Too much rejection

[Pandora]

Honestly I'm going to go against the grain here and say that the issue is texting. Texting women is useless to build attraction, or even rapport. Game her and ask the girl out in person. THEN ask for a number just in case.

In reality I have an almost 100% success rate with getting dates. On Tinder/Social media/whatever, I'm lucky if I get 50%. Just do it all in person.

I agree man. Texting is the worst mode of communication for men. Absolute worst. You can not communicate ANY non verbal cues. They cant even look at your face to see if you are attractive and confident while you speak to them. Texting is perfect for women because it is passive aggressive and allows you to play mind games and not text back. Texting is one of the main things that is screwing up dating for both sexes. I consistently have women get physical and even have sex with me in real life, but play super hard to get and ignore me over text. Over text they can deny their attraction for me, but when they see me its like a switch comes on and they cant help themselves. The more you text the more you will fall into their trap. Text as little as possible. This is something i recently learned the hard way. Unfortunately as dating becomes more impersonal, we all have to text to some degree.

 

[Pandora]

OP,

Honestly what you're experiencing here is pretty common. Not really anything wrong with your vibe or what you said to her but most girls will flake out like this. You just have to keep getting more numbers and eventually you'll find a girl who really eats it up. There was a post done on this site a long time ago by a guy who's name I can't even remember who talked about finding the right girl for you is really about running all the different potential women you meet through "the machine", i,.e. you put enough inputs into the machine, eventually you'll get what you want popping out on the other end. Don't flap around in the wind and tailor your outreach specifically to what you think each girl you are trying to pickup wants. You've gotta tailor your game to what makes you happy and to how you feel best about it. If it's not what some girls like, then f*ck em. This approach will take longer to find a girl that really likes you and who is right for you, but in the end when you finally get her you'll know you've got a woman who really likes YOU, not some bullsh*t act or technique you used on her based on the type of vibe she was giving off.

For example, I'm the kind of guy who looks for an LTR. When it comes to women and sex I am happiest when i'm in a relationship with someone. Casual sex, one night stands and the bar scene leave me filling empty and very depressed. Therefore, I tailor my game to this approach. Sure, any guy can learn game and go get laid after hitting on women at a bar, but remember that women will f*ck guys not necessarily because they like THEM. There's all other types of things at play there. It's SO SO important to make sure that the woman you're with actually LIKES YOU.

For example, after a first date I will NEVER text her first or call her until she reaches back out. This ensures that the woman I had the first date with actually wants to see ME again; that she actually has interest in me, rather than PUA tactics that I could use after the first date to reach back out to her to get her interest level to keep raising.

Again, this is for an LTR. Casual sex and just getting laid are a completely different story, but my point is I do experience a-lot of flakiness from women and you shouldn't take it personally.

This is gold man. There is no way around it. Dating is a numbers game!!! As men we have to constantly remind ourselves of this. The OP did nothing wrong. The cards were stacked against him from the jump. First he was texting a girl that has unlimited options. Well thats a recipe for disaster. Keep meeting girls in real life OP and you will eventually find one that is interested in you and that is cute. Also remember girls reject guys for trivial capricious reasons. So try not to take it personal ( easier said than done). Imagine having almost limitless options combined with a wishy washy indecisive personality. This is the modern dating scene. It sucks

 

[sazc]

A wise POF date once told me that you dont want to text too much before you actually meet because it creates this 'fantasy version' of the other person in your mind. I realized that he was right on the money. Keep convo light, no chasing, maybe look for a common interest, build a little rapport. Get the number, set up a date, chat very briefly citing work or school keeping you busy but looking forward to getting to know you on xxday and stay as dark as possible.

I agree with the philosophy that, you need to ask them out on a specific date and time that works for you. If they cant make that time, but are interested, I garan-fvckin-tee it that they will counter with a time/date back. If they say no and dont counter with a time date, there's no need to even reply to that text. Let the convo drop - she will be left wondering "why didnt he reply?" She may even text at a later date to see "how you are" or "if you are free for that date yet". If you dont hear from her, dont worry about it, she wasnt interested and you wont be wasting your time.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

ive always found it to work best like this,

me: coffee at ______ 12pm Tuesday,
her: ok cool see you then spunk

not like this
me: hey um I was wondering if you would like to catch up for coffee this week sometime if your free?
her: ive been pretty busy lately maybe Friday?
me: awesome see you then

she is instantly in control and will bend you over without the petroleum jelly,

if she is flaky!
me: thankyou for showing me the lack of respect on your part, I wont tolerate that bull**** you either want to date or not
if not kick rocks
her: sorry _____came up and I couldn't make it. I really am interested in you can we please organise another date? perhaps Wednesday?
me: im busy Wednesday ill see you Tuesday.

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

A wise POF date once told me that you dont want to text too much before you actually meet because it creates this 'fantasy version' of the other person in your mind. I realized that he was right on the money. Keep convo light, no chasing, maybe look for a common interest, build a little rapport. Get the number, set up a date, chat very briefly citing work or school keeping you busy but looking forward to getting to know you on xxday and stay as dark as possible.


that's true but at the same time what a dumb asss lol, it would be like revealing your battle strategy, tell me did you end up dumping him, or did you tell him he was a nice guy? lol

 

[Slash Dolo]

I agree man. Texting is the worst mode of communication for men. Absolute worst. You can not communicate ANY non verbal cues. They cant even look at your face to see if you are attractive and confident while you speak to them. Texting is perfect for women because it is passive aggressive and allows you to play mind games and not text back. Texting is one of the main things that is screwing up dating for both sexes. I consistently have women get physical and even have sex with me in real life, but play super hard to get and ignore me over text. Over text they can deny their attraction for me, but when they see me its like a switch comes on and they cant help themselves. The more you text the more you will fall into their trap. Text as little as possible. This is something i recently learned the hard way. Unfortunately as dating becomes more impersonal, we all have to text to some degree.

Agree 100%.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

In my opinion there's no such thing as "too much" rejection. EMBRACE rejection and failure. This is how DJs are made.

Save the wit and charm for the face-to-face meetup and be specific with day, time, and place when inviting them to meet you. I never ask them when they're free or what their schedule looks like.

And you had extensive plans, including tickets to a sporting event and she flakes at the last second. GF's found something else for her to do, what do you do?

 

[RangerMIke]

What's your schedule like sounds like corey wayne faggotry.....

I agree. Never do this with a woman you first meet and want to take out. You miss out on a chance to gauge her interest level. You decide what you want to do and when, then invite her along. If after you've fvcked her a few times you want to do stuff like this in the interest of logistics, then it's okay.

 

[Pandora]

Strongly disagree.

After reading the Roosh guide to texting that you posted i see where you are coming from. That is a good post. I will start implementing those rules and see what it does. But i am curious as to why you disagree that it is a bad way of communication?

 

[Atom Smasher]

What works for me (in online game) is building up a refined and highly desirable image of myself in her mind. There's no way to teach this stuff... I do have a way with words and have had lots of practice. I make sure to implant a couple of "secrets" that are just between me and her. This is extremely important as it makes her feel close to me.

You can touch all the right places while texting and cause her to fantasize madly about you, the ultimate fantasy being her speculation, "Could he be "the one"?".

When you decide you want to meet, you now need to mitigate the problem of her seeing you in-person and having to fall in love all over again. I usually plant that very idea in her, well before meeting. I'll say that I don't like writing so much because people tend to strongly bond on certain levels in writing, and it's human nature to fill in the blanks with idealized qualities. She will internally agree that she has bonded with you.

I express concern about meeting and being disappointed because we have idealized ideas ofeach other. What this in fact does (at least in my experience) is to majorly neutralize the "fall in love all over again" phenomenon because it makes her internally agree that we both need to put aside our preconceived idealizations and accept the person for who they are, and that person is likely to be way better than what we "think" is ideal.

I sometimes talk about how most people usually have idealized expectations of a "mate", but sometimes we find someone who doesn't fit that preconceived template but who is in fact infinitely better than anything we could have imagined.

All of this Atom Smashing excites her romantic side and makes her very accepting of you are when she first meets you. It essentially greatly neutralizes that initial adjustment when meeting someone new.

This may go against a man's intuition, but it works very well for me.

Just like in painting a car, spectacular results are all in the prep work.

 

[BeTheChange]

Simple advice.

Maintain your self respect but remove your ego. Understand that rejection is inescapable. Therefore, diversify. How do you achieve this? By spinning plates. There is no way around it. You want to be in a position where if one girl cancels you can effortlessly slot another chick into her place.

How do you build up such a portfolio of women? Constant and frequent rejection. This is especially the case if you are targeting the hotter end of the market. I love rejection because it drives me forward.

Put yourself in a position where you are meeting women consistently, whether through online, day game, social circle, hobbies or nights out. Ideally you should be having an enjoyable time while you're meeting women. Kill two bird with one stone. I'm not averse to picking women up on the tube to work. Any place, any time is an opportunity.

Also don't get rid of girls prematurely. I've had plates who aired me initially, who I fvcked two or three months later. If they aren't on it, move on and try again later. Who cares. You'll have so many numbers it won't matter. And whatsapp is great for facilitating this kind of efficient, streamless conversations.

Another tip: Mute notifications on your whatsapp conversations and if possible purchase whatsapp on a different number to your usual number. It just means that if women want to call you they have to do it from within the app (and you can remove app notifications). Avoids a scenario where another girl would notice texts/calls from one of your other plates.

You don't get to an impeccable roster of chicks without experiencing rejection. Anyone who has experienced lasting success will tell you the same thing.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Texting is like a power tool in the workshop. Some men can handle it with respect and finesse and do great things with it while for others (the majority) it's extremely dangerous and will ruin what you're working on.

 

[marmel75]

I guess you make a really good point there. Brad Pitt rule....Thanks!

Now, is there anything that can be done to make counter offers more likely to occur?

This goes against EVERYTHING taught here, but I've found I had far fewer flakes/date rejections/ghostings, etc when actually chatted the chicks up for a day or two via text...it actually started out happening because I got to a point where I had gotten so many numbers and dates lined up, I had no free time for a week or more at times...so I started texting some of the newer chicks for a few days before asking them out...not like all day long, maybe 5-6 texts throughout the day, then I'd ask them when they were free and set up the date....sometimes I'd make the excuse I didn't know my schedule til I went in Monday and I'd hit them up then and we'd set something up. And as a test I would text them randomly up until the day of the date...and guess what?

I found I almost NEVER got flaked on or ghosted doing this...I am not advocating for 24-7 texting sessions with chicks for a week, but I don't see anything wrong with a few back and forth texts here and there...as long as you aren't a terrible texter, which you don't seem to be...I'd maybe no do the "Laurreennn!" thing, but just try and say interesting stuff and pique their curiosity....