To everybody who says cold approaching doesn't work

[The Texas Tornado]

Every week a new thread pops up on some guy's new theory on why cold approaching doesn't work. These threads are always the same: some guy with little to no cold approaching experience posts and comes up with some theory on why cold approaching shouldn't work.

This definitely highlights a major misconception that a lot of people have about cold approaching. Cold approaching is really a skill that takes a while to master. Even if you have a great personality, you still need to get in field over and over to develop the social intuition/confidence to get real good at it. People here seem to think that if they try ten, twenty, or even fifty times at first and don't get laid consistently from it, that it's not worthwhile. It takes a lot of approaches to develop the skill to just go out there in the daytime and pull consistently.

Even worse are the guys who haven't even tried a SINGLE cold approach and are probably afraid to. I don't see why a person like this would make one of those threads unless they were trying to rationalize their fear of cold approaching. But the fact is that it works, and it works for many people, and many people get laid from it. I've only been practicing cold approach for a month and a half and I've gained the ability to number close every time I go out for daygame and to get dates and kisses. It is a skill that takes a while to master. Saying cold approaching doesn't work after only trying it a small amount of times is like going to the gym for two weeks and saying weightlifting doesn't work.

The fact is people can sit here and theorize all day but you must realize these are just theories that they pulled out of their azz and have no validity at all because they are not backed by experience. Especially if you have little to no cold approaching experience, you cannot talk about the subject because you just don't know.

Bottom line being - cold approaching is a SKILL that takes practice to get good at, just like any other skill...

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

^Good Analogy with the weight lifting principle. Also u have to have that burning desire and get past the frustration of things not happening as fast u want them. . Hence the analogy.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Bump

 

[The Texas Tornado]

well there's a lot of ebooks out there on cold approaching. but the general consensus is that you have to go out at least 3 times a week to get REALLY good at it. theres lots of resources though, it all depends on what style of game you want to learn (direct, natural, indirect, etc). how has your success rate been with cold approaching?

 

[sprint]

I like how Texas doesn't even bother to back his "theory" up with any evidence. He's no different then the guys who think it doesn't work. He just happens to think it does.

Look for some it works and for others not so much. My opinion is that 'cold' approaching is fine and works well in certain situations. But just random is not going to work, ever. At least this is what my experience tells me.

 

[The Texas Tornado]

Thanks, Texas Tornado, I didn't know that--are there any you'd recommend in particular?

I'm not asking about frequency of practice. I'm asking what skills specifically are involved and how they are improved in said practice. I haven't learned much of anything at all over the last several years of cold approaching about what makes some approaches effective and attractive and others not. For all I know, it's all dumb luck. I'd like to learn more about it and be smart and effective.

Success rate so far is minimal. Most don't even talk or respond at all to saying hi, especially when they and/or I am/are moving quickly. I've got a few times when conversations happened, but nothing happened beyond that, but I can only attribute those to luck and not to any particular skill being developed.

Honestly dude it really depends because there are so many different styles of game. Personally I like the book Magic Bullets. It lays out an entire structure on how to get a girl yet it allows for a lot of flexibility. I'm no expert because I've only been working on it for about a month (two if you count the month i went out and did crazy sh1t to get rid of AA) but this book is a pretty standard one in the pickup community. The skills all depend on what style of game you are learning but in general they would be opening, building attraction, making them feel comfortable, closing, etc.

I like how Texas doesn't even bother to back his "theory" up with any evidence. He's no different then the guys who think it doesn't work. He just happens to think it does.

Look for some it works and for others not so much. My opinion is that 'cold' approaching is fine and works well in certain situations. But just random is not going to work, ever. At least this is what my experience tells me.

The difference between those guys and myself is that I've actually gone into field and tried it, and met other guys who have tried it and succeed with it. Another difference being that they are either unaware of or are blinding themselves to the success of cold approaching because they want to rationalize their own fear/failure.

As far as evidence goes, in the one month I've done cold approaching I've gotten around 20 numbers (all of them real) and I've gotten several dates which I k-closed but didn't take further. I would've gotten more dates but I procrastinated calling the numbers for up to weeks. The fact that I was able to get dates and make out with girls off cold approaches though shows that it is quite possible to bone girls off cold approaches when done right. If you want more evidence, there is a recent thread from Vlad the Impaler where he bones a girl he met at Walmart. There is another one by KontrollerX where he gets head from a girl he met at the CD store. Snow Plowman has hooked up with countless girls through cold approach. Not to mention the entire pickup community which is completely centered around cold approach, and has thousands of men getting laid from it. Is that enough evidence for you?

True it works for some and it doesn't work for others. But just like anything else in life it works for those who put in effort to get good, and doesn't work for those who don't. But don't put down something you don't know anything about.

 

[The Texas Tornado]

Chronocidal i am curious as to what you are saying to open these girls, if they aren't even responding most of the time. are you actually going up to girls and opening them or are you just saying how you doing to girls that walk by (thats not really an approach)?

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Sprint, where is ur evidence against Texas Tornado's post? It seems to me like ur just tryin to bash him without credible evidence. He makes great points. i dont see what so not credible about it. I know the guy personally and i can honestly say, he's not bullsh1tting.

 

[daygameguy]

cold approaching will even eventually lead to more opportunities for warm approaches/social circle game. Listen to AFCAdam (London's top PUA).

cold game is the sh1t. It takes balls and skills. That is why it will get you the MOST self improvement. Don't forget the prime aim is to improve ourselves, our skills, charisma, personality and life as a whole.

 

[justiceseeker]

Cold approaching doesn't work for most guys for several reasons. The very act of walking up to a stranger and asking them for a date makes one look needy and of lower value.

Does cold approaching serve a purpose? Yes it does. It can get you used to rejection and make you more comfortable in social situations. It can also be detrimental because after 30 women tell you NO, it's probably going to affect your confidence.


The point is, that it's really a big waste of time. There are many other things that you can do to get women and they're much more productive than cold approaching. Liken Cold Approaching to Cold Calling. Anyone who's ever been in sales knows that Cold Calling is usually a big waste of time. Not too many people like to do it because the results just aren't there. Samething with this approaching, nothing inherently wrong with it, but it's not that effective.

I also get a kick out of Texastornado. He advocates this technique, supposedly uses it with success, then doesn't bother to call some of the women? What the hell is the sense to that?

Opinions vary, but mine is that this technique isn't something you should spend a lot of time doing.

 

[The Texas Tornado]

Cold approaching doesn't work for most guys for several reasons. The very act of walking up to a stranger and asking them for a date makes one look needy and of lower value.

Does cold approaching serve a purpose? Yes it does. It can get you used to rejection and make you more comfortable in social situations. It can also be detrimental because after 30 women tell you NO, it's probably going to affect your confidence.


The point is, that it's really a big waste of time. There are many other things that you can do to get women and they're much more productive than cold approaching. Liken Cold Approaching to Cold Calling. Anyone who's ever been in sales knows that Cold Calling is usually a big waste of time. Not too many people like to do it because the results just aren't there. Samething with this approaching, nothing inherently wrong with it, but it's not that effective.

I also get a kick out of Texastornado. He advocates this technique, supposedly uses it with success, then doesn't bother to call some of the women? What the hell is the sense to that?

Opinions vary, but mine is that this technique isn't something you should spend a lot of time doing.

that's all great but what evidence do you have to back that up? nothing except theorizing. there's numerous people on this board and the community (which is now huge) who get success from it lol. i already listed some of them. these other people, and myself, prefer not to sit there on the sidelines watching while beautiful women pass by and chickening out, sitting there with our fingers crossed hoping that they are somehow in our social circle or are that we will somehow meet them in the future through some type of activity.

also u wont get 30 women tell u no in a row unless you're doing it wrong. and even if you do you get more confident because you really start to internalize that rejection doesn't mean sh1t... this is from actual field experience

 

[justiceseeker]

Noob, I'm 28 you moron. My sister had her son at a very young age and she's also 18 years older than me. Now that I've explained my family tree to you, I'll address your other stupidity.

Why is it that anyone who disagrees with you is a TROLL? You're a fvcking idiot. Cold approaching DOESN'T WORK. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a big ole waste of time. Sure, it builds confidence and makes you more comfortable, by why sit around hitting on women all day who are just going to reject you when there are other ways of going about this?

Yes it takes balls to go up to random women and ask them out, but the point to this forum is EFFECTIVE ways to pick up women. I'm sure if you went up to 1 million random women, 1 percent would like to sit in their own urine all day too. That doesn't mean it's something you should be doing with your time.

1) Cold approaching makes you look NEEDY. Don't give me this shyt about it's how you do it. You look needy and immediately put her in the position of power.

2) You guys talk a lot of shyt, I highly doubt you pick up anyone, and if you do, I doubt even more that you actually get laid.

3) You keep griping about how I must not approach, so how would I know it's a bad thing. Well, its plain common sense. Cold approaching doesn't work. Obviously you've never worked in sales. Read up on it dyckhead. It's one of the most UNeffective techniques in sales. You might get luck and land a few sales, but anyone knows that HOT leads, to former clients is much more successful. Samething with approaching. Build rapport, introduce yourself, make contact, but don't hassle her for her damn number right away.

So noob, basically you're gay and you're giving us your advice about how you pick up men at night clubs. It's not the same for us heterosexuals.

 

[The Texas Tornado]

i will address your arguments one by one, just for the readers who are deciding whether or not they want to cold approach....

You're a fvcking idiot. Cold approaching DOESN'T WORK. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's a big ole waste of time. Sure, it builds confidence and makes you more comfortable, by why sit around hitting on women all day who are just going to reject you when there are other ways of going about this?

people who are good at cold approaching don't sit around all day hitting on women, though they will put in time to get to that level. it's up to them to decide if they want to make that sacrifice. but once they are good they will be going about their daily business at the mall, streets, supermarket, etc and when they see an attractive woman they will go up to them and approach and more often than not come away with a phone number. hell i just started and i'm already getting numbers. but anyway you tell me how approaching girls you come across in daily life is a big waste of time...? would you rather just let them slip by?

Yes it takes balls to go up to random women and ask them out, but the point to this forum is EFFECTIVE ways to pick up women. I'm sure if you went up to 1 million random women, 1 percent would like to sit in their own urine all day too. That doesn't mean it's something you should be doing with your time.

where are you getting these "facts" from? i have a friend whose not even in the community whose been cold approaching all his life and he's gotten laid many times from it. it's people like him, and others on this forum, who are living proof that cold approach works. if you want me to link u to posts/threads then i will.

1) Cold approaching makes you look NEEDY. Don't give me this shyt about it's how you do it. You look needy and immediately put her in the position of power.

first off theres so many ways to approach its not even funny. lots of people approach indirectly (coming in under the radar) and don't appear needy at all. there is a whole community developed around this style of game. also even if you approach her directly, she is usually so caught off guard by it. those thoughts just arent what enter their minds in the moment. besides how would you know? lol.

2) You guys talk a lot of shyt, I highly doubt you pick up anyone, and if you do, I doubt even more that you actually get laid.

for one month of cold approaching ( a complete noob), i've gotten a rack of phone numbers and two dates which i k-closed. i did not have the game to lay these two girls. but that has nothing to do with the fact that they were cold approaches because if they were as creeped out as you claim they'll be i'd never have even gotten to that point. if you want me to link you to guys who've laid girls off cold approach i will. chances are you'll ignore this part of my post though.

3) You keep griping about how I must not approach, so how would I know it's a bad thing. Well, its plain common sense. Cold approaching doesn't work. Obviously you've never worked in sales. Read up on it dyckhead. It's one of the most UNeffective techniques in sales. You might get luck and land a few sales, but anyone knows that HOT leads, to former clients is much more successful. Samething with approaching. Build rapport, introduce yourself, make contact, but don't hassle her for her damn number right away.

a lot of things that seem to be common sense (even though this doesn't) are proved to be false when you go into the real world and test these claims. besides, cold approach and social circle game aren't mutually exclusive. who says you can't approach girls you see in your day to day life AND game girls in your social circle? why limit yourself?

 

[DonGorgon]

anything "can" Work... The Question Is How Efficiently..... ??

 

[The Texas Tornado]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=148442

case closed.

 

[daygameguy]

I don't care if the world hates cold game.. if you want to meet people and your social group is not yet formed/scattered, you HAVE to do cold game.

And YES, it takes much more skills to do cold game than social circle game.

Any approach, where you are meeting someone new or outside your social network, is cold approach. Now, with this definition, all PUAs and DJs have done cold game to get their social circle erected and their skills sharpened.

Any argument is futile. Cold approaching is a great way to meet women.

 

[justiceseeker]

That was one example. I could also show example where pigs flew. It doesn't mean it's a worthwhile endeavor. If you want to waste your time walking up to strange women and asking them for dates, be my guest. You deserve the rejections and wasted time.

As far as noob, you're a silly limey. Anyone who doesn't agree with you is either a troll or they should be banned. Why don't you tell the forum why you sit at home on your computer so much posting if you're supposedly out there hitting on those snaggled toothed English women?

Enough said LOL

 

[daygameguy]

That was one example. I could also show example where pigs flew. It doesn't mean it's a worthwhile endeavor. If you want to waste your time walking up to strange women and asking them for dates, be my guest. You deserve the rejections and wasted time.

As far as noob, you're a silly limey. Anyone who doesn't agree with you is either a troll or they should be banned. Why don't you tell the forum why you sit at home on your computer so much posting if you're supposedly out there hitting on those snaggled toothed English women?

Enough said LOL

What's your problem bro.. live and let live man.. do you social circle game.. let us do what we want.. this is no law school debate dude.. just relax and post some freaking FRs.. i hardly doubt you got game.. you seem to be just ignorant.

 

[j0n024]

Justice.

I have no idea why you have a problem with Cold approaching or for that matter people that do cold approach, where is this anger coming from? Now I wasnt apart of this little fight your having with noob and whoever but really why are you fighting about something that doesn't even affect you since you have such distaste for?

Hey just because other people are having success with cold approaching myself included should show some merit that it does in fact work dont you think? Now I dont know where you get this whole "Walking up to a stranger and asking them for dates," Nonsense is coming from and clearly you have no knowledge what cold approaching IS and to tell you the truth is pretty sad that you are basing something you have no idea on the subject matter. I mean it's pointless to argue over something like this because it's like arguing with someone that drives a Manual car or truck while you've only driven an Automatic...it still gets you to your destination just different mechanics.

I think you guys should cool down and take yourself away from this argument because I would have thought that you guys would be more mature then your acting right now. Just because someone does something differently doesnt mean it's right or wrong.

 

[justiceseeker]

Justice.

I have no idea why you have a problem with Cold approaching or for that matter people that do cold approach, where is this anger coming from? Now I wasnt apart of this little fight your having with noob and whoever but really why are you fighting about something that doesn't even affect you since you have such distaste for?

Hey just because other people are having success with cold approaching myself included should show some merit that it does in fact work dont you think? Now I dont know where you get this whole "Walking up to a stranger and asking them for dates," Nonsense is coming from and clearly you have no knowledge what cold approaching IS and to tell you the truth is pretty sad that you are basing something you have no idea on the subject matter. I mean it's pointless to argue over something like this because it's like arguing with someone that drives a Manual car or truck while you've only driven an Automatic...it still gets you to your destination just different mechanics.

I think you guys should cool down and take yourself away from this argument because I would have thought that you guys would be more mature then your acting right now. Just because someone does something differently doesnt mean it's right or wrong.

Why don't you get your shyt straight and learn to read? I disagreed with noob and tornado's assesment as to the effectiveness of cold approaching. Noob then starting calling me a troll and saying I should be banned. So if you're going to talk to someone about "live and let live" then you better speak to him. If someobody's going to jump on my ass for stating an opinion, I'm going to let them know about it.

As far as all the "SUCCESS" you cold approachers are having. Why don't you have a friend come a long with you and tape your approaches? Let us see first hand how great you are at picking up random women.

My biggest beef with some of the punks on this board is that they think they can say anything from behind a computer screen, but can't back anything up. I don't see where I have anger issues? I've been called ignorant, a troll and other names but if I respond in kind I have anger problems? I've said all a long, if you want to waste your time cold approaching, be my guest, but don't tell people who disagree with your opinion they should be banned.