Trying to get this Cougar who is seeing someone

[Reyaj]

So another girl who I met for like 10 minutes and flaked on me I re-connected with through a set up (long story not important) She is attractive but in her early 40s and been divorced with no kids. I usually don't go for women this old but she is a hot cougar who I'd like to bang.

So anyway she told my friend before setting it up that she was seeing someone and wanted to see where it went. My friend told her it wouldn't hurt to get to know me so she texted me and we were making conversation etc... a few days ago after we exchanged pics (I used one that wasn't very clear) I said we should meet up... Here is how the convo went:

Her: So I have to be honest. When your friend told me to contact you, I had just started talking to someone. I told your friend that I wanted to wait to see how that worked out before messaging you but he urged me to message anyway to at least talk and see if anything was there. Well since then things have progressed between this guy and I and i'd really like to give it and him the respect of seeing it through. I was kind of hoping you wouldn't be attractive so I wouldn't be interested but that's not the case haha

So anyway would you mind if I were to keep your number and if things don't work out with him, I'll reach out for us to meet?

Me: I respect what you're saying. Honestly if you were engaged or married we shouldn't be talking. But I think we've been around the block to know we shouldn't miss opportunities. We could always meet as friends.

Her: I appreciate what you're saying but how would you feel if you and I had a strong connection and I did that to you or us? I hope you can respect my decision and at least know that if you and I were to ever be together you could trust me.

Me: Of course I respect you that's why I'm saying you could be friends.
You seem like a very interesting person, wouldn't want to miss a chance to get to know you better

Her: Well thank you. I appreciate the kind words. I'm open to being friends and we can text but I don't think meeting would be appropriate. If you're open to that, then I'm willing.

Me: I really hope things work out with this guy whoever he is.

Her: Does that mean I shouldn't bother reaching out if things don't work out?

Me: It means there's nothing wrong with friends hanging out.

I then made some small bs talk about sports etc...

Then this morning I texted her

Me: So if you change your mind about meeting up one day let me know. Like I said I don't think there is an issue with friends hanging out. But I never have nor will be a contingency plan

Her: haha sweetie, first I don't need contingency plans in my dating life. Second, you're a person with feelings. I would never make someone a contingency plan. Like I said, I wasn't even going to contact you but at the time things were in the infancy stage with the guy I am seeing. I'd like to meet you but wouldn't respect myself for it.

Her: I will say this, you have my intrigued but not respecting me wanting to see this through makes me wonder if you'd do the same to me if we had a connection.

Thoughts? I'm thinking with some game I could probably get this girl to meet but if she feels strongly about this other dude I'd probably be wasting my time and money. Still I'm all about the experiment and learning.... I was thinking I'd respond back later about being friends or some bs.

 

[Die Hard]

Throw this woman the FOCK out of your contact list! Where is your goddamn self respect dude? But whatever, I just read some other threads of yours, you have a low feeling of self worth and are grasping at straws, trying to get somewhere with LOW QUALITY women who are focking worthless pieces of trash.

The reason why this rubs me the wrong way is coz I've been doing the same thing for a while. Not anymore, though! Rise above yourself... YOU ARE THE PRIZE, act like it.

 

[Trump]

So another girl who I met for like 10 minutes and flaked on me I re-connected with through a set up (long story not important) She is attractive but in her early 40s and been divorced with no kids. I usually don't go for women this old but she is a hot cougar who I'd like to bang.

So anyway she told my friend before setting it up that she was seeing someone and wanted to see where it went. My friend told her it wouldn't hurt to get to know me so she texted me and we were making conversation etc... a few days ago after we exchanged pics (I used one that wasn't very clear) I said we should meet up... Here is how the convo went:

Her: So I have to be honest. When your friend told me to contact you, I had just started talking to someone. I told your friend that I wanted to wait to see how that worked out before messaging you but he urged me to message anyway to at least talk and see if anything was there. Well since then things have progressed between this guy and I and i'd really like to give it and him the respect of seeing it through. I was kind of hoping you wouldn't be attractive so I wouldn't be interested but that's not the case haha

So anyway would you mind if I were to keep your number and if things don't work out with him, I'll reach out for us to meet?

I would have said "Sure."

Me: I respect what you're saying. Honestly if you were engaged or married we shouldn't be talking. But I think we've been around the block to know we shouldn't miss opportunities. We could always meet as friends.

Her: I appreciate what you're saying but how would you feel if you and I had a strong connection and I did that to you or us? I hope you can respect my decision and at least know that if you and I were to ever be together you could trust me.

Me: Of course I respect you that's why I'm saying you could be friends.
You seem like a very interesting person, wouldn't want to miss a chance to get to know you better

Her: Well thank you. I appreciate the kind words. I'm open to being friends and we can text but I don't think meeting would be appropriate. If you're open to that, then I'm willing.

Me: I really hope things work out with this guy whoever he is.

Her: Does that mean I shouldn't bother reaching out if things don't work out?

Me: It means there's nothing wrong with friends hanging out.

I then made some small bs talk about sports etc...

Then this morning I texted her

Me: So if you change your mind about meeting up one day let me know. Like I said I don't think there is an issue with friends hanging out. But I never have nor will be a contingency plan

Her: haha sweetie, first I don't need contingency plans in my dating life. Second, you're a person with feelings. I would never make someone a contingency plan. Like I said, I wasn't even going to contact you but at the time things were in the infancy stage with the guy I am seeing. I'd like to meet you but wouldn't respect myself for it.

Her: I will say this, you have my intrigued but not respecting me wanting to see this through makes me wonder if you'd do the same to me if we had a connection.

Thoughts? I'm thinking with some game I could probably get this girl to meet but if she feels strongly about this other dude I'd probably be wasting my time and money. Still I'm all about the experiment and learning.... I was thinking I'd respond back later about being friends or some bs.

Why are you texting a 40 year old woman so much about being 'friends'? Do you want to sleep with her or do you need a friend? She already told you she wants to sleep with a 6'2 basketball player. You text back 'when you are done sleeping with him text me and we can meet and chat about our day.'

Come on bro, you want to have sex with her, not be her girlfriend. Unless you do need a friend.

 

[Reyaj]

Throw this woman the FOCK out of your contact list! Where is your goddamn self respect dude? But whatever, I just read some other threads of yours, you have a low feeling of self worth and are grasping at straws, trying to get somewhere with LOW QUALITY women who are focking worthless pieces of trash.

The reason why this rubs me the wrong way is coz I've been doing the same thing for a while. Not anymore, though! Rise above yourself... YOU ARE THE PRIZE, act like it.

I don't understand why people don't get that I do this all as an experiment and to learn something... Whatever happens with this girl has no impact to my self worth at all... I am spanning younger plates and have a gf. This is just side BS.. if you're not interested in it don't bother posting on it, but again for the 1000th time NONE OF THIS AFFECTS MY SELF WORTH.

I would have said "Sure."




Why are you texting a 40 year old woman so much about being 'friends'? Do you want to sleep with her or do you need a friend? She already told you she wants to sleep with a 6'2 basketball player. You text back 'when you are done sleeping with him text me and we can meet and chat about our day.'

Come on bro, you want to have sex with her, not be her girlfriend. Unless you do need a friend.

See this an example of where theory and real world experience differ. You are seeing the word 'friend" and are automatically thinking I am friend zoning myself or some bs like that... But what I am going to enlighten you with is a lesson I learned through my own experiences starting with the 100 approach initiative I took upon myself.

There is a theory called plausible deniability. Basically a girl does not want to feel like a slvt or that she is doing something wrong. So if she declares that she is seeing someone or has a bf she then feels she did her job and anything that happens after that is not her fault. So If I keep trying to challenge that her defenses will only go up.

However I am come in as a friend and then meet up with her and just start running game and trying to hook up, I have an increased chance. You're welcome for the free lesson.

 

[ZTIME]

And so the tale of the orbiter begins. Nice story. Friendship...........aahhhh, it makes my heart melt.

WTF did I just read!!!!????

 

[Reyaj]

And so the tale of the orbiter begins. Nice story. Friendship...........aahhhh, it makes my heart melt.

WTF did I just read!!!!????

yeah dude! Orbiter! LJBF! Friend zoned! lmao

 

[Trump]

See this an example of where theory and real world experience differ. You are seeing the word 'friend" and are automatically thinking I am friend zoning myself or some bs like that... But what I am going to enlighten you with is a lesson I learned through my own experiences starting with the 100 approach initiative I took upon myself.

There is a theory called plausible deniability. Basically a girl does not want to feel like a slvt or that she is doing something wrong. So if she declares that she is seeing someone or has a bf she then feels she did her job and anything that happens after that is not her fault. So If I keep trying to challenge that her defenses will only go up.

However I am come in as a friend and then meet up with her and just start running game and trying to hook up, I have an increased chance. You're welcome for the free lesson.

Bro thanks for opening my eyes and enlightening me.

But bro you are working this hard for a 40+ year divorced woman who has already resisted several times to meet you as a 'friend'. For me any girl after 27 has about 88 seconds to take off their clothes or I'll lose interest. But props on whatever your experiment is.

 

[Reyaj]

Bro thanks for opening my eyes and enlightening me.

But bro you are working this hard for a 40+ year divorced woman who has already resisted several times to meet you as a 'friend'. For me any girl after 27 has about 88 seconds to take off their clothes or I'll lose interest. But props on whatever your experiment is.

I don't consider sending a text once on an average every 6 hours hard work but to each is own. However this plate is definitely low priority for me as the thread I'm about to hit up next is higher.

So earlier we end up texting:

Me: I'd always be fine with you having friends. I'm not not a controlling person I guess. To each is own though

Her: Smart ass! We're all fine with friends. It's when the friends are of the opposite sex and introduced while seeing someone else for the intent of possibly dating that makes it a little hairy don't you think? However I'm always open to new friends so let me think on the meeting thing a little more.

I text back several hours later
So how was your day

No response

 

[BeExcellent]

Why do guys keep trying to game experienced women as the though she's 20?

This woman has politely declined you in favor of someone else but you keep trying.

She knows exactly what you are doing, knows the "friendship" thing is a ruse and you are providing entertainment and attention at this point, nothing more.

Go NC and have some self respect.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

"So, how was your day?"
Sorry, I'm still new here, but that is a total bi+ch boy text, it's the most ****less text ever. I've had to learn the hard way. You can't be friends with women, even if they weigh 300lbs and are 90 years old. It just doesn't work. As soon as you enter the friend zone, you leave your dikk at the door. She will treat you like you have a vag and no good can come from that. Not to your self esteem and there is no yellow brick road to her pvssy in the FZ.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

I don't consider sending a text once on an average every 6 hours hard work but to each is own. However this plate is definitely low priority for me as the thread I'm about to hit up next is higher.

So earlier we end up texting:

Me: I'd always be fine with you having friends. I'm not not a controlling person I guess. To each is own though

Her: Smart ass! We're all fine with friends. It's when the friends are of the opposite sex and introduced while seeing someone else for the intent of possibly dating that makes it a little hairy don't you think? However I'm always open to new friends so let me think on the meeting thing a little more.

I text back several hours later
So how was your day

No response

I was about to give you the benefit of the doubt, but then I came to this reply in your own thread. Sorry dude you can claim this has no impact on your self-worth, but you have no self-respect here in this post.

 

[Yewki]

I don't consider sending a text once on an average every 6 hours hard work but to each is own. However this plate is definitely low priority for me as the thread I'm about to hit up next is higher.

So earlier we end up texting:

Me: I'd always be fine with you having friends. I'm not not a controlling person I guess. To each is own though

Her: Smart ass! We're all fine with friends. It's when the friends are of the opposite sex and introduced while seeing someone else for the intent of possibly dating that makes it a little hairy don't you think? However I'm always open to new friends so let me think on the meeting thing a little more.

I text back several hours later
So how was your day

No response

Not sure what the point of this is. Your text game in this test of yours is bad, but it's just a test and you don't care or something?

But... why? What's the point? I don't get it

 

[Reyaj]

Why do guys keep trying to game experienced women as the though she's 20?

This woman has politely declined you in favor of someone else but you keep trying.

She knows exactly what you are doing, knows the "friendship" thing is a ruse and you are providing entertainment and attention at this point, nothing more.

Go NC and have some self respect.

Perhaps she may.. part of this experiment is also to prove hypergamy... she thinks I am elite in terms of wealth and stature. Like I said I text her once every 4-6 hours or so. Not really wasting a lot of effort and considering this girl is just an experiment and at the most a lay to me it has no impact on my self worth. I'm sorry it affects you so much.

"So, how was your day?"
Sorry, I'm still new here, but that is a total bi+ch boy text, it's the most ****less text ever. I've had to learn the hard way. You can't be friends with women, even if they weigh 300lbs and are 90 years old. It just doesn't work. As soon as you enter the friend zone, you leave your dikk at the door. She will treat you like you have a vag and no good can come from that. Not to your self esteem and there is no yellow brick road to her pvssy in the FZ.

Oh I forgot! Damn I must be doomed for asking her how her day was! Crap!!! How can I make such a novice error! Oh well I guess I'm stuck in the friend zone and there's nothing I can do about for asking her how her day was

LOL I've probably said that at one point to any girl I've hooked up with. Reading that just reinforces the dogmatic bs a lot of you adhere to on here. Get off your computers and out into the field gentleman. And I'll say this again because clearly you all just see text that you want to...
I AM NOT TRYING TO BE HER FRIEND! Saying it and acting like it are 2 different things. I would do nothing of the sort if i got a meet with her for drinks..

I was about to give you the benefit of the doubt, but then I came to this reply in your own thread. Sorry dude you can claim this has no impact on your self-worth, but you have no self-respect here in this post.

Fvck! Thanks a lot man.. now I'm going to be up to the wee hours of the night wondering what BetterCallSaul thinks about my self respect! Azzhole! I need my rest!

Not sure what the point of this is. Your text game in this test of yours is bad, but it's just a test and you don't care or something?

But... why? What's the point? I don't get it

I don't think it's that bad.. she'd been responsive and even sent me some flirtiness today. But yeah this a low priority for me, the most effort I will do is trade texts with her and maybe try to get her out when it's convenient for me.

 

[PantyWhisperer]

I'm not saying you're doomed for asking her about her day - you can ask about her day in a way that's more leading, and perhaps sexually charged.
As in "Do anything interesting today?" - more mystique... "How was your day?" just sounds girly to me. Like the kind of texts I get from women when I'm basically bored with them and icing them. Make it playful - not so earnest. "How was your day?" sounds like when small talk gets tiny. You don't want tiny - you want to make an impression.

 

[Reyaj]

So I haven't responded to her at all since her last kissy emoji she sent me. She hasn't texted me either. This is on the backburner as the plate in my other thread is much higher priority.

 

[Reyaj]

Good. should move on and never act like this again. this woman isn't your plate. she probably thinks your desperate and pretty.

Yeah I disagree lol She actually just texted me randomly a few minutes ago "hey buttercup"

Since every text I've written here gets scrutinized I'm going to post back if I ever end up getting a meet with her. I did meet her for a short time about 7 months ago so if I do and she recognizes me I'm doomed anyway lol

 

[JaneGoodallNotes]

Perhaps she may.. part of this experiment is also to prove hypergamy... she thinks I am elite in terms of wealth and stature.

Her: haha sweetie, first I don't need contingency plans in my dating life. Second, you're a person with feelings. I would never make someone a contingency plan. Like I said, I wasn't even going to contact you but at the time things were in the infancy stage with the guy I am seeing. I'd like to meet you but wouldn't respect myself for it.

Her: I will say this, you have my intrigued but not respecting me wanting to see this through makes me wonder if you'd do the same to me if we had a connection.

Thoughts? I'm thinking with some game I could probably get this girl to meet but if she feels strongly about this other dude I'd probably be wasting my time and money. Still I'm all about the experiment and learning....

An experiment in proving hypergamy makes some texts sound worth it. You gain general knowledge, even if it doesn't pay off otherwise. I assume you're also looking for signs of a cheating nature in general, which would "prove" hypergamy more in your experience???
She does seem super aware of cheating boundaries.

 

[Reyaj]

An experiment in proving hypergamy makes some texts sound worth it. You gain general knowledge, even if it doesn't pay off otherwise. I assume you're also looking for signs of a cheating nature in general, which would "prove" hypergamy more in your experience???
She does seem super aware of cheating boundaries.

Definitely.. She is actually suddenly showing more IL.. Let me try and pick up where I left off last its been a few days.

So after she sent that "hey buttercup" text out of nowhere I texted back a while alter and there was some banter back and forth. I then asked her to tell me something random about herself. She told me she took singing lessons.. I asked a couple of questions about it and then she asked me to tell her something random about me... I was out with another girl so I didn't respond.. Less than 45 minutes later she texts me something sarcastic like "thanks for sharing that's wonderful" since I didn't respond.

The next day I texted her
Me: sorry had something unexpected happen last night, glad smoking didn't ruin your voice. I'll have a cigarette every now and again if I'm out drinking. I still play video games that's my random fact lol

6 hours later
Her: I'm really sorry, this day has been crazy!! Hope everything is ok for you. What video games little boy?

50 minutes later
Me: lol funny, mostly sports ones, football, bball

One hour and 40 minutes later
Her: what's your favorite sport?

1 hour and 30 minutes later
Me: baseball how about you

14 minutes later
Her: football

56 Minutes later
Me: season starting next weekend, go 49ers!

28 Minutes later
Her: blah go Chargers!

1 hour and 20 minutes later
Her: Ok so are we going to continue to have conversations that span over hours?

30 minutes later
Me: lol I don't know.. but in person it would be in real time

2 minutes later
Her: I've decided I'm going to meet up with you but unfortunately it won't be until late next week. I have a packed weekend and then heading to Los Angeles for business most of next week.

3 Minutes later
Me: ditto on the packed week, we'll figure something out soon. I love LA, what part you going to be in?

Anyway we trade a few more mundane texts and then she says she looks forward to hearing what I do

I don't respond after this

The next day at 4pm
Her: So what happend, I told you I was willing to meet and you got scared

12 minutes later
Me: Yeah, what if I really end up liking you

9 minutes later
Her: lol Good one! There's no if about it haha j/k

15 minutes later
Me: I like that kind of confidence, we can figure something out when you're back from LA

17 minutes later
Her: oh I definitely have confidence, so does that mean we don't be talking in the meantime?

20 minutes later
Me: We can, I know you said your weekend is busy, I'm headed to San Fran

25 minutes later
Her: it is but I can still text in between if you can or want to. What are you going there for?

Anyway we trade a few more texts today and that was it. I found it interesting that she texted me out of nowhere when I stopped giving her attention. For anyone who thinks my line of "what if I really end up liking you ;" is AFC I think it was quite the opposite and really a litmus test for this experiment. She at first was denying meeting up with me because she is seeing someone... I difused that with the friends suggestion, and now by me interjecting that line I am telling her that there could be potential attraction. She didn't back me off so could be progress.

Again the hot girl in her 20's I've been posting about in my other thread is my main focus so I'll only follow through on this one if my time permits.

 

[JaneGoodallNotes]

.....
Anyway we trade a few more texts today and that was it. I found it interesting that she texted me out of nowhere when I stopped giving her attention. For anyone who thinks my line of "what if I really end up liking you ;" is AFC I think it was quite the opposite and really a litmus test for this experiment. She at first was denying meeting up with me because she is seeing someone... I difused that with the friends suggestion, and now by me interjecting that line I am telling her that there could be potential attraction. She didn't back me off so could be progress.

Ha! Your notes remind me of primatology.

But, science is battle tested thru nitpicky peer review. I'm not sure your experiment proves hypergamy though, since she wasn't really dating this other guy yet. She just said that she couldn't date you while making him a primary focus. Maybe all your texting made her think you were a better deal than him. Do you have evidence that she's really dating him? Or just flirting with both you?

Yeah, I know this might be crap game, and tip your hand in a way that costs you sex. But this seems like an experiment to you rather than a true pursuit. Not that I care, other than I'm kind of interested in the results. I'm most interested in my own sexytimes, not others.

The history of science has people willing to do weird things so they could be sure of truth. Have you ever watched a nature program and wonder about who risks their life traveling to the bottom of the ocean to film a sea slug taking a crap?

 

[Reyaj]

An experiment in proving hypergamy makes some texts sound worth it. You gain general knowledge, even if it doesn't pay off otherwise. I assume you're also looking for signs of a cheating nature in general, which would "prove" hypergamy more in your experience???
She does seem super aware of cheating boundaries.

So basically she thinks I'm wealthy and own a company (long story lol) She's been hitting me up randomly. The challenge here is that I had already met this girl and she ditched me (maybe she didn't think I was attractive). Let me give the background on that and what has developed since.

So about 7 months ago I had matched with this girl on Tinder. We had talked on the phone about 3 times and decided to meet for drinks. So when I met her in the place she came up to me and was like did you get my text just now? I'm sorry my stomach is messed up I don't know if I can stay long blah blah blah I immediately told her don't worry we can leave now and she is like are you sure blah blah blah.. gives me a big hug and is all apologetic but then basically ghosts me... That's short story there

Now here's what's so funny.... The other day I texted her saying that I had a blind date and need advice on an excuse to get out of it... She said to fake that I ate something and my stomach hurt lol... I then mentioned getting together and she said she was asking me about my schedule. I then said something like "what if I end up liking you " She said "there is no if "

It will just come down to if I have the ballz to meet her as I am a little scared she will recognize me.