sylvester the cat
Master Don Juan
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once you're finished in your head it really won't matter. you'll have better things to think about. now that's alpha.switch7 said:
Trouble on the horizon....
- Thread starter switch7
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Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
The only way to be alpha is to be coldly detached. Any, and I mean ANY conversation will be turned against you. You will find yourself justifying yourself to her.
Just state your reasons very simply and in a detached way (even if you're dying inside to let it all out). I usually recommend stating the most important reasons so that she fully understands that it was her own behavior that changed your heart toward her.
Be a rock, immovable. Emotional investment is the soft white underbelly that she will bite into and rip you apart with if you expose it.
So for me, the "call out" is a very sparse, simple statement (notice I don't say "explanation", but rather, statement) of the behavior you disapprove of, and then a declaration that the relationship isn't what I'm looking for, it's (not good for me). A nice flipping of the script.
Cold detachment. Think of yourself as the king of your own kingdom and that you only allow quality people into your life, people who edify you and your kingdom. You have the say as to who stays and who goes. This will help you to maintain perspective. You're the male, you are the one who decides who and what is allowed into your life and who and what is not.
Engage her in deep conversation and you'll regret it. Almost all women know how to turn things around on a man till he has no idea under the sun what is happening nor how to respond.
You are in command. Take care of business like a cold shark. Why? Because trust me, women are ONLY concerned about their MASSIVE egos and are colder sharks that you can ever be. When I say a cold shark, I don't mean a mean demeanor. I just mean a matter-of-fact statement and a ruthless refusal to engage in conversation.
Conversation = your balls in her vice. 100% of the time. Statement of intent without deep conversation = balls intact and her internal hamster spinning like mad.
Just state your reasons very simply and in a detached way (even if you're dying inside to let it all out). I usually recommend stating the most important reasons so that she fully understands that it was her own behavior that changed your heart toward her.
Be a rock, immovable. Emotional investment is the soft white underbelly that she will bite into and rip you apart with if you expose it.
So for me, the "call out" is a very sparse, simple statement (notice I don't say "explanation", but rather, statement) of the behavior you disapprove of, and then a declaration that the relationship isn't what I'm looking for, it's (not good for me). A nice flipping of the script.
Cold detachment. Think of yourself as the king of your own kingdom and that you only allow quality people into your life, people who edify you and your kingdom. You have the say as to who stays and who goes. This will help you to maintain perspective. You're the male, you are the one who decides who and what is allowed into your life and who and what is not.
Engage her in deep conversation and you'll regret it. Almost all women know how to turn things around on a man till he has no idea under the sun what is happening nor how to respond.
You are in command. Take care of business like a cold shark. Why? Because trust me, women are ONLY concerned about their MASSIVE egos and are colder sharks that you can ever be. When I say a cold shark, I don't mean a mean demeanor. I just mean a matter-of-fact statement and a ruthless refusal to engage in conversation.
Conversation = your balls in her vice. 100% of the time. Statement of intent without deep conversation = balls intact and her internal hamster spinning like mad.
I'm always right.switch7 said:
Never go out of your way to dump a girl in person.
Never put yourself in a possible confrontational situation when you are dumping a girl.
The easiest way is to do it through text.
Don't screw around with a long ass text.
Be brief and to the point telling her that it's over in your own words of your choosing.
Send the text and don't argue with her after you send it if she replies back.
Just ignore any other replies that come back.
It's very easy to do.
Any arguing that you do she will put all the blame on you.
You don't need that.
Get to the point and end it.
Great advice from the guys above.
You do it by text. BUT- and it's an important detail- you are not finishing it, you are informing her that it's finished.
I would go along the lines of:
Hi *name*, I hope you're good.
I've been thinking things over recently. Unfortunately I feel like this isn't working and I get the impression you feel the same. With this in mind I think it's best we call it a day. Thanks for some great times, and I wish you and *kids name* all the best. Take care.
*your name*
It's softer than what some of the guys might suggest but here's my reasoning:
"I've been thinking things over recently"- her cue to brace herself for the rest of the message. Shows it wasn't a rushed/emotional decision/reaction to her behavior. She may even doubt whether she was the one to begin this whole process.
"Unfortunately"- goddamnit you so wanted that glorious white wedding but fate wouldn't have it *shakes fist at sky* (it's the fault of circumstance not you)
"I feel"- a woman's way of thinking. Make her empathise with you. You can't help your feelings, right?
"I get the impression you may feel the same way." Call her out on her behavior and lay some blame at her door. Even if she doesn't feel that way she will be able to understand that she has given you that impression and it's turned you off.
"best WE call it a day"- you're both making this decision together.
Finish on a kind note as it'll avoid riling her and the subsequent drama.
You've laid some of the blame on 'fortune', some on her. You've been dignified. You've informed her of the decision with no option to negotiate. You then give her no more contact.
I've personally found this method to be really good for keeping women sweet enough that after some time you can grab a beer and bang them with no hard feelings.
(I do some copywriting work and am used to targeted, impactful language hence what my seem like over-thinking to some)
Just one point on this specifically:switch7 said:
You do it by text. BUT- and it's an important detail- you are not finishing it, you are informing her that it's finished.
I would go along the lines of:
Hi *name*, I hope you're good.
I've been thinking things over recently. Unfortunately I feel like this isn't working and I get the impression you feel the same. With this in mind I think it's best we call it a day. Thanks for some great times, and I wish you and *kids name* all the best. Take care.
*your name*
It's softer than what some of the guys might suggest but here's my reasoning:
"I've been thinking things over recently"- her cue to brace herself for the rest of the message. Shows it wasn't a rushed/emotional decision/reaction to her behavior. She may even doubt whether she was the one to begin this whole process.
"Unfortunately"- goddamnit you so wanted that glorious white wedding but fate wouldn't have it *shakes fist at sky* (it's the fault of circumstance not you)
"I feel"- a woman's way of thinking. Make her empathise with you. You can't help your feelings, right?
"I get the impression you may feel the same way." Call her out on her behavior and lay some blame at her door. Even if she doesn't feel that way she will be able to understand that she has given you that impression and it's turned you off.
"best WE call it a day"- you're both making this decision together.
Finish on a kind note as it'll avoid riling her and the subsequent drama.
You've laid some of the blame on 'fortune', some on her. You've been dignified. You've informed her of the decision with no option to negotiate. You then give her no more contact.
I've personally found this method to be really good for keeping women sweet enough that after some time you can grab a beer and bang them with no hard feelings.
(I do some copywriting work and am used to targeted, impactful language hence what my seem like over-thinking to some)