Now, my girlfriend, some of her "party friends", and her sister somewhat regularly use coke when they go out...so that's what her sister wants to do tonight for her birthday. Later on in the evening my girl is making calls, coordinating things with everybody except me as I just sit there and wait until she broaches the subject with me. Finally she asks me if what I have on is what I'm wearing so I stop her and say "do you think this is a good idea? we're going to be around this guy who grabbed your a** in the kitchen when I wasn't around that you didn't tell me about because you didn't want us all to fight, this girl who tries to set you up with other guys when I'm not around because she doesn't like me for you, your sister, and we're all going to be drunk and you're all going to be on coke..." to which she firmly looks me in my eye and says "it's my sister's birthday".
So I surrender to that. I get ready and dressed and everything. She notices that I don't look happy so I walk up to her and tell her "you're a big girl, you made a decision, so let's see what happens". She gives me the option to stay home and wait till she comes back, but I figure that'll create its own fight and I figure that if she wants to put us in a situation that'll f*** this relationship up, I will let her f*** it up".
The guy I mentioned doesn't show up, but the girl does. Along with the friend from last weekend with the water spitting. We're all chilling out, sipping wine but it's obvious I'm not in the best mood - I'm quiet, I'm a little moody, but I'm not being rude, mean, or disrespectful, I'm simply not engaging. My girl is well aware of this and makes petty jokes throughout the night: when she's about to do a shot she cheers and says "I love you, even though we're fighting and you're being a c***", ordering food for the group and asking Siri where to "get lube to pull the stick out of my boyfriend's a**", etc.
We're here for 4 hours. At some points she calls me out for my behavior and I tell her I'm just chilling. The girl that doesn't like me actually takes my side against my girlfriend and says she agrees with me that I'm just sitting there relaxing.
Eventually we go to leave and on our way out my girl goes "actually f*** it he's being a baby, let's all go to my house". And this is when I stop her.
I tell her something along the lines of "really? after everything we talked about that's what you're going to do?" and she returns by being equally confrontational about how I'm being disrespectful on my phone being moody at her family's place and blowing up my spot in front of everybody here in attendance.
I don't even try to argue; I'm just in disbelief so I go "**** it" and call myself and Uber so I don't have to ride home with her. She tells me to "wait my a** on the curb" while going through her usual insults of me "not being s***", and how if I break up with her again she's not coming back to me she's going to hit up her "hoes", etc. The sister says that if my girl doesn't want me to wait inside then I'll have to wait for my Uber outside. So I do, silently.
My girl eventually comes out and tries to talk me into getting in the car, calling me immature for giving her the silent treatment etc. She
texts me while I'm in my Uber about how she deserves better and she's tired of me playing the victim when I act out and she gets mad. Tells me my stuff will be outside by my car when I arrive.
I get there soon after she does and the door is locked. She doesn't let me in the house and tells me through her Ring alarm system that she'll get my stuff but that she might be a while. I threaten to call the cops to which she tells me some stuff about needing to go through family court, etc. I call my parents to see if I have any recourse to which she eventually comes outside and badmouths me about "running to my parents". She puts my bag of stuff on the sidewalk and throws my car keys across the lawn. As I go to grab them she starts out calling me a p***y and a b****, but as I start moving towards my car she begins to ask if "that's it?" and "you're not even gonna talk?" to which I get in my car and drive off.
I block her Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and this time her phone after texting her "good luck with your partnership" as I drive to Wawa for a coffee since I'll be driving an hour home at 5AM. She calls me from her friend's phone who came back with her as she realizes she's blocked. I notice that I forgot my dinner jacket and dress shirt so I call back and tell her I need to come pick those up before I leave. She tries to talk to me but I tell her I'll be there in 2 minutes, either have it or don't.
I show up and she comes outside and tries to talk to me. I ask her for the jacket and she tells me she looked and she couldn't find it but won't let me inside to look. I know that's bulls*** so I just tell her OK and walk to my car. She goes on the same rant about "can you please just be normal and talk to me for once?" and "why is this so easy for you to just say nothing and walk away?". The moment I actually get in my car I see her start walking down the driveway towards me, but nope, I just get in and start driving. She calls me a few times from her friend's phone that I don't answer, and that's it.
I get home an hour later and fall asleep as the sun's coming up. I tell my parents and two of my close friends what happened and that's pretty much it. I was half-expecting to wake up to more missed calls from her friend's number or somebody else in our friend circle, but there was nothing surprisingly enough.
Last night when she gave my stuff she mentioned how she kept the gifts of mine that she paid for. I didn't actually check my bag until today but she kept a leather jacket she bought for me months before Christmas, a pair of my Calvin Klein boxers (though they may have just been forgotten since I forgot where I left them in her room), and she returned a portrait of her dog that I commissioned for her as a Christmas present - essentially returning my gift.
So that's how it ended. It would have been nice if she could have made the changes she claimed she would make, but I don't think she's able to match her words with her actions. I would've loved to have gotten that high-paying job through her firm or that new Jeep since my car's a POS and she wanted to make it easier for me to visit her, but I'm sure she would have found a way to repossess that and the job was something that she mentioned for the last 5 months so who knows when the spot would actually be available...
But most of all I would've loved to have kept seeing her. When she was good she treated me better than any other woman I'd met so far, and she wasn't just a boring clingy wallflower either. Either way, I guess it's good that it happens now so I can enjoy my summer with the warm weather and the fact that I make it a point to stay in really good shape.
Tomorrow I'll redownload the dating apps and probably try to coordinate something with old lays or the bartender who gave me her number back when we were fighting around Valentine's.
Maybe somebody will learn from this, maybe I'll revisit it if there's a girl who shows similar signs that I'm trying to look past. I knew what I was getting into but I was hoping I could fix it with her and show her that a healthy relationship without emotional and physical abuse or infidelity is possible. I tried to be good to her and I played devil's advocate trying to look at myself critically and see if I was as terrible as she and her friends make me out to be, but I just don't think that's the case anymore. I think they just fear her or rely on her financially too much to oppose her...I don't know, not my problem anymore.
This is plenty long and I have to go to bed, just wanted to summarize the last few weeks since I posted. Was hoping things would work out, they did not.
Have a good night gentlemen. Thanks for all the advice, even though I listened to very little of it obviously.
