use single mothers?

[Halo]

I've seen this topic come up a few times before. I have no desire whatsoever of becoming "involved" with a girl that has a kid, but I am in somewhat of a dilemma over this girl who wants to go out next week. She is really hot, but has a daughter.

I have this vague premonition about single mothers getting even more clingy than other women, since they are looking for some chump to raise their kid (despite what they all say). But I'm thinking I might go out with her anyway, just for shyts and giggles, and maybe I could get the chance to fool around with her.

Anyone have some experiences or thoughts that might deter me? If she weren't really cute I wouldn't even be thinking about it.

 

[Walden]

Dude you don't use anybody.

 

[Knicknack]

women use men all the time... i suggest you use this single mom for some amazing sex. rent a movie called 'About a Boy.' there is an awesome character in there that corners the market on single mothers. he has a great line about why single moms are so great. i wish i could remember it. he basically says there is plenty on "ego massage and passionate sex." if you play it right they will think you are a knight in shining armor. remember to just lie about anything to get in them panties. tell her what she wants to hear. good luck my man.

 

[ChesterB]

Yeah! Go for the sex.
You don't have to start a "serious" relationship.

 

[WestCoaster]

Single moms are sometimes nice

I've dated my share with mixed feelings. Kids come first, remember that. Age of the kid is also a factor.

A lot of SM (single moms) really appreciate a good guy, a DJ, not a USER. They've been used and can read that a mile away. Be honest, sincere, upfront, keep your DJ skills. You don't want the clingy, emotional ones -- but you don't want the clingy, emotional single gals either.

A lot of these women have been knocked around in life and have some interesting perspectives. Personally, I'd rather do without the baggage, but I'm not opposed to dating single moms. They love strong men, DJs, non-game players. Guys who are confident with their game.

Note: When she mentions her daughter, take a sincere interest. Ask how old, what she likes to do, what they like to do together. Don't act like the typical American male who is intimidated by that. Act like it doesn't phase you. I.E., be a DJ!

Another note: Single moms are often better than the typical white American biotch; so are most minority women.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: Single moms are sometimes nice

Originally posted by WestCoaster
I've dated my share with mixed feelings. Kids come first, remember that. Age of the kid is also a factor.

A lot of SM (single moms) really appreciate a good guy, a DJ, not a USER. They've been used and can read that a mile away. Be honest, sincere, upfront, keep your DJ skills. You don't want the clingy, emotional ones -- but you don't want the clingy, emotional single gals either.

A lot of these women have been knocked around in life and have some interesting perspectives. Personally, I'd rather do without the baggage, but I'm not opposed to dating single moms. They love strong men, DJs, non-game players. Guys who are confident with their game.

Note: When she mentions her daughter, take a sincere interest. Ask how old, what she likes to do, what they like to do together. Don't act like the typical American male who is intimidated by that. Act like it doesn't phase you. I.E., be a DJ!

Another note: Single moms are often better than the typical white American biotch; so are most minority women.

Very well said. And as Walden said "don't use anybody." Not that it is morally wrong but that DJs don't need to take advantage of anyone. DJs have basically all that they need and do not have to trick anyone to get what they want. They either have it or they can get it without subterfuge.

I have a thing about mothers too. When I was single the only single mothers I dated were ones who had their entire act together. They let it be known that they weren't looking for replacement fathers because they didn't need one. They wanted someone for themselves. Those women were few and far between but worth looking into.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Single mother or not, using people is bullsh*t.

 

[Halo]

Why though? I see guys getting used all the time. I have been one of them before too. So I figured I might as well abandon all the pretenses to ethics and just start taking what I want.

 

[myfriendblu]

Halo,
Im all for using girls for sex, LOL, but with a single mommy, your playing with fire.

Bottom line - its gonna be alot more hassle and drama in the end than whats its worth, trust me. Been there done that.

Are you a real DJ? Well then, go find a girl without kids. There everywhere

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Halo
Why though? I see guys getting used all the time.

BUT MOMMMMMYYYY!!!! SHE STARTED IT!!!!

I have been one of them before too. So I figured I might as well abandon all the pretenses to ethics and just start taking what I want.

Let me see if I've got this one straight. You've been used before; therefore it's okay for you to use people.

Aside from the fact that it's just straight-up bullsh*t, it's also horribly self-centered. You don't care who gets hurt, as long as you get to stick your penis inside a girl. Does that sound like the mentality of a DJ to you?

 

[WestCoaster]

Don't ever USE people period

I've been used by people -- cheated on brutally by two "christian" women. Did it make me want to cheat on someone? No! I wanted to NOT be like that.

I had horrible athletic coaches growing up. When I coached youth sports, did I want to be like these coaches? No! I wanted to be the opposite.

I have had horrible bosses, brutal, mean users and slimeballs. I'm now in management. Do I want to treat the people below me like that? No!

Because someone uses someone, you should do the OPPOSITE of that and take the high road. There's enough users in this world, be a DJ and don't use anyone.

This single mom probably already has been USED, don't add to that.

Here's an idea: Be the best DJ you can be and that will bring out the best in her and hey, you might like being in a relationship with her. You might even have a fun connection with her daughter, who is looking for a positive male figure -- you know a DJ!

Be a DJ always, don't use, don't abuse -- hold your head high, know that you're confident.

Only losers use people.

 

[spanky]

Originally posted by myfriendblu
Halo,
Im all for using girls for sex, LOL, but with a single mommy, your playing with fire.

Bottom line - its gonna be alot more hassle and drama in the end than whats its worth, trust me. Been there done that.

Are you a real DJ? Well then, go find a girl without kids. There everywhere

A DJ is good with women...period; no matter if she has children or not. Can a guy with children not be a DJ?

I am sure that if many of you are bachelors for long enough, you will date women with children. There are decent women out there who just so happen to be mothers. What is the taboo?

Strangely, out of all the single mothers I know and have some sort of relationship with (family members and all), I almost never here them speaking of looking for a man to be fathers to their children. I think most guys are just paranoid of that possiblity.

 

[princelydeeds]

I wrote about this a while ago. I love dating single mothers especially when their kids are very young. If you call later, like say after 8:30, they cannot leave the house so you don't have to take them anywhere. You can pretend like you were going to show her the time of her life but since she cant find a baby sitter, you say "hey I'd still love to see you. "

Its tough to LTR a chick with kids but having one as a F-buddy is cool.

 

[spanky]

Originally posted by princelydeeds

Its tough to LTR a chick with kids but having one as a F-buddy is cool.

It is, prince. It is.

 

[tomyv]

ups and downs

Been there, done that. Don't use them. But, remember, single mom's need laid too. There are benefits, most are more giving, not so controlling, don't play as many games, etc. Therefore easy to dj. I don't have a problem dating them, but I"m not using them, basically if I like her, I like her and I"ll give it a try.

One thing, don't spend too much time around little Johnny, the kids can get attached, and that's a bad situation.

 

[Knicknack]

you gotta love all the captain-save-a-ho's on this site claiming they don't use women. whatever the fvck.... i'm sure all of you have nothing but marriage and LTR on the mind when you are picking up women... the LAST thing you think of is sex. give me a fvcking breaking. save the sanctimonious BS for another forum.

 

[Halo]

I have to agree Knicknack. Time and time again I read the advice "stop worrying about what she wants, how about what YOU want for a change?"...this is one of the main points about not supplicating.

The fact that she is a single mother is actually irrelevant in retrospect. The proper question might be: "do you ever use women for sex?" Fullstop. It can be any woman, and does not imply that you are that way with all women.

Am I to believe that you guys go on dates with a girl, and if you realize after the first date that you're not going to walk down the aisle with her, you pursue nothing else with her?

Maybe I am just in the "jerk phase" of transforming from the former AFC, but it's so far a hell of a lot better than being an obsequious nice guy. I've furthermore come to the conclusion that all the lofty notions I once had about love and all that were just social constructs I had taken to heart. In reality the emotions we feel are nothing but biochemical processes in the brain intended to bind you with a mate long enough to conceive and partially rear a child. Might as well enjoy ourselves before we rot into worm food.

 

[jakethasnake]

It would be a trip if on of you guys get a single mom pregnant.

What a pregnant irony that would be!

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Man, I've barely been on here lately and who the hell knows what possessed me to sign on today... but of course... I sign on to another friggin single mom discussion... geeeeeeez... do I have f*cking timing or WHAT!?

Anyway, myfriendblu I DO NOT want to get into a debate with you, I am saying that right now!!!!

BUT, as a (gasp!) single mom, I have to say that most of the time (not ALWAYS, no generalizations)... the only real difference between a single mom and any other single chick is that she is a mom. Period.

We're not all "looking for a daddy"... my kid has a father, just because I'm neither married to him, living with him, or f*cking him at the moment... does NOT change who he is.

We're not all looking for something serious (I certainly am not, in fact I avoid "something serious" like it was an STD)...

I'm not going to tell you "don't use people"... because the truth of the matter is people DO use other people... in a variety of ways and for a vast array of reasons... I'm not going to give you a moral or ethical debate here... all I'm saying is treat a single mom the same way as you would treat any other woman and you're ok.

Ok, obviously there might be some differences... if you really don't want to get into something serious with a single mom, I'm not saying you should, I'm just saying treat her the same way you would treat a regular girl you don't want to get serious with...

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Ok... I have to add something... I would NOT let her think you ARE looking for something serious... that is, DO NOT meet her child... it's one thing to play games with women, it is certainly another thing to f*ck with a little kid's head... if your intention is to use this woman, then DO NOT meet her child... because they might get attached and won't get over you disappearing the way their mother will.

I date a lot of guys but I don't introduce them to my child unless I know they are going to be around for a while... or that they are friends and will stay in my life even after we "break up"... actually, my kid hasn't met anyone I've dated lately... for those reasons exactly. Haven't found anyone worthy of meeting