Time to ask for her number...Been going to this cafe a while now (advice needed).

[RKTek]

Ask for her phone number for YOU, not her.

In other words, win, lose, draw, success or failure, you're speaking the words "Hey, what's your home phone number" in her direction, and clearly so she can hear it, for YOUR OWN SELF ESTEEM. The fact that there is a 10% (or less) chance that she'll respond with an answer you'd prefer to hear is beside the point.

Go in with ZERO (none, zip, nada, ixnay, nyet, null) expectation. Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

You will smile and mouth the words "Hey, what's your home phone number" the same as if you were talking to a parking meter.

 

[alboh]

Uhm...you talk to parking meters alot RKTek? Bah doom chink

Anyway good luck Drex.

 

[RKTek]

Originally posted by alboh
Uhm...you talk to parking meters alot RKTek? Bah doom chink

Anyway good luck Drex.

Actually I practice a lot with my inflatable dol...er, yeah, I talk to parking meters. Yeah, that's the ticket...PARKING meters. Yeah.

LOL.

 

[BGC]

Drex,

Here's what I would do if I saw a hot chick who works somewhere.

I would go in there with a hot chick that I am banging.

Here's why: The easiest way to get a girl interested in you is to HAVE HER SEE THAT OTHER CHICKS ARE INTO YOU.

I have a belief on getting numbers out in the day-to-day world: DON'T DO IT.

Don't ask for chicks numbers in the day-to-day world, like running errands, going to coffee shops, in malls, and more.

I believe you should concentrate on getting numbers in a pick-up environment, like bars, or clubs, or parties.

My reasoning is two-fold:

1. You never want to be seen going to someone and being rejected. Even outside of getting numbers, a key to power is TO NOT GO TO PEOPLE, BUT GET THEM TO COME TO YOU. It is astonishing how after a while if you continually apply this rule, the power that accrues to you. You develop in people's minds as someone who is in demand, and eventually people start coming to you.

2. And also, women in the day-to-day world are not often in a position to be asked out. If a woman is in the grocery store buying groceries, your chances of getting her number and inducing real interest in her in you as compared to seeing her in a bar, are low.



So I think one should concentrate on going to pick-up environements.

On the other hand, your day-to-day world will take you into contact with potential pusssy.

Which is the case you write about now. And so if I were in your position, I would wait for her to show some interest in you, beyond friendly conversation, as that would be required of her to give to everybody.

And then if you sensed she was into you, I would go in with a hot chick you are banging. This hot chick, because you are banging her, will in her actions toward you signal to other women present that you two are intimate.

I would not go in with a hot chick who you are not banging because other women in watching your observation with her will know you are not banging her.

* * *

Now, that is what I would do.

But see, I arrive at this course of action because I have already asked out hundreds of women in non-pickup environments and so I know first-hand what works and what doesn't.

And I fully believe in learning for oneself what works and what doesn't.

So if you do not know for yourself first-hand what works and what doesn't, I would say that you ought to DEFINITELY ASK HER OUT.

Possibly the best advice I have ever heard in terms of being successful with women was this:

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HER IF YOU WALK UP TO HER? THEN WALK UP TO HER AND LEARN WHAT NOT TO SAY.

God, what truth there is that advice, you know what I mean? What truth....

--BGC

 

[Drex]

BGC good info but there is just 1 problem. I am not banging any hot chics right now. I like that quote you put in though, very good!

The problem with waiting for her to show definate interest is that she is somewhat shy. I know she is shy just by the way she looks at people and talks softly. If she is interested she is waiting for me to make the first move so that's what I am gonna do.

 

[jakethasnake]

BGC,

That's not always true. My experiences say otherwise. I've gotten numbers on the street, in cafeterias, in restaurants. Some even lead to dates and making out/sex.


I wouldn't say that the odds of her saying "no" to your asking for her numbers are bad in an everyday situation.

But I would agree that the conversion (leading to intimacy) rate for everyday pick ups is lower. There's a reason for that.

Sometimes guys forget to put away the "pick up attitude" that they have in bars and clubs when they do everyday pickups. You have to have on that "innocent"/less forward+sexual face on when you pick a girl up in a cafe or bookstore. Because its a relative a-sexual environment, a very forward approach (that would have been acceptable in a club) comes off as threatening and blatant in these situations.

I believe that this is the reason that everyday pickups have low conversion rates for some guys. I realize this, and I tailor my game to suit the situation. In fact, every day pickups are the main way that I get numbers these days.

 

[Don-Wan Kenobi]

Ah, numbers.


I feel that my personal experiences support some of BGC's beliefs about when and where to ask for a number, and if you should even bother asking for a number.

I am probably not the most experienced member of this forum but I have a feeling we're on to something.

I have been told that I come across bold in person. I am a gutsy individual who has no problem asking a girl out on a date. My past month's attempts at opening and #closing girls at the bookstore or in the mall have been successful. However, all of them have flaked on me. That's right! They all agree to a game of pool or rollerblading at some later date & destination, and most of them even gave me a number where I could reach them. But none, NONE of them made plans or followed through to a date.

Here's what I think: I am particularly good at getting numbers and coming up with ideas for dates. In the history of DWK, there are very few girls I can remember who didn't give me their number. THE ONLY TIMES those numbers turned into dates or something physical however, were when the girls were really interested in me.

If you do not create, foster, amplify feelings of attraction or at least curiosity, getting the number means squat. I would argue no matter where you are.

Chicks will give you their number (usually) when you ask for it.

Chicks will make every effort to avoid you and or blow you off if they gave you their number but decide they are not interested.

Therefore, if you are looking to get laid, numbers in and of themselves mean nothing. If you have never asked a girl for her number, I recommend you do this and congratulate yourself on the outcome, no matter whether or not it leads to a date or something better.

But if closing for a woman's number is second nature to you as it is for me, it's time to put less of an emphasis on numbers, dating, and other ritual behaviors and greater emphasis on what you are doing to cultivate feelings attraction and desire.

I wish I could tell you all how to do that but that's kinda where I'm at myself so I won't talk out my _ _ _ until I feel I've mastered this area and that could be a while.

Good topic

DWK


BGC, you mention going for a # in a pu environment. This never occured to me. Could you elaborate on how pu environments lend themselves to #closes more so than outside world environments.

 

[rbd]

Originally posted by uniassign
RKTek,

Have you tried to PU busy waitresses before?

Walk in there, smile, and say "Hey, what's your home phone number?"

I doubt that would work. I don't mean to say that it won't, but to my field tested knowledge, this approach won't work.

In my experience, you will need to demonstrate that you are different from all the other customers before you can arouse her INTEREST.

GENERALLY, I am of this opinion. I've tried just snagging numbers before. Althought I was only turned down a few times, VERY few of the numbers I got actually translated into dates.

The method that uniassign advocates I think is more applicable to college-age chicks. Maybe RKTek has better luck making dates out of numbers gained with reletively little rapport with WOMEN his age (who more often realize they aren't the shyt anymore), but college chicks get hit on and asked out a lot of the time. I've found that you need to differenciate yourself from the rest, that's why I'm slower in my approaches and will build rapport, C&F, etc. for a few meetings with the girl before I actually go for a number (considerng I know I'll see her again).

Plus, there is always the boyfriend thing. I will admit, the one thing that ever stops me still is when I question if she has a BF or not in my head. However, there really isn't a reason for this...even if she does, she will remember that confident, persistent and ****y guy (i.e. you), and a lot of the time she will end up being interested in you when things with her BF are going downhill (or even before that)....this is saying that old bit of girls are like monkeys. It's your choice if you want to date or screw around with someone who does this....this is just what I've found so far.

Robby

 

[Doppler4000]

So, what happened??????????

 

[All_Torque]

I've tried just snagging numbers before.

Snagging? You conquer those numbers, not snag them!

 

[Drex]

Originally posted by Doppler4000
So, what happened??????????

I'm working all weekend and all day monday, wont have a chance to go until tuesday.

 

[BGC]

Jake,

The point I was making wasn't that you can't get numbers in non-pick-up environments. The point was that in developing a long-term reputation for yourself, you want to be seen as having people come to you, not you to them. And I think guys who are really, really in demand are not seen in grocery stores and dry cleaners and 7-11s asking girls out.

Don-Wan,

A pick-up environment is best for getting numbers because WOMEN GO TO THESE ENVIRONMENTS TO MEET GUYS. True, these environments are more competitive than a grocery store -- as guys who don't get laid often don't go to bars (and guys who do get laid sometimes don't go to grocery stores, it turns out, perhaps not relevantly for this argument, at any rate....).



Perhaps there is one exception to this rule that I can imagine. If there is a ridiculous 10 walking on the sidewalk and people see you visibly chatting her up, that might help your reputation. But anything less than a ridiculous 10 I don't think would.

--BGC

 

[loverbomb50]

Open Question

I think we need to work on your social skills. Like how to make her talk about herself..I read this I think it's called open-questions I post the link but I'm not sure where I found it... Instead of asking this girl like did ya ever go to Florida....U say have ya ever been to Florida, well ya look all brown and down like ya been there. you must have been all over the beach to get all brown.. u Dirty Dawg...Well this may not be the best example but it better than her asking a common question....And by the way If ya ask this girl out whatever ya do always have a back up plan...Like ya ask her out and she says
Her:Well you seem more like the type that I'd marry
You: Well you seem to me like the type "I'd do a ONE NIGHT STAND "
If she gives ya hard time give her hard time....and when ya ask her out try to make her laugh a little.....Hold eye contact and relax breath for god's sake
...and if someone in the back of the line is like rude to you and says something offending...offend em back by sayin "the last time I saw a face like yours I fed it a banana" remember women love "MEN"
Hope I help..Women love men who are in charge....
And remember that all of this didn't come from me....I posted what I found here from many people.....But Here's the Best tip... Read the BIBL...the DJ BIBLE.....it helps...

A winner says"It may be difficult but its possible" A loser says,"It may be possible but its too difficult"

 

[wheelin&dealin]

Originally posted by Drex
Now I've never asked a girl for her number before (all women I've dated have approached me)

What fantasy world do you live in?

 

[Drex]

Re: Re: Time to ask for her number...Been going to this cafe a while now (advice needed).

Originally posted by wheelin&dealin
What fantasy world do you live in?

Well lets just say I havent been with that many women...lol. My situation is very sad, I am a good looking guy. I work out regularly, I'm cut and I have a pretty face yet I have absolutely no skills with picking up women. Maybe it's not that I dont have the skills, it's more like I dont have the balls to USE the things I've learned. Women look at me all the time, and instead of talking to them I freeze up and do nothing.

 

[rbd]

Re: Re: Re: Time to ask for her number...Been going to this cafe a while now (advice needed).

Originally posted by Drex
Well lets just say I havent been with that many women...lol. My situation is very sad, I am a good looking guy. I work out regularly, I'm cut and I have a pretty face yet I have absolutely no skills with picking up women. Maybe it's not that I dont have the skills, it's more like I dont have the balls to USE the things I've learned. Women look at me all the time, and instead of talking to them I freeze up and do nothing.

Buddy, at some point you gotta take a plunge into some territory you're uncomfortable with. You'll go outside your comfort zone, but the feeling you'll feel which replaces the fear will be one of the most amazing ones in your life. I was in your shoes like 2 years ago...I'm good looking but I was very very shy.

I found out there is nothing you should worry about, she's not going to byte off your head. Jesus....you go out and get in a car or on a motorcycle (in my case) most every day where you could easily die in a horrific crash and you're worried about some FEMALE REJECTING YOU?

Do this: grab your balls, go up to some girl, and start talking to her. Doesn't really matter what you say, how you say it, bla bla bla, who cares. Also, it doesn't matter what she says (as if it ever does with women ). At some point, say bye and walk away. Don't go for the number or anything like that. Keep doing that and move up from there...start mixing in techniques, start closing, but you gotta start somewhere.

Awhile ago I wrote a thread that might help you out:

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16670

Good luck,

Robby

 

[One on One]

Drex,

I can relate...hardly talked to girls in HS, I was too shy. I didn't even ask out a girl until my senior year and I knew I was gonna get turned down (because she had a BF haha). I asked her to this dance, got turned down, got pissed off for about 3 hours, then felt ecstasy. It's a great feeling and it is a first step that must be taken. If need be, you can stop going to the cafe....nothing can go wrong...I hope you do this.

 

[backbreaker]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Time to ask for her number...Been going to this cafe a while now (advice needed).

What happened!!!

I seriously want to know.


Also, out of all the people, RKTek seems to "get it" more than anyone here.

The most important thing you can do is this: Look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Would you date yourself? Do you have anything to offer?


If you can't answer all yes to all three, then don't waste your time.

Even if she has a bf, you are YOU. YOu are the man. Remember that, he was just keeping her warm until you showed up. That's the attitude you have to have.

You can't go thoughout life looking for women without bf's. The ones who don't have them normally don't have them for a reason.

Every girl I know is dating someone. I don't think you heard me. EVERY WOMEN I KNOW IS DATING SOMEONE . Hell my grandmother has a boyfriend.


Feel thoose things you are trying to advoid? They are eggshells. Crush them

 

[Drex]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Time to ask for her number...Been going to this cafe a while now (advice needed)

Originally posted by backbreaker
What happened!!!

I seriously want to know.

I didnt have a chance to go yesterday was busy with other things, trust me I'm going asap and I will definately post results when it happens.

 

[One on One]

I've got a similar situation for tomorrow. I am going to be going to this coffee shop before I have class tomorrow night. There are 2 potential targets. First, I was focusing on Target A, but I haven't seen her in 2 weeks so now I'm prepared to go for Target A or B, whoever works tomorrow night. If they both work, I don't know what to do!!

The problem is I don't have any good openers for them.

Target A is a shy, cute girl who appears to be attracted to me. I haven't seen her but twice and not for a while so I think I can say something like, "Your name's not xxxxx, is it?" Then, make up some BS about she looks like a girl I used to know. See, she's unfamiliar enough with me that that line could work.

Then, there's Target B, who I'm more likely to see because I think she is there every Monday night. Now, Target B recognizes me as a sorta-regular and I have acknowledged her. Therefore, I can't all of a sudden say she reminds me of someone. Genuinely, she has a beautiful smile, very radiant. However, I am wary of opening with compliments.

Anybody have any good lines for Target B? What do you think of my line for Target A?

P.S. It's too bad Drex didn't approach. That would have been a nice case study.