Tihash's Daytime Approach Journal

[al77]

Originally posted by tihash
A few more approaches, but I'm not going to count them because they fizzled out immediately.

tihash,

You are doing some awesome things
I enjoyed reading your journal.
Here is a simple question (that may help you re-think the strategy): why don't you close in some cases?
I am thinking there was not enough rapport?
Well, how about thta David D method: start walking away.. say "ok,.. nice to meeting ya"... so basically she thinks you are gone. But then after several steps you turn around and ask for an email (David D) or maybe even some coffee?
"Have you tried <some not very known coffee drink>?
No.
Lets get together ... and..."
Why not to do it? You may catch her off guard so she may say get at least curious and say "yes" out of curiousity.

 

[tihash]

Yeah, I fail to attempt a close usually when I think there is not enough rapport. However, I know from past experience, that you can get a girl's number sometimes after only like 30 seconds.

So I think you're right... and to add to what you said, there is no reason not to close... why not ask for the number/email? Why not ask her to join you for coffee?

The worst outcome is nothing happens... and that is the outcome you have when you just bail and don't attempt the close.

I'll keep you posted as I make more approaches.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by tihash
Yeah, I fail to attempt a close usually when I think there is not enough rapport. However, I know from past experience, that you can get a girl's number sometimes after only like 30 seconds.
why not ask for the number/email? Why not ask her to join you for coffee?

I 100% agree with you: when there is no rapport or not enough of it, there seem no reasons to close. So if a guy would go for her number anyway, that would give him a bit weird feeling even if he succeeds.

What I am saying is why no to try to change the method of closing? If you don't get enough rapport, it will be unlikely that she'll pick up teh phone if you manage to get her number somehow. So we need.... more rapport. But there is no time, the convo is not going anywwhere... and number close doens't make sense.
So go for a coffee date! If she say No then it is clear what you have to do next. If she says yes, oh... then you have a chance to develop more rapport and in general it is a good thing to get a date.

But what if teh convo is not flowing in teh directing of a coffee date? Just pretend you are donw talking to her...start leaving... and suddenly "By the way, have you try that... I did, it is awesome, lets try it.....etc".
So you in fact creat a separate convo, that is not connect to the previous convo at all, i.e. you separate that "no enough rapport" part of teh convo and in a way start from scratch.

Anyway,

 

[tihash]

Approach updates

Non-Approach

My buddy and I were at Whataburger around 3 am Friday night, and there were 3 young girls there (probably less than 18). They were looking over at us, walking past us, etc the whole time we were there. We had no interest b/c of their ages, but just for kicks I approached them on the way out for practice.

It was worth it, because afterwards I realized I failed to smile when I first walked up. So sometimes it pays just to do it for practice.

APPROACH #14 (10/29/05)

Here in Tampa, we have a huge, Mardi-Gras style party (complete with parade, beads, flashing, and drinking on the street) each Halloween weekend called Guavaween. I went there with 2 friends.

I was dressed as Zorro.

On the way in, I notice a girl dressed as a school girl looking at me.

Tihash: Hey, I like your eyelashes (they were big, pink eyelashes)
HB: Thanks. I couldn't dress up too much b/c I have to work.
Tihash: Where do you work?
HB: XYZ Bar and Grill.
Tihash: Are you a bartender?
HB: No, I waitress. You should come up and see me tonight.
Tihash: What's your name?
HB: My name is HB.

SHe was walking briskly as we talked, so I didn't ask for her # (I will still count this as an approach). Later, a female friend in my group went to see if the HB was at the restaurant, and then I was going to go up and talk to her. Instead, my dumb bytch friend asks the HB if she remembers Zorro, HB says yes, and my friend says "Zorro wants your #" to which HB says she has a bf.

APPROACH #15 (10/29/05)

Walking down the street, this chick almost walks into me. We begin talking, and she says she is going to Bar X to meet her friends, and asks if I know where it is. I ask why she isn't in costume, etc. Then the following conversation ensues:

HB: What's your name?
Me: I'm Zorro, baby! What's your name?
HB: My name is HB. Really, what's your name?
Me: i'm Mr. Right.
HB: Seriously...
Me: I'm Tihash.
HB: What do you do?
Me: I please women.
HB: Wrong answer.
Me: Whatever... what do you do?
HB: blah blah blah
Me: What's your #? Maybe I'll call you later. (she complies)
I've got to get back to my friends. Give me a kiss.

And, she kisses me. We knew each other for less than 120 seconds. I am so glad I asked her to kiss me... I almost wussed out.

Bad News: I lost my fricking cell phone later that night, with her # (and everyone's number) in it!!!!!!!! Fellas, always back up your numbers on paper or in a PDA or something.

APPROACH #16 (10/31/05)

I'm in Wal-mart on my lunch break, and see HB8 in the linens aisle. After 90 seconds of procrastination, I go to her aisle, and am lucky she is still there. There are shower cutains in the aisle, and I ask her for her opinion between 2. She gives it to me. I fail to plow through and the convo dies. I say to myself "Screw that!" and re-open her with, "Why do some of them say they don't need a liner and others don't say that?" That then fizzles out. But she stays in the aisle. I then re-open again: "Oh, does that one you're picking out have like a picture on it?" This time we get a coversation going. We talk for about 10 minutes. She works in real estate, blah blah blah. She is hot. I got her # and left.

 

[tihash]

Long time

Wow, it is like looking in the mirror at a different person to read my old approaches.

I was in a LTR for over 2 years (hence no approaches). There was recently a bad breakup. I'm back in the game, but rusty as heck.

I am re-numbering, starting with #1. I am rusty, and need to re-learn what I had learned and allowed to fade away. I must regain my confidence!

Approach #1 (3/1/08)

I was in a bar with a buddy feeling bad for myself after the breakup. My goal was to approach one chick no matter what. I see a table of 3, and 2 chick go to the bathroom. I approach the one left. Talk to her less than 2 minutes, friends return, I ask for the # and get it. Makes me very happy to be back in the game.

Approach #2 (3/5/08)

At bookstore. Had chicked out about 5 times so far in the last week with daytime approaches.

See what I think is a young (18) hot girl in aisle with animal books. Wait way to long, enter her aisle. Instead of talking right away, look at other books. About 3 min in, I open her and say "Did you find something interesting?" It fizles out right away, but she looked at me and she was at least 22. Makes me feel better b/c I always underestimate age of girls because of my age (31).

Approach #3 (3/5/08)

Bookstore. I saw this okish girl HB6 walking around. Approach and ask if she found anything good. Answer is not really. Fizzles out.

Approach #4 (3/5/08)

A very cute, young girl is in self help aisle. I procrastinate and ask what she is looking for. She totally opens up, BIG SMILE, we talk briefly. I let it fizzle out, but I KNOW I could have and should have plowed on. IMPORTANT LESSON: SOme people will just be grumpy or biatches (approaches 2 and 3) and some people will be HAPPY to have me talk to them, like this girl did. Even though I didn't close, I am so happy I am approaching again.

Approach #5 (3/5/08)

HB7, late 20s, walks into my aisle looking at New Age. Open her with "find anything interesting" and it fizzles. Looking back at my old posts I am back to the old sticking point of not plowing through. PLOW THROUGH! Like I read someone say, "make the ho say no." Keep talking until the ice breaks or until she walks away! Words I MUST live by.

 

[j0n024]

....damn 2 years. Good luck dude hopefully youll get back in the swing of it in no time.

 

[qstorm501]

Welcome back tihash.. very entertainment journal .. i had a few chuckles while reading it ..I see your doing the public places / bookstores / gas stations sargeing thats where mostly all of mine too. I know how you feel about getting AA.. man there is been sometimes i wanted to approach and my heart started beating so fast that i dont think if somebody had a LOADED GUN pointed at my head i wouldnt have been as scared. Im getting kinda ballsier though . I think every approach i do compounds the realization that no HB is gonna yell at you and SAY GET OUTTA MY FACE YOU FREAK!!. Every HB who has declined my approach has been nice and friendly as they did it.

A couple questions about your LTR ..

How did you meet her? was it through your approaches? I bet you prob met her through your social circle Ive never had a LTR result ftom approaching or bars or clubs its always been someone i met through my social circle or someone ive known for awhile

Why did it end? and did you use any advice on here about maintaing an LTR
Ive seen some great advice on here and whenever i happen to get into another LTR i cant wait to put it to use


Good Luck and sarge on!!!!!

 

[tihash]

Hey, thanks for sharing. I think most people who actually do approaches do them in bars or clubs. I've never been into that scene too much, and don't have many friends who are... hence the daytime approaches.

I met the ex from a cold approach in a bookstore. And she was hot. Unfortunately, after about 6 months, I let the old AFC ways filter into the relationship and I am sure my value decreased in her eyes and that drug on another year and a half. The disrespect from her just increased and increased (to the point she tried cheating and was caught by me). Even when I dumped her, I felt like I was the one dumped. She just didn't give a damn.

Any advice for daytime sarging?

 

[qstorm501]

Hey, thanks for sharing. I think most people who actually do approaches do them in bars or clubs. I've never been into that scene too much, and don't have many friends who are... hence the daytime approaches.

I met the ex from a cold approach in a bookstore. And she was hot. Unfortunately, after about 6 months, I let the old AFC ways filter into the relationship and I am sure my value decreased in her eyes and that drug on another year and a half. The disrespect from her just increased and increased (to the point she tried cheating and was caught by me). Even when I dumped her, I felt like I was the one dumped. She just didn't give a damn.

Any advice for daytime sarging?

I know what you mean about bars and clubs.. I used to be into that scene way more but now most of my friends have settled down and totally dont really go out at anymore hence the daytime approaches for myself..Anyways i think daytime approaches are more efficent anyways ... At bars and the like me and my boys would just usually stand around looking like douches with a beer in our hands oggiling and looking for some IOI from any drunken skank lol.
I really thinks its hard to sarge girls left and right if your gonna be at the same bar all night im sure the girls you were sarging will see you going around hitting on anything that moves lol....

Now daytime approaches are cool cause you can do what i like to call "hit and run". You can sarge 4 different girls at 4 different places with out the targets knowing what you were doing previously and you dont have to spend a penny .. no sitting there and buying beers all night.. no dealing with drunken idiots.. no worrying about a DUI

Do i have any advice? well Ive only been doing this for a couple months so i dont think im the greatest expert but i gotta couple things i can suggest..

Try to make it look totally spontaneous when your out sarging in public places
Usually when im out sarging i try to hop on my cell phone and either talk to some friends and if i see a chick i wanna sarge i immediately tell them i G2G or I have a bunch of comedy albums loaded on my memory card on my cell phone. I usually hold my phone to my ear and listen to them acting like im having a conversation all the while looking out the corner of my eye for HBs... The goal is to play it off and look like your going about your daily business and if you bump into a HB making it look spontaneous instead of going to a public place and looking left and right and making it look obvious of what you doing..

I see you know of the saying "make the ho say no".. and i totally agree sometimes when ive been out and didnt feel like approaching or had AA a simple question approach of saying "Excuse me can i ask you a question..are you single?..Sometimes thats enough to get the ball rolling. If she says no go on about your business if she says yes.. well you know what to do...think about it whats the odds of you scoring with the chick if you say nothing... damn near impossible...now what are the odds if you approach even if its with a simple line ..Im sure your odds increase by a thousand...All this is in the end im begining to realize is a numbers game dont take any rejection personally..all she is is another statistic lol

Well im off to go grocery shopping and sarging..wish me luck!

 

[tihash]

Good luck at the grocery store, brother.

I'm going to statrt a second thread on "Inconsitency in Approaching," but for the same of my journal I'll update the last two days.

Yesterday felt confident, went a couple of places, and couldn't find anyone worth talking to. Called it a night, because I am self-employed (which right now is a CURSE) and have been spending way too much time trying to "sarge." Sarge is in quotes because If I was consistent, I wouldn't have to drive all over town looking and looking... I'd justy jump at every chance.

Today I see a HB who sits by herself at Panera (rare) and KNEW I should approach but didn't. My mind flooded with, "Do I walk up and remain standing, or do I sit at her table?" "What if the people at the next table over overhear?" "Should I be direct and say I was on my way out, and she is really cute, and ask if she is single? Or do I say something else? If so, WHAT do I say?" All the while, the clock ran out and she left.

Next I am at a bookstore and chicken out and let a chick get away.

Now I'm feeling really sh1tty about myself. On to...

Approach #6

Go to the last stop (another bookstore) and I see a girl in an Ohio State tshirt. I piss around too long, then approach. SHe is at a table full of those "ABC for Dummies" books.

Me: You don't look like a dummy! (smiling)
Her: Huh? Oh! (laughs and smiles)
Me: Any fgirl who goes to Ohio State can't be dumb. Do you go there now?
Her: No, I used to.
Me: You graduated?
Her: No, but I am going to school here now.
Me: Are you from here or from there?
Her: From there.
Blah blah blah for about 20 seconds... felt like I was interviewing her. Then it died. AND I FAILED TO CLOSE, and FAILED TO PLOW THROUGH.

Approach #7

Feeling sh1tty for not closing, I am about to leave and see a young (mid-20's) HB come in wearing a suit. I have a professional job, and my friends keep telling me to stop dating college girls and waitresses and whatnot and find a girl with a carrer for an LTR (and LTR is my ultimate goal, once I find a girl who is worthy).

SHe buys a water then goes to the audio books. I walk up.

ME: Got any recommendations?
Her: (loud and confident) Oh, no. I'm just going on a long trip next week.
Me: Where to?
Her: Tallahassee.
Me: Oh. DId you go to school there?
Her: No. My family is from there.
Me: That's nice... that's not too far away.
Her: About 4 hours.
Me: Yeah, but it's not like a cross country trip.

THEN I LET IT DIE.

On my way home, I talk to a female friend and she tells me just ask for the number at that point. Even if the girl is attracted, it is the boy's job to approach, his job to keep convo going, and his job to close.

I agree.

I was thinking of having a standard line: "Hey, I have to run, but it was nice talking to you. Would you like to get together for coffee sometime?" Then go for the number.

QUESTIONS FOR YOU GUYS:

Should I close every time as I proposed, or should I plow to keep the convo going?

How can I CONSISTENTLY make myself approach?

Any advice on how to open, for example, a girl by herself at a table in a cafe? Any advice on the fact others will overhear and I am still self-conscious about it? Do I just sit down? Do I be direct (tell her she is cute and I wanted to meet her?)

Unlike the other night, both #6 and #7 seemed open to talking, albeit not overly friendly... (some of my previous approaches the girls just wouldn't really talk at all!~)... I was thinking, do I need to be direct and tell these girls I am interested? Or do I just go for the coffee close or number close and get on with my life?

I am leaning towards just the number close and moving on... I KNOW this is a numbers game and if I, for example, open 7 girls a week, I might get 2 numbers a week, and might get 1 date a week, and since all of the girls I approach already meet my looks standards I should find some quality girls in a few months' time for sure.

Thoughts???

 

[tihash]

No daytime to report today. But a couple of friends and I went to a bar. At first, an older crowd (mid-30's) and not too much to look at. My friend tells me to approach a chick at the bar for practice. Her friend just went to the bathroom he said.

Approach #8

Me: Hi.
Her: (no response-- doesnt hear me)
Me: HI
Her: Oh, hi.
Me: How's it going?
Her: Good.
Me: Here by yourself?
Her: No, my friend just stepped away.
Me: Do you come here often?
Her: Oh, once every few weeks?
Me: Are you from around here?

Blah, blah until friend comes back in a few minutes. I ask her her name, she tells me, I say nice to meet you, and eject. Could have closed for the # I guess. She was at least 35ish. A 7.

My friend (who is a natural) admonishes me... tells me I should have grabbed the number and been out of there before the friend gets back.

Approach #9

I am standing next to my friends and a chick starts standing next to me. She is cute, but not hot. A 6.5. Turns out she is there alone... is in town visiting her mom for a few weeks.

I say hi. She is all smiles and opens up right away. We talk 45 minutes, all is going well, I initiated kino, she reciprocates. Eventually put my arm around her. After a while, I ask her if she is a good kisser. She says she likes to think so. I say, "Let's find out" and kiss her. It is just a peck...she doesnt open her mouth. I tell her it wasn't all that good of a kiss. She says that's cause it's just a peck. I said give me a real kiss. We make out for 5-10 minutes. She says she is shy about kissing in public. I ask her what she's doing after the bar. She says nothing. I tell her she should come to my place... I need a woman's opinion on some interior decorating. She agrees!!! She then goes to bathroom, and changes her mind (some sh1t about having to meet up with grandmom early, etc). I had already gotten the number, and I'll call her tomorrow.

LESSONS: The bar scene is definitely different from daytime. I think it would be hard to meet a gf at a bar, and hard (but not impossible) to get a same day lay from daytime. Each has its own purpose. Tomorrow is Sunday, which is the best day of the week for bookstores. I'll keep you posted.

 

[tihash]

Approach #10

Was at bookstore yesterday. Not much to look at. Finally see a HB. Violate 3s rule. Make it awkward by getting in her aisle twice and not saying anything. Before i leave i say f-it, and find her and walk right up.

Me: Hi there
Her: (big smile) Hi
Me: I was just on my way out of her, but wanted to come over and say hi. I think you're really cute. Are you single?
Her: Oh, why thank you. I've been dating someone for a couple of months.
Me: No problem... I just figured I'd probably never have the chance to run into you again, so I wanted to meet you.
Her: What's your name?
Me: Tihash
Her: I'm HB.
Me> It was nice to meet you. Take care.
Her: Bye (big smile)

Lame, I know, but MUCH better than doing nothing. I think the ultra-direct opener like that is best used if you can't think of anything else, or truly are on your way out and time-pressed.

Advice??

 

[ezily]

LESSONS: The bar scene is definitely different from daytime. I think it would be hard to meet a gf at a bar, and hard (but not impossible) to get a same day lay from daytime. Each has its own purpose. Tomorrow is Sunday, which is the best day of the week for bookstores. I'll keep you posted.

I agree with what you say here.

Also, on some of your recent approaches I guess my question is why approach in that kind of awkward fashion. Because you're not incompetent like some people you don't come off as being a creep to these girls but I still wonder why you open the way you do. I know that it's direct and all and you'd rather do something than nothing (which I completely agree with), but my advice would be to make it seem more natural. Some of the stuff you did before at the bookstore was good because you can make it look natural and that you just happened to run into her. That's probably the best way to do daytime approaches. I say that you make it seem natural but have a goal or reason for talking to her in the first place. Don't get to chit-chatting too much. Just try and make her laugh and see if you can generate some attraction (I use C&F). Also, because you're doing this during the day I wouldn't recommend waiting 3 days too call. All the girls know this stupid rule. A confident man will call when he pleases. If you feel like going out the next night just give her a call. No answer then leave a message. If she doesn't call back I just give one more chance of a call (with no message). If I still don't hear from her then NEXT.

Anyway, good job on getting back into the game. Again, I'm not the biggest fan of cold approaches but you can make them work if it's natural. I mean even if you meet a girl through a social circle you still have an element of cold approach in there. So good luck and keep us posted.

 

[tihash]

Approach #11

This was yesterday at the mall. After not approaching several HBs (after "Oh, she is walking? How do I stop her?" and other NON-PRODUCTIVE CRAP RUNNING THROUGH MY BRAIN) I see an HB sitting on bench by herself, looking tired.

I sit across from her and say something like, "Boy, you look tired!" No response! So I say it again, learing forward, and louder...

Her: "yeah, I am." (no smile, nothing)
Me: Maybe you should lay down and take a nap. Or go to one of the department stores that sells beds... maybe you could sleep in there.
Her: (smiling) Oh, I'm just waiting for a friend.
Me: Where are you from (I notice an accent)
Her: Australia

blah blah blah, she came her with her bf, it was a long fliught, blah blah i eject.

Feel better for apporaching, but I need to get CONSISTENT with this stuff.

Objective for the weekend: Unlike last Sunday, I will go out and sarge for a good 2+ hours, and intend to get 4-5 approaches in over the weekend.

I will keep you posted.

Any advice is always appreciated.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

niceness man. Keep em coming

 

[tihash]

A friend was in town Saturday, and we went to a museum that was having its annual "fest" with live music, discounted tickets, etc.

Approach #12

See an HB7.5 walking around, appears to be by herself. We make eye contact. I don't approach soon enough, and think she left. I run into her again. I walk up to the painting she is at...

Me: Is that a skull? (pointing at painting)
Her: (silence for 5 full seconds!) Not sure...
Me: Do you happen to know what the clock symbolizes? I see that in a lot of his work?
Her: no, but blah blah blah blah about the artist for a minute or two
Me: What's your name? (this shifts it from art conversation to something more personal)
Her: HBScientist. Yours?
Me: Tihash
not sure about rest, I ask her if she is from around here, she is from Tampa. We chat about this and that (non-art stuff), she is an environmental scientist and i bust on her for being a nerd (doesn't look like a nerd at all) and a dork, etc. lots of smiles, blah blah. get her number.

follow up: I called her tonight (the next day), and she wanted to make plans for friday or sat. it is Easter weekend then, and i usually dont do first dates on the weekend so i told her i'd call around wednesday to confirm something for later in the week (how's that for flipping the script?). i sense a fairly high interest level, but she travels for her job and is out of town mon and maybe tues, etc. she was receptive to the call and friendly and interested, but i think not commiting to the date may make up for the fairly quick call. anyhow, i have a good feeling she wont flake.

Approach #13

In museum. See a HB7, and get 2 paintings ahead of her and wait for her to walk up to me. Ask her about something in paintin g, we talk a little, and now are moving together from painting to painting. I ask if she is from around here, and she oddly moves on to next painting w/o me abruptly. I ask if she is an artist, and I get "No, but my bf is. That'w why I'm here. He's around here somewhere." Could have tried for the #, but not into that stuff. Bad karma if you ask me to intentionally go for a girl who is taken. I let her move on to the next painting and I eject.

Approach #14

Museum again. HB6.5 is there with a notebook. Obviously taking notes for a college class. I open her, and we chit chat. Convo dies, and I ALMOST LET IT DIE OFF WITHOUT CLOSING!!! Shame on me.

But,

I ask her if she is going to listen to the music outside. The rapport just isnt there. But she says yes, and I invite her to meet up with my friend and me outside at the band shell after she is done. She says yes. I say, "Well, just give me your # and I'll call you." She does, and wants mine too, but security guard comes over and tells us to turn off our cells because you cant use a cell in museum (we were just typing in #'s). The guard is 45ish, female, and ugly. lol

Anyhow, I call her in about 45 min when my friend and I are outside, leave vm, and she doesnt return call. I will text or call in a day or so. She was ok looks wise, not hot but cute, but a 22 y/o college senior, and that turns me on since i am 31. not expecting much.


Wrap up for weekend:

No Sunday approaches... busy with family stuff. You know, the first week or so after my breakup I was jumping out of my skin to **try** to approach like daily. Now, I think I am used to it being a process, and If I have something more important to do than sarge, I think I am realizing that is ok. So long as I sarge at least 2x a week or so.

It has been about 21 days post-breakup, and I have been laid once (well, one new girl but have done her on 3 occasions), have gotten 4 numbers, and have approached 14 times. I have PLENTY of room to improve, and still basically SUCK at PU. BUT, with my little bit of effort, look at the results so far. Not all that bad. This should motivate me (and YOU!) to sarge on and keep playing. It is largely a numbers game.

I hope to have 100 approaches under my belt within 3 months of the breakup.

Advice, criticism, etc is always appreciated.

 

[Crazy Asian]

Like the next day, I wank into a Subway for lunch

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

lol keep it up man.
u were doing so awesome in 2005!


Sometimes it's not ur fault for having a bad convo that just fizzes out.
Sometimes the girl just isn't your type and doesn't want to have a convo with you.
Don't beat yourself up over these b1tches, keep up that positive attitude!

and yes, a guy half your age is giving you advice

 

[tihash]

Approach #15

Went looking for chicks during daytime a few days this week but nothing. Today I am at the bank, in line, not even looking... and this tiny (4'11") cute girl gets in line behind me...

Me: (look at her and smile) Hi
Me: How tall are you?
Her" 4'11"
Me: That's cool
Her: (nothing except a suprised look)
Me: I like short girls. I dated a girl who was 4'11" in college, but that was as short as I've gone.
Her: I bet you're 6'2".
Me: yup
Her: My ex husband was 6'2". I think my 2 kids will be tall, too. Hopefully.
Me: Yeah. How old are they?
Her: 4 and 6.
Me: That's cool.
(convo is dying off)
Her: You know what... I've seen you around. Do you live or work around here?
Me: Yeah,. both. You?
Her: Yeah.

(now it is my turn to go to a teller)

I KNEW i should have closed, but did not. Chicks with kids are not relationship material for me, BUT that is NOT why I didn't close... I didn't close because I chickened out.

I don't like sarging where others can listen in. People were in front of me in line, and behind us in line.

If this chick and I were talking in a more secluded place, I know I would have closed.

BUT SO WHAT IF ANYONE IS LISTENING IN!!

SHame on me!

However, before I get too down on myself, I must say that 3 weeks ago I would have never even opened her. Actually, probably 10 days ago I would not have opened her... i rarely do that in a line or where others can hear.

THings to Work On:

Open more *consistently*
ALWAYS CLOSE.
Do not give a hoot what other people may thin.

Remember: Rejection is better than regret!

That girl was probably pissed I didn't close... and so am I.

It for me is a 2-step process:
(a) OPEN
(b) If I am interested, CLOSE

There it is.

By way of update, HBScientist and I have plans to meet for drinks Sat night.

As always, advice and pointers always welcome.

 

[ezily]

yeah good job so far. You know you don't have to close every single time. That's not always necessary. Also, just be sure to close in the proper context. You know, museums, bookstores, etc are all good. But in line at a bank seems a little weird. So don't fret that loss.

Good luck with HBScientist. I don't need so say anything because from the looks of it you know how to get a girl not to flake (for the most part). You seem to do a good job of assessing interest. That's why you don't have to close all the time. If you don't sense interest there's no point. She'll end up flaking every time if she wasn't interested. Obviously HBScientist had interest or she would not have answered your call.

 

[tihash]

Ezily, thanks for the input. I truly appreciate it.

Approach #16

Went to a bar with a female friend Thursday. It was PACKED. I mean, it would take about 15 minues to walk from one end to the other there were so many people. Unpleasant to hang with friends at, but great for me to go back and sarge alone.

My female friend tells me this chic by herself at a table keeps looking at me. So my female friend goes to the bathroom and I approach.

Me: Hey, you look all chilled out here by yourself
Her: Yeah, my friends went to get drinks, blah blah

Don't remember most of the convo. Just talking about nothing, pure fluff, kinoed her, put arm around her, no return keno.

Her 2 female friends return with drinks. The uglier friend literally and physically pushes me out of the way and sits on a stoll in front of me. The girl I was talking to protested to the ugly friend ("hey, I was talking to him.. he's cool") and the ugly one turns around and says, "here, squeeze in" and puts me back next to the target.

I take the opportnity to chat up the ugly for a min, and she is now cool with me. I don't do bars often and often sarge solo chicks during daytime, so it was cool to "disarm the c0ckblock" as I have read about. I then chat up the target a while, and the 2 friends declare they must go to their car for something. The ugly tells me to "take good care of" their friend. Turns out the 2 that left again live locally, and the target lives nearer to me on the other side of town.

At this point, I get the number and feel bad for the female friend I was actually there with, and tell the target I will catch her later and have to find my friend. She says, "Why can't you stay here with me?" and I tell her again I have to go find my friend. The target is mildly drunk.

I think odds would be 50:50 or better I could have hooked up with the target if I had been there by myself and just hung in there.

I called her the next day, tried to get to to rent a movie with me, couldn't, and we agreed to make plans for some time next week.

I will keep you posted.

Had a date with HBScientist tonight. Went fairly well. Tonguedown. I still think interest level is high. I'll keep you posted on that one, too.

Advice always encouraged.

Thanks.