Ugh... I can't get her out of my head...

[PocketGnome]

So, I've liked and talked to this chick for about 3-4 months. But, it's the girl that already has a bf. (Yea, its the same girl from the other thread I posted a few weeks ago)

She isn't the girl I'd consider "hot" or the girl I'd like to f***. She is the girl that I enjoy being around, the girl that I like to talk to because we enjoy similar things. I consider her to be drop dead sexy. I want to have more than a friendship, but, it seems thats all I can really get right now.


So, I was just thinking and I think the best thing to do is this.

After another month or so of conversation and getting to know eachother as much as possible, I think I should tell her how I feel. What do you think of this? I don't really think she is paying much attention to any kino attempts I've made, or any gestures because she is already in a relationship.


What do you guys think I should do? This girl is the girl, and I know that. This girl seems to be almost made for me. I'm not kidding. We can both talk in class about any type of music, any song.... It seems anything she likes, I like, and anything I enjoy she enjoys. We don't talk out of the few classes I see her in because of her relationship. I'm comfortable around her the vast majority of the time...

I don't know what else to say. I've fallen for a girl, that, at this moment is unattainable. But, I can honestly say I can't forget about her. I can't move on.



Any advice?

If you want any more information or whatever ask and I'll be glad to provide it.

 

[i am me]

have some self respect man, you don't need any girls to make your life better. im not saying turn gay, you just don't need em tho. when u start acting like your own man, girls will come naturally

 

[mastersF]

The usual advice is: Go out, sarge another 10-100 girls and see if she is still the "right" one for you.

Now look. There is no point in getting yourself hurt by a girl that is already attached.
"After another month or so of conversation and getting to know eachother as much as possible, I think I should tell her how I feel." - Have you read the bible? The best reply you can get from her by doing this is: oh that's so sweet. i'm sorry but i am already taken.

"I'm not kidding. We can both talk in class about any type of music, any song.... It seems anything she likes, I like, and anything I enjoy she enjoys. We don't talk out of the few classes I see her in because of her relationship. I'm comfortable around her the vast majority of the time..." - You gotta be kidding me. This is a symptom of oneitis. You've fallen in love with someone that you think she is, or at least wish that she could be, based on your imagination derived from the limited amount of interaction you have.

"But, I can honestly say I can't forget about her. I can't move on." - You are lying. Think for a moment. Replace the can't with refuse to. Now it sounds more like the truth. Quit hanging on to the 0.000000000000001% chance that you have with that girl. Because you have come to feel that she is The One for you, you are not giving yourself the chance to discover the many other great girls out there, one of which might be single and waiting for someone like you to come along and sweep her off her feet.

 

[cablecow15]

wow i have the same problem and its not that easy when you fall for a girl like this its hard to explain unless you experince it

 

[42-Colrath]

man just run away. next it before you get stuck in the net. the only thing you will get out of this is an increased amount of downloaded sad songs on your pc

 

[shydude]

Now wait a second, you saying u cant move on! Dude sounds like u r in love! And u cant be in love with the girl u barely know! U just like her, and there are tons of girls there that are better. Once u get to know more girls u will see that U can definately live without the gilr u want and move on. And dont forget to workout. Chiks love muscular guys!! Well Good Luck

 

[PocketGnome]

You guys don't understand this situation. We enjoy almost the exact same things, we talk together smoothly, and about things we are interested in. She tells me a lot of stuff about her life, about her parents.... etc. I've done the same thing. We seriously know each other really well.



Masters, I get what your saying. "or at least wish that she could be, based on your imagination derived from the limited amount of interaction you have. "

We've talked every day for about 4 months. Each class is about 90 minutes long. I haven't derived anything about her. We know each other very well.


"You are lying. Think for a moment. Replace the can't with refuse to. Now it sounds more like the truth. Quit hanging on to the 0.000000000000001% chance that you have with that girl. Because you have come to feel that she is The One for you, you are not giving yourself the chance to discover the many other great girls out there, one of which might be single and waiting for someone like you to come along and sweep her off her feet."


Yes, there are a ton of other girls out there. But, I think I found the one girl that I really really like. And, there may be a single girl out there, looking for a guy to come sweep her off her feet. But, I found the girl that sweeps me off my feet.

This girl accepts me for who and what I am. We strike up convo every day, we know a ton about eachother. She is the one girl in my life that I really really want.



I just don't know what to do here. And, I can't get over her. I fell for her and ever since I can't stop thinking about her. I

 

[shydude]

Tell her how u really fell. And have phisical interactions with her!

 

[legolas]

Damn, I feel ya boy. HS can be so tough. I still remember my first crush in HS. It was one of those "Friends Only" kinds of things, kinda like what you have.

I think you should read Mr. Fingers' post on getting out of the friendzone http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=43174 especially his #1 rule!!

When you're done with that read this great article by CR James on how to seduce a female friend http://sexualvalue.com/member-cgi/reports456/SexualValue-FRIEND.pdf

You may not agree with the technique, but I think you'd benefit from learning the dynamic behind the technique.

 

[dannowillbookem]

this is PATHETIC!!! so many people get flamed on here for stuff and this thread should be a RIOT. haha i mean i dont know you but i like everyone so i'll assume i like you too.

i used to be like this. i was in a small school and i would drag myself around after this one girl - britany - constantly. we talked great we liked the same stuff and unlike your situation she lived near me and i went to her house regularly.

what i was, though, was pathetic. repeat this phrase after me: i am a girlfriend with a sausage.

girlfriend with a sausage - [noun] 1) a male who endears himself so closely to a female that he becomes, in her eyes, equal to a close girl friend. Never leading to sexual intercourse or meaningful relationships, GWASism is a modern plague on young men across the country. 2) a thought-to-be girl friend who happens to actually be a former male.

this girl is dating a guy because he is strong, confident, and smart. you are dimwittedly following her and telling yourself shes the greatest ever. you put her on a pedestool, and this is bad. very bad. now she is a do or die situation, a must get.

now that i've thoroughly told you how wrong you are, lets fix things.

act 'cool' around her. you dont need to talk to her constantly, and you would do VERY well talking and flirting with other girls in her presence.

most importantly, realize THERE WILL BE OTHERS. i was heartbroken when britany turned down my date attempts/passes for the millionith time. i cant lose her! i have to keep trying, and eventually she'll figure out how great i am!

now i dont even know where britany goes or where she lives or who she dates and why i should give a flying fvck. i have other girls. many of them will remind me of britany, many of them will be better than britany, many of them will see me as a confident, smart, good looking guy and respect me more. girls, although they seem so nice and sweet, are really *****es. thats all. they will be your 'friend' and you can shower them with gifts and love and affection and think about them constantly. then they dont want to talk to you and are out having a good time with other men.

take her off the pedestool.
tlak to other girls (ecspecially with her around)
get a life (literally, find some new hobbies and such)
talk to her less
be confident
read bible

your a good guy, as most afc's are, you just gotta learn how to deal with the illogical jungle that is a female mind. we're here to help.

 

[PocketGnome]

Thank you dannowillbookem.

I guess your right man. I am usually pretty cool around her, and I usually don't start the conversations. It may be prompted by me though. Something I say in a class discussion sometimes leads to convo.

I talk to a good amount of girls, just not when she is around. I guess I should probably try that.

I have a life, don't worry.

I am confident, and I am usually not nervous around her.




I don't know, she is just amazing. Seriously, this girl is the girl every guy wants to find.

Example.

Today in class, our teacher told us to turn the page in this packet that we were doing questions in. Immediately reminded of the song, I start singing it "Out there in the spotlight, your a million miles away.."
She cuts in.. "Every ounce of energy you try any give away."
Seriously, everything is that way. I'll hum something, she'll know what I am talking about. I'll mention something I saw on TV, she knows what I am talking about.

We share a lot of interests, and we enjoy a lot of the same things.

 

[Subjective]

Oh, it hurts SO bad to read this...I've had this crappy situation before. I believe you're in what's called..the "Friendship Zone". And this zone..sucks. I really think you should lay off of her for awhile.

 

[PocketGnome]

So, your saying to basically limit conversation to a point where it is only necessary to talk?

Don't talk to her any other time?

I don't know, I guess it would help if I was a little more experienced in this. I guess I just gotta sit back and wait for something to happen in her current relationship, and then maybe make a move?

She's gotta notice all the things I do... All of our similarities...




So, what exactly would laying off accomplish? I'm not questioning you, just wondering exactly the purpose of doing it would be?

 

[Damian]

You are chasing after something you can't have. The only result of such an interaction will be resentment and grief for YOU. It doesn't matter how much you may think you love this girl, or how ideal you think she is for you, your behavior around her destroys any chances of you being with her. There is no amount of words that will get that point through your skull, because you are completely disillusioned. The only thing that will shock you back into real life is when you finally get rejected and you spend a good amount of time going emo and being angry at everybody.

No sane woman would ever put a good friendship at stake for something as risky as love.

I pity you and your lack of logic. Your emotions cloud your judgement and you try to justify everything about this girl as if she were flawless. If only you could open your eyes to reality instead of seeing through infatuation-goggles.

-Damian

 

[etown]

I belive you are great friends. That's all. Just friends. Your the guy whos "cool", in the sense that she can talk to you. I don't even think your really all that great of a friend though, because she hasn't even invited you to her house from what ive read. Just follow our fellow members advice and find another one. remember, this is highschool. You don't want "the one" to be your highschool sweetheart. You still have college to go man.

 

[Phat]

Man your obsessed get over her. She has a boyfriend .

 

[shydude]

DOnt let her slip throught your hands@

 

[08aisaac]

Dude, it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend. Boyfriends make great conversation pieces. But your best bet is to become great friends with her. And hook up with a lot of other girls.
My best girlfriend. I had the biggest crush on her. I mean, I still like her but mostly as a friend. I love her as a friend I'd say.

But I used to be weird. That's why she hangs out with me. But now I'm pretty cool, and she probably likes me.

See, you just got to slowly start turning into the man she wants. Then when you're really cool she'll want you. Then there you go.

 

[PocketGnome]

Man your obsessed get over her. She has a boyfriend .

Did you read any of my posts?

I can't. Honestly, this is the girl every guy wants to meet. This girl is amazing. I can't describe.


I guess I'll stay in the friend zone and hope that I get a chance some day.

 

[Toushi]

Did you read any of my posts?

I can't. Honestly, this is the girl every guy wants to meet. This girl is amazing. I can't describe.


I guess I'll stay in the friend zone and hope that I get a chance some day.

Are you really going to do that? You're going to "wait for your chance"? Man, I do understand what you feel, and it's unavoidable to, at some point, feel like that, but... you won't die because of that! There's a lot, and I mean a lot, of girls just as awesome as she is! The question is that you're so into her, that you can't realize that.

We know it's hard, we know it's painful. But, for your own sake, stop hurting yourself.