Tips for when you like a girl at the gym

[Chuck Taylor]

She was only squatting like 60lbs and leg pressing 90 lbs lmao. She was tall and thin. Great body, not thotty or wearing much makeup either. Definitely my type.

Ahh okay. I had this image of a chick that looks like she take creatine.

 

[sangheilios]

Bumping this thread instead of making yet another topic about this.

Today I went to the gym shortly after getting laid and hyped up on a quality preworkout. Was doing some squats, and some chick was giving very strong IOIs (the kind you can just tell in your gut) and she walked over and started using the squat machine by me, then the leg press behind me. Clearly she wanted me to talk to her. Then when I saw her walking away she actually looked sad and disappointed.

Anyone else relate to this? I am beating myself up over it. I have absolutely no idea how to handle gym approaches.

I normally don't bother...I prefer traditional club/bar approaches, or even street approaches. But the idea of gym approaches never sat right with me. I've only ever done it 1 real cold approach at the gym and it went very poorly, so it kind of put me off.

I've done several approaches in the gym environment, my last one was over 3 years ago, and all but one of them turned into being a very bad situation for me. I'm not saying this to discourage you, just going to give you some input from someone with experiences related to this.

Pretty much all of my approaches I essentially just walked up to them and asked them what their names were and attempted small talk. None of them really gave me any IOIs that I was aware of but they also weren't clearly looking to avoid men. These are pretty obvious, but if she is wearing a baseball cap, always staring at the ground avoiding eye contact, etc. you know to just not bother. I usually did not ask for the number the first time interacting with them and usually just let them go back to working out and would reengage with them the next time I saw them, if they are a regular of any sort you will probably run into them.

Now, here is the bad part. Many women in this environment, especially today with the instagram attention whoring, are quite honestly looking for validation and attention. I had one that approached me after my first interaction with her, we talked about what we liked to do and we were supposed to go hiking and exchanged numbers. She flaked on our date and then ghosted me for a week but when I saw her after she was flirty, etc. Long story short, she was just an attention ***** that did this to tons of men regularly. I had another instance where a woman rejected me and I said "nice to meet you" and walked off. This particular woman went OUT of her way to engage with me, flirt, etc. and basically just tried to lead me on for attention. I had another one that was a bit older than me that was in a relationship and would ask me out but then said she had to mention she was not single, she kept doing this repetitively.

Lesson to be had, if they are flakey, leading you on and not falling right into place for you move on. It's honestly fairly easy to filter these women out. If she is going out of her way to toy with you after rejection or whatever, I'd honestly make it very clear that you don't want her to be interacting with you. Crazy chicks do crazy things lol, just don't take any of it seriously.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I've done several approaches in the gym environment, my last one was over 3 years ago, and all but one of them turned into being a very bad situation for me. I'm not saying this to discourage you, just going to give you some input from someone with experiences related to this.

Pretty much all of my approaches I essentially just walked up to them and asked them what their names were and attempted small talk. None of them really gave me any IOIs that I was aware of but they also weren't clearly looking to avoid men. These are pretty obvious, but if she is wearing a baseball cap, always staring at the ground avoiding eye contact, etc. you know to just not bother. I usually did not ask for the number the first time interacting with them and usually just let them go back to working out and would reengage with them the next time I saw them, if they are a regular of any sort you will probably run into them.

Now, here is the bad part. Many women in this environment, especially today with the instagram attention whoring, are quite honestly looking for validation and attention. I had one that approached me after my first interaction with her, we talked about what we liked to do and we were supposed to go hiking and exchanged numbers. She flaked on our date and then ghosted me for a week but when I saw her after she was flirty, etc. Long story short, she was just an attention ***** that did this to tons of men regularly. I had another instance where a woman rejected me and I said "nice to meet you" and walked off. This particular woman went OUT of her way to engage with me, flirt, etc. and basically just tried to lead me on for attention. I had another one that was a bit older than me that was in a relationship and would ask me out but then said she had to mention she was not single, she kept doing this repetitively.

Lesson to be had, if they are flakey, leading you on and not falling right into place for you move on. It's honestly fairly easy to filter these women out. If she is going out of her way to toy with you after rejection or whatever, I'd honestly make it very clear that you don't want her to be interacting with you. Crazy chicks do crazy things lol, just don't take any of it seriously.

My 1st gym approach rejection happened with a girl exactly how you described. I conflated her attention/validation seeking with interest, so I definitely get that.

Today was different though, the IOIs were palpable. The gym was actually pretty empty too so it would have been a good time. I am at the point now I can almost always tell the difference between a girl who's just friendly or wants attention vs a girl who is geniunely interested.

 

[sangheilios]

My 1st gym approach rejection happened with a girl exactly how you described. I conflated her attention/validation seeking with interest, so I definitely get that.

Today was different though, the IOIs were palpable. The gym was actually pretty empty too so it would have been a good time. I am at the point now I can almost always tell the difference between a girl who's just friendly or wants attention vs a girl who is geniunely interested.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it, it's just a bit different from other places you might meet women because it creates the possibility of getting out of hand very easily. I believe a lot of these women that lead men on in this environment are just attention *****s, as I mentioned, or they feel that it's better to reject a man indirectly to avoid awkwardness. Either way, I feel that a man should just be very sensitive to any of these warning signs and quickly move on and cut her off. I see women all the time at the gym taking butt selfies and doing all sorts of this ig attention ***** nonsense, it's not all that hard to spot these women.

 

[SW15]

She was only squatting like 60lbs and leg pressing 90 lbs lmao. She was tall and thin. Great body, not thotty or wearing much makeup either. Definitely my type.

Missed opportunity

I've done several approaches in the gym environment, my last one was over 3 years ago, and all but one of them turned into being a very bad situation for me. I'm not saying this to discourage you, just going to give you some input from someone with experiences related to this.

Pretty much all of my approaches I essentially just walked up to them and asked them what their names were and attempted small talk. None of them really gave me any IOIs that I was aware of but they also weren't clearly looking to avoid men.

You are 6'4" and muscular. Due to that, one would think that you would receive strong IOIs at the gym and you would have no issues finding dates at the gym.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Missed opportunity

It absolutely was. Even if nothing came of it, I would have given zero ****s just like with any other girl...but inaction itself is so painful, especially when opportunities are right in your face like that. My friend suggested I should've just said "hi" - it probably would have worked.

I get that gym approaches are risky...but it's all context-dependant. You can pickup any girl, anywhere, if the moment is right.

 

[DonJuanjr]

I had another one that was a bit older than me that was in a relationship and would ask me out but then said she had to mention she was not single, she kept doing this repetitively.

If she asked you out, I'd think you missed an easy lay. It sounds like she was just telling you that shes' dtf, but doesn't want you to have any kind of expectations.

 

[jimwho]

It absolutely was. Even if nothing came of it, I would have given zero ****s just like with any other girl...but inaction itself is so painful, especially when opportunities are right in your face like that. My friend suggested I should've just said "hi" - it probably would have worked.

When a girl likes you for whatever reason she's rarely going to just give up. You may have inadvertently strengthened her curiosity. Inaction is not missing an opportunity, especially at the gym where you will see her often guaranteed. I've been in situations where men are fawning over a girl and I would do the opposite, and that was what got her attention. I'd say let her keep chasing. And of course let down your guard.

 

[SW15]

My friend suggested I should've just said "hi" - it probably would have worked.

I get that gym approaches are risky...but it's all context-dependant. You can pickup any girl, anywhere, if the moment is right.

Sometimes, saying "hi" is enough. If you said "hi", she was high interest enough to carry things. "Hi" or "hello" and whatever you noticed about them is often good enough when you can't think of anything else to say.

The riskiest thing about gym approaches is what happens after things go bad.

If the approach goes bad and you have to keep seeing her repeatedly, that's going to be unpleasant. I've had that happen at a gym before. Same story if you happen to go on a date from a woman at the gym and it ends after 1-3 dates.

If the approach goes well and a relationship ensues, that's good for as long as the relationship goes on. Once the relationship ends, one of you will end up finding a new gym.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

When a girl likes you for whatever reason she's rarely going to just give up. You may have inadvertently strengthened her curiosity. Inaction is not missing an opportunity, especially at the gym where you will see her often guaranteed. I've been in situations where men are fawning over a girl and I would do the opposite, and that was what got her attention. I'd say let her keep chasing. And of course let down your guard.

This is true, but my gym is massive, and I almost never see the same person twice.

 

[SW15]

This is true, but my gym is massive, and I almost never see the same person twice.

That is impressive. One advantage of big box gyms like 24 Hour Fitness or LA Fitness is that in larger cities, they have numerous locations. If you happen to have some bad interactions with women at one location of the chain, you can go to another one for a bit.

 

[nismo-4]

I approached a girl who is a personal trainer at my gym. Got her IG. A couple of days later - I asked her out and she agreed. At the day of the date she flaked. No reply from my side. After a week or two - she unfollowed me from her IG. Did the same. Yesterday saw her at the gym - simple “Hi” from my side. No hard feelings no awkward moments.
Apparently she is single mom around 30-33 I guess, and we all know what to expect from them

And before that I approached a girl who works like a gym assistant. Got her IG, asked out in a couple of days. She had bf. I replied no worries. Still chat with her once we see each others.

The first one was an attention wh0re. The second one was taken because she didn't find you attractive.

Get numbers, not IG pages. Unless you have a blue check or are some celebrity, don't take a woman's IG. That's just another way she'll have to disqualify you.

Still being cordial with these girls? I wouldn't say anything at all. That cordial stuff is still attention from you, and will either get you friendzoned or used for beta roles that Chad won't do.

 

[SW15]

The riskiest thing about gym approaches is what happens after things go bad.

If the approach goes bad and you have to keep seeing her repeatedly, that's going to be unpleasant. I've had that happen at a gym before. Same story if you happen to go on a date from a woman at the gym and it ends after 1-3 dates.

If the approach goes well and a relationship ensues, that's good for as long as the relationship goes on. Once the relationship ends, one of you will end up finding a new gym.

One of the most unpleasant rejections I got was in a gym. I stopped one of the most fit yet still feminine looking women at my gym at the time on the general gym floor. I asked her out for drinks during our 2nd conversation in a 4 day period. I got some horse shiit story about a recent breakup, which I knew was completely false because she'd been living in the city for something like 6-7 months at the time I approached. I later confirmed it was false when about 6 weeks later I saw her in the grocery store shopping with some guy. I ended up changing my time to go to the gym for a few months to avoid her. I did end up seeing her at the gym for years after. I haven't seen her at the gym in 2-3 years so I'm guessing she's found a new gym by now.

 

[Barrister]

I have always put "gym game" into the "long game" category. I think if you are very aggressive in approaching OR if you are making multiple approaches, you can quickly become that guy at the gym who gets a negative reputation and possibly even gets a complaint (I have seen this happen before).

I DO think you can game at the gym. But I think it needs to be more subtle and you build it up slowly to ensure mutual interest. Most women are not going to be receptive while they are working out, but some will be. The best way to do it is to simply start up a normal conversation and be friendly and charming. I wouldn't lay it on heavy at all. Do this 2-3 times and then ask for the number after you have built up a rapport.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I have always put "gym game" into the "long game" category. I think if you are very aggressive in approaching OR if you are making multiple approaches, you can quickly become that guy at the gym who gets a negative reputation and possibly even gets a complaint (I have seen this happen before).

I DO think you can game at the gym. But I think it needs to be more subtle and you build it up slowly to ensure mutual interest. Most women are not going to be receptive while they are working out, but some will be. The best way to do it is to simply start up a normal conversation and be friendly and charming. I wouldn't lay it on heavy at all. Do this 2-3 times and then ask for the number after you have built up a rapport.

Would you mind going into a bit more detail on how this works? Most PUAs I know only teach straight up direct game. While that is very useful, I think indirect is a very useful tool in your toolbox so you don’t have to go direct like a bull in a China Shop all the time.

So you’re just talking normally and not “showing intent” or what not? (I feel like I was always really bad at trying to communicate my intent purely non verbally.) And then you just ask for the number and ask her out?

And with this method, she won’t be blindsided when you ask her out? She’ll know your intentions, and she won’t be caught by surprise when you make a move on the date?

I still don’t have a solid grasp on these concepts, and understanding them would really help my game out.

 

[Barrister]

Would you mind going into a bit more detail on how this works? Most PUAs I know only teach straight up direct game. While that is very useful, I think indirect is a very useful tool in your toolbox so you don’t have to go direct like a bull in a China Shop all the time.

So you’re just talking normally and not “showing intent” or what not? (I feel like I was always really bad at trying to communicate my intent purely non verbally.) And then you just ask for the number and ask her out?

And with this method, she won’t be blindsided when you ask her out? She’ll know your intentions, and she won’t be caught by surprise when you make a move on the date?

I still don’t have a solid grasp on these concepts, and understanding them would really help my game out.

You’re applying charm and being flirtatious but overall the conversation is purely friendly. I wouldn’t make it sexual at all - not even with undertones. Normally, you’re going to try to close for the number pretty fast. Not here IMO. Don’t ask for the number the first few times you talk. Build a rapport. Don’t even hint that you want to date her. Just talk to her in a friendly manner the first couple of times.

One thing about this that I think works well is you don’t have to ask for a “date” per se when you do a long game like this. On the 3rd or 4th conversation where you have been charming/flirtatious, tell her you’re thinking of checking out a place after your workout and invite her along. If it involves alcohol and she agrees you are going to be in a great spot. The nice thing is too you can apply this to more girls than one. You don’t get the “that guy” rep this way.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You’re applying charm and being flirtatious but overall the conversation is purely friendly. I wouldn’t make it sexual at all - not even with undertones. Normally, you’re going to try to close for the number pretty fast. Not here IMO. Don’t ask for the number the first few times you talk. Build a rapport. Don’t even hint that you want to date her. Just talk to her in a friendly manner the first couple of times.

One thing about this that I think works well is you don’t have to ask for a “date” per se when you do a long game like this. On the 3rd or 4th conversation where you have been charming/flirtatious, tell her you’re thinking of checking out a place after your workout and invite her along. If it involves alcohol and she agrees you are going to be in a great spot. The nice thing is too you can apply this to more girls than one. You don’t get the “that guy” rep this way.

Ok. That makes a lot of sense.

Then on your date, you do things as usual yeah? Kino, flirting, sexual escalation, and so on.

I just want to ensure that through this method, she doesn’t get blindsided. That it’s not like “Surprise, I have a pen!s and I want to sleep with you!” So she doesn’t freak out when you make a move lol. Or end up in the “Half Hour Conversation to Nowhere” as PUAs call it.

Though, I suppose you could consider asking her out on the date showing intent within itself, yeah?

 

[Hamurabimbi]

She was only squatting like 60lbs and leg pressing 90 lbs lmao. She was tall and thin. Great body, not thotty or wearing much makeup either. Definitely my type.

One of my ex-s did squats. She only did it for one reason. Same reason girls do kegals.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Gym is one of the very few places I have a hard No attitude. i just want to work out. And I leave others alone. I’ve never approached at the gym. I have been approached a few times. But nothings come of it.

 

[zinc4]

1.) Don't approach her when she is in the middle of a workout (obvious)

2.) Don't offer advice

3.) Start off small with eye contact and a smile and then progress to a hello and then a convo. You will see this woman at least once a week, no need to rush into an awkward conversation (let her warm up to you)

4.) Do not follow her around the gym "fishing" for eye contact or looking at her through the mirror.

5.) Pay attention to subtle moves by her. She will not approach you, but she will put herself in your proximity if there is mutual interest.

6.) Last but not least; DO NOT get oneitis over this girl. Other attractive women could be giving you IOI's and you might miss these if you are hung up one this one woman.

I honestly could care less about women at the gym. I go there on a mission. And by the time i finish my daily cardio and move to weights, im in the zone so to speak and sweating buckets.