Using the "WALK AWAY" method, STR8UP.

[cordoncordon]

As for deleting her off of your myspace...I have no problem with that. Isn't the section of myspace where you add people called your "friends" section? Her dissing you like that certainly wasn't something a friend would have done.

By all means delete delete delete and NEVER give it a second thought. Her actions were really inexcusable. Kinda your fault for hanging around after she went to the 2nd club...I mean that was AFC. But at that point I guess you were figuring she wasn't going to totally blow you off after such a great date previously so you were giving her the benefit of the doubt. After she dissed you by not calling back? End of the line for her. Amazing someone could be that inconsiderate.

What it comes down to with woman nowadays is they know, THEY KNOW, how badly men want them, that they can get a new guy tomorrow no problem because men are ALWAYS chasing them if they are even average looking. Sex sells these days, and women use that to their full advantage. Think about it, if women were chasing us around the way we do them? We'd have the same over inflated ego KNOWING we could get a new chick tomorrow. But it doesn't work that way for us.

Women really do suck these days, at least most of them.

 

[cordoncordon]

Str8up I really don't have a problem deleting a girl off of your myspace friends lists if they act in a way that a friend wouldn't. In fact in this situation I think it is AFC to leave her on the page. She knows she can diss you like that and you'll still leave her on your friends list just on the "chance" that she'll want to have sex with you again. At least that is what she will be thinking.

Trust me, that girl is no friend of his.

 

[STR8UP]

Str8up I really don't have a problem deleting a girl off of your myspace friends lists if they act in a way that a friend wouldn't. In fact in this situation I think it is AFC to leave her on the page. She knows she can diss you like that and you'll still leave her on your friends list just on the "chance" that she'll want to have sex with you again. At least that is what she will be thinking.

Trust me, that girl is no friend of his.

I still say that unless a chick commits a felony, you are better off letting things go, at least in the beginning. If after six months you don't have any more contact with her, go ahead. But doing this as a knee-jerk reaction only serves to give her the satisfaction that she rattled your cage.

It won't make her come back to you, and it CERTAINLY won't hurt her (it will do just the opposite), so why do it?

 

[jophil28]

Rule of thumb- if you find yourself making a decision based upon an emotion you are feeling at the moment, chances are you really should be doing NOTHING at all.

Great advice !!! Golden wisdom !! Write this on your fridge !

 

[cordoncordon]

Because str8up like I said, imo she knows she treated our man here pretty badly. She certainly wouldn't have done that to a true friend of hers. And she called to try and make things better the next day..so she knows she f'd up. So in her mind if he leaves her on as a friend, she is thinking, "wtf do I have to do for this guy to NOT want me?" She'll think he is only leaving her on there because he is putting the pvssy on a pedestal. That he is willing to put up with anything, including losing his self-respect, in order to even have a slight chance at hitting that again. That is exactly what she is thinking. He needs to NOT CARE what she thinks. To do things that protect him and his self respect. And if it makes him feel better to delete her, then go for it.

Basically what you are saying is the guy should have NO feelings for having been played like a guitar the other night. That he is supposed to remain emotionless and let nothing bother him no matter how bad he gets disrespected. Well, we aren't robots. And in this case I see no reason in letting her know that he was offended and that type of behavior will not be tolerated.....PERIOD!

He doesn't need to scream and yell at her of course, but he can cut all contact, with my space being a very obvious and public way to do that without coming across as a lunatic.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

It might have been better to delete her a few days from now and STR8 is right when he talks about knee-jerk reactions. Doing what I did as far as myspace shows her that I was hurt. I maybe should have executed the death sentence much slower. Like poison.

I really tried my hardest yesterday to look outside my emotions and ask myself why should I feel hurt? And I had a good reason to feel hurt. I don't think I was overreacting in feeling what I felt. The deletion was another story though. XD

It won't make her come back to you, and it CERTAINLY won't hurt her (it will do just the opposite), so why do it?

Because it personally gives ME piece of mind. I don't care how she feels. I feel in charge of my own life knowing I can sever ties from someone that thinks less of me. I'm not second rate, not second place. Second to none! In my goofy mind at least. :yes:

Actually I have girls on my myspace and facebook who I've actively pursued and turned me down flat. They're still on there. Why? Because they didn't disrespect me in any kind of way like home-chick did last night.

Disrespect will NOT be tolerated.

 

[squirrels]

Aww dude you got burned...

Honestly, I feel for you. I've been there myself. Once 3-4 years ago with a stripper I was dating, and once only recently, by a pornstar (yes, literally!) that I met on MySpace, which pretty much represents the low point of my "game".

The club is NOT a date location, and Girls' Night Out is not a place for emotional intimacy. If you're gonna go, engage the WHOLE party, don't hang off one girl. And the second you sense she might be tooling you, move on to the next girl. In both the cases above, I had IOIs from other women which I chose to ignore because I felt some level of commitment to a girl who was too busy partying it up to reciprocate.

There's NO winning that situation, except rising above it. The second you set foot in the club with her and her girlfriends, unless you're ALREADY exclusive, your past history doesn't matter...you're just another "dude at the club". So either run your game on her, or run it somewhere else. Because you're wasting your time trying to pull some kind of commitment in an environment where commitment is a drag.

Maybe next time, bring some friends for her friends. It might go better.

Live and learn.

 

[STR8UP]

She'll think he is only leaving her on there because he is putting the pvssy on a pedestal. That he is willing to put up with anything, including losing his self-respect, in order to even have a slight chance at hitting that again.

Not at all. Sometimes the best way to show action is with inaction. By him taking her OFF, he is admitting defeat. Leaving her on lets him retain SOMETHING.

He needs to NOT CARE what she thinks.

Not caring? Pretty much impossible. I don't care how much of a hard ass you are, if a chick strings you along like this, you're gonna feel like a chump.

So what's the next best thing? Not giving her the satisfaction of knowing whether or not she has pissed you off.

And if it makes him feel better to delete her, then go for it.

That's the thing. He feels better for about five seconds, then he realizes that the chick has just gotten the best of him, and she's sitting at home with a smirk on her face because of it.

Let me ask you this. What do you think she's telling her girlfriends when he deleted her?

She isn't saying "OMG...I can't believe he deleted me! What did i do that was so bad? I need to make this up to him!"

She's gonna be saying "Can you believe what that guy I was hanging out with did? He got pissed when I didn't call him at the exact time I said I would, and he got all upset and deleted me from his myspace page. What a LOSER! Hahahaha....what a weenie! I can't believe I had sex with him!"

Basically what you are saying is the guy should have NO feelings for having been played like a guitar the other night. That he is supposed to remain emotionless and let nothing bother him no matter how bad he gets disrespected.

No, I'm saying that it's counterproductive and a complete waste of time to try to prove something to her or teach her a lesson in this way.

Well, we aren't robots. And in this case I see no reason in letting her know that he was offended and that type of behavior will not be tolerated.....PERIOD!

That's really gonna teach her a lesson.

If women could think rationally and could take responsibility for their actions, it would be different. Unfortunately that's not the case.

 

[STR8UP]

I maybe should have executed the death sentence much slower. Like poison.

Exactly.

You can't "get back" at someone who doesn't give a sh!t about you.

If this were a LTR and you deleted her, she would go BALLISTIC. But this chick didn't have anything invested to begin with, so she had nothing to lose.

But you're still missing the point. the point that the death sentence ISN'T deleting her, it's letting her marinate in any kind of emotions she MIGHT be feeling over the fact that you expressed NO emotion. that is truly the ONLY leverage (if any) you have with a chick like this.

Actually I have girls on my myspace and facebook who I've actively pursued and turned me down flat. They're still on there. Why? Because they didn't disrespect me in any kind of way like home-chick did last night.

Yea, me too. not really that turned me down, but chicks that I was seeing that have displayed poor behavior. I've never deleted anyone, and I doubt if I would, unless it's a capital offense with someone whom I had a serious involvement with.

First and second timers and casual flings....they don't have enough pull over me to cause me to even bother.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

She's gonna be saying "Can you believe what that guy I was hanging out with did? He got pissed when I didn't call him at the exact time I said I would, and he got all upset and deleted me from his myspace page. What a LOSER! Hahahaha....what a weenie! I can't believe I had sex with him!"

*smacks forehead* I thought about that today. I thought about that last night too but I didn't care.

Yeah boys, she won. Now I only feel bad because she saw I made a slightly irrational move. Man. STR8 is right. I could totally see her saying that.

I still think I'm right in cutting contact though. If this was a problem yesterday, I wonder how much worse another situation involving her could be?

Two different lifestyles don't mix.



Edit: How ironic. I was truly in love with my ex. She dumped me for another dude, and she's still on my myspace. Something last night set me off. I just didn't want to be disrespected again.

 

[cordoncordon]

But why do you care what she thinks? He is done with her. He is moving on from her. Leaving her on his myspace means he has to stare and her pic and profile every day. She is not a friend. I don't know but I guess we will have to disagree here. I know that if I had done to a girl what this girl did to our friend here, and she stayed on and kept me as friend, I would be like "whoa, this girl is a pushover and a half, I totally dis the girl and she still wants me".

That is what she would think as well. Let our man have some self respect, move on, and not have to look her sorry azz pic and profile again.

 

[cordoncordon]

edit

 

[STR8UP]

Yup, you were right in cutting contact. That's the proper way to "walk away".

The deleting thing was the equivalent to calling her up and telling her she was wrong....it serves no purpose other than to reinforce to her the idea that you are a chump, deserved or not. To her you are the ass hole. The reality of the situation as you and I know it doesn't matter.

I'm not slamming you here....I have been in your shoes recently. I'm just becoming more and more aware of what i should be doing in these kinds of situations and it's incredibly liberating.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Yeah that's also another good point. Why should I have to keep her up there while she knows she can treat me however the hell she wanted?

At least with this no matter what she thinks or says, she'll KNOW I don't tolerate bullsh!t. She can feel however she wants about the situation and talk sh!t about me all day. The point is is she's not able to talk to ME!

What a learning experience. I'm actually glad I went though it. Next time I'll be a lot more cool headed. I'll hold back on the myspace deleting to as to let her know she doesn't bother me. Doing what I did is going to tell her "yeah I got to him. nice little ego boost for me!" However I'm going to try to not let her get to me.

I didn't wig out in front of her either if you guys were wondering. I was very cool.

 

[STR8UP]

I know if that if I had done to a girl what this girl did to our friend here, and she stayed on and kept me as friend, I would be like "whoa, this girl is a pushover and a half, I totally dis the girl and she still wants me".

That's because you are a man and you are able to recognize when you did something that might have caused another person grief. Don't think for a second that women can do the same. This chick is probably GLOATING over how she pissed homeboy off. Women are purely evil without even realizing it when it comes to things like this.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

That's because you are a man and you are able to recognize when you did something that might have caused another person grief. Don't think for a second that women can do the same. This chick is probably GLOATING over how she pissed homeboy off. Women are purely evil without even realizing it when it comes to things like this.

I wouldn't doubt she's bragging to her friends now about it.

"I can't believe I slept with him."

Hahaha! That's going to make me put my head through a wall.

I thought I was such a DJ last week when we went out.

She tells me "you're not sleeping with me tonight I just want you to know that"

I tell her "that's fine, because by the end of the night after hearing you talk I might not even be interested at all. We'll see what happens, ok?" She was extremely shocked to say the least.

Then we went back to her place smoked some pot. Tried to take her panties off and she said "No." Worked on her a little bit and aftewards we fu<ked a few times that night. We screwed in the morning too. It was fun.

This week she was a totally different person and here I am feeling good about myself expecting the same person from last week. NOPE! I got one hell of a surprise.

 

[cordoncordon]

Exactly thunder. I just don't understand the attitude lately of some on the board. It is ALRIGHT guys to let a person know they treated you wrongly. It is ALRIGHT to let a person know that they disrespected you. It is ALRIGHT to let a person know that that kind of behavior will not be tolerated. I'm not saying you go of the deep end and scream at them or even go out of your way to email or call them. But deleting a myspace profile of a profile? Yeah that's cool. If she emailed you sometime asking to hang out? Telling her that what she did was not cool in your book so you politely decline? That's cool as well. I think some here have gotten this mentality that you must be a robot, have no emotion, never let them see you hurt or pissed off. Who THE F CARES!!! Thats part of the reason women get away with so much these days. MEN ARE AFRAID TO BE MEN! Put them in their place if the right situation arises and move on.

That being said, you are a great asset to the board str8up, we just disagree .

 

[cordoncordon]

I do agree with you there str8up. Women are pure evil when it comes to that kind of stuff. How they can totally disassociate themselves from any sort of emotion when they decide to move on in any type of a relationship is quite similar imo to what a serial murderer must feel. Just no feeling or caring whatsoever.

 

[STR8UP]

At least with this no matter what she thinks or says, she'll KNOW I don't tolerate bullsh!t.

You're slipping......

She doesn't "know you won't tolerate bullsh!t", she thinks you're weak because she was able to have so much of an impact on your world just because she "got drunk and forgot to call you, blah,blah".

She will NEVER own up to the fact that SHE fukked up, therefore you can't teach her anything. ANYTHING!

 

[STR8UP]

I wouldn't doubt she's bragging to her friends now about it.

"I can't believe I slept with him."

Hahaha! That's going to make me put my head through a wall.

I thought I was such a DJ last week when we went out.

She tells me "you're not sleeping with me tonight I just want you to know that"

I tell her "that's fine, because by the end of the night after hearing you talk I might not even be interested at all. We'll see what happens, ok?" She was extremely shocked to say the least.

Then we went back to her place smoked some pot. Tried to take her panties off and she said "No." Worked on her a little bit and aftewards we fu<ked a few times that night. We screwed in the morning too. It was fun.

This week she was a totally different person and here I am feeling good about myself expecting the same person from last week. NOPE! I got one hell of a surprise.

I had a similar situation recently, as I mentioned.

The difference was that I realized who i was dealing with and tried to keep my cool.

In retrospect I should have backed off even more than I did sooner than I did. But the important thing is that I walked away with my dignity. I might not have fukked her again after she flaked for the last time, but I handled it fairly well and she still sends me messages telling me how much she misses me. Much better than her thinking I'm sitting in the corner crying over her.