too good looking?

[Nighthawk]

There's a big difference between 'good-looking' and 'sexy.' If you look like a hunk but can't channel your mojo, women will sniff about a bit then lose interest.

I reckon I'm reasonably good-looking - see profile pic if you're curious - but the reason I've had a lot of success with women is because they thought I was sexy. Some have stated that very distinction.

To answer the original poster's dilemma, your looks are getting you the interview, but perhaps you need to work on your charm to seal the deal.

 

[The Juan and only]

This is the stupidest thread I've ever seen. Why it's part of the archive I will never know.

Too attractive to get women? wtf are you smoking?

If it really is a problem then there are many many many ways to make yourself less attractive - a bad haircut for example.

 

[KillaCam]

Well..without going off on a tangent, being incredibly good looking can be a disadvantage, assuming you don't have social skills down-pat. Looks are a big part of the equation, but not all of it.

Ben, a good mate of mine, is a naturally good-looking guy. He's school hockey captain, dark haired, darkish skin for a white guy, and has a pretty wicked 5 o'clock shadow. But up until last year he had 0 skills with females, nadda, ziltch, zero. A lot of girls were highly intimidated by his looks, so it was a huge rarity that they would initiate conversation themselves. Combine that with Ben never approaching, being awfully shy, and not able to counter-act his looks with a magnet-like personality, he really struggled.

It became a ritual of ours to throw him in the deep-end with chicks. As a group we dropped a lot of potential girls of ours in his lap, and eventually he broke out of his shell. Now he's shacked up with a pretty wicked girlfriend, and his conversational skills are much more appealing.

If you can't hold up an attractive personality next to your looks, then you're a step below where you could be. So in a way, looks can set you back in certain situations.

In saying that, better off that than being not so attractive. It's all about balance!

EDIT - Typo. It's midnight after all

 

[Migel]

Ben, a good mate of mine, is a naturally good-looking guy. He's school hockey captain, dark haired, darkish skin for a white guy, and has a pretty wicked 5 o'clock shadow. But up until last year he had 0 skills with females, nadda, ziltch, zero. A lot of girls were highly intimidated by his looks, so it was a huge rarity that they would initiate conversation themselves. Combine that with Ben never approaching, being awfully shy, and not able to counter-act his looks with a magnet-like personality, he really struggled.

Amen. This looks funny for most guys, but it is the reality for some of us.
It's better to be confident and ugly than handsome and insecure.

 

[The Juan and only]

Well..without going off on a tangent, being incredibly good looking can be a disadvantage, assuming you don't have social skills down-pat. Looks are a big part of the equation, but not all of it.

Ben, a good mate of mine, is a naturally good-looking guy. He's school hockey captain, dark haired, darkish skin for a white guy, and has a pretty wicked 5 o'clock shadow. But up until last year he had 0 skills with females, nadda, ziltch, zero. A lot of girls were highly intimidated by his looks, so it was a huge rarity that they would initiate conversation themselves. Combine that with Ben never approaching, being awfully shy, and not able to counter-act his looks with a magnet-like personality, he really struggled.

It became a ritual of ours to throw him in the deep-end with chicks. As a group we dropped a lot of potential girls of ours in his lap, and eventually he broke out of his shell. Now he's shacked up with a pretty wicked girlfriend, and his conversational skills are much more appealing.

If you can't hold up an attractive personality next to your looks, then you're a step below where you could be. So in a way, looks can set you back in certain situations.

In saying that, better off that than being not so attractive. It's all about balance!

EDIT - Typo. It's midnight after all

That doesn't make any fvcking sense at all. He'd still do better than an ugly guy with zero skills; so his looks haven't hurt him in any way-- it's just that his personality needed developing.


"It's better to be confident and ugly than handsome and insecure."

It's better to be handsome and insecure than ugly and insecure.

 

[KillaCam]

That doesn't make any fvcking sense at all. He'd still do better than an ugly guy with zero skills; so his looks haven't hurt him in any way-- it's just that his personality needed developing.


"It's better to be confident and ugly than handsome and insecure."

It's better to be handsome and insecure than ugly and insecure.

Ouch, easy daisy.

Anyone can do better than butt-ugly guy with zero skills.

I'll cut my post short for you.. Being incredibly good looking can intimidate some girls to the point where they won't even try. It's just a perception thing.

I'd still take good-looking over average anyday though.

 

[lurker]

i think there's some truth in this. me a nd a friend we just started fitness modelling, needless to say we have stunning bodies.
but my friend looks better than me looke wise facially.

id say with my newly formed body im an 8 but this guy is a nine and girls for some reason. hate him. like they want him to know that they dont find him attractive. some girls anyway. while some girls just stare at him all day. when he chats them up it goes wrong. same thing happens atimes to me.
but the major plus about being goodlook is the stares you get but thats pointless getting stares if you dont get the girls as well...............
....... its not all roses for goodlooking guys now i know. i never understood untill i got a great body and seeing what my mate going through. this boy is 6'4 blonde and muscular (anyone seeing this program jerry hall's kept men? he was the bonde guy at the end but lost). i think id rather be average a 6 with alotta confidence. than a 9. girls and guys fuk with you alott trying to bring you down.

 

[Nighthawk]

(anyone seeing this program jerry hall's kept men? he was the bonde guy at the end but lost).

Remember the episode where they had to paint a naked model and they all wanted to get her number and joked about how they'd all be 'rubbing it out' over her later? That was my girlfriend.

 

[MIKE.T]

Well, well, fvcking well. I wish I read this thread five years ago. I never ever thought that other guys would have this problem. I never in a million years would have thought that the reason hot babes would freeze up/act weird or disinterested around me (even ones that their friends told me had huge crushes on me) was because I made them nervous. Girls that I was unattracted to and who acted shy around me, sometimes I figured that I make them nervous, but never in a million years did I think I had the same effect on hot babes. This would explain a lot.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

hmm that could be my problem...

there ya go, so girls who act nice, and girls who dont act nice... they ALL want me

SUPER SUAVE!

 

[persiangino]

This is an interesting phenomenon that unfortunately only a few will understand. Before I tell you my story I will need to brag a little. I am 5’11, firm and toned, dark features, naturally tanned etc. and have been offered to do modeling on two occasions. Now it’s time for you too feel bad for me lol. High school was a traumatizing experience for me because I was lacking social skills and was oblivious of my good looks. Males would pick on my looks and would tell me I was ugly. What kind of guys? A variation of SHORT, UGLY, FAT, ACNE-FACED ones. Girls seemed timid and angry around me. Ugly girls would accidentally, get this now, bump into me so they could say “ewwww.” These are only a few examples, and although I was good at making it seem like it didn’t faze me, it still had a psychological effect on me. It was only around 11th grade that I started to understand everything. Groups of girls would gather around my locker every day and say things like “He’s so hot,” “He’s gorgeous,” “He’s so sexy” etc. I thought I was going crazy cause when I looked at them they would just stare ‘above’ me or to the ‘side,’ never directly at me. Groups of girls at lunch would SIMULTANEOUSLY stare at me and I wouldn’t pay them any attention thinking it was a normal occurrence for every guy lol. However, after my great awakening towards the end of my high school years, I went through a perfectionist phase to improve every aspect of my life. The more I experienced obvious jealousy the more I reinforced myself mentally and in every other way. Now people know that I know. If any random person hates you for anything then know you’re probably doing something right. Although high school was a traumatizing experience for me, I’m happy to say my confidence is at an all time high now and I’m better looking then ever :flowers:

 

[persiangino]

While I can sympathize with your story, I hate to tell you that it's nothing new. It's quite common, and groups of girls "simultaneously" looking in your direction in high school isn't very monumental. Despite what the looks-are-everything crowd tells you.

Noone said it was monumental.:nono: But it doesn't happen often when a whole table of 20 girls turn their head to stare.

 

[NorPacWolf]

I posted about this exact same phenomenon a few weeks ago seeking an explanation, not quite understanding it. It's an approach invitation but one I've only gotten very recently (at least when I've been aware of it). It's strange: they will look in your direction, but will not make eye contact at all.

My experience with this is that these girls tend to be a) very good looking themselves, but b) comfortable socializing only within their social circle. As a result, direct eye contact would be an explicit invitation to join them, which they would feel uncomfortable with.

To confirm this phenomenon, I've done it myself, where I'll look back and pretend to be looking past a pretty girl I'm checking out. Guys and gals do this both. It's just a discreet way of taking in some eye candy and trying to play it cool.

I've also had people respond that lots of staring and groups of girls staring is unusual, whereas I thought this was a routine part of a guy's life, at least when going out at night.

---

I thought I was going crazy cause when I looked at them they would just stare ‘above’ me or to the ‘side,’ never directly at me. Groups of girls at lunch would SIMULTANEOUSLY stare at me and I wouldn’t pay them any attention thinking it was a normal occurrence for every guy lol.

 

[persiangino]

I've also had people respond that lots of staring and groups of girls staring is unusual, whereas I thought this was a routine part of a guy's life, at least when going out at night.

---

No this never happened at a party or a night out. This occured in an upscale highschool cafeteria, and when i tell people about it they think im crazy.

 

[Rint]

Just be thankful your that blessed. You dont have to work as hard as us. So that just means you gotta give the girls the ok for them to be themselves

 

[persiangino]

I'll tell you what, dude...I gave you the benefit of the doubt at first, because I didn't know you. But each time you keep hammering this whole thing home, I get more and more convinced that you're trying to persuade YOURSELF more than us. Truth doesn't need to be sensationalized with such comments as "upscale cafeterias" (what do they serve, filet mignon and lobster?), or "people think I'm crazy when I try to explain to them how two dozen girls let their food get cold while they all stare at me Village of the Damned style". You think you're great-looking? Cool. Keep it up. But let's stay grounded; the other side of the looks debate is just waiting for you to step off the deep end and say something like "all I have to do is sneeze and HB's will line up to lick the mucous off my hand if it increases their chances of getting my phone number".

When i say upscale cafeterias i'm trying to give the reader a since of where this is all occuring. Is this bull**** occuring with the hoodrats in harlem or the Japs in an upscale area. Cause i sure as hell know the ghetto girls DO NOT DO THIS, they are more upfront. And i will also agree that I might express myself through writing in a way that may seem arogant. But this is who I am and what i stand for and if you don't like it too Fcking bad. And I think you are just making a big deal out of nothing and nitpicking on my comments for absolutely no LOGICAL reason. "Sensationalized" are you kidding???? hahaha "I'll gave you the benefit of the doubt" !!!! Thank you! I don't know what I would have done without your consent. I Am only giving my experience and if you're too sensitive to what i say then please ignore my posts from now on. THANK YOU.

 

[MIKE.T]

Deus, calm down man. You keep seeing him as trying to convey a mood that just isn't there. (Well, the "people think I'm crazy" comment was a bit over the top - what, persiangino, you actually discuss this event with people? How does it ever enter a discussion? And how are people reacting to it so that you get the impression they think you're crazy?) Other than that though, he's said nothing outrageous. Girls do tend to 'stare' at attractive guys when they enter the surrounds. It's not letting their food get cold, it's just looking for a little longer than is required to check who just walked through the door; if you've had it happen to you, you'll know there's a difference between the two. I've had it happen a number of times, and I used to find it very uncomfortable because I was under the impression that they looked, saw who just entered the room/lecture theatre/restaurant, and proceeded to judge me, as though there was something about me they didn't approve of. That kind of thing sticks with you (well, it did me). Now that I've learned that oh, they weren't judging me in that sense, those experiences are very much the sort of thing you'd bring up in a discussion like this, especially one online. If you had the traumatic experience in highschool that persiangino claims he had, and that I know I had, I think you'd be a little slower to start tearing a guy down for merely relating his life experiences on this matter.

 

[MIKE.T]

Some people's communication style is simply a little more emphatic, that's all. You're obviously an intelligent guy, so I'm surprised that you don't separate the tone from the underlying message. That's not always easy to do, but it's something worth keeping in mind.

He didn't start a thread bragging about how every chick wants him. He contributed his experiences to a thread questioning, and later attempting to explain, the phenomenon of girls finding some guys "too attractive" and turning icy because of it. I think he still deserves the benefit of the doubt you were earlier prepared to lend him.

Anyway, I don't have any stake in his reputation, so I won't say any more on this.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Deus,

Chill out, man. If you don't believe him, you don't believe him. This type of endless negativity would typically get a member banned, or at least reprimanded. Who cares about internet posts anyway. Just enjoy your life.

Wolf

 

[NorPacWolf]

Deus,

When's the last time you posted a FR? Are you active at all in pickup? It seems like you are investing your energy in criticizing others, instead of pursuing beautiful women. Post a FR soon, buddy. That's the best way to get your point across, whatever it may be.


Wolf