To anyone who will listen

[Wildebeest]

UPDATE!!!! last saturday night

So..i continued to flirt with this thai girl over text since we met up
She did cancel on me the Saturday before last, like I mentioned a couple of posts ago, to have dinner with her friend. And she was working pretty much every other day.

So last week, ( 1 week after the cancel) I was going to be in the city to have dinner and drinks with a group of friends, I invite her to attend, however she says she cant, she is going out for the birthday of the same friend, who the cousin of her ex. She says she might be able to meet up later in the night, but if she cant make it, she asks me not to be angry...I respond by saying

"It's up to you,
I won't be angry"

Anyway, fast forward to Saturday, and I have been ignoring the thai girl for a few days since her interest level seemed lower. I decide if she doesn't come out, its fine, I will just hit on the single friends of friends who are at the dinner/drinks. Anyway, im on the train, on the way in, and she messages me: asking how I am, and telling me that her plans were interrupted, and she wants to come out with her friend (birthday girl) for drinks after we finish our dinner. I tell her, ill keep her apprised of where we go to drink, and I start teasing her some. We flirt a bit.

Dinner goes well, sangria for all (spanish), everyone's having a good time and getting tipsy. I don't really connect with the 2 single girls at the dinner, who are both white like me lol. One of them was recently burnt and has like constant ***** shield up - whom I just deem too much work...lol. The other one is very homely looking and doesn't attract my interest. Still lots of fun.

We head out for drinks, I let the thai girl know where we're going. Its getting on now, dinner was 7 to 10pm. We keep drinking, we have a solid group of about 7-8. The thai girl eventually arrives around 11 I think. She has two asian girlfriends with her. There are very cheap drinks, and im at the bar already, so I order a round. She asks for just a beer, but I buy her something nicer. And I get her friend a random beer lol. She wants to pay for herself, but I tell her to get me the next one.

The 2 groups merge and we end up on the dance floor. Our group has an excellent vibe, we're right in front of the DJ, and dancing hard. Everyone knows whats up between the thai girl and I, so we're constantly getting the winks and looks. I spin her around a couple of times, I dont know what else to do. We're all having a good time though. Just very loose and relaxed. She asks what I want and buys me my drink back. I feel like I need to isolate her, and my friends are trying to help, but her friends are very clingy to her. I feel an urge to grab her hand and lead her somewhere quiet to sit down but I don't.

Anyway, she goes to the toilet, I msg her, telling her I am deaf in here ( loud music), and ask where she is. She replies. We meet up, and I get her to sit down away from the dance floor, in a darker, quieter spot. We're both nervous, but I maintain strong eye contact, which she has trouble meeting. I laugh when she looks away a few times. I take her hand, and tell her ill read her palm. Ive never done this, I am just winging it haha. I wanted to break down the touch barrier and make her relax. I start talking some bull**** while smiling, telling her this line means she will live a long and happy life etc. She keeps asking me, "what else....?" and shes loving it. I say that it says she might meet someone who is amazing soon, and she may have already have met him. I start to rotate my gaze from her eyes to her lips.

I go in, somehow we start kissing. Its nice but feels awkward, I don't know where to put my hands. I think she breaks it. A few more moments pass, then we start kissing again. She gets a little harder, I reciprocate. To mix it up, I kiss her on the side of her neck, a little harder. . We stop for a bit.She tells me shes shy a couple of times. Her friends are looking for her, I go to the bar and get us a couple more drinks. We see our friends again, they're starting to go home already, its about 1-1.30 am.

We sit down again, but she tells me she wants to go home (she lives a 10 min walk away in a sharehouse), for some reason, I dont ask her to stay out longer. I think she was nervous because of where it was leading and due to her friends were leaving. When we are saying good bye to everyone, standing up, we are playing around more. The vibe is that she is the annoying younger sister, I twist her arm slightly to give her a burn, and she does it back to me and asks if it hurts...

most of my friends are gone, its just my brother and a mate who stay there, I tell them, ill let them know what happens.

I offer to walk her home, she accepts. I walk her home. we kiss when we get there. I don't notice any signals as an invite and I don't ask to come in...
She goes inside, I walk back to the place we were drinking.
She msgs me, asking me to msg her when I get home safe. I cant get back in, its 2 am, its shut, my bro and friend come out and we party on, and end up at the casino at 3 am. I message her at 3am, saying "I'm at the casino, pick a number", she replies good luck and wants me to buy her an ice cream next time? lol wtf (she still up at 3 am?)

I win a bit, we catch a cab, I go to bed at 6 am lol

We've exchanged a couple of random msgs over the couple of days past.

One more thing, when I tease her, she jokingly tells me that im 'bad' or that she 'hates' me. I tell her that I hate her more with cheek and etc.

I feel alot more confident with all girls atm...like im charged up...feels good.

What are some steps I could take from here? I dont know what im doing

-Will

 

[Wildebeest]

Ok sooo its over, and im okay.
***Update****

This is regarding the thai girl (girl #1)
I continued to flirt with her over text, and I then took her out to the movies to see twilight. I was chatting with her while walking to the cinema and in line, and we were getting along pretty well. I got in there, and realised that I had picked the worst movie imaginable in terms of creating awkwardness haha
there was like the perfect wedding, then a prolonged sex scene, and then a horrible, grotesque birth scene. Im pretty sure the movie was actually a anti-sex before marriage advertisement. I chose seats up the back, in case we wanted to be affectionate.

I stretch out my body subtly, but no cheesy stereotypical behind ur shoulders move (big gap between seats actually, it looked like the grand canyon). I did this to try to get a read on her, and to see if she would respond at all. Right from the start, I perceived her body language as tight, and closed. I would glance over to her occasionally to see if she was doing the same, she wasnt. She crossed her legs mostly through the entire movie, and kept recrossing them every 5-15 minutes in the opposite direction. Which I think means she felt conflicted. Nothing happens.

She tells me she has to go in around 1/2 an hour to an hour. I take her into the timezone that was just outside the cinema. We play a car racing machine together, where I proceed to continually ram her and successfully fishtail her. im laughing a bit while I do this. I think shes enjoying it. I get her to pick something out with the tickets, she gets a cool looking pen. Then she says she has to go. I felt awkward, so I dont hug or kiss her goodbye.

Same day
I go out that night to strike bowling (nightspot + bowling) with a big group of friends, which I organized. I did invite her, and she originally agreed to come and only drink (she dislikes bowling), then she kept changing her mind. I didnt get angry, I just told her to suit herself and that she was missing out on fun. The girl #1 didnt message me at all after the movie, and has starting to ignore me. I have fun anyway, and try flirting on the random girl (girl #2) in our group. But I get ****-blocked by two other guys and give up. One is an annoying AFC who follows her around like a pup and buys her drinks. The other is a few years older than me, quietly spoken and can pass as alpha. She is interested in the latter guy, not in me at all.

A day or two pass, I ignore the thai chick (girl #1), and she ignores me. She tells me shes busy if I do try to initiate on fb. I instinctively know something is wrong with her. She eventually tells me she wants to be honest with me. She says she sees her ex when she goes out with friends and that she still loves him. But the ex hasn't taken her back. I tell her that he doesn't love her, and probably willl use her and throw her away again. I ask her if she is interested in me or not. She says that she is partly, but she doesnt want to use me to replace him, and that she just wants to be friends with me now. I tell her I cannot do that, I thank her for the time I was with her, and I tell her I am removing her from facebook now. She thanks me too and apologises again. I remove her. The end. No contact.

Shes going back home to thailand for a month today.

It did hurt a bit. She was the one chasing me to start, she added me on facebook. She asked me out. I wasnt sure if I liked her. Then as soon as shes start to grow on me, she rejects me and says she still has feelings for her ******* cheating piece of **** ex.

So Im still not sure if it was simply her emotional baggage or whether I caused this from showing too much interest. Maybe both.
I felt angry at the time but I didnt really lose my cool when I was talking to her.

So I actually feel like I grew and learnt a little bit from the experience. And its actually inspired me to try harder with all girls.

Im considering asking out a girl Ive known a long time, who is recently single, and we have decent chemistry sometimes. I dont know if she likes me like that, but we arent close friends and we seem to get along when we do see each other.

Also, I joined a couple of free dating sites and put up a profile. plenty of fish, and oasis active. Ive been completely true to my own image of myself.

I feel like if I go backwards, I am going to die, I just want to grow

Will

 

[Wildebeest]

Ok sooo its over, and im okay.
***Update****

This is regarding the thai girl (girl #1)
I continued to flirt with her over text, and I then took her out to the movies to see twilight. I was chatting with her while walking to the cinema and in line, and we were getting along pretty well. I got in there, and realised that I had picked the worst movie imaginable in terms of creating awkwardness haha
there was like the perfect wedding, then a prolonged sex scene, and then a horrible, grotesque birth scene. Im pretty sure the movie was actually a anti-sex before marriage advertisement. I chose seats up the back, in case we wanted to be affectionate.

I stretch out my body subtly, but no cheesy stereotypical behind ur shoulders move (big gap between seats actually, it looked like the grand canyon). I did this to try to get a read on her, and to see if she would respond at all. Right from the start, I perceived her body language as tight, and closed. I would glance over to her occasionally to see if she was doing the same, she wasnt. She crossed her legs mostly through the entire movie, and kept recrossing them every 5-15 minutes in the opposite direction. Which I think means she felt conflicted. Nothing happens.

She tells me she has to go in around 1/2 an hour to an hour. I take her into the timezone that was just outside the cinema. We play a car racing machine together, where I proceed to continually ram her and successfully fishtail her. im laughing a bit while I do this. I think shes enjoying it. I get her to pick something out with the tickets, she gets a cool looking pen. Then she says she has to go. I felt awkward, so I dont hug or kiss her goodbye.

Same day
I go out that night to strike bowling (nightspot + bowling) with a big group of friends, which I organized. I did invite her, and she originally agreed to come and only drink (she dislikes bowling), then she kept changing her mind. I didnt get angry, I just told her to suit herself and that she was missing out on fun. The girl #1 didnt message me at all after the movie, and has starting to ignore me. I have fun anyway, and try flirting on the random girl (girl #2) in our group. But I get ****-blocked by two other guys and give up. One is an annoying AFC who follows her around like a pup and buys her drinks. The other is a few years older than me, quietly spoken and can pass as alpha. She is interested in the latter guy, not in me at all.

A day or two pass, I ignore the thai chick (girl #1), and she ignores me. She tells me shes busy if I do try to initiate on fb. I instinctively know something is wrong with her. She eventually tells me she wants to be honest with me. She says she sees her ex when she goes out with friends and that she still loves him. But the ex hasn't taken her back. I tell her that he doesn't love her, and probably willl use her and throw her away again. I ask her if she is interested in me or not. She says that she is partly, but she doesnt want to use me to replace him, and that she just wants to be friends with me now. I tell her I cannot do that, I thank her for the time I was with her, and I tell her I am removing her from facebook now. She thanks me too and apologises again. I remove her. The end. No contact.

Shes going back home to thailand for a month today.

It did hurt a bit. She was the one chasing me to start, she added me on facebook. She asked me out. I wasnt sure if I liked her. Then as soon as shes start to grow on me, she rejects me and says she still has feelings for her ******* cheating piece of **** ex.

So Im still not sure if it was simply her emotional baggage or whether I caused this from showing too much interest. Maybe both.
I felt angry at the time but I didnt really lose my cool when I was talking to her.

So I actually feel like I grew and learnt a little bit from the experience. And its actually inspired me to try harder with all girls.

Im considering asking out a girl Ive known a long time, who is recently single, and we have decent chemistry sometimes. I dont know if she likes me like that, but we arent close friends and we seem to get along when we do see each other.

Also, I joined a couple of free dating sites and put up a profile. plenty of fish, and oasis active. Ive been completely true to my own image of myself.

I feel like if I go backwards, I am going to die, I just want to move forward

Will

 

[ArcBound]

But then because we both had way too much to drink, it ended. And im happy to leave it at that.

Lol brah this is how most one night stands occur!

I never had the chance to say goodbye to the thai girl, and apparently I upset her somewhat, which I feel slightly bad about.

Don't feel bad, you have no obligation she's not your GF right now.

So I wake up the next day, with no recollection of how I got home, (my brother got me home), and I find this thai girl has added me on facebook, and messaged me. She wants to have a drink with me. (ive actually never been on a date). I start talking to her and we get along alright. She's pursuing me quite hard, shes already asked me to have dinner with her last night, which I declined with some lame excuse that I was hungover. We've exchanged numbers...and I have talked to her a bit more on facebook. Apparently shes just come out of a relationship where her best friend cheated on her. She told me shes having trouble sleeping lately.

That's depressing stuff. But IMO stop talking so much about what makes her sad and go on another date or party with her. She's depressed but she can go to a party, get drunk and meet new guys. Just don't talk about it too much and have a good time and she'll forget about it when she's with you.

So I have alot of mixed feelings right now...I am very confused. I am attracted to her, but I don't know what I want. I don't want to hurt her any worse than she's obviously been recently.

Once again you have no obligations. You weren't her best friend. You weren't her boyfriend. You were not the one that put her in a sh!tty mood. Get that in your head.

If you keep moving forward with tippitoes afraid of hurting her you'll never amount to anything. Just continue on and let the cards fall where they may. Sure she might get hurt, but then she might have the time of her life with you. Stop putting thoughts in your head that you are somehow hurting her.

Im also concerned as to how compatible we are in the longer term...shes thai, and im a white australian. Also worried about whether she is actually attracted to me or she just wants an Australian boyfriend with potential to live here?

You can never tell. You just have to gain insight into her character over time and there is no use constantly worrying about this.

I dont know how the families may react...not sure if my family would approve?

Whether this girl is a quality woman is irrespective of her race. If she's a quality Thai girl keep her.

maybe I think too much?

Yeah

will

Dude seems like you had a good time, made out with people, got a girl chasing you, but you have all these thoughts in your head. Stop doubting yourself, and doubting things, it is detrimental.

 

[ArcBound]

...

 

[Wildebeest]

hahah its the thought that counts