To anyone who will listen

[Wildebeest]

Hello,
I had the craziest weekend for me.
please dont say TL; DR cause I need help plz
im will, a 23 year old aussie...im a massive amateur with girls lol Ive always been too insecure and inhibited to talk to girls. So...Im still a virgin...
However I also realise now how much I have going for me...Im very intelligent (it hurts), im not ugly, I can be witty and funny, Im in decent shape but could use some work lol. Ive done very well in university academically ( graduated) but im not working because I feel **** ( I have okay savings for now). Ive only recently starting tell myself that Im worth something...and I have no idea why it took me this long. Ive always been too shy, too self involved and too unworthy.
I still feel very introverted though and overly suspicious and cynical of people's motives, which Im constantly trying to fight.

So one of my friends, who also has had some trouble with girls, started a relationship a few months back with this asian girl he met while studying in the city ( we're both white australians...lol).

Hes now trying to set me up with a friend of his girlfriend, who is a thai girl currently studying in sydney some IT degree, whom I was to meet at his halloween party (last saturday). My initial feelings were uneasiness and mixed... I still dont know what I want, I used to have all sorts of retarded notions of love and relationships when I was young, but I have since become more hardened...

Anyway...long story short, last Saturday I went to my mate's Halloween house party, and I drank ALOT, and I didnt really stop...it a very strange thing happened. My brain stopped working (what a relief), and I was on fire, I somehow got in the 'zone', everybody was my friend all of a sudden.... I moved around, I danced, I joked...hard to explain but it ... felt amazing.
I was in the moment as they say, and drunk off my ass.

So while drunk, I met this thai girl my friend was setting me up with, and she was really cute. She was chasing me alot...it felt good lol. We talked a bit and she seems interested in me.

But then something else weird happened, some random girl who I didnt even talk to just grabbed me and we made out on the lawn...felt pretty good, even though she told me I was kissing her too hard...I barely remember her, and im fine with it. Im feel beyond embarrassment for a change...(first kiss for me, didnt know her name or what she looked like...probably for the best lol) We were both drunk off our faces but it was fun. But then because we both had way too much to drink, it ended. And im happy to leave it at that.

I never had the chance to say goodbye to the thai girl, and apparently I upset her somewhat, which I feel slightly bad about.

So I wake up the next day, with no recollection of how I got home, (my brother got me home), and I find this thai girl has added me on facebook, and messaged me. She wants to have a drink with me. (ive actually never been on a date). I start talking to her and we get along alright. She's pursuing me quite hard, shes already asked me to have dinner with her last night, which I declined with some lame excuse that I was hungover. We've exchanged numbers...and I have talked to her a bit more on facebook. Apparently shes just come out of a relationship where her best friend cheated on her. She told me shes having trouble sleeping lately.

So I have alot of mixed feelings right now...I am very confused. I am attracted to her, but I don't know what I want. I don't want to hurt her any worse than she's obviously been recently. Im also concerned as to how compatible we are in the longer term...shes thai, and im a white australian. Also worried about whether she is actually attracted to me or she just wants an Australian boyfriend with potential to live here?
I dont know how the families may react...not sure if my family would approve?
maybe I think too much?
will

 

[DonJuanit0]

WTF? Why families in the end of the topic? Why did I see this? I don't really know how it works in other countries but it can be THAT different in Australia! Why would your families, know, dissaprove, have problem with this? I woudn't even think about it! Pls, forget the family issues, if she had family issues she wouldn't be all over you as you say!

Yes you think too much! Just count the times you wrote "lol" in your post! You feel akward! Why? Many people here has asked before you and will ask after you about the same staff! Don't feel like that! It is supposed to be FUN!

Go out with this chick, HAVE FUN, be ****y and funny, make it happen and just enjoy it!

As I have said before, advice is what we ask for, when we already know the answer but wish we didn't! YOU KNOW THE ANSWER!!

I hope your next post will be on how to be great in bed cause this thai chick is craving for my sh1t!

Fair well...

 

[Wildebeest]

thanks, yes this stuff makes me awkward

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Why did you decline a dinner date with her?

This is how you learn my brother.

You have to go out on the limb to see if the fruit is ripe.

Sometimes there is a fall to the ground that is very unpleasant...

Chick #2 probably saw your flirtation with Chick #1 = this turned her on = she wanted you too. This is very common with women and a complete mind-fvck at times.

Sometimes it is like they all want you ; other times it seems as if all are brick walls and hurdles.

However -- you really ought to go take this chick up on her offer. Who cares what your families think? You're not marrying this woman and having babies with her and taking her on family vacations...ultimately who you date is about what you want for yourself...if you start basing your relationships in any way off what your family wants...well, sign yourself up for unhappiness early.

I would say take her up on her offer and see where it goes. Nervousness is normal. Apprehension, when experience is lacking, is absolutely normal. You just can't let these barriers stop you from growing -- because at their root they are mental -- you are only basing your reality of the situation off of images of "what if's" and whatever other daydreams your imagination is entertaining in the possibilities with this chick....the reality of the situation will take a life of it's own -- so whatever you "think" the date will be, abandon those mental images, embark on the journey and see what meets you.

I promise no matter what you will grow from it.

Stay strong brother Will -- recognize your self-value: do not tolerate a woman who deprecates you or bosses you around. Find women who recognize your value and strengths -- who want to be a part of that -- and of whom seem curious to you.

Every journey begins with a single step, isn't that how the expression goes?

only the best,
BM.

 

[Wildebeest]

That was really well said BM, thankyou.

I really do need to learn sometime

"Chick #2 probably saw your flirtation with Chick #1 = this turned her on = she wanted you too. This is very common with women and a complete mind-fvck at times."
- This is how I thought it happened. It is so weird. Its either a flood or a drought. Getting girls is like a horrible cycle, that is impossible at the very start but snowballs with momentum to become easier. Women only want what women want.

"You're not marrying this woman and having babies with her and taking her on family vacations"
- I needed to hear this, I'm overreacting and looking too far ahead.

"you are only basing your reality of the situation off of images of 'what if's' and whatever other daydreams..."
- This is a way that I must be attempting to take control of the situation I think...I get stuck in my head, making predictions, foreseeing imaginary obstacles because I have trouble letting go.

" I promise no matter what you will grow from it."


I think I need to abandon preconceptions and just find out how it feels...
Thanks again,
Will

 

[runner83]

Buddha mind has good advice, except never make it a dinner date. Make it a few casual drinks instead.

Alcohol = Sex, Food = Sleep.

Apart from that, never worry about a relationship with a girl until you have banged them at least 10 times.

If she is Thai, she may want a commitment sooner than that. Try to keep it casual as long as you can, but if that comes up say go along with it whilst keeping it as vague as possible.

If at any stage you decide you don't want to take things further, or the supply of pvssy dries up just dump her.

All is fair in love and war.

But don't look too far ahead. Just focus on the first meet and getting her panties soaking wet. I've never done well with Asians myself since their sense of humour is different, so can't offer a lot of advice in that area.

 

[Wildebeest]

Ok that sounds sensible and reasonable
I can be too 'nice'...god i hate that word

 

[Wildebeest]

I feel like I need to work out her motives...
shes a thai student studying in sydney, only met her once and shes very interested..

I just realised something, im paranoid...

 

[Iceberg]

I feel like I need to work out her motives...
shes a thai student studying in sydney, only met her once and shes very interested..

I just realised something, im paranoid...

Motives? What in god's name are you talking about?

Just go out and have fun. Stop worrying about random crazy nonsense.

Christ. You're making ME uneasy.

 

[Wildebeest]

lol

 

[Wildebeest]

Hey guys, I wanted to update and maybe get a quick opinion or two...hard to trust my own sometimes on this subject.

So...this thai girl, I went and saw her (she lives in the city, and I live 40 min outside in suburbia. I don't really know my way the city at all...never honestly had a reason to, well at least until I get a job in there or something else.

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing or where to take her, despite knowing I had to be leading...

So I meet up with her, I ask if shes hungry, and she said no, and I wasn't either due to being nervous. So I just walk her around, up to the nearby park and we sit down, and talk.

On the body language side of things, I pay good attention to what she says (actually listening to her, I make strong eye contact at times, I try to spread out and relax my body, try my best for some semblance of posture (I have **** posture). Doing my best to be comfortable and confident.

Anyway, she is going on and on about her ex boyfriend, she was with him for 2 months, and he left her for another girl, a girl who just so happened to be a good friend of hers...so obviously this girl is still quite hurt and 'sad'. She admitted to wanting to keep her ******* boyfriend, even after learning about the other girl. She said her ex said, that she was more in love with him, than he was with her. It sounded like her ex was a bit of a player. She's still reeling big time from the breakup.

Now I realise, that this is a massive turnoff for most, but I enjoy the moment regardless. I tell her everything that her friends have been, and everything she already knows. Her ex is a selfish ******* who doesn't deserve her and she has been too 'nice' or accommodating. Anyway, I eventually change the subject, or she does. She asks if ive ever had a gf, which I haven't...I tell her no, I think she tries to politely make light of it. I tell her about a few near misses, few they are. I focus particularly on a girl 2, who also attended the Halloween party last Saturday, who I asked out wimpily over facebook months back, but she (girl2) had a boyfriend (and is now single), Girl 2 is not the girl I made out with at that party, she is unrelated. I realise now that we're both being very honest... I have no idea whether this is good or bad...and although we're being honest, I think there was still attraction and interest.

She talks about how personality types can match up with blood type (she said she was type A), but I didn't know what mine was. She asks what mine is, I ask if she wants to suck my blood or something, ****y+funny...
We get onto some more light hearted stuff about twilight and that, she calls me a vampire, because of my white skin. We vibe quite well for a while
The few times that I teased her particularly well, she would hit me softly on my leg and laughed with me. So I don't think the mutual honesty killed anything yet...lol

She asks a little about my employment and family...and tells me how close she is to her own family. I tell her how annoying my family is lol ( I live with them still). Im unemployed (by choice), and get by on poker and savings at the moment..I tell her most of that... I tell her I will teach her poker, and i joke that she will love it and I won't because I am bored of it, but when you first learn its wonderful.

She mentions bangkok is flooding too, but her family is okay. She is going back to Thailand in december to january to visit family...Im writing this for myself now

Anyway, we start to wrap it up, we have talked for about an hour and a half. Im starting to get really tired now (I went to bed late and I had alot of nervous energy to start), so we go to the coffee shop. She notices quickly that im tired and thinks that she is boring me, which I assure her she isn't and let her know why im tired. I buy her a cup of hot chocolate, and I get a coffee. She offerred to buy hers, but I said I would buy it for both of us and she said next time she would buy and I agreed. I feel slightly self conscious about being with a cute asian girl despite being white...lol. But I know its in my head because no one is paying any attention...

I walk her to where she is staying while we drink it, and we talk some more. (its the waning afternoon). She seems happy and positive and so am I. We say goodbye, I dart in for a kiss on the cheek for no reason I am aware or conscious of, despite not being actively invited for a kiss. . She asks me to message her when I make it home.We say goodbye, she goes her way, I go mine.

So in conclusion:
She seems to be very sweet and perhaps too nice, she has strong links to family and friends, I find her somewhat cute. She's recently been hurt by a player who was Vietnamese (after breaking up, she asked my mate to set her up with a friend of his; me).

I'm really not sure if I want something long-term that maybe she wants or needs, but I like her, however I don't want to damage her further by being selfish. I plan to be honest with any intentions I may have.

Now berate me, what do I do.


Will

 

[runner83]

1) Always make sure you have a plan for meeting a girl. It will never go exactly to plan, but you have to have some idea how you are going to escalate from the meet into your bed.

2) Like any girl, she is attracted to a high value man. She would go back to him in a second if she had the chance – she is still pining for his d!ck.

3) Never talk about the exes – try to avoid this at all costs, although in this case, it was probably a useful idea since it revealed that she still has feelings for another man.

4) Be creative in your storytelling. At 23, you should have had at least one girlfriend. In the future, with new girls, make something up if you have to. No girl wants to be with a man who at 23 has not already been “experienced” by other women.

5) NEVER tell a woman about your failed encounters with past women. Hint at the successes, but only in enough detail that she wonders, never give full details even if she presses. Never make too much of a past relationship.

6) Always try to get something ****y and funny into the conversation as soon as possible to set the vibe and get the conversation away from the b/s “getting to know each other” direction it can so easily take.

7) Too much talking about family and b/s like that. Like I said in a previous post, you shouldn’t even be thinking about a relationship with a girl until you’ve banged her at least 10 times and got a feel for her.

8) I hope you didn’t message her when you actually got home – would have been a good way to gauge her interest – if she had messaged you checking up when you didn’t message her, it would have been an indicator of interest.

9) Never start with a kiss on the cheeks. That’s what wussies do. Girls kiss each other on the cheeks. Always go for the kiss on the lips.

10) Now berate me, what do I do. –If it was me, I’d keep all thoughts of a relationship out of your head and just focus on banging her and see what happens from there.

The general rule of 3 dates and no sex and she is gone obviously only applies when you are busy and have lots of other options.

Accept that because is Asian and you are inexperienced, it may take more than a few dates, and see how it goes.

I’m not an expert on Asians myself since they don’t do it for me (nearest I’ve been with was Hawaiian American), but general principles should still apply, especially if she is still pining for a player. Good luck!

 

[Iceberg]

Anyway, she is going on and on about her ex boyfriend, she was with him for 2 months, and he left her for another girl, a girl who just so happened to be a good friend of hers...
Now I realise, that this is a massive turnoff for most, but I enjoy the moment regardless. I tell her everything that her friends have been, and everything she already knows. Her ex is a selfish ******* who doesn't deserve her and she has been too 'nice' or accommodating.

You're enjoying the moment because you're happy to be in the presence of a woman.

In reality, that kind of talk does nothing for you. It puts you in the position of being one of her girlfriends.

I've been on dates where girls have done that, and I just throw some bulls*it responses at her like, "Yeah. What can you do?" "Yeah. I've been through that before."

But you damn sure don't want to keep that conversation going.

Anyway, I eventually change the subject, or she does. She asks if ive ever had a gf, which I haven't...I tell her no, I think she tries to politely make light of it. I tell her about a few near misses, few they are. I focus particularly on a girl 2, who also attended the Halloween party last Saturday, who I asked out wimpily over facebook months back, but she (girl2) had a boyfriend (and is now single), Girl 2 is not the girl I made out with at that party, she is unrelated. I realise now that we're both being very honest... I have no idea whether this is good or bad...and although we're being honest, I think there was still attraction and interest.

So you told her that you've never had a girlfriend. AND that you unsuccessfully asked out another girl over Facebook a week ago?

Well, congratulations. You just got a new best friend.

I'm just kidding with you.....but seriously....never do that. Either of those. You don't want to talk about other girls you've asked out. Especially when it's failed. And even more especially when it's through Facebook.

I'm really not sure if I want something long-term that maybe she wants or needs, but I like her, however I don't want to damage her further by being selfish. I plan to be honest with any intentions I may have.

Don't worry about "long-term" stuff. Stop thinking of girls as innocent little, relationship-seeking creatures. They like short-term flings just as much as guys do. Even the ones who recently got out of relationships...

Anyway...Despite my criticism of you, it's impossible to predict human reactions to things. It's what makes life interesting.

So maybe this girl likes you, and nothing will stop her from having you....But from an attraction perspective, you've done a lot wrong. But that's okay. We all need improvement.

As Runner83 said, all this talk about ex boyfriends, and family, and stuff like that....it takes you nowhere. What helped me get better with women was focusing on living an interesting life. Before, maybe I was like you...talking about ex's and relationships and family.....these days I talk about adventures I've had, or hobbies I've succeeded at, my job (I'm a professional writer)...

I think you're still new to these concepts, and it's showing. But you're out there, meeting women. So you're on the right path. Just keep getting better.

 

[Wildebeest]

Okay I wrote a post so long, that it will fit in only 2 posts.


Regarding the current stuff:

Thanks for the input guys, i'm not surprised that i've made mistakes...I just don't like lying or being deceptive, maybe I have to become more comfortable with simply omitting parts of the whole truth. I have a friend who is good with women (mate #1), he omits things whenever he feels like it, although I know.

I felt like the date was hit and miss to be honest. There were parts that I think made her attracted to me, and parts that made me and her unattractive to each other.

I need to accept that you can't be too honest with girls and expect them to be attracted to you? Actually one of the stories I told her was of a girl from school chasing me, giving me a gift, and laughing at my bad jokes, which i didnt like. But I wasn't attracted to her at all, and rejected her. Obviously this is a good story to tell a girl.

I know i'm a wuss...this is why i'm fumbling in the dark...
I'm way behind the 8ball, and my only teacher is myself and random dudes on the internet - I love you guys, no offense

With the exception of women, I feel like i've achieved with everything I've ever set my mind to, but ive just ignored girls and expected them to come to me. And then they didn't...lol. Now it starting to eat me up inside.
Which reinforced ideas of inferiority. It's funny because the behaviour ive adopted with girls is the exact opposite behaviour which has ever given me success.

...Oh and I did message the asian girl, but it was much later than she expected, and I didnt get a reply. I think I might ignore her for a little bit.

I just want to fix my inner game, and if that making a fvckload of errors along the way, so be it. ( I have perfectionist tendencies )

I actually have a few stories that I didnt tell the asian girl of times when I almost hooked up with girls but failed horribly. Im going to write them down here, but they're very long, skip over if you like; I want to write them down for me. The first story demonstrates that Im an a very loyal person and will not be completely governed by my instincts, is this attractive to a girl?
The second story, is where I fail to act and lose an opportunity. The third story is similar to the second (not acting decisively enough) but has some major deviations. Stories 1 and 2 overlap somewhat.

Story 1:


This one is kinda relatable to what happened to this asian girl, but is sensitive to one of my close friends (not the friend who set us up, mate #3). This story happened about a year ago. It concerns a girl who will now be known as girl #3. One of my best mates, mate #2, and I were both out, and both single. There were a few others friends too that we meet up with later. We both meet this girl #3 at the same time who knew other said friends, we all get drunk and go back to my mate's place. I was flirting with girl 3, so was my mate. I can be very witty and confident when im not inhibited. So I think ive created attracted with this girl, but im just mucking around.

They eventually hook up in the bathroom after mate#2 throws up lol. yum.

Anyway, they create a relationship quickly, and we all go out together constantly. Meanwhile, girl #3 and I continue to have extremely good chemistry, we constantly flirt and my mate just seems to ignore it (he trusts me completely I guess). This is, at times, obvious flirting.

For instance, she would sit on my lap sometimes when we were out, or she would dance with me and then tell me how horrible my dancing was. When we were all in the swimming pool once, she noticed and whistled when I had my shirt off (I was in much better shape, doing weights alot, and 10kgs lighter).

It seemed like she was almost as attracted to me as she was with him. My mate on the other hand is sleeping with her, but is not nearly as ****y, funny around her; probably just more alpha but much less entertaining.

I guess I became the court jester just by flirting with her alot.

Sometimes it felt like girl #3 who was rapidly becoming my friend's girlfriend was very attracted to me. At one point, we were out dancing in the city and she was grinding up against me, but I didn't respond physically. I leaned in and told her that my friend was a very good friend, implying I wouldn't do it to him. And she stopped. But I continued to feel the tension with her. My mate lets it go seemingly over his head, either hes unobservant or he trusts me.

My mate is quite old fashioned and after a few months, is already talking about marrying her but she is still a bit untamed... then something terrible happens. Her mother dies and she is incredibly grief stricken and she goes into shock. She insists that I come to the funeral, even though I only met her mother once in passing, she insists that it would make her feel better if I was there. So I go...feeling very out of place. I don't know anyone there except my mate + 1-2 friends and her. I comfort her at the funeral and then hang out with any mutual friend I can grab a hold of. She seems pleased with that, but she's still in shock. We go to the wake and have a few beers, and generally feel out of place again. This is starting to get to my mate #2, her boyfriend now.

Anyway, a couple of weeks pass, and she begins to withdraw herself. My mate doesn't handle it well, it begins to spiral, and he cannot do a single thing right regardless of what he does. They go away with each other over new year's eve alone, and fight the entire time, and spend it mostly apart. He keeps trying to commit her probably and she is still reeling and trying to gather herself. They breakup. I don't know what i'm supposed to do. At this point, she felt like a very good friend. She messages me once afterwards, a couple of weeks after the breakup. I message something trivial, and its the wrong thing, and she doesn't respond. She later removes me from facebook and we both never talk to her again. We see her at the pub one time, months and months later, we completely ignore each other. I assume she felt that I would never betray my friend and sleep with her, or as a friend, she thought I would always be more loyal to my mate, or she just didn't want me as a reminder. She was a bit of a reforming party girl when we met her, I dont know where she is now.


--to be continued

 

[Wildebeest]

- continued

Story 2- happened inside of the time frame of story 1.

Girl #3 is the girl above.

Girl #3 eventually learns that i'm a virgin and have never had a girlfriend; and then decides to make it her mission to get me a girl. This eventually leads to an opportunity with one of her friends who is very outspoken, outgoing, attractive, blonde and brittish; girl #4. I go to the girl#4's party, make light talk with all of her friends, and go home early...without thinking....without drinking much... without talking to her much...

Girl 4, the brit, later tells my friend's girlfriend (girl #3) after the party, that she wanted to 'snog me badly' or make out...but Anyway 2-3 weeks pass and I fail to act, I add her on facebook, play scared (old patterns perhaps). During this time, I wonder how do I hit this girl up if she wants to hookup. She is kinda pretty but not very classy...but I dont care much.

So after that 2-3 weeks pass, we all meet up again at girl #4's unit. So I spend half the night trying to chat up girl #4 and makeup for lost time, but im oblivious.

Anyway, one of the guy's at the party last time who I actually got along with well, has already moved in on girl #4, and they start cuddling and kissing in front of me. I'm left to guess, it must have happened in the 2-3 weeks that I let slip by. I immediately become upset and somewhat angry, I want to leave asap. All of this is classic loser behaviour I already know. I actually leave the apartment with 2 of her random friends ive only met twice (a gay guy whos cool and a girl whos a bit older than me but theres no spark) and we hit the local nightclub. Dance and bit and drink a bit, and the catch a cab. They actually invite me in to where theyre staying, and I decline politely, not knowing whats up. I go home. The end. I never hang out with girl #4 or her circle after that.


Story 3:
This story is more faded in my memory...
This happened around 2-3 years ago, before the first two stories.

I had been feeling particularly lonely and inept with girls, and I was going out in the city for a birthday party of a girl I knew from uni who had a boyfriend. We are in the city and we eventually head to an obnoxious nightclub with extremely loud music.

Anyway, my mindset from the start of the night was pure aggression and focus. I told myself that the entire purpose of the night was to get rejected as many times as was humanly possible, not to get a girl, not to hookup or get a number or anything, just to push the limits until I get rejected. As long as theyre attractive and female, they are qualified to reject me lol

So I start drinking and doing some shots with mate #1
Then I start going through this friend from uni's girlfriends, one by one. Everytime, being dominant with strong eye contact, saying what I want without thinking. Surprisingly they don't reject me, I leap-frog from one to the other and they begin buying into my bull**** frame. But it wasnt bull**** in the sense that my only goal was to be rejected and I was true to that.

I was talking to this tall pretty girl after talking to her other friends. At some point, I ordered her to stand up, to see how tall she was, which she complies to immediately. I did this completely on selfish impulse, I don't want her if she is alot taller than me and to test if she will.
I then tell her she is way too tall for me (she was by a little bit), and I disappear to the bar for another drink. So these actions lead nowhere, and I didnt care.

Some time passes in the nightclub, and im drinking on the lounge while this hot girl walks past. She is talking to this other couple (who turn out to be her sister and her boyfriend's best friend I THINK), she may be trying to convince them to stop what they're doing. I actually forget what the drama was, but she and her friends were complete strangers to me. I am more drunk now, but im I feel good. I somehow open her but it felt like I did it non-verbally with strong eye contact.

We begin flirting or talking, I forget which. She eventually sits down next to me, and we keep flirting. We may explain what the drama was but I forget. My mindset is somewhere very sexual and masculine for the first time in my life. My bodylanguage is very good, confident, sexual and my eyes stay intense. Our conversation quickly runs through a variety of things, building comfort, she asks what I do, where I live; which I gloss over quickly. Both of us live in the same general area outside of the city. Whatever she tells me about herself, I try to spin it someway, and its working.

We are get along very well, I feel like im beginning to hypnotise her with my eyes and my voice. The music is soo fvcking loud that we each must lean into each other's ears to talk to each other. Each time I do it, I consciously try to turn her on, by speaking slowly in her ear, smelling her hair, breathing on her neck. She responds well to this, we are mirroring each other now. What i'm saying now is becoming increasingly apologetically sexual. It feels like we're slowing down and heating up. She shows me a tattoo on her thigh, by pulling up her dress, and I say something I forget.

Suddenly she starts telling me that she has a boyfriend, almost as if I have triggered something in her. I just smirk subtly and verbally ignore it, maybe I gave a slight shrug. I just keep ploughing through this resistance. I think she says it a few times. I didn't know what to say, but I just didn't care. My moral view was that she is free to choose what she wants, and im not hurting anyone that I'm friends with. She eventually stops saying it, somehow reconciling it internally and not rejecting me. I continue to be sexual with her.

Anyway, my friends start leaving, a couple say goodbye, at which point, I notice my mate #1 is sitting across from us, watching my interaction with this girl. He is watching probably because he's bored and hes interested in whether ill pull it off. I suddenly become more self conscious because I know I dont know what to do now and people have noticed...I have never been here before, and this girl never chose to reject me at any point. In fact, its clear that I have turned this girl on heavily, almost against her will.

So I guess that I should try to get her number and meet her at a later date. So I ask her for her number, and she tells me in my ear, but I cant hear her. She tells me again and I cant hear her. Im becoming self-conscious that I should be able to hear her or something, I start getting nervous, and retarded. I finally just pretend that I hear her number but I do not. I key it in wrong. In hindsight, I royally fvcked all of this up. I should have just made a move on her, and just ate her face....or just given her the phone to key it in. lol But option 1 is much better. Since she probably just wants to get away with something, not change boyfriends. I never get her number and she disappears into the night. I dont see her again. She was very hot, she lived near I lived, and I had her. But I didnt know how to make it happen after getting to that point...

I have neither been able to consciously re manufacture what I did that night...

Conclusions:

God i am ****ing hopeless. It is clear that everytime ive been close, I just self-sabotage from lack of experience or becoming self-conscious.

These stories occasionally haunt me and in my weak moments, fill me with some regret.
Ill understand if you guys didn't read all that stuff, it felt good to write it down.

As for my past and current intentions with girls. Ive never wanted to just simply take what I can get and sleep around. I could almost certainly not be a virgin right now, had I chose that. However recently, after making out with that random girl and giving in to myself, Im not so sure I should be so discriminating with girls I try to sleep with. I guess im confused.

Dont you guys dare say TL; DR,
Will

 

[Wildebeest]

Guys i should probably have responded better to your responses as well. I took what I could from them.

Im being too considerate, and im not acting as if we're both are sexual beings
Im getting too ahead of myself with the bull****
Im building too much comfort and not enough attraction
Im being too honest
Im doing too much for her emotionally for nothing

 

[Wildebeest]

she just told me I was a good listener, lol fvck

 

[Wildebeest]

So ive been flirting with the thai bird over facebook and the sms still. Not the best I know. Im just trying to make sure the interest/chasing is mutual, which I think it is...
Im trying to balance the comfort with being more sexual and flirty. I started to shut down on the advice bull**** she is getting from me, I dont need just a friend.


We were going to have drinks tonight but she cancelled earlier in the week. I just played it cool and went out drinking with my friends last night, she was working late.

So after having too many drinks, I came on facebook and talked to her at like 2 am last night. I said some stupid s-hit but it turned out okay because she said she found me cute when im drunk...I keep getting emotional lately for some reason. The reason I got emotional last night was because I was talking to old school friends, particularly my best friends girlfriend, we were close but not much over last 2 years, but last night we were having a heart to heart. My mates gf is very pretty and has always had faith in me getting girls, despite no results. She was there saturday and she was kinda proud of me for being a man*****- cause its out of character. Anyway thats a bit off topic.

That was yesterday
Tonight this is what happened
So thai girl mentioned that she had a nice dream and that it was a secret. I cant resist, so I start asking her about it on sms. Goes like this

Me: you have to tell me your dream
her: you want to know? no no no its a secret LoL haha
Me: Hah plzzzzz, how secret?
...
Me: You may get something if you tell me
Her: LOL haha Will... Fine.. I will let you know but just a little haha....
Her: I dream about happiness LOL... So could I get something from you? lol
Me: you dont get much for that maybe a kiss
Me Tell me later
Her: LOL..haha tell what? more story?
Me: not if its boring...

...
she hints that its a secret and we implicitly agree its more fun if she doesnt tell me, I agree.


you get the idea
she asks what im doing and I tell her not much, I may go for a run later... and I ask what shes doing, and she says shes seeing a good friend she hasnt seen in 3 months whos going to cook dinner (girl) and thats why she couldnt see me for a drink.

Me: That will be good for you

the end.


So I think we are vibing alright...I was starting to get really turned on by her during this convo...gave me lots of good feelings...

how am I handling this? Ideas?

I think she was dreaming of me, especially because she was said she was sad b4 she met me...

Will

 

[pdx1138]

she asks what im doing and I tell her not much, I may go for a run later...

no.

You're a busy guy with a good life....never tell a woman "not much" or "nothing" or "bored"

 

[Wildebeest]

Ok so next time ill be slightly evasive/mysterious without being rude