Toxic women has my head jammed. I’m going in circles and I need help.

[TheManMasenko]

My last relationship has me wondering about women as a whole. This women had showcased high interest in me and made everything easy for me to get the V.

But it went downhill completely after I kicked her out my car because she didn’t show me her phone (She went through my phone 15 minutes prior to this event).

We dated for an additional 3 weeks after the situation then she broke up with me for something minor (I added women on my socials and ghosted her since I was upset about everything).

Wether right or wrong, I’m still upset about the situation. My “game” (knowledge of women) has been shaken entirely.

All opinions I received about the situation are mixed. Some say I was completely in the wrong. Others say, I acted plausible.

I feel I was acting beta, since I let this women control me and caused me to be mentally weak.

I could’ve done better by being stoic. But at the same time…seeing your ex with another man quickly after break up just left me bitter (I know women plan breaks up ahead of time).

Its upsetting to believe she would’ve done that, because I thought her character was better than that.

I’m going in circles about this entire thing, you guys say move on. But we have classes together.

Recently, she told her classmate “she learned her lesson” with dealing with people like me. Like wtf, I didn’t do anything crazy. But I’m butchered

I’m just thinking about staying down till next semester. This ***** has me in a crazy atmosphere when Im near her.

I feel she cheated on me behind my back and without proof or anything, I’m urged to **** up the new guy (since I did see him).

I’m over her as a person, but the events..just don’t make sense. It’s just very upsetting. How could be done like that? I guess nice guys finish last?

I want to give women a good try, but if they do me like this again. I don’t think I’m going to view them the same every again.

My faith in women is declining, I need help.

 

[MtmVaott]

No she is right to say she learned her lesson.
You expected her to show you her phone after you showed her yours. But you would have needed to tell her that before you showed her yours. What you did was kicking her out for saying no to you. But she isn't obliged to do things just because you expect her to do it.
After that she will try to find someone who is more respectful to her and especially more confident.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You were in a relationship with a trash bag. You picked wrong, and she was definitely hiding things.

Men, go through your girls phone before you agree to exclusivity. Not after. By then it is too late!!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why are you asking to see her phone?

The reason you end up in these relationships is because you enjoy this type of drama as much as they do. Otherwise you wouldn't be acting the way you do to create it.

The bottom line is your weakness and lack of masculinity in your interactions with her drove her away.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

You both acted childish. Neither of you should be in a relationship until you are ready. You are both clearly not ready. Not to mention you are 21, you should be having a blast, not committing.

Continue dating or better yet focus on bigger things.


Modern Man Advise

 

[Epimanes]

Did she ask to see your phone?... or did you offer it up expecting her to just offer up hers?

Live by the motto... "make my d!ck hard not my life!" And be frank with her about it.... of she's not on board... then fvkn next her... don't put up with her ****... cuz if you do, she will keep doing it or string you along til she finds someone she can respect.

Obviously if your in a relationship you should support her and show her love that she needs.... but she has to respect and acknowledge your needs also.... she should also have higher interest in you and display it....

If she's behaving like your trash under her feet.. flog her man....it won't get better. Trust me. Only treat her like your queen after she treats you like her king. Only then does she deserve it.

Epi

 

[Bokanovsky]

A story typically has a beginning, middle and end. Throwing out sentences in random order and hoping that we're somehow able to figure out WTF you are talking about is unrealistic.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I kicked her out my car because she didn’t show me her phone (She went through my phone 15 minutes prior to this event).

We dated for an additional 3 weeks after the situation

I’m still upset about the situation.

I was acting beta

I’m going in circles about this entire thing

Hi bro. Your mistakes in bold. No worries, you are still young. We are always learning. Because of your age, dont give girls exclusivity unless she´s a virgin; just spin Plates.

 

[Sleeperhead]

My last relationship has me wondering about women as a whole. This women had showcased high interest in me and made everything easy for me to get the V.

But it went downhill completely after I kicked her out my car because she didn’t show me her phone (She went through my phone 15 minutes prior to this event).

We dated for an additional 3 weeks after the situation then she broke up with me for something minor (I added women on my socials and ghosted her since I was upset about everything).

Wether right or wrong, I’m still upset about the situation. My “game” (knowledge of women) has been shaken entirely.

All opinions I received about the situation are mixed. Some say I was completely in the wrong. Others say, I acted plausible.

I feel I was acting beta, since I let this women control me and caused me to be mentally weak.

I could’ve done better by being stoic. But at the same time…seeing your ex with another man quickly after break up just left me bitter (I know women plan breaks up ahead of time).

Its upsetting to believe she would’ve done that, because I thought her character was better than that.

I’m going in circles about this entire thing, you guys say move on. But we have classes together.

Recently, she told her classmate “she learned her lesson” with dealing with people like me. Like wtf, I didn’t do anything crazy. But I’m butchered

I’m just thinking about staying down till next semester. This ***** has me in a crazy atmosphere when Im near her.

I feel she cheated on me behind my back and without proof or anything, I’m urged to **** up the new guy (since I did see him).

I’m over her as a person, but the events..just don’t make sense. It’s just very upsetting. How could be done like that? I guess nice guys finish last?

I want to give women a good try, but if they do me like this again. I don’t think I’m going to view them the same every again.

My faith in women is declining, I need help.

You kicked a girl out of your car because she didn't show you her phone. This is good. If she has nothing to hide then she should show you her phone, right, perfectly reasonable thing to ask your girlfriend, imo.

Where you ****ed up was not walking away. Women don't listen to reason and logic, they listen to their emotions. You have to keep them in line with an iron grip, any transgression must be dealt with, and not in a weak beta ***** way like ghosting her.

You kick her out the car, and you don't back down. She's done, she's untrustworthy.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

My last relationship has me wondering about women as a whole. This women had showcased high interest in me and made everything easy for me to get the V.

But it went downhill completely after I kicked her out my car because she didn’t show me her phone (She went through my phone 15 minutes prior to this event).

We dated for an additional 3 weeks after the situation then she broke up with me for something minor (I added women on my socials and ghosted her since I was upset about everything).

Wether right or wrong, I’m still upset about the situation. My “game” (knowledge of women) has been shaken entirely.

All opinions I received about the situation are mixed. Some say I was completely in the wrong. Others say, I acted plausible.

I feel I was acting beta, since I let this women control me and caused me to be mentally weak.

I could’ve done better by being stoic. But at the same time…seeing your ex with another man quickly after break up just left me bitter (I know women plan breaks up ahead of time).

Its upsetting to believe she would’ve done that, because I thought her character was better than that.

I’m going in circles about this entire thing, you guys say move on. But we have classes together.

Recently, she told her classmate “she learned her lesson” with dealing with people like me. Like wtf, I didn’t do anything crazy. But I’m butchered

I’m just thinking about staying down till next semester. This ***** has me in a crazy atmosphere when Im near her.

I feel she cheated on me behind my back and without proof or anything, I’m urged to **** up the new guy (since I did see him).

I’m over her as a person, but the events..just don’t make sense. It’s just very upsetting. How could be done like that? I guess nice guys finish last?

I want to give women a good try, but if they do me like this again. I don’t think I’m going to view them the same every again.

My faith in women is declining, I need help.

The reason this relationship rustled your jimmies is because you identified with it so much. People make mistakes, you mistook her for someone of better character, now you learned that was wrong, why is that something to be upset about? You just saved yourself so much time and frustration. Admit to yourself you chose poorly and be pickier next time, qualify more.

When a woman dumps you, you should be happy to see her go since she's going after what she wants and you're getting some freedoms back. You want her to be happy, even if that means leaving you, otherwise you're just a codependent leech that deserves trash women.

Don't go through your woman's phone lol you should never be so insecure to do something like that, and if a woman ever wants to look through yours that should be a major red flag. It's a deal breaker for me personally, if she can't trust me I'm not interested.

Best thing you can do is focus on something you're passionate about and really obsess over it until she is not worth thinking about. At the same time network, find interesting people and build some solid connections, talk to tons of women to remind yourself of the endless options out there.

A woman should have to convince you into something exclusive, not the other way around. You should be challenging yourself so much with your personal endeavors that women are effortless by comparison and are never able to get under your skin. And you should be talking to so many women that committing to just one seems like a bad idea (so you'll naturally look for high quality). If they step over a line you simply dismiss them and focus on someone more worthy. They are meant to be a joy, not a burden.

Dating and relationships are like poker, you take a bet and let the chips fall where they may. Of course you can lose the bet, there's no option that doesn't have that risk. There is absolutely no reason to identify with the outcome. Learn from it and move on. Focus on what's in your control, get jacked, study hard, meet new people, and grow so much that you're grateful for what happened and naturally feel even thinking about her is a waste of your time.

 

[Sleeperhead]

The reason this relationship rustled your jimmies is because you identified with it so much. People make mistakes, you mistook her for someone of better character, now you learned that was wrong, why is that something to be upset about? You just saved yourself so much time and frustration. Admit to yourself you chose poorly and be pickier next time, qualify more.

When a woman dumps you, you should be happy to see her go since she's going after what she wants and you're getting some freedoms back. You want her to be happy, even if that means leaving you, otherwise you're just a codependent leech that deserves trash women.

Don't go through your woman's phone lol you should never be so insecure to do something like that, and if a woman ever wants to look through yours that should be a major red flag. It's a deal breaker for me personally, if she can't trust me I'm not interested.

Best thing you can do is focus on something you're passionate about and really obsess over it until she is not worth thinking about. At the same time network, find interesting people and build some solid connections, talk to tons of women to remind yourself of the endless options out there.

A woman should have to convince you into something exclusive, not the other way around. You should be challenging yourself so much with your personal endeavors that women are effortless by comparison and are never able to get under your skin. And you should be talking to so many women that committing to just one seems like a bad idea (so you'll naturally look for high quality). If they step over a line you simply dismiss them and focus on someone more worthy. They are meant to be a joy, not a burden.

Dating and relationships are like poker, you take a bet and let the chips fall where they may. Of course you can lose the bet, there's no option that doesn't have that risk. There is absolutely no reason to identify with the outcome. Learn from it and move on. Focus on what's in your control, get jacked, study hard, meet new people, and grow so much that you're grateful for what happened and naturally feel even thinking about her is a waste of your time.

Trash women = hottest women. The submissive good girl housewife is a 6/10

You want what you want, and maybe you will find better women and all is good, but maybe there is something different about a particular girl that you like and you want it and nothing else will do. If you dismiss her without setting boundaries you will lose out on the opportunity to make her yours.

You should not be happy that is girl is getting what she wants, she's acted disrespectful and bang out of order, she's slagging you off to her friends, you can act all high and mighty, you don't reward bad behaviour otherwise you're just a mug. Girls will sadistically torture weak guys. Expect more of this in the coming weeks and see if you can shrug it off without losing self esteem.

 

[Barrister]

OP,

You are fine. You will find that as you age, and especially throughout your 20s, your view of women/relationships will go through a number of dramatic shifts. This will only be expedited if you stay on SS and learn how to identify problem traits that women typically have. If you stick it out here, you will be light years ahead of where I was at a similar age. What you are feeling is something that probably every man in his early 20s (including myself) went through. It is part of the maturation process as a man.

As far as getting over her, it is going to take some time. I encourage you to look at the No Contact post at the top of the forum list and post as needed. The other things you need to do are shift your focus to bettering yourself. Given your mention of a "semester" it sounds like you are at a university. Focus on your work and your social circle. You also have access to endless other women you can be dating/banging that are around your own age. Going out on a date wouldn't hurt you at all just so your brain (and also your c0ck) remembers that other women outside of this one exist. Then, of course, get in the gym and set some fitness goals for yourself and improve yourself there. This does not necessarily help you get women, but it makes you feel good about yourself as you get in better shape.

Good luck, brother.

 

[jaymbrs]

21 is the new 16. You have a long life of dating women and you will learn and grow.

 

[TheManMasenko]

Appreciate all the messages, this forum is a blessing and I’m grateful for everyone’s knowledge and input. Sosuave for life.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Trash women = hottest women. The submissive good girl housewife is a 6/10

That's a dangerous oversimplification. On average I'd agree that a girl with sub par looks has to offer more things to get the attention of men, but there are plenty of hot girls that aren't trash.

You want what you want, and maybe you will find better women and all is good, but maybe there is something different about a particular girl that you like and you want it and nothing else will do. If you dismiss her without setting boundaries you will lose out on the opportunity to make her yours.

Sure you can compromise your self-respect to keep a hotter woman, but I'm of the opinion that it's not necessary. You can simply find a hot woman that doesn't require that. And you can work on yourself to the point that you're incredibly flexible in a relationship, allowing you to easily date all sorts of crazy hotness.

You should not be happy that is girl is getting what she wants, she's acted disrespectful and bang out of order, she's slagging you off to her friends, you can act all high and mighty, you don't reward bad behaviour otherwise you're just a mug. Girls will sadistically torture weak guys. Expect more of this in the coming weeks and see if you can shrug it off without losing self esteem.

Her behavior may influence you, but it should never be something that upsets you or that you revolve around. You should never feel like you're fighting your girl for control in the relationship. She's your teammate, not your dog.

Girls mainly reflect your energy. All the women in my life are sweet to me. They know that if they're ever bitter I simply lose interest. I've never said this directly, I've never flexed on them (at least not intentionally), and I've never gotten mad at them.

When I sense that a woman or pretty much anything in my life irritates me, I take it as an indication that I'm not working hard enough on inner game. When the inner game is good, when life is full of enjoyable stimulation, when goals are routinely met, I'm impossible to upset. I believe this is true for everyone.

You can't control other people like your posts imply, going through her phone is meaningless. If you don't trust her like that then why are you with her?

 

[Sleeperhead]

That's a dangerous oversimplification. On average I'd agree that a girl with sub par looks has to offer more things to get the attention of men, but there are plenty of hot girls that aren't trash.


Sure you can compromise your self-respect to keep a hotter woman, but I'm of the opinion that it's not necessary. You can simply find a hot woman that doesn't require that. And you can work on yourself to the point that you're incredibly flexible in a relationship, allowing you to easily date all sorts of crazy hotness.


Her behavior may influence you, but it should never be something that upsets you or that you revolve around. You should never feel like you're fighting your girl for control in the relationship. She's your teammate, not your dog.

Girls mainly reflect your energy. All the women in my life are sweet to me. They know that if they're ever bitter I simply lose interest. I've never said this directly, I've never flexed on them (at least not intentionally), and I've never gotten mad at them.

When I sense that a woman or pretty much anything in my life irritates me, I take it as an indication that I'm not working hard enough on inner game. When the inner game is good, when life is full of enjoyable stimulation, when goals are routinely met, I'm impossible to upset. I believe this is true for everyone.

You can't control other people like your posts imply, going through her phone is meaningless. If you don't trust her like that then why are you with her?

Personally, I want the hottest girl I can get my hands on, and she has to be compatible with me too, there aren't millions of girls out there like this that I can pick up at the drop of a hat.

I don't want to share her, with any other guys. I will set boundaries and be prepared to withdraw my attention from her if she doesn't comply. I'm not trying to control women, its simple rules they have to follow for me to safely invest my love in her.

I cannot help but get annoyed with women sometimes, and im going to make sure that she knows shes annoyed me. I have a wild temper sometimes, and I cannot tolerate disrespect. I really don't think that staying silent is the way. From their perspective either they think that you don't care about whatever it is they are doing wrong and they are fine to continue doing it, or that you don't have the balls to confront them.

Hypothetical situation: Your girl flirts with another guy in your presence. You can't not confront her about this, its disrespectful to you. Other people will see you and think you're weak. Any confrontation is backed up by emotional withdrawal. They sense it and it gives them anxiety and thats the only language they speak, emotions.

Now, I would never fully trust a woman because in the past when I did that they betrayed me. That's fine though I wasn't the best I could be when that happened, I take responsibility. For me a relationship is bound together by attraction, fun, compatibility, family goals, etc. You really would have to be in denial or unaware of female nature to trust them. You can trust them if they prove themselves trustworthy, but at the back of your mind you have to think that if you are off your game the possibility of her straying is possible, and this is universal to all women, all women have the capacity to cheat.

I wouldn't go through a woman's phone without reason. They are little sneaks, they get off on it. If I caught wind of something then im not going to slink away with my tail between my legs.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Personally, I want the hottest girl I can get my hands on, and she has to be compatible with me too, there aren't millions of girls out there like this that I can pick up at the drop of a hat.

Everyone wants a hot compatible girl lol. And there are millions, they're just not right outside your door. You have to explore and find them. In a city of five million there are plenty for one man. And if that's not enough for you, then that speaks more about you than them.

I cannot help but get annoyed with women sometimes, and im going to make sure that she knows shes annoyed me. I have a wild temper sometimes, and I cannot tolerate disrespect.

You sound like a chick. If you don't know how to manage your emotions how can you be expected to manage another person's?

Other people will see you and think you're weak.

No this is your projection of a desire for social validation. What other people think is none of you're business, and as long as your happy who cares?

Any confrontation is backed up by emotional withdrawal. They sense it and it gives them anxiety and thats the only language they speak, emotions.

This is for the first few months of dating but not for LTR imo, unless you want a spastic anxious woman for a partner. She'll eventually crack or leave if you have nothing more to offer.

You really would have to be in denial or unaware of female nature to trust them. You can trust them if they prove themselves trustworthy, but at the back of your mind you have to think that if you are off your game the possibility of her straying is possible, and this is universal to all women, all women have the capacity to cheat.

This contradicts what you said earlier, that you withdraw emotionally when they mess up. So you withdraw but also don't trust them and try to control them? Which is it?

Any relationship that isn't toxic is built on trust. If you can't trust a woman to be faithful to you, then she's clearly not yours and trying to strap her down just screams that you have little to no other options. It betrays a deep sense of insecurity.

I wouldn't go through a woman's phone without reason. They are little sneaks, they get off on it. If I caught wind of something then im not going to slink away with my tail between my legs.

Maybe the women you date. Lol it's not 'slinking away', it's choosing to give your attention to someone more worthwhile. Toxic women get off on attention, doesn't matter if it's good or bad. By getting mad at them you're just signaling that they have emotional control over you, that they can upset you easily. They get an ego boost either way, that's why you just avoid them lol.

I really don't have the time to go through my girls phone lol I would leave the relationship long before I ever got to that point. Imo it's an extremely pathetic thing to spend your time doing. You really think that's a sign of a healthy relationship? If you can't trust her than leave her. If you can't trust any woman then work on yourself until you have more confidence and can qualify for quality women.

 

[Knight of Roses]

Toxic women = Hottest women.

This is why I only date strippers and emotionally damaged women with daddy issues. However the caveat is that their emotions are in roller coaster and will constantly change. It’s something you must accept. If you can’t deal with that, then date women with a more stable household upbringing.

Additonally, why would you want to see her phone? Who cares? You shouldn’t care too much about exclusiveness with her anyways. You should be out having fun.

 

[Slowhandluke]

Additonally, why would you want to see her phone? Who cares? You shouldn’t care too much about exclusiveness with her anyways. You should be out having fun.

There was no trust... he shouldn't have taken this relationship seriously, but for some reason, he did and now is sad that it has ended. Typical young person issues.. Move on. The "relationship" was just a fling.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

I realized that the minute you said you had your "head jammed" you had lost the game.

feel I was acting beta, since I let this women control me and caused me to be mentally weak

Its ok to feel bad about this, actually, Its good that you feel bad about this because its your only hope of not repeating this

Recently, she told her classmate “she learned her lesson” with dealing with people like me. Like wtf, I didn’t do anything crazy. But I’m butchered

Stix 'N stonez bro.
shake it off , I know its tough I've felt how you felt before and the feeling is crushing. You feel like everything is your fault and you could have done better , but that couldn't be any further from the truth, you just gotta take the sting


Don't try to hype yourself into not feeling bad about this, accept your feelings and use that energy to guide you
From now on act like you would turn to stone if you looked into her eyes, you are also deaf to her voice.