Trying to reinvent myself - quitting drugs

[Aesthetix29]

Heyy guys!

Basically I'm sick of my life it's boring I'm single I hate where I live, also I smoke far too much weed and sniff Coke occasionally ... I'm sick to death of it ... So I'm going to try and re-invent myself.

*Quit bud (feel like it dulls my senses .. As much as I enjoy it I've got to stop.

*quit coke, it's recreational but still what's the point. Again it has no benefits.

* Start saving up.

* Buy nice clothes.

* been back in the gym for 2 months now .. But lost a few pound recently due to food poisoning.

* clean bulking.

* start tanning.

And the hardest thing to change will be my boring personality ... How do I change this?

As for my looks I reckon I'm a 7/10 so not uggles.

I'm 31 and need to change the error of my ways ... I can pull birds easy but keeping them interested is where I fail.

I have managed to save £10,000 up so far.

Seriously guys any help would be appreciated.

Sorry for the boring rant!

D

 

[Aesthetix29]

Cheers my mate i'm really going to try and stick to this. Honestly I'm at the end of my tether .. Stuck in a rut. I've also got the stress of self employment as one week I can earn £1000 the next nothing it's inconsistent .. Which is very stressful.

all in all I really want to make huge noticeable changes. I feel I'm that boring I'm avoided. Jesus Christ what's wrong with me.

D

 

[RangerMIke]

all in all I really want to make huge noticeable changes. I feel I'm that boring I'm avoided. Jesus Christ what's wrong with me.

D

Nothing wrong with you, you are only human. Just remember that being patient with your progress is the key to success.

What always helps me is to break down goals into achievable benchmarks. I don't just say "I want to bench 300 lbs" I track progress to that goal over a period of months. As long as you are making progress than it's all good.

As far as being self employed... you need to make a spread sheet out a full year. You should lay all your expenses on this time line so you know when you have to have what amount of money.... and cash comes in... go ahead and add it, you will see that you don't have to worry about cash flow so much because you can see far enough out when cash flow has to happen. It keeps you from worrying from week to week. It will also help you ID times when you have extra money

Yoga and meditation is VERY helpful to me... it reduces my stress level and improves your patience. Start off once a week, then work up to 3 times a week, with ONE being an advanced class.

As far as quitting bad habits.... just take it one day at a time. The past and future does not matter, only worry about the day. Say to yourself "I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but today I will not get stoned." Tell yourself that everyday and soon, being clean becomes a habit.

Best of luck to you.

 

[Asmodeus]

It takes strength to reinvent yourself and become better. But in the end it will all be worth it, you will be more happy, more successful, and you will be living your life to its fullest potential. We only have one life and one should never waste it in mediocrity, one should always strive to be better. Just remember that change is gradual, so always keep your focus on the goal and never give up on it even if you hit a standstill.
As for you saying you are "boring" I suggest you build larger social circles. Just talk to people, you need not be afraid. Most people are welcoming to meeting new people... I think that in the world we live in real socialization has decreased, and that people being social animals truly want such. We seek socialization online (through things like facebook, and twitter), but that does not compare to actually talking to someone in real life. So I suggest you go and talk to as many cool people as you can, especially women. By expanding your social circle you will improve your ability to socialize, to break the ice, and meeting new people may add more interesting things to your life.
Also just get involved in things in life. Join a local sports team, go learn salsa dancing, join a voluenteer group, ect. These things will make you less "boring" as you will have something you can say you are inolved in and can help you meet new people and gain new skills.

 

[Maximus Rex]

I guess that you didn't go to school that day when they told you that blowin' powder was bad for you. Why did you think f*ckin with that "Taylor Swift," was a good idea or it would end well?

Also, leave that tanning sh*t alone. It's dangerous and could possibly lead melanoma.

 

[RangerMIke]

Also, leave that tanning sh*t alone. It's dangerous and could possibly lead melanoma.

Yes... good advice. I'm pushing 50 and everyone says I look like I'm in my late 30s... This is possible because I NEVER lay out in the Sun, and when I'm out wear LOTS of sun screen. The Sun ages you faster than anything else.

 

[El Payaso]

Don't drop one bad behavior for another. Avoid tanning like a plague.

 

[Young OG]

I would avoid doing tanning and stop the coke. Both aren't good for you.

Quitting smoking weed might not help you like you think. I think it suppresses my personality. But, I always go back to it. I feel unhappy without it. It helps me unwind after a long day. You need to do what makes you happy. Try to only smoke in the evening closer to bed time. Don't be stoned all day long.

 

[Reykhel]

Heyy guys!

Basically I'm sick of my life it's boring I'm single I hate where I live, also I smoke far too much weed and sniff Coke occasionally ... I'm sick to death of it ... So I'm going to try and re-invent myself.

*Quit bud (feel like it dulls my senses .. As much as I enjoy it I've got to stop.

*quit coke, it's recreational but still what's the point. Again it has no benefits.

* Start saving up.

* Buy nice clothes.

* been back in the gym for 2 months now .. But lost a few pound recently due to food poisoning.

* clean bulking.

* start tanning.

And the hardest thing to change will be my boring personality ... How do I change this?



As for my looks I reckon I'm a 7/10 so not uggles.

I'm 31 and need to change the error of my ways ... I can pull birds easy but keeping them interested is where I fail.

I have managed to save £10,000 up so far.

Seriously guys any help would be appreciated.

Sorry for the boring rant!

D

Heartbreaking post. It really is. And I hope that one that you will realize that there are men out there who realize that what your saying is heartbreaking. And there's a reason that's felt.

I hope that every "man" here on this site always recognizes when a brother needs a hand out of the fvcking mud and I also hope that the brother sees the hand. Or else what I asks?? or else what indeed?

Friend,

Your problem is your mind.

What you need to fvcking do is REFRAME YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS. Look at that again and say it to yourself again because nothing you do will be solved unless you address this issue.

you have to spot when a ****e thought comes down on you and then stamp the bi¡ch out

OHHH i am boring...

NEGATIVE BELIEFE

Stamp the b¡tch out....

NO, I am a fun guy and I have an interesting life

 

[Aesthetix29]

Heartbreaking post. It really is. And I hope that one that you will realize that there are men out there who realize that what your saying is heartbreaking. And there's a reason that's felt.

I hope that every "man" here on this site always recognizes when a brother needs a hand out of the fvcking mud and I also hope that the brother sees the hand. Or else what I asks?? or else what indeed?

Friend,

Your problem is your mind.

What you need to fvcking do is REFRAME YOUR NEGATIVE BELIEFS. Look at that again and say it to yourself again because nothing you do will be solved unless you address this issue.

you have to spot when a ****e thought comes down on you and then stamp the bi¡ch out

OHHH i am boring...

NEGATIVE BELIEFE

Stamp the b¡tch out....

NO, I am a fun guy and I have an interesting life

Can this actually be done .... So every tin I get a negative or boring thought .. Disregard it?

 

[Aesthetix29]

Just want to thank everyone who took the time to reply and help a bro out. It all starts from today.

D

 

[Reykhel]

Just want to thank everyone who took the time to reply and help a bro out. It all starts from today.

D

Two decisions need to be made...

1. Decide to leave the coke in the past....

2. Decide to commit to a program of self-development.

If you're struggling with a negative self-concept and a negative self-image....the emotional ups and downs that
coke will send you on is not going to do you any favors...

Do you know the story of the two wolves?

.....feed the white wolf.


to answer your question in a brief fashion:
"Can this actually be done .... So every tin I get a negative or boring thought .. Disregard it?"
I was talking about re-framing, which could be the topic of a thread in-itself. However, these thoughts are coming from a negative self-image, so inner work needs to be done. The problem is attaching your self to negative thoughts. Here's a short term suggestion. When you have such a negative thought it's going to weigh you down. Be aware of it first and acknowledge it..."there goes a negative thought", now it could be a challenge if I told you to let it go, just let it go like a cloud floating through the sky of your mind.....you don't grab on to it. But it could be a challenge as we're getting into mindfulness, which needs to be cultivated primarily through mediation. A short term solution would be to change the negative into the opposite positive declaration. "I'm an interesting person who leads an interesting fun life". Another suggestion would be to turn the positive declarations into questions......"why am I such an interesting person? Why is my life so fun and interesting?" Even if you don't believe that your sub conscious will search for the answers to these positive declarative questions.....it will no doubt take the heaviness of the negativity from you......that can't be bad.

Some suggestions.
1. Read up on/study CBT : cognitive behavioral therapy
It will help you to recognize errors in thinking (such as black and white thinking, mind reading,) and how to deal with them in a healthy manner.
http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioural-Therapy-Dummies-Branch/dp/0470665416/ref=sr_1_1?
ie=UTF8&qid=1459088730&sr=8-1&keywords=cbt+for+dummies

2. Read ten pages of a positive, life enhancing book every day....
example The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, Think and Grow Rich,

3. Each morning listen to 15-30 minutes of a positive audio .......(with breakfast, on your way to work)
Examples: Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn

4. Exercise a little each day. you don't have to turn into Arnie. A simple 20 minute brisk stroll each day to get the blood circulating and the endorphins flowing. A few push ups each morning. Start simple......the goal needs to be consistency........make exercise a daily habit.

5. Meditate. All it takes is ten minutes each day and focus on your breath. Learn to let your thoughts go and stay in the present moment. I'm talking mindfulness.

6. Write a list of goals. At least 10. Sobriety (from drugs at least) is one. Fitness and health is another. Personal development is another.
Be specific. What do you want from each goal? Keep it in the positive and focus on what you are going for rather that focusing on what you are running from. (example better to say "remain sober" than "stay off drugs. Better to say "get and maintain elite strength and fitness" than "lose this fat belly")
Now, what do you need to do on a daily basis to contribute to each goal? Focus on that and you should feel a sense of urgency in your blood.....

 

[Tictac]

Can this actually be done .... So every tin I get a negative or boring thought .. Disregard it?

Don't resist it, don't ignore it. See it, feel it, listen to it - whatever. You'll see it's just a thought or an emotion. And then let it go.

 

[LiveFreeX]

travel

 

[bigneil]

Guys get too caught up in how they look. Be healthy and strong, yes, but don't try to look pretty.

The moment a guy crosses the "pretty boy" line, girls suspect he is a Rake. Women will frown upon a man who obviously spent a lot of time and resources trying to look better when he could have been out collecting more resources for her.

In general, men rate women 1-10, and women rate men pass/fail. Don't believe the feminist drivel that women like gorgeous men exactly as much as men like gorgeous women. That perversion of reality is destroying the fabric of the nation - and all just to please a bunch of fat old ladies.

I bought a juicer and a water distiller and spent $400 on some Cap barbells (15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40). Wish it went higher but if you drop a 50 in a third floor apartment it will go all the way to China.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

How much is a water distiller?

 

[Reservoir Dog]

Here's one tip to being the most interesting person in the whole world:

Let the other person do all the talking. They will love you for it. Nobody's interested in what other people have to say (unless something's in it for them), they're just interested in talking about themselves. Just know how to ask the right questions.

 

[Reykhel]

Here's one tip to being the most interesting person in the whole world:

Let the other person do all the talking. They will love you for it. Nobody's interested in what other people have to say (unless something's in it for them), they're just interested in talking about themselves. Just know how to ask the right questions.

Agreed. Everybody loves to talk about themselves and it often takes sheer self-control to allow the
other person to talk about themselves.

However, I will add the following caveat: It's got to be balanced out or else it can come across as azz kissing......or worse you end up listening to some boring bastard for the night.

Apply the 70/30 rule for a nice balance. Be interested 70% of the time, be interesting 30% of the time.

the 30% is key. Talking too much about yourself can come off as having an agenda or insecure and listening 100% of the time can come off as weird too.

DHV in the 30% of the time. Keep it positive.

 

[Infern0]

I'm sure you aren't "boring" most likely you have some social anxiety.

If it was just you and your best mate out on the lash I'm sure you aren't "boring"

Just work on interacting with group and people you don't know so well

 

[penkitten]

Rooting for you!