**URGENT** Will get laid tonight, but so stressed..

[mark123]

I've been talking to this girl who is DTF and am meeting her tonight for drinks near her place. It is a sure thing that I will end up at her place tonight. We have been talking sexual over texts/emails for a week now and she also confessed to not having had sex in 7 months ("why do you think i'm so horny" -- her words)

Problem is this: If I didn't care about this beyond a one-time lay, I would be chill. But we have hinted at being fvk-buddies and the ONLY way that will not happen is if I screw up in my "performance".

I got out of a ~4 yr LTr a few months ago, and feel like I have been too attuned to performing in bed the way my ex-girlfriend liked it. She didn't like oral, for example, just 1-2 positions and that's what we always did (it made her c.um and she was not experimental at all). So in my mind, im not confident of my abilities at all, and feel like my "size" (i'm just average), "performance" will be a huge disappointment for her (though i NEVER alluded to being great in bed in our convo - just what i want to do to her). She seems like a freak in bed, and has confessed to doing an*l, etc which makes me think she is wayy more advanced than I am.

I'm getting wierd ideas like watching oral videos online before i go, reading sex god method a little etc. Can you guys help me focus on the right things, given how much time is left? It's mostly mental for me, as you can tell, but im so lost.....

 

[Tiguere]

dont be a lil b!tch... wasting all this time instead of developing a plan b in case she flakes.

 

[oneboy21]

dont be a lil b!tch... wasting all this time instead of developing a plan b in case she flakes.

He is right
Don't get too excited, if she flakes, make sure you have at least one plate to spin. Don't watch any weird videos, just be normal and cool, thats all
Hope you come up with a Lay report tomm!

 

[ArcBound]

Doing worry brah, just go out and have fun, after all this one's in the bag. Don't stress, just have a good time, drink and let the sex happen. Do whatever sex position feels right to you at the moment and switch when you are feeling it. You made a girl *** for 4 years you must be doing something right

/peptalk

 

[Aaron B]

in my opinion, you shouldn't place any expectations on the first time

since you can talk to her so openly about this, you need to explain to her that the first time with someone new is typically not that great because you don't know each other's bodies yet

so while it may be awesome anyway, if its not, its no big deal

in my experience the quality of the sex improves drastically from the first time with that girl to the 3rd or 4th time

so if she judges based on just the first time my assumption would be that she's not gonna be that impressed, but i'm nto going to worry about it

also never ask "was it good for you?"

 

[st_99]

are you a bad test taker even when you know the subject matter well? maybe you have a general anxiety disorder.

 

[DonJuanit0]

since you can talk to her so openly about this, you need to explain to her that the first time with someone new is typically not that great because you don't know each other's bodies yet

No no no! There is no reason for you to put in her head the idea that it may not be good! Sex is fun! Go have fun! Nothing to plan, nothing to prepare! I have come to understand that women like sex when I like sex! I don't know if I'm doing it correctly but when i wanna do something, I simply do it, and they like it! Do w/e you want, have fun, DON'T STRESS! WTF? it's sex! And you're not virgin, you know how it is!

Don't drink too much and be prepared for the flake! Sorry but I don't trust women who "say a lot" via messages!
Other than that,

Have fun! :woo:

 

[mark123]

dont be a lil b!tch... wasting all this time instead of developing a plan b in case she flakes.

Tiguere, thanks for the shake-up , lol. Needed it! I'm pretty certain she won't flake unless there's a nuclear war or something (even then, if i was her and hadn't fvcked in 7 months, i would wanna die cvmming ) - but YES, there IS a possibility that she becomes LESS attracted to me over drinks (something I say, posture etc) - so Im definitely cognizant of that. But that "dating" part is ok with me - i am who I am, no sweat.

Don't watch any weird videos, just be normal and cool, thats all

Thanks oneboy - will try to report in a couple days at most, if not tom...thanks for the support.

/peptalk

Thanks Arcbound - i follow some of your posts here. Funny how you "ended" peptalk there, lol. Wll def try to have fun and drink less (to avoid my little friend from drifting away). About my old girl, I think she was programmed to c.um a certain way and we talked VERY openly about bedroom stuff....thanks for your encouragement.

in my experience the quality of the sex improves drastically from the first time with that girl to the 3rd or 4th time.....
also never ask "was it good for you?"

I completely agree with that. I think it WILL improve as I see her reactions in the bedroom and am more prepared subsequent times. I just don't know how to say it without making it sound like a lame excuse. I have been constantly alluding to the fact that I have had long hours at work and am sleep deprived so she expects me to be a little jaded to begin with

Great point about not asking - I have made that mistake in the past. After my breakup, hooked up with this girl and on the second lay, I apologized to her for not being awesome in bed. Basically was having a discussion with her after sex about feeling sorry for not pleasing her enough. Fvck - so pathetic! But that's how you learn - experience!! def won't say a thing - if not good, might just hint that Im passing out coz im so tired...

 

[mark123]

are you a bad test taker even when you know the subject matter well? maybe you have a general anxiety disorder.

Yes - i am. I wouldn't say "bad" - but definitely results/performance is below what im capable of doing with a clear/calm mind...
the thing is - this website has helped me TREMENDOUSLY in removing that anxiety in the dating scene. im cool on dates, and am less outcome dependent - maybe just need to get more lay experience?

 

[Aaron B]

No no no! There is no reason for you to put in her head the idea that it may not be good! Sex is fun! Go have fun! Nothing to plan, nothing to prepare! I have come to understand that women like sex when I like sex! I don't know if I'm doing it correctly but when i wanna do something, I simply do it, and they like it! Do w/e you want, have fun, DON'T STRESS! WTF? it's sex! And you're not virgin, you know how it is!

Don't drink too much and be prepared for the flake! Sorry but I don't trust women who "say a lot" via messages!
Other than that,

Have fun! :woo:

Excellent points, I hadn't considered this and I tend to agree.

But I would always avoid a situation where she is putting herself in the position of judging my performance and she is either going to green light me, or toss me away.

I would operate from the frame that I'm awesome in bed and she's lucky to have a chance to get with me. If she tries to frame it like I have to meet a certain standard, I will stay confident knowing I'm great in bed.

Then I'll turn it back around on her that she better be able to keep up and she better rock my world, or I may not be inclined to schedule a return engagement.

 

[Packers2010]

if i can **** my best friend and make her *** twice n one sitting. surly YOU SIR should be able to **** this girl!

 

[marmel75]

You want to give any girl a mind blowing orgasm? Try this:

Take your middle finger and with your palm facing upwards, start fingering her as deep as possible, feeling for a "squishy" area past the pubic bone. When you find this area, start doing a motion inside of her like you are telling someone to "Come here" with your finger(curl your finger upwards and towards you). Continue doing this until she can barely take it anymore and is almost at the point of c*mming(you will know when trust me). Then start using your finger like a jackhammer going as deep and as fast as you can in and out. The girl may tell you she feels like she needs to pee(some girls have never experienced what is about to happen before). Reassure her that she doesn't have to pee, and that she is just going to squirt/gush. Keep going through her screams(and she will be screaming---loud!) and bucking, and you should feel an explosion of c*m start...pull your finger out and watch her squirt or gush all over the place.

After doing that to her, no matter what else happens, you are the fvcking man, and guess what? No need to worry about not lasting as long...you cannot prematurely ejaculate from your middle finger...

Most girls will be so hot for you after that they will literally tell you "We can do anything you want tonight" or "Do whatever you want to me", and trust me they mean it...if you have any porn star fantasies, then is the time to get them out...

 

[Zarky]

First off there is never any "sure thing" when it comes to sex. You'll realize that soon enough.

Second, forgetting about your body and immersing yourself in her body during the sex act is really the only thing that matters. Technique is not very meaningful; psychologically exiting your body and entering hers is what's meaningful. If you can totally become consumed with her physicality, it will be the best sex of both your lives. That's what drives women wild: a man who is sexually completely "in" to them, both literally and figuratively.

 

[Mike32ct]

First off there is never any "sure thing" when it comes to sex. You'll realize that soon enough.

Second, forgetting about your body and immersing yourself in her body during the sex act is really the only thing that matters. Technique is not very meaningful; psychologically exiting your body and entering hers is what's meaningful. If you can totally become consumed with her physicality, it will be the best sex of both your lives. That's what drives women wild: a man who is sexually completely "in" to them, both literally and figuratively.

Very solid advice. Couldn't agree more.

It's not about having super sex techniques that you learned online. It's about her feeling TAKEN.

So in a sense, it is NOT about trying to please HER in bed. That is, in a sense, a submissive frame that you don't want to have as a guy. It's about taking her, being overcome with lust, and using HER body. In a weird sense, you please her by being a bit selfish in the sack and unleashing the animal in YOU. That unleashes the submissive side of HER. I hope that made sense.

That's why she has more screaming orgasms with the selfish bad boy versus the gentle considerate nice guy who keeps asking for approval, "Is it good like that honey?"

Obviously, in a relationship, you would be a bit more considerate and take the time to learn what she likes. But for a ONS or FB type thing, she just wants to be taken (i.e. reamed).

 

[marmel75]

so what ended up happening?

 

[ThatOneGuy]

What Happened!?

 

[Korrupt]

OP had a heart attack.

 

[mark123]

OP had a heart attack.

I almost did.......definitely the most heavy, rough and lasting sex I've had in a LONG time. Report below...

 

[mark123]

Update

I write this "lay report" with mixed feelings, because on many counts it made me ecstatic, yet also left me with a thing or 2 to think about.

On with the story first -- We were scheduled to meet at a bar near her apartment, and then go on to a couple more places. Although I was pretty optimistic about my chances of getting laid, I was well aware that a slight slip-up would result in a c0ckblock for me. This girl claims to not having being laid in a while (I don't believe that) and had been chasing me for a couple months. I knew she was eager to meet me. We had been talking sexually and openly about the things we want to do to each other for about a week. For reasons beyond my control, I was an hour or so late, but that didn't seem to affect her one bit. It's funny how when you are sure of the outcome, your natural response system can help facilitate that. As I walked into the bar, I saw her sitting close to the entrance - within 10 minutes, kino was on (kissing hands, brushing hair, pecks on the neck), and we cut our "itinerary" short and headed straight for her apartment. We fvcked for the next couple of hours, and at the end were drenched completely in sweat. I guess she wanted me to shower there and stay overnight, but I didn't want too much in one go. She keeps texting me about how she is even hornier now, and keeps asking when i'll come over.

The next couple of days, I had a glow of satisfaction (from the act as well as the knowledge that I have a regular sex arrangement) and many people pointed out how cheerful I looked.

I'd like to pause and thank you guys above ^^^ for talking to me prior to this and helping calm my nerves.

As i mentioned initially, I had mixed feelings - the only downside, and a major one potentially, was that I kept getting soft for the first hour or so. She was patient with me, and I made it a point NOT to apologize - and instead focused on giving good oral and foreplay. But just something that concerns me - i have been getting soft in the past few lays, and each time thinking that it might happen only aggravates it.

What do you think is the problem, guys? I gave up on porn like 2 months ago and only pet the snake once a week or so. I think my problem is part anxiety + rest not being used to the feel of the condom. I have also noticed that in t he missionary position i'm better off, but when we switch to doggy etc I start losing hardness (although i LOVE a$s)...

 

[DonJuanit0]

I write this "lay report" with mixed feelings, because on many counts it made me ecstatic, yet also left me with a thing or 2 to think about.

On with the story first -- We were scheduled to meet at a bar near her apartment, and then go on to a couple more places. Although I was pretty optimistic about my chances of getting laid, I was well aware that a slight slip-up would result in a c0ckblock for me. This girl claims to not having being laid in a while (I don't believe that) and had been chasing me for a couple months. I knew she was eager to meet me. We had been talking sexually and openly about the things we want to do to each other for about a week. For reasons beyond my control, I was an hour or so late, but that didn't seem to affect her one bit. It's funny how when you are sure of the outcome, your natural response system can help facilitate that. As I walked into the bar, I saw her sitting close to the entrance - within 10 minutes, kino was on (kissing hands, brushing hair, pecks on the neck), and we cut our "itinerary" short and headed straight for her apartment. We fvcked for the next couple of hours, and at the end were drenched completely in sweat. I guess she wanted me to shower there and stay overnight, but I didn't want too much in one go. She keeps texting me about how she is even hornier now, and keeps asking when i'll come over.

The next couple of days, I had a glow of satisfaction (from the act as well as the knowledge that I have a regular sex arrangement) and many people pointed out how cheerful I looked.

I'd like to pause and thank you guys above ^^^ for talking to me prior to this and helping calm my nerves.

As i mentioned initially, I had mixed feelings - the only downside, and a major one potentially, was that I kept getting soft for the first hour or so. She was patient with me, and I made it a point NOT to apologize - and instead focused on giving good oral and foreplay. But just something that concerns me - i have been getting soft in the past few lays, and each time thinking that it might happen only aggravates it.

What do you think is the problem, guys? I gave up on porn like 2 months ago and only pet the snake once a week or so. I think my problem is part anxiety + rest not being used to the feel of the condom. I have also noticed that in t he missionary position i'm better off, but when we switch to doggy etc I start losing hardness (although i LOVE a$s)...

You obviously have great anxiety! No reason! It's one of the first reason to get soft! I had the same problem with one girl I once dated but I guess it was only with her cause afterwards with 2 others I was just fine! You can try royal jelly! It will help you as it helps anxiety problems and helps libido rise!