard that you asked Jessica out..." "Yeah, I did, I must've completely misread her" "Oh, so you're aware that you're making her uncomfortable?" "I am now! I had no idea she had a fiance, and she was giving me some very strong signals of interest, along with some discouraging signals, which I though were based on her misunderstanding some emails I sent her... I feel terrible that I've upset her so much - it was the opposite of my intention!" "Well, you didn't do anything wrong - employees are allowed to date, and it woudn't normally even come to our attention, but someone (not Jessica) was concerned and thought we should know about it - don't apologize to her or anything - you didn't do anything wrong - just give her her space... say 'hi', we want to have a friendly workplace, but just give her her space". "Sure thing!"
(continued below...)
I realized I was making a mistake, so I backed off big-time. I noticed that lots of guys in the office would come over to her desk and talk to her and make her laugh, and I didn't want to be another one of her "friends". No - I wanted much more - I was head-over-heels in love with this girl. So I decided to avoid her - not talk to her, approach her or even look at her. I would remain distant and mysterious and not peg myself as a "friend". I didn't want anyone else in the office to see my obvious interest in her again - I wanted to hide it. Two other reasons were that I suspected that she might have a boyfriend, and I didn't know what company policy was on employees dating, so I figured I'll conceal my interest in her, the better to possibly develop a secret 'out-of-office' relationship with her.
I basically avoided her for 6 months. During this time, she made a point of catching my eye a few times as we were passing each other in the aisle. Each time, she would stare right into my eyes with the most seductive smile, and not look away. Frankly, it was a bit embarrassing - I would always return her smile, trying to show her I was confident and liked her, but then quickly look away so others wouldn't see us looking at each other that way.
One day, she sent an email to everyone in the office "So-and-so (co-worker)just had her baby, and mother and child are both fine!" or something like that. So I replied to her "I think it's about time to give that baby a shower!". She replied with "Hee hee - you're funny!". Damn was I happy! That gave me courage.
Sometime later, I sent her another e-mail "Do you like chicha morada? I tried some last night, and it was quite delicious!" (It's a Peruvian soft-drink, and this girl is of Peruvian heritage). She replied "Yes! It's very good! Where did you find it?" Now, I didn't want to just tell her the name of the restaurant, so she could go there with someone else. I wanted to be the one to take her there! So I replied "That's a secret! " I thought she would reply with "hey, that's not fair" or SOMETHING, so I could get around to saying "well, I can't TELL you where it is, but I can TAKE you there! " or somthing like that.
Well. No response. Just nothing. So I thought "what the hell... is she mad?"
Soon after, the top boss sent an e-mail to everyone which was unintentionally embarrassing to Jessica. Sometimes when management send out an email to everyone, they ask us to respond if we're interested in doing whatever they're talking about. In this case, he had informed everyone that flu shots would be given in the office on a certain date. Jessica had replied "I'll get one" or something. But the boss sent an e-mail to everyone saying "you don't have to reply - you can accept it without replying". But he forgot to remove her trailing e-mail! So everyone could see that Jessica's email had prompted the boss's email, and his words just sounded a little harsh, and I had to laugh, but I also sympathized with her. So I tried to tease her, to make her feel better about it. I e-mailed her "Yeah Jessica jeez - can't you just accept it without replying? You don't have to reply to me either! "
Again no reply. Shortly afterward I noticed her looking at me from her desk - with a 'worried' or 'concerned' look on her face. I just looked away, trying to adopt an expression of mild disappointment. In fact, I was VERY dissappointed - I felt so misunderstood. "How could she think I'm being mean - I even put smilies at the end of each e-mail to make it very clear I was trying to be funny and playful!"
Well, she stayed angry; she wouldn't even return a hello in the hallway. Her friends behaved the same way - giving me the cold shoulder or angry looks, like I'd done something horrible. I didn't know what to do. Finally, I thought of something. I had to take a chance and find out once and for all - I had to find a way to talk to her so I could say "look, you geek - I was KIDDING! I wasn't making fun of you!"
There was a waitress at the Peruvian restaurant who seemed to like me, but I wasn't attracted to her, even though she was pretty good looking. It occured to me that I could type up a letter to Jessica in the office, and hand it to her quietly like I was just giving her something she had printed from the printer.
Here's what it said: "This can wait til after work if you're busy - I'm writing to ask you a favor. See, there's this girl I like - she's a waitress at my new favorite restaurant. I've only seen her a few times, and only spoke to her last night, when she told me she's going back to Brazil in a week and doesn't know when she's coming back here. I can't ask her out, because the timing is all wrong. But I feel I have to do something to make a big impression on her, or I'll lose my chance with her for good. Here's where you come in I thought that if she saw you having a great time with me over dinner, I would become more attractive in her eyes, and I might be able to keep in touch with her and eventually get together with her. You're the only girl I know of right now who might be able to pull this off. I know it's a lot to ask, but I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could have fun with it. The dinner would be on me, and the food is great, and they have chicha morada. We'd have a lot to talk about - work, of course, plus I'd like to learn a lot more about Peru. Well, just think about it. I'm expecting you to say no, but you could surprise me. Either way, it's no big deal, so don't worry about it." And I left my phone number, but not my name - I'm not sure why. I thought this was a pretty clever letter - my actual intention was to take her out to dinner, have her pretend to be interested in me, which would tend to make her feel actual interest in me, an then she'd notice the waitress also seemed to like me, and I'd have some real validation. And if she actually didn't like me, I could stick to my cover story "Hey, I wasn't asking you out - I just wanted somebody to help me with this other girl".
Well! I handed it to her, saying "this is for you" and she briefly looked up from her work to glance at it and mumble thanks. I went back to my desk and tried to hide my nervousness by looking busy. A few minutes later, I hear "JOHN?" "Yes?" "IS THIS FROM YOU???" (bewildered look on her face as she points to the page I'd just handed her). "Umm...yes?" (looking back at the page, still with bewildered look) "Oh....I didn't know.........thanks" and she stomped off to the lunch room.
****. This wasn't good. The people sitting nearby saw it go down, and Jessica no doubt went right to her friends and showed them the letter. I went out to lunch, and when I came back found her response by email "Thanks for the invite. But I don't think my fiance would be happy about it. Good luck with the girl. "
Well, that sounded acceptable - at least I'd found out, and she seemed to be being cool about it. Great! It was all I could hope for after making her so upset. I quicly replied "I'm so sorry - I didn't know you had a fiance. Thanks for wishing me luck."
But that wouldn't be the end of it. The following day I came in to the office and the atmosphere was charged. Some people were snickering, some were giving me angry looks. I kept my head down and went to my desk. It wasn't long before my manager came over and said "John, why don't you follow me?" into a conference room, where another manager joined us. "Well, we heard that you asked Jessica out..." "Yeah, I did, I must've completely misread her" "Oh, so you're aware that you're making her uncomfortable?" "I am now! I had no idea she had a fiance, and she was giving me some very strong signals of interest, along with some discouraging signals, which I though were based on her misunderstanding some emails I sent her... I feel terrible that I've upset her so much - it was the opposite of my intention!" "Well, you didn't do anything wrong - employees are allowed to date, and it woudn't normally even come to our attention, but someone (not Jessica) was concerned and thought we should know about it - don't apologize to her or anything - you didn't do anything wrong - just give her her space... say 'hi', we want to have a friendly workplace, but just give her her space". "Sure thing!"
(continued below...)